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Chicago woman found dead after documenting divorce on TikTok | Banfield - YouTube
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welcome back sonia khan had left her
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abusive husband and i was about to move
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from chicago to chattanooga starting a
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newly single life and posting about her
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journey literally and figured it
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figuratively on tick tock all along the
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way and she had a lot of help from her
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friends who supported her throughout
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this entire ordeal until two weeks ago
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khan was found dead in her chicago
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apartment shot to death by her
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ex-husband her friend gabriella was
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about to join her for for the trip to
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chattanooga when that dreaded phone call
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came uh and gabriella bordeaux uh joins
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us now thank you so much for being here
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gabriella i know um
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this is still very very raw and it can't
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it can't be easy to talk about um
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because i know this is this is one of
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your best friends
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she is yeah
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what was what was sonja like how i mean
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she just looked so vibrant in the videos
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how would you describe her
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she was like a thunderstorm
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so powerful and fun and
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direct and bold and
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effervescent
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she was my mirror and i love her she's
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absolutely exquisite and so much fun
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yeah those are amazing photos of of the
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both of you i know that she was
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closing out one chapter of her life at
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least hoping to end her marriage um and
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she was going to move and try to get
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away and you were actually you were you
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were planning to help her right
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i was i'm also her roommate so i went up
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to see her and bring her home
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and how much was she looking forward to
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it
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oh god
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there's so many messages so many texts
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instagram messages
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posts on instagram
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we were ecstatic about it and so excited
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about it
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she was ready to see the mountains again
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she told me time and time again everyone
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else as well she's not a city girl she
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never was she was ready to come home
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what can you say about the relationship
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with with her ex i mean did you ever
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suspect
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that that he could be this violent
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i had a feeling but i don't think i
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seriously ever suspected anything
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because
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i
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did not have the misfortune or fortune
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of meeting him in person i only met him
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through face time i didn't understand i
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didn't know
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yeah and she would obviously talk a lot
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on social media about what was going on
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but did she confide in you also about
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about him
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she did she told me
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everything
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about
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how they were how he controlled her how
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he tried to
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manipulate her we did manipulate her in
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many ways socially
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personally
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how she dressed who she saw
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what she did
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what she was doing for her career so she
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did confide in me
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um
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i wish i'd seen it
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yeah it sounds like she had a very very
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bright future ahead of her um gabrielle
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how did you find out what happened
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i i found out um
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i found out on the train
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i had flown up to chicago to she bought
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my ticket i was flying up there to bring
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her home and i hadn't heard from her all
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day but
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got off the plane and
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i remember her saying something about
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the blue line i have no idea what that
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means i've never been to chicago so i
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got on the train
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and uh ferociously tried to figure out
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where her what her address was asked my
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friends like hey have you heard from her
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or my text coming through what are we
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doing
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um
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asked her i called her no response and
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um
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i ultimately found out through
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instagram and uh
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one of her friends told me but i didn't
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really fully uh accept it until uh
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her dad called me in that like while i
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was on the phone with the other friend
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and told me what happened
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oh my gosh and you were like on your way
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there literally already made it to
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chicago
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yeah i was in chicago on the train going
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to her house expecting to have a night
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out with her yeah
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yeah what did her dad say
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he was very calm but he he just told me
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the detail of the minimum of the details
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that she'd been shot in her apartment
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and
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asked me if i knew anything or if i was
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there yet or did i have raquel's number
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or everyone is still trying to piece
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things together at that time but
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that and that was pretty much the entire
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conversation um
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her mother called me right afterward and
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pretty much said the same thing
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more distraughtly
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but
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i still wasn't shocked and disbelief i
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was on a train
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in the middle of the city i know
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yeah
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yeah i can't even imagine i want to read
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one of the messages that sonya posted on
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tiktok and there are a lot of them
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but this one said going through a
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divorce as a south asian woman feels
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like you failed at life sometimes the
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way the community labels you the lack of
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emotional support you receive
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and the pressure to stay with someone
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because what will people say
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um is is isolating um and you can see
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some of her messages right there i mean
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the thought that she felt pressured
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to stay and that it ended this way it's
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just such a shame that that that that
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societal pressure existed
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it is a shame and i think it's
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despicable and just completely crazy
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that
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it is even expected of these women
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especially in their circumstances
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especially as locals they are
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especially having supportive
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like progressive friends that they have
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and the direction that they were going
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you know i i still cannot believe that
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it was my friend i still cannot believe
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it was her out of all people she was so
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bold and honest and open about what she
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was doing and ready to leave it just
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it's absolutely absurd like and i can't
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imagine other women who are not as
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fiery and fighting as she is i can't
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imagine the future that they're
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expecting or they will meet
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yeah and she was so close i mean you
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were there you were so close to to sort
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of rescuing her in a way it's just such
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a shame the way that it ended um
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gabriella thank you so much i know this
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can't be easy we really appreciate you
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coming on tonight
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of course have a good night thank you
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okay you got it i want i want to turn
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now to dr uh michelle gallietta she is a
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clinical and uh and forensic
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psychologist um dr goliad i mean you
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just heard from that friend it's so
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heartbreaking but to see
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almost the warning signs on tick tock on
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social media these women posted videos
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for so long uh you know talking about
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what they were going through it's just
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so disturbing
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it is you know um it's unacceptable and
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i think
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i don't know if people know how common
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it is but a woman is beaten in our
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country every nine seconds
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um
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and and
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about a quarter of them require
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are injured seriously enough to require
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medical attention so it's a it's a more
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common thing than people know
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yeah and in dana's case she had actually
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filed for divorce uh
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and uh was granted a hearing just last
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month she even celebrated on social
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media again she was documenting
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everything on her journey i want to show
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you this one video she posted
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hi everybody i'm dana alex hey and um
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yeah guys oh my god this is gonna be my
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getting divorced mukbang
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i went to the courthouse here in kapolei
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and i wanted to get court paperwork for
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brian to
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for my husband brian so you don't have
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to appear in court because me and him
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are trying to get a divorce it hasn't
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been working out we're not coming to an
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agreement well he doesn't want to come
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to an agreement i do
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dr gaglia you have to wonder like if her
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ex was watching that video
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is that just sort of fueling his anger
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you know it certainly it certainly could
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and i think what you have to understand
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is that this generation of people they
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share their lives on
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on tick tock and and that's the way that
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people kind of communicate with their
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friends and express themselves so um
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you know and it may not be that that was
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the thing i mean people
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domestic violence perpetrators stalk
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people and will find information no
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matter where it is did it make it a
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little bit easier
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you know perhaps um
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but the interesting thing is you know
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as far as i know she did not have an
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order of protection and so i think one
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of the things that
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can be helpful is to have an order of
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protection so the research is a little
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mixed on it but what it allows you to do
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is if someone even calls you or makes
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contact and they're not allowed
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to have them arrested yeah and i don't
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want a victim blame at all obviously and
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people use social media as an outlet
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almost as a therapy in a way like like
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these women seem to be talking to people
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out there who are going through similar
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problems but again you do have to wonder
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posting those videos if you've got an
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unstable x um
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it might push things over the edge
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um you know it's a double-edged sword
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because people get support from the
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internet but they also i am certain that
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those women got terrible backlash from
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what they posted as well the nasty
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horrible things that other people
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watching um would have posted so it's
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kind of like even you know what you get
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get some support you get some
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some um
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really nasty nasty and and um horrible
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comments and and then there's the kind
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of piece about providing information and
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just not so much that just the
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information about whereabouts but the
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kind of aggravating right so most
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domestic violence perpetrators um they
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seek control
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they actually have low self-esteem and
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are many of them quite dependent and so
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the idea that this is kind of public
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humiliation is
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is very problematic for a lot of those
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those
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perpetrators yeah it's just so awful and
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again you've seen the videos how vibrant
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these women were and they just had such
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a life to live and and to see it end
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this way is just tragic dr michelle
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gallieta thank you so much for coming on
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tonight thank you okay anyone affected
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by abuse and in need of support can
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contact the national domestic violence
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hotline it's
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1-800-799-7233 advocates are available
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24 hours a day
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seven days a week thank you for watching
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go to newsnationnow.com to find news
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