Tuition Qtiyapa: Hum Fees De Chuke Sanam - YouTube

Sagarika. Thank you for gifting me this keyboard, dear.

But I found it quite difficult to type with it.

So I've handwritten all the notes on theory of relativity.

- Andhadhun, son? - Yes, sir?

- Here it is, son. Right here...

Ya'll go back home and practice... I mean revise these notes.

Saregama...

Nandini?

You seem worried, child.

All my answers turn out to be wrong 'cause of my calculation mistakes.

Practice makes a "man" perfect!

You get your gender transformed and keep on practising.

You'll be perfect.

I was thinking about joining coaching classes.

The children I reject, go to Kota and study at Resonance or Bansal.

What will people say?

Tuition master Ustad Arjit Singh Darbar's daughter...

..goes out of her house for coaching!

- But Dad... - Nandini!

I don't have time for this nonsense!

There's a new student from an international school coming over.

An international school student is coming here for JEE coaching?

Yes!

He could've given his SATs or GMAT and gone abroad to study,

but he's going to give his JEE to study in his country

and go work abroad.

One, two... One, two... Hundred!

Siri! You've got me on the footpath again!

That's not necessary, no one is sleeping right now 'cause it's daylight now.

Siri, go to hell! I'll find my own way.

That bitch Siri.

Steve uncle would have kept her in her place.

Why is there a vector sign here? It's supposed to be scalar right?

I finally found my way.

Not up, you fool! You've to go straight!

Why does this arrow point upwards then?

Moron!

- Sir? Sir? - Sameer?

Sameer, you're late.

I got late because of navigation issues, sir.

No, no, no!

You've to reach your exam center atleast 15 minutes before your exam.

Exam?

But, I've come only for coaching, sir.

Sameer, there's an entrance exam for every entrance exam's coaching class.

Which you will have to pass.

Okay, sir. I'll pass it.

Pass...

He was talking about you passing your exam.

Stupid.

Such difficult math! Even Shera won't be able to do it.

Come on, give it to me. It's done.

Sir, please, sir...?

Give me another 2-3 days and I'll finish all.

You're not stupid...

You're dumb! What is this!?

Your are so shitty that you are not even capable of my shit.

Go and take admission in Kota!

Shall I join with management quota, sir?

Sir, hold on. Here you go, a money garland,

some bundles of cash and some jewelry.

Son, cow eats grass, Bengali eats juice

and real tuition teacher takes bribes.

But for tax purposes, I won't accept donation from you.

But, when the time comes, I will ask you for some special offering.

Okay, it's that time now... It's time for that special offering.. Give it to me

Go and get his bag, child.

- Show me your notebooks? - Here you go, sir.

- Good. - Thank you, sir.

You also show it to me, child.

How can distance be measured in kilograms, child?

- Both of you come to class tomorrow. - Yes, sir.

<i> Hari Om Such a bad state.

Sameer...

How do all your answers turn out to be right?

'Cause I don't calculate from here but from here.

- From your heart? - No, from this.

- What's this? - This is a mobile phone.

It's starting to get really smart now.

- It has a calculator app, look... - Sameer!

All this is probably allowed in your international board.

But, we're only allowed to use a calculator after 12th grade.

But everyone eventually has to use a calculator.

What if my father finds out?

Even your father must've used a calculator at some point.

Only for tax purposes

What if something goes wrong when using the buttons?

We can always delete the answers.

Nandini, you can use this phone for a couple of other things as well.

Like what?

Like sending me a friend request on Facebook.

- And? - You can follow me back on Insta.

- And? - And you can order spicy food for dinner.

You can shop. You can use it for banking.

You can watch porn on it. You can use it to play PUBG.

You can get on the darkweb and affect the American elections.

Listen? You can even get nuclear codes.

What a marvellous thing Pandeyji has made.

Wow!

You look like a doberman with this puppy filter.

Try modelling after engineering. You can become the next Miss World.

Sameer, teach me to use the Calc, will you?

It's very easy. This is a finger and that's the Calculator.

That's how you need to use it.

Yeah right!

Nandini! What's this?!

I don't know anything.

I didn't do anything. My driver did it all.

I'm leaving.

I kept wondering how your answers were all right but your rough column was empty.

You have been wasting time with this dumbass in the name of self study.

- Give that to me! - No, dad. Please wait.

- Please don't do that, dad. - Let go off my hand, Nandini!

I haven't even logged out.

You should've thought of that before you logged in.

Here's your phone.

The battery's quite low, I played 2-3 rounds of PUBG.

And another thing, don't come back here for tuitions.

- Sir, before I leave... - No, no, no! You can't meet Nandini.

No, that's not it, sir. I have paid for the entire year, sir.

If I got some sort of a refund, I could buy a Xbox and play PUBG with that.

Mr. Sameer Chinkara!

I think you're forgetting that you gave me special offering, not fees.

And special offerings are non-refundable.

Who keeps setting the AC to 18 degrees every time, man?

Nandini!

Nandini? Nandini? Nandini? Nandini, child?! Nandini?!

Did you butcher a chicken again?

Isn't this the red pen you used to correct my calculation mistakes?

I broke this pen's nib today.

How do you plan on correcting me now, father?

If this is how it's going to be, I won't teach you henceforth.

I have a student- 'Roll Number One Raj'.

He's soon going to be- 'All India Rank One Raj'.

He's going to be your study partner from today.

He doesn't need a red pen, 'cause his tongue itself is orange.

Statutory Warning - Chewing of Pan Masala/Gutkha is injurious to health. It causes cancer.

Does this house have a dustbin some...

Wow! Is your tongue orange as well?

- No, Reynolds. - Come 'One Raj'...

Is there no dustbin in this house?

I've wanted to spit this out since morning.

Here you go, spit it out here.

Tell me, sir. Who do I have to teach?

This is my daugther Nandini, you have to teach her.

I'll go to pay the advance tax.

Let's go to the study room, Nandini?

Let's go and study.

It's our first class today, Nandini.

So, I need to tell you something.

I've had study partners before this.

But I've promised to study these 7 chapters only with you.

Will you eat Gutkha? Statutory Warning - Chewing of Pan Masala/Gutkha is injurious to health. It causes cancer.

Let's start with chapter 5.

- But that's 2. - It's 5 in the Roman numerical.

Don't worry, it may seem tough in the beginning, but it'll get easier.

Here you go

What happened, Nandini? Why aren't you saying anything?

'Cause I've forgotten my dialogue!

Here's the script then! Read it out.

You can never be my tutor, 'Roll number One Raj'!

Sameer taught me to use the Calc on a phone.

And all my answers are incomplete without that.

I've already accepted him as my tutor!

I even paid him my fees.

Have you lost your mind, Nandini?!

I do all the hard work and you pay someone else?!

You've betrayed me!

Come on, let's go to your tutor. Come on

- What if my dad finds out? - Come on, Nandini!

- I need to get this bag fixed. - Okay.

But if you don't get back in time, you'll be stuck in traffic.

Don't worry. We'll leave at 2 and be back at 4.

But, it's 3 already.

We'll leave at 2 and be back at 4.

Okay, get me a kilo of onions on your way back.

- Give me a cup of tea, man. - Okay, sir...

- I don't have money... You keep this. - Sir?

- Here. - Thank you, sir.

Sir, can I take a selfie with you?

- Mister, give me a pack of paan masala. - Sir, your credit from last time is due.

2 paan, 4 bidis and 3 Gutkha's Statutory Warning - Chewing of Pan Masala/Gutkha is injurious to health. It causes cancer.

If I add the previous bill of 54 bucks, it makes it 69 bucks now...

Statutory Warning - Chewing of Pan Masala/Gutkha is injurious to health. It causes cancer.

This pizza is such an amazing dish

Green capsicum, red capsicum, mushroom, onions...

Maida base I'll make it at home, it looks good!

Shall we have a pizza, Nandini? It's Wednesday today.

There's a 35% discount.

Which means, a pizza costing 250 bucks will be 162.50.

What happened, Nandini? What are you thinking about?

Nandini, this is where we'll find Sameer.

He keeps coming here. Let me check at the counter.

- Does someone named Sameer come here? - Nandini!

Nandini, I knew you'd come!

Hold on.

Look at how many Instagram followers you have now.

- Inspite of you not being active. - How is that possible?

'Cause you're a girl. Hi, I'm Sameer.

I'm 'Roll number One Raj'.

I'm Nandini's...I'm her dad's student.

And my tutor.

Yes, Sameer. You taught me to use a Calc.

Which got me good marks.

But, 'Roll number One Raj' taught me how to calculate.

Which got me better at math.

He's my tutor from now.

I transfered the fee I paid you, to him.

It's okay. If not you, I'll teach one of your look alikes.

Hey, Katrina! Wil you study Chemistry from me?

Nandini, shall we have a pizza?

Statutory Warning - Chewing of Pan Masala/Gutkha is injurious to health. It causes cancer.

Even you have some, Nandini. It tastes good with gutkha. Statutory Warning - Chewing of Pan Masala/Gutkha is injurious to health. It causes cancer.