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Donald Trump Cold-Calls Michael Bloomberg - YouTube
Channel: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
[5]
-Well, my new poll numbers are
in, and it's not looking good.
[8]
There's only one thing
left to do --
[11]
make cold calls
to normal, everyday Americans
[13]
and try to win back
their support.
[17]
[ Line ringing ]
[21]
Congratulations,
you're speaking to Donald Trump.
[26]
I'm calling undecided voters
[28]
who are way less rich
and way less successful than me.
[30]
What poor loser
am I speaking to?
[34]
[ Cheers and applause ]
[44]
-Mike Bloomberg.
[46]
-Wait a second.
[47]
The Michael Bloomberg of
Bloomberg News and Bloomberg TV?
[50]
-That's right.
[51]
-And "Bloomberg Med"
and "Chicago Bloomberg"
[53]
and "Bloomberg 3: Tokyo Drift"?
[55]
-Sure, Donald.
-Well, this is fantastic.
[58]
I was gonna ask you
for your vote,
[60]
but now that I have you
on the phone,
[61]
how about I just ask you some
questions like an interview?
[64]
Even a stable genius like me
would like to pick
[66]
Mike Bloomberg's very smart,
very huge brain.
[71]
-You know I'm running
against you, right?
[74]
-Like I said -- very dumb brain.
[77]
It's a teeny-tiny,
very small brain.
[80]
Okay, let's get started --
[82]
Why exactly are you running
for president?
[84]
-Well, I've joined the race
[86]
to return our country to sanity
and honesty...
[89]
[ Cheers and applause ]
[96]
...so we can be proud
of America again,
[99]
and step one is giving you
a New York goodbye.
[103]
[ Cheers and applause ]
[105]
-Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
[107]
What's a New York goodbye?
[109]
-Sending you back to Queens
in a Yellow Cab
[112]
while Times Square Elmo
flips you off.
[115]
[ Laughter,
cheers and applause ]
[118]
-Wow. That's very mean, Mike.
Very mean. Very nasty.
[123]
Very nasty. Very nasty answer.
[126]
Didn't expect that from you.
Very, very nasty.
[129]
Next question --
What makes you think
[131]
you'd be a better president
than me?
[133]
And you can't cheat
and use facts.
[134]
[ Laughter ]
[136]
-Well, let's see --
I'm a self-made businessman,
[139]
a proven leader,
and a New York icon,
[142]
whereas you just play
those things on TV.
[145]
[ Laughter,
cheers and applause ]
[151]
Plus, I was mayor
of the greatest city in America
[155]
with the greatest audience
in the world.
[157]
[ Cheers and applause ]
[162]
-Well, I do love
New York City mayors.
[166]
I even keep one as a pet.
Good boy.
[169]
Good boy. Good boy.
[172]
But, anyway, this is
the big leagues, Mike,
[175]
the bigly big leagues,
so let me ask --
[177]
What would you do if you got
to sit where I'm sitting?
[180]
-Well, first, I'd wipe
the KFC grease off the seat...
[183]
[ Laughter ]
[185]
...maybe take some of those
Kid Rock posters off the walls,
[190]
and then I'd tackle key issues
like climate change
[193]
and gun safety
and income inequality...
[196]
[ Cheers and applause ]
[200]
...which would mean
raising taxes on billionaires.
[204]
-Wait. I'm gonna have to pay
more in taxes?
[207]
-No, I said billionaires.
[209]
[ Laughter,
cheers and applause ]
[213]
-That was a low blow, Mike.
[215]
I'm actually a very successful
person just like you.
[217]
I've created and run
many beautiful businesses,
[220]
and none of them have failed...
[223]
besides the casinos.
[224]
-And the university?
-Oh, yeah.
[226]
-And the magazine.
-That's right.
[228]
-And the steaks.
-Uh-huh.
[229]
-And the water.
-Forgot about that one.
[231]
-And the board game.
-I did that?
[233]
-And the vodka.
-Pour one out.
[235]
-And the airline.
-Okay! Okay! Okay!
[236]
Let's change the subject!
I don't like this.
[238]
I don't like this game.
[239]
[ Cheers and applause ]
[244]
Here's one more very perfect,
very important question --
[247]
Are you watching the Super Bowl
this weekend?
[249]
-Yes, I am. Actually,
I have a 60-second commercial
[253]
airing during the game.
[255]
-Really? Me, too.
What's yours about?
[258]
-It's about an important issue
facing our country right now
[262]
and how I can use my experience
as a mayor and business leader
[265]
to bring America forward.
[267]
-Cool.
[268]
In my commercial, I get really
angry, then I eat a Snickers bar
[271]
and turn into Betty White.
[272]
[ Laughter ]
[276]
-Well, it's been a fun
interview, "Mini" Mike.
[280]
That's my nickname for you,
by the way, Mini Mike.
[283]
Do you have
any nicknames for me?
[285]
-Well, usually,
I just call you that [bleep].
[288]
[ Laughter ]
[290]
-Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Stop that!
I've heard enough.
[291]
I've heard enough.
[292]
I guess you learn a lot of
colorful words in New York City.
[295]
Rudy! No! Rudy!
[297]
I got to go, Mike.
Rudy just peed on the carpet.
[298]
No, Rudy! Bad boy! Rudy!
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