GOP and Fox News Spread an Insane New Lie About Biden Banning Meat: A Closer Look - YouTube

Channel: Late Night with Seth Meyers

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-A Republican senator said
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he was suspicious of the push
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to vaccinate people against COVID-19,
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the House GOP leader is stonewalling the commission
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to investigate the January 6 insurrection at the Capitol,
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and conservatives have come up
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with an insane new lie about Joe Biden --
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he wants to ban meat.
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For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
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鈾櫔
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Perhaps the central theme of our politics, at the moment,
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is that one of our two major political coalitions
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is growing more extreme, more authoritarian,
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more paranoid, and more detached from reality by the day.
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Republicans seem to think Joe Biden's army
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of antifa super soldiers is going to come to your house
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and take your Dr. Seuss books and your hamburgers
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and I'm only slightly exaggerating.
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-Say goodbye to your burgers,
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if you want to sign up for the Biden climate agenda.
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Researchers say you'd have to cut about 90%
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of red meat from your diet.
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For Americans, that means a limit
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of four pounds of red meat per year.
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-Americans would have to cut red meat consumption
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by a whopping 90%.
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That means only one burger a month.
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-Part of his climate, or green, targets are
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to cut our red meat.
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He wants to cut out 90% of the red meat
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that you all eat -- that's four pounds a year.
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-Listen, four pounds a year?
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That's my weekly consumption of red meat, at minimum.
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-No burgers on July 4th.
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No steaks on the barbie.
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I'm sure Middle America is just going to love that.
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Can you grill those Brussels sprouts?
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So get ready.
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You can throw back a plant-based beer
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with your grilled Brussels sprouts
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and wave your American flag.
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-That's right, in Biden's America,
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you'll have to celebrate July 4th
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by drinking a plant-based beer,
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as opposed to, you know, all those meat-based beers.
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Does he think PBR stands for pork and beef ribs?
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Does he think Hamm's is made with real ham?
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I mean, what the hell am I supposed
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to put in my Corona now, a lime wedge?
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What's that?
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It's always been a lime wedge?
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Well, in my America, we drink our Corona
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with a pig in a blanket jammed in the neck.
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So, Larry Kudlow is a dumb person,
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but, hey, at least he's harmless, right?
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I mean, what job did he have in the Trump administration?
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Director of the National Economic Council?
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[Bleep] That's not good.
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Also, it will not surprise you to learn
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this dumb, right-wing conspiracy theory
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is made up entirely out of thin air,
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after the Daily Mail wrote an article
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about a University of Michigan study that had nothing to do
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with Biden's plan or the Green New Deal.
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Nowhere in Biden's plan does it say anything
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about reducing red meat consumption
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and Biden has never uttered such a thing
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and, yet, on cue, Republicans have run wild
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with this dumb and completely baseless lie.
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For example, there was
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Colorado Congresswoman Lauren Boebert,
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whose last name, incidentally, sounds like a Dilbert character
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who wears a "Don't Tread on Me T-shirt.
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[ Laughter ]
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That was way better than I thought it would be.
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[ Laughter ] One more time.
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Oh, yeah, that's good.
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Boebert tweeted...
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And Donald Trump Jr. tweeted...
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Four pounds?
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It's going to be a hard something from you.
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[ Laughter ] Try to get some fiber in there, DJ.
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Jesus!
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No wonder this weirdo always has the sweaty,
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bloated vibe of Joey Chestnut
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at the end of a hot dog eating contest.
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Also, back to Boebert's comments.
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Don't think you're the first person who told Joe Biden
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to stay out of their kitchen.
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Definitely strikes me as the kind of grandpa
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who's always sneaking in and sticking his finger
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in the cake batter before it goes in the oven.
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"Joe, I told you to stay out of my kitchen."
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[ As Biden ] My hands are clean.
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"That's only one hand, Joe."
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[ As Biden ] I'm going to show you the other one.
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But you need to know there's chocolate on it
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from earlier today.
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Anyway, the point is, this is what they're focused on,
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dumb lies with no basis in reality.
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Over the weekend, former House Speaker Newt Gingrich
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claimed Biden was attacking Americans
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with so-called traditional values
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by repealing a policy imposed
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by former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo
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that banned diplomats from flying gay pride flags
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outside U.S. embassies.
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-If you listed every idiotic thing
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that the Obama administration has done
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in the first 100 days,
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you begin to realize whether it's threatening everybody
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who believes in the Second Amendment
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or it's attacking everybody who believes in right to life
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or it is attacking people of traditional values
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who are appalled that this administration would fly
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the gay flag at American embassies all over the world.
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I mean, you just go down, item by item,
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and it's almost like they have a checklist
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of, "What can we do that will really,
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truly infuriate traditional Americans?"
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-Yeah, totally, the same so-called traditional Americans
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who supported the thrice-married adulterer
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who had an affair with a porn star
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and thought the Bible was
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about two dudes named Corinthian.
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Also, you know, maybe the dude who had multiple affairs,
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including one that led to his resignation
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as speaker of the House, should hold his tongue,
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when it comes to so-called traditional values.
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And why are the gross, adulterous creeps
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always the ones lamenting
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the decline of traditional values, anyway?
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Is it because, when they say traditional,
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what they actually mean are
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the days when you'd go to your office,
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call all the women sweetheart,
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drink a half gallon of gin with your two-hour lunch,
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then leave at 4:00 and your wife would have dinner ready for you,
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you'd put on your sweater
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and sit by the fire reading the newspaper,
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while the kids whose birthdays you don't know did the chores,
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and then, you'd head back out
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to get spanked on the ass with a Forbes magazine
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in a hotel by a porn star?
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[ Laughing ] Remember that story?
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Talk about red meat.
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Yowza!
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[ Laughter ] Also, I wish
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the Biden administration had a checklist like that.
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If you're some ass[bleep] who's genuinely mad
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that an American embassy somewhere
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is flying a gay pride flag,
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then you deserve to be infuriated.
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[ As Gingrich ] Honey, bad news.
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We got to cancel the trip to Iceland.
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They're flying the gay pride flag at the embassy in Reykjavik
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and they won't let me take my gun on the glacier tour,
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which is all well and good,
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until we encounter a threatening gnome.
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[ Irish accent ] Give me your wallet and all your fermented whale meat.
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That's right, I'm from Ireland.
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[ Laughter ]
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A lot of us are.
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[ Laughter ]
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I'm here on a visa.
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[ Laughter ]
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These people are so deeply detached from reality,
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they think the biggest problems facing America right now,
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amid a once-in-a-century pandemic,
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economic crash, rising poverty, and child hunger
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are embassies flying gay pride flags
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and totally fictional meat bans.
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What's next, is antifa going to force you
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to take the COVID vaccine
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so Bill Gates can inject you with a chip
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that tracks how many hamburgers you eat?
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Again, I'm only barely exaggerating
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because, last week, Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson
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went on an insane and dangerous rant
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where he suggested there was some sort of vague conspiracy
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going on with all the emphasis on vaccines.
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Those are pretty suspicious things
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you made up inside your weird head.
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But, yeah, if you have your COVID shot,
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why do you care if your neighbor gets it?
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And another thing, if you have your rabies shot,
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why do you care if I fill your bathtub with daytime raccoons?
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But, despite furious pushback from sane people,
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Ron John doubled down in a statement, saying...
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But that's not what you're doing.
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Instead, you're one of these cynical
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"Just asking questions" guys.
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The guys who merely insinuate deranged lies,
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in order to feed rabid conspiracy theories
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to your paranoid base and score political points,
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but do it in the most cowardly way,
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by "just asking questions."
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It's called the Tucker Carlson maneuver.
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Soon, you'll start squinting like you're trying to solve
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the jumble on the back of a cereal box
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and laughing uncontrollably at inappropriate moments,
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like you just got released from Arkham Asylum.
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-I'm kind of more worried about the rest of the country,
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which, thanks to police inaction,
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in case you haven't noticed, is like boarded up.
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[ Laughs ] So, that's more my concern.
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In other words, you're being replaced
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and there's nothing you can do about it, so shut up!
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[ Laughs ]
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-I'm not going to even make fun of that laugh
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because I'm worried, if I do, the next time I hear it will be
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through a muffled pillow being pressed down on my face.
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Anyway, the point is, if you were genuinely trying
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to inform people, you'd tell them
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about the detailed safety and efficacy data
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from both the trials and the real-world studies,
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which show that the vaccines work incredibly well
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and are incredibly safe.
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We also keep getting new data, telling us
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that the new vaccines cut down on transmission, too.
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So, yes, your neighbors should get it,
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both for their own health
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and so they don't spread it to someone else.
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Also, young and healthy people are getting sicker
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and going to hospitals in higher numbers,
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especially in states with high case numbers, like Michigan.
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And, lastly, we want as many people as possible
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to get vaccinated, so the virus isn't constantly circulating
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at high levels and we can get back
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to some semblance of normal, without having to worry
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about cases, hospitalizations, and deaths going back up.
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I shouldn't have to explain all this to you.
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I'm just a late night talk show host.
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What little science I know,
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I have cobbled together from "Jurassic Park" movies,
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Snapple caps, and previous "Closer Looks."
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You know how little attention I paid in science class?
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I thought the periodic table is something you bought
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at Pottery Barn.
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[ Rimshot ]
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Yes. Thank you, Fred.
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Finally, a perfectly timed rimshot.
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[ Rimshot ]
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Yep, we just --
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We just only need the one, buddy.
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[ Rimshot ]
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Fred, seriously, just no more room shots.
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I mean, what am I,
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a proctologist?
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Okay, well, that --
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We definitely need one there.
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[ Rimshot ] Just --
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[ Laughter ]
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[ Exhales ]
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Anyway, Ron Johnson is the same guy who suggested
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it was actually fake Trump supporters
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who stormed the Capitol on January 6th,
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a lie that has ricocheted around right-wing media.
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In fact, on Sunday,
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House GOP leader Kevin McCarthy said
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he wants any commission investigating the insurrection
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to also look at antifa and Black Lives Matter.
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-For the last year, we've had political violence
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across this country and in this city.
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I think we should look at all of that.
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-Why not confine this committee --
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it's a big deal -- to what happened on January 6,
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when you had this insurrection at the Capitol?
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-You had an insurrection in the Capitol.
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You've had political violence
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for the last year, in this building.
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You had, a Good Friday, an officer killed
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for political belief, right on that Capitol as well.
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If you're now going to put a commission together,
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why wouldn't you look at all the problems to solve --
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-Oh, you want a commission to look at all the problems?
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Then, while we're at it,
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can we have the commission investigate this?
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-I want you to watch Nancy Pelosi
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hand me that gavel.
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[ Cheering, whistling, and applause ]
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And I promise you this --
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I won't bang her with it,
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but I'll bang the end to the socialism, and yes to America.
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-That is one of the weirdest sentences I've ever heard,
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and I work near Times Square.
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Do you know how often
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I've had German tourists come up to me and ask...?
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[ German accent ] Can you tell where's the headquarters
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of ze little chocolate candy man?
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"Sorry, you mean the M&M's store?"
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[ German accent ] Ja. We want to meet the sexy one.
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[ Laughter ]
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[ Irish accent ] I wouldn't mind, either. I'm from Iceland.
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[ Laughter ]
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Do you mind giving me a w-w-wee bit of directions?
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[ Laughter ]
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You can't just take a commission about an insurrection,
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a very specific and horrifying event
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in the history of this country, and make it
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about whatever you want,
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just to score dumb political points with your base.
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When Republicans spent a year investigating Benghazi,
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Democrats weren't like, "Hey, while we're at it,
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could we also investigate what Harrison Ford's been smoking?"
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Whatever that strain is, let's legalize that [bleep] now.
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It's like my man went to Union Station
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to catch a train and only then found out
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they were hosting the Oscars.
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"Hey, since you're here,
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you want to give one out for editing?"
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[ As Ford ] Sure, I do carry around these
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"Blade Runner" editing notes.
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[ Laughter ] And there's a lot more we need to find out
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about what, exactly, happened on that day,
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which is why we need a commission
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singularly focused on the insurrection.
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For example, one of the few Republican members of Congress
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who voted to impeach Trump has said that McCarthy told her
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about a conversation he had with Trump
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in the middle of the riot,
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in which Trump seemed to justify the insurrection.
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-This is actually part of the
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impeachment record, the second impeachment.
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This was read into the record there...
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-I mean, I suppose that's true, but it's a little like saying,
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"Well, I guess these zombies
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enjoy eating brains more than you do."
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So, clearly, Trump supported the attack,
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as if we needed any more evidence.
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He would've been perfectly happy,
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if the mob had successfully taken over the Capitol,
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stopped the counting of electoral votes,
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and allowed him to overturn the results.
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Saying Trump didn't know anything about it
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is like saying Glenn Close
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doesn't know how to do Da Butt.
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Second Oscars joke.
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Look, we follow the buzz, okay?
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That's what people are talking about,
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so that's what we write jokes about.
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No more "M-A-S-H" references.
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No more jokes about Vince Vaughn-Owen Wilson
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buddy comedies from 20 years ago.
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From now on, it is all fresh,
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topical, pop culture references here at "Late Night."
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Anyway, McCarthy was asked if that account
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of his conversation with Trump was accurate
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and McCarthy refused to say.
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-Is that what President Trump said to you?
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-When I talked to President Trump about it,
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I was the first person to contact him
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when the riot was going on. He didn't see it.
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What he ended the call was saying, telling me,
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he'll put something out to make sure to stop this.
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And that's what he did, he put a video out later.
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-Quite a lot later.
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And it was a pretty weak video.
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But I'm asking you specifically, did he say to you,
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"I guess some people are more concerned
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about the election than you are?"
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-No, listen, my conversations with the president
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are my conversations with the president.
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-Wow, he avoided that question
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like he was Vince Vaughn in "Dodgeball."
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[ As Vaughn ] Buddy, buddy, buddy, you're killing me, here.
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I would never divulge a private conversation.
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I'm a discreet guy.
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You know that about me.
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Do I gossip occasionally? Sure.
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Would I let a secret slip, here and there,
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in return for a favor? Who wouldn't?
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But I tell you, I would never
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tell someone else what you told me in confidence.
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Not now, not ever.
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[ As Wilson ] Alright. Wow, man. Right on.
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[ Laughter ] Owen Wilson wasn't in "Dodgeball,"
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but, I mean, he should've been, right?
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So I lied, when I said
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[ Laughter ] our references, from now on, would be fresh.
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Much like Kevin McCarthy lied in that answer.
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Segue!
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Because, first of all, [ Laughter ]
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there's no way Trump didn't know what was going on
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until McCarthy called him.
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We have contemporaneous accounts telling us
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Trump was watching it all unfold on TV
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and gleefully egging it on and, even if we didn't
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have those accounts, we'd still know
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that Trump was aware of the insurrection as it was happening
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because he's always watching TV.
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Honestly, I'm not sure why it never occurred to us,
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but we could've avoided his presidency
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by just planting him in front of the wall of TVs
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at Circuit City for four years.
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[ As Trump ] Circuit City, folks. They love us there.
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Won it in a landslide.
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Sadly, it wasn't enough
[884]
to overcome all the fraudulent votes
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from The Wiz.
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That's why nobody beats them, folks.
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[ Laughter ] It's all a fraud.
[890]
But what a slogan. What a slogan.
[892]
We used to have the best slogans, didn't we, folks?
[894]
What happened to all our beautiful slogans?
[897]
Got to go to Mos, Mos Def, Def Comedy Jam.
[899]
[ Laughter ] Jam!
[901]
We love jam, don't we, folks?
[902]
Smucker's [ Laughter ]
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sounds dirty. Not. Not dirty.
[907]
"With a name like Smucker's, it's got to be good."
[910]
[ Laughter ]
[911]
That's what they say. It's true.
[913]
But you can't buy it anymore. That's what I hear.
[916]
They canceled Smucker's.
[918]
[ Laughter ] I haven't been to a store in years.
[920]
I don't know if that's true, but.
[921]
[ Laughter ]
[923]
Also, Trump didn't put a video out to stop anything.
[926]
He told the rioters, "We love you.
[928]
You're very special."
[929]
One of those weird,
[931]
outdoor videos of his on the White House lawn,
[933]
where he looks like he's filming a YouTube tutorial
[936]
on how to properly trim your hedges.
[938]
This is one of the central themes
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of our politics, at the moment. The Republican Party
[941]
is an increasingly paranoid, authoritarian movement,
[944]
defending a president who incited an insurrection
[947]
and spreading unhinged lies about everything
[949]
from life-saving vaccines to imaginary bans on red meat.
[951]
I mean, it's almost like all these guys are drunk on...
[953]
-Plant-based beer.
[955]
-This has been "A Closer Look."
[957]
鈾櫔
[960]
God's Love We Deliver cooks and brings
[962]
over two million meals a year
[963]
to men, women, and children living with HIV/AIDS,
[966]
cancer, and other serious illnesses
[967]
and they need your help, now, more than ever.
[969]
If you're watching this online, you can hit the Donate button.
[971]
Stay safe. Wear a mask.
[973]
Get vaccinated. We love you.