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Today鈥檚 Takeaway: The Erosion Of Interpersonal Skills - YouTube
Channel: Dr. Phil
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The problem is you heard me say today
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there's a huge difference
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between human doing and human being.
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And think about that.
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Human doing is you can be an activist,
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you can send messages,
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you can raise awareness.
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That's human doing, but how are you at human being,
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at being a human?
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Your interpersonal interaction skills,
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not tweeting, but making eye contact.
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And when you're with somebody that you're friends with
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do an experiment.
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Just stand in front of them,
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you can even do it six feet away,
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keep your social distancing during the pandemic
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and make eye contact
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without saying a word
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and without looking away for 20 seconds
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and see how comfortable or uncomfortable it feels.
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Are you staring at 'em like a dead trout
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or are you actually looking at them?
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Does it feel like one of those pregnant pauses?
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I mean, how does it look?
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How does it feel?
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So, you know, think about all of that
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because interpersonal skills are sliding
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and certain things like spelling and grammar are decaying
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because we abbreviate everything
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and we don't write in full sentences.
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Everything is shorthand and abbreviations
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and those skills really decay.
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And I know my handwriting,
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I used to have to fill out,
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like sometimes 50 or 60 hospital records in a day
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or every other day.
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And that's why you wonder
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why doctors have such bad bad handwriting.
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It's just like scribble this as fast as you can,
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scribble that as fast as you can in the record.
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And so it just decays from lack of use.
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So our interpersonal skills can really erode
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when everything is electronic, email
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Twitter, voicemail, things like that.
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So, but I thought we had really good examples
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of people that are using this for good.
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And, but you notice every one of them
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said I'm being consumed and overwhelmed by it.
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How many of you think you spend
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more than five hours a day plugged into a device
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some way or another?
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Raise your hand.
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Wow.
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That's almost everybody.
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Think about that, five hours a day.
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How many think eight hours a day?
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You're on your phone, on your laptop, on a device?
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Yeah, that's probably half.
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So yeah,
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and that's time that you're not spending
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hanging with human beings.
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And so you got to wonder
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if your interpersonal skills are eroding.
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You really have to think about that
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when you get involved in something like that,
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you got to compartmentalize it.
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I have to do that with what I do.
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If I took all of these stories home every day
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the weight of it all would just crush you.
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You deal with someone
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that's been molested, raped, their son has been killed,
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their daughter is missing or whatever,
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you have to develop the ability to compartmentalize.
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So you have a chance to go out and play tennis
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or softball or go swimming or watch some crazy sit-com
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or something and let the pressure off.
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So, you know, ask yourself
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what would you do if all your devices
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got locked in a room for 30 days
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and you couldn't touch them?
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Would you have withdrawals?
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Would you get nervous?
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Would you get anxious?
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A lot of people would.
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And that's why they're actually considering
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in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual
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putting in a diagnosis for addiction to the internet
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or addiction to devices,
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because some people are so consumed
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and their self worth is impacted
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by how they think they're being received by strangers.
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How many likes they get or followers they get or whatever
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by people you don't know.
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