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This Cyber Monday, Shop The #ColbertSmallBizBump | Why Nick Offerman Loves Redmon's Popcorn - YouTube
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WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW."
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I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT.
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( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
A LITTLE BREAK?
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HAD A COUPLE OF DAYS OFF FOR
THANKSGIVING.
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DID YOU HAVE SOMETHING GOOD,
JOHN?
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>> YEAH, A GOOD MEAL, A GOOD
FAMILY TIME.
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THAT'S RIGHT ON.
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>> Stephen: WHEN YOU WERE DOWN
IN NEW ORLEANS, DO YOU HAVE
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NEW ORLEANS BASED STUFFING?
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CRAYFISH?
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>> YOU PUT NEW ORLEANS SEASONING
ON IT AND IT MAKES EVERYTHING
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NEW ORLEANS.
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EVEN IF IT'S JUST REGULAR OLD
MAC AND CHEESE, BOP BOW!
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>> Stephen: YOU'RE
TRANSPORTED.
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>> Jon: IT'S SOMEWHERE ELSE.
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>> Stephen: BOP BOW!
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>> Jon: BOP BOW!
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( PIANO RIFF )
>> Stephen: HAPPY MONDAY TO
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EVERYONE, AND TO MY JEWISH
VIEWERS, HAPPY
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SECOND NIGHT OF HANUKKAH.
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( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: HAPPY HANUKKAH.
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THE SECOND NIGHT IS PARTICULARLY
IMPORTANT, BECAUSE IT
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COMMEMORATES THE DAY WHEN THE
ANCIENT MACCABEES GATHERED IN
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THE TEMPLE TO PRETEND THEY LIKED
THE DRESS SHIRT THEY GOT FROM
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THEIR AUNT.
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( LAUGHTER )
IT'S STILL NOVEMBER, SO IT'S AN
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UNUSUALLY EARLY CHANUKAH THIS
YEAR.
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I'M GUESSING IT'S TOUGH TO GO
DIRECTLY FROM THANKSGIVING INTO
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ANOTHER HOLIDAY.
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ESPECIALLY ON THE FOOD FRONT.
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"I COULDN'T EAT ANOTHER BITE OF
MASHED POTATOES AND CRANBERRY
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SAUCE.
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OOH, FRIED POTATOES AND
APPLESAUCE!"
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( LAUGHTER )
MMM!
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MMM!
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SOUR CREAM!
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>> Jon: WHOO!
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>> Stephen: FOR ALL OF YOU
PLAYING
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DREIDEL TONIGHT, REMEMBER,
GAMBLING'S ONLY FUN 'TIL IT
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BECOMES A PROBLEM.
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AVOID ANYONE SPENDING THEIR GELT
ON CHANUKAH BETTING APPS LIKE
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DREIDEL-KINGS.
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( LAUGHTER )
TODAY IS ALSO CYBER-MONDAY,
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A.K.A. "BUY JEFF BEZOS A SECOND
PENIS ROCKET DAY."
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( LAUGHTER )
>> Jon: OH, MY GOSH.
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>> Stephen: IT'S NICE.
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TWO.
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SWORD FIGHT.
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( PIANO RIFF )
SURE.
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IT'S THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE
HOLIDAY SEASON.
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CHILDREN LIE AWAKE IN THEIR
BEDS, LISTENING FOR THE CLICK
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CLICK CLICK OF THEIR MOM
ENTERING PROMO CODES.
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( LAUGHTER )
IT MIGHT BE HARD TO FIND THE
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PERFECT GIFT THIS SEASON,
BECAUSE THE SUPPLY CHAIN IS A
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MESS.
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WHICH IS WHY "SOME HOLIDAY
SHOPPERS ARE DOUBLING DOWN
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STOCKPILING GIFTS IN CASE THEIR
FAVORITE ITEMS DON'T ARRIVE IN
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TIME."
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THAT'S WHY REALLY SMART SHOPPERS
DON'T WAIT FOR BLACK FRIDAY.
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THEY STARTED TRAMPLING PEOPLE
WEEKS AGO.
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( LAUGHTER )
ONE SURVEY FOUND THAT THIS YEAR
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A WHOPPING 20% OF SHOPPERS SAID
THEY PLAN TO ORDER MORE GIFTS IN
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CASE SOME ARE DELAYED OR
CANCELED.
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SO, IF YOU'RE DOING THE 12 DAYS
OF CHRISTMAS, BE SAFE AND DOUBLE
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YOUR ORDER.
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THAT'S 16 MAIDS A-MILKING, 20
LORDS A-LEAPING, AND FORGET
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ABOUT 12 DRUMMERS DRUMMING--
JUST HIRE THE TEXAS A&M MARCHING
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BAND.
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( APPLAUSE )
THAT'S GOOD!
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>> Jon: PLEASE PLAY THE DRUM
FOR ME.
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P A-PA-PUM-PUM.
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>> Stephen: ONE RETAIL EXPERT
DESCRIBED THE MARKET THIS WAY:
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"WE SEE A CONSUMER WHO IS
ANXIOUS TO SPEND.
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THEY ARE EAGER TO SHOP AND
ANXIOUS ABOUT THE EXECUTION."
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COINCIDENTALLY, "EAGER TO SHOP
AND ANXIOUS ABOUT THE EXECUTION"
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IS ALSO THE TITLE OF MARIE
ANTOINETTE'S MEMOIR.
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( LAUGHTER )
YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T HEAR MARIE
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ANTOINETTE JOKES ANYMORE.
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AUDIENCES LOVE FRENCH REVOLUTION
JOKES.
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SURE!
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( APPLAUSE )
UNFORTUNATELY, THERE ARE A LOT
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OF SMALL BUSINESSES STRUGGLING
THROUGH THIS PANDEMIC.
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SO, WE HERE AT "THE LATE SHOW"
HAVE BEEN TRYING TO HELP BY
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ENCOURAGING PEOPLE TO POST ABOUT
SMALL BUSINESSES THAT COULD
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USE A BOOST, USING THE HASHTAG
"COLBERT SMALL BIZ BUMP" AND
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THEN HIGHLIGHTING SOME OF THEM
ON THE SHOW.
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WE EVEN MADE A BIG COMMERCIAL
FOR A PLACE CALLED FOGGY PINE
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BOOKS IN BOONE, NORTH CAROLINA
THAT FEATURED TOM HANKS.
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AND ANOTHER ONE, JUST HEAVENLY
FUDGE FACTORY ON LOPEZ ISLAND
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WASHINGTON, THAT FEATURED KENNY
G.-- OR COULD IT HAVE BEEN TOM
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HANKS PLAYING KENNY G?
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HE'S THAT GOOD.
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( APPLAUSE )
AND I'M PROUD TO SAY THAT YOUR
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SUPPORT HAS MADE A BIG IMPACT ON
THE SMALL BUSINESSES WE'VE
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FEATURED.
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JUST LOOK AT WHAT HAPPENED AFTER
WE MENTIONED A SMALL BAKERY ON
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"THE LATE SHOW."
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>> A STORE IN CEDAR RAPIDS,
IOWA, CALLED SHAWNNIECAKES
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SPECIALTY TREATS, SAW A HUGE
SPIKE IN BUSINESS OVER THE
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WEEKEND.
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THEY SELL TOFFEE BUTTER COOKIES
LEMON POUNDCAKE, CHOCOLATE CAKES
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KNOWN AS JORDANS.
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>> SHAWNNIECAKES LOOKED GOOD.
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I WAS LOOKING ON THE SCREEN.
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>> LOOKED REAL GOOD.
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>> NOT OFTEN I WANT TO LICK MY
TV SCREEN, BUT THAT LOOKED
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GOOD.
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>> STEPHEN: HUGE SUCCESS!
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NOT ONLY DID WE HELP
SHAWNNIECAKES, WE TEMPTED GAYLE
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KING TO FRENCH KISS HER SAMSUNG!
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( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
A LITTLE SAMSUNG TONGUE TO
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TONGUE THE SAMSUNG!
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SHE SAID IT, NOT ME.
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AND SINCE WE PUT OUT THE CALL,
WE'VE HEARD ABOUT EVEN MORE
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SMALL BUSINESSES THAT COULD USE
A BOOST.
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I'M TALKING ABOUT GREAT PLACES
LIKE VINTAGE JEWELRY ON SPRING
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STREET IN EUREKA SPRINGS,
ARKANSAS; AND PREUSS PETS IN
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LANSING, MICHIGAN.
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AND, IN AUBURN, MASSACHUSETTS
MCCOY'S ACTION KARATE.
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SO MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE THAN
INACTION KARATE.
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"COME AT ME, BRO.
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I WILL NOT DO ANYTHING."
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( LAUGHTER )
AND WE ALSO GOT THIS VIDEO FROM
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GREEN LEAF DENTAL CARE IN HOUSE
SPRINGS, MISSOURI.
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>> GREETINGS, STEPHEN.
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MY NAME'S NATHAN SUTER, DENTIST
AND OWNER OF GREEN LEAF DENTAL
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CARE IN HOUSE SPRINGS, MISSOURI.
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GREEN LEAF DENTAL CARE IS A
SMALL REFERENCE IN NAME TO A
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"LORD OF THE RINGS" CHARACTER,
WHICH I'M SURE YOU KNOW.
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>> STEPHEN: WELL I ASSUME YOU
MEAN LEGOLAS, ONLY SON OF THE
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ELVENKING THRANDUIL OF MIRKWOOD,
WHO'S NAME IS A SILVAN DIALECT
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FORM OF THE SINDARIN ELVISH
"LAEGOLAS," MEANING "GREEN
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LEAF."
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UNLESS, OF COURSE, THERE'S A
LORD OF THE RINGS CHARACTER
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NAMED "DENTAL CARE" THAT I'VE
NEVER HEARD OF.
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BUT, IT WAS WRITTEN BY A GUY
FROM ENGLAND, SO I KIND OF DOUBT
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IT.
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( LAUGHTER )
( PIANO RIFF )
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THAT TAKES A LITTLE MOMENT TO
LAND.
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SO, MAKE SURE TO CHECK OUT GREEN
LEAF DENTAL, THE ONLY DENTIST
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WHO CAN TURN THIS... INTO THIS.
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( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
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HE'S READY TO DATE, BUT HE'LL
NEVER GIVE YOU A RING.
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WE ALSO HEARD FROM A RESTAURANT
CALLED "PIZZA GIRLS" IN PALM
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BEACH GARDENS, FLORIDA, WHOSE
OWNERS WROTE US TO SAY, "WE
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AREN'T STRIPPERS, WE'RE PIZZA
GIRLS!
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( LAUGHTER )
WE'VE SPENT 26 YEARS IN THE
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RESTAURANT BIZ AND WE HAVE
AWARD-WINNING PIZZA, BUT NEW
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CUSTOMERS THINK WE'RE
STRIPPERS!"
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WELL, WE WANTED TO HELP GET THIS
IMPORTANT INFORMATION OUT, SO
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PLEASE JOIN ME AT "THE LATE
SHOW'S" PIZZA NEWS CAMERA:
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鈾櫔
鈾櫔
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BREAKING PIZZA NEWS OUT OF PALM
BEACH GARDENS, FLORIDA, WHERE
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LOCAL AUTHORITIES HAVE CONFIRMED
THAT "PIZZA GIRLS" IS, IN FACT,
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A RESTAURANT AND NOT-- I REPEAT
NOT-- A STRIP CLUB.
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RESIDENTS ARE ENCOURAGED TO
VISIT PIZZA GIRLS ONLY IF YOU
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ARE LOOKING FOR DELICIOUS
ITALIAN FOOD IN AN ENVIRONMENT
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WHERE EVERYBODY KEEPS THEIR
CLOTHES ON.
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IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A STRIP
CLUB, AUTHORITIES RECOMMEND
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TRYING PRETTY MUCH ANYWHERE ELSE
IN FLORIDA.
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( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
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THANKS, STEPHEN.
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BUT THERE WAS ONE SMALL BUSINESS
THAT REALLY CAUGHT MY EYE: A
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PLACE IN NEW HOPE, MINNESOTA,
CALLED "REDMON'S POPCORN."
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IT WAS STARTED LAST YEAR BY
ZACHARY REDMON, WHO LOST HIS JOB
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AS A BARBER DURING THE PANDEMIC
AND STARTED SELLING GOURMET
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POPCORN OUT OF THE TRUNK OF HIS
CAR, THEN GOT SUCH A GOOD
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REACTION, HE OPENED HIS OWN
SHOP.
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AND WITH OVER 40 UNIQUE FLAVORS,
ZACHARY REDMON DESCRIBES HIS
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POPCORN LIKE THIS:
>> I'M LIKE A LUXURY VEHICLE OF
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POPCORN.
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>> STEPHEN: WELL, LUXURY VEHICLE
POPCORN DESERVES A LUXURY
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VEHICLE COMMERCIAL.
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JIM?
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>> FOR THOSE WHO ENJOY THE FINER
THINGS -- THE ONES WHO BLAZE
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THEIR OWN TRAILS -- WHEN YOU
DEMAND HIGH PERFORMANCE, ALL
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ROADS LEAD TO NEW HOPE,
MINNESOTA.
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REDMAN'S POPCORN, UNPARALLELED
DESIGN, UNRIVALED COMFORT, AND
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ABLE TO POP FROM ZERO TO 60 IN
2.3 SECONDS.
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IT'S THE ONLY POPCORN TO RECEIVE
J.D. POWER & ASSOCIATES AWARD
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FOR MID-SIZE LUXURY SNACK.
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NOW AVAILABLE IN EXCLUSIVE
FINISHES LIKE BANANA PUDDING,
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CHILLY CHEESE, BUTTER FINGER,
AND FOR THOSE LOOKING TO KICK IT
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UP A GEAR, HOT BARBECUE.
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HOW DOES REDMAN'S GET EVERY BITE
PERFECTLY COATED WITH FLAVOR?
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LET'S JUST SAY THEY GO THE EXTRA
MILE.
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( LAUGHTER )
ONLY REDMAN'S POPCORN IS
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ENGINEERED FOR EXCELLENCE.
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IN FACT, IT'S SO GOOD, I'M
EATING IT RIGHT NOW!
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( SMACKING )
>> I KNOW I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE
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WAITED TILL I FINISHED RECORDING
THIS, BUT, DAMN!
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THIS STUFF IS GOOD!
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鈾櫔
鈾櫔
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FOR CURRENT SALES EVENTS, VISIT
THE DEALERSHIP AT 2738WANETKA
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AVENUE, SWEET 150B.
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REDMAN'S POPCORN, BUCKLE YOUR
TONGUE, BECAUSE YOUR MOUTH IS IN
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FOR THE RIDE OF ITS LIFE.
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鈾櫔
鈾櫔
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( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> REDMAN'S.
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>> Stephen: THANKS TO ZAC
REDMAN AND NICK OFFERMAN!
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GRAB SOME POPCORN AND STICK
AROUND, BECAUSE WE'VE GOT A
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GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT WITH
THE DRAMATIC CONCLUSION OF MY
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INTERVIEW OF THE DIRECTOR OF THE
LANDMARK NEW BEATLES
[593]
DOCUMENTARY, PETER JACKSON.
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BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, I DEBUT
SOME BRAND-NEW HOLIDAY MOVIE
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CLASSICS.
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( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
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