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Tide CEO: You Gotta Stop Eating Tide Pods | CH Shorts - YouTube
Channel: CollegeHumor
[3]
- Hi, America, my name's David Taylor.
[5]
I'm the CEO of the
company that makes Tide,
[8]
and it's corollary product Tide Pods,
[10]
which is what I wanna
talk to you about today.
[12]
Ya gotta stop eating the Tide Pods, okay?
[16]
Look, I get it, you guys
are young, you're hip.
[19]
You don't want an old guy
telling you what to do.
[21]
But Tide Pods are soap,
and that's not food.
[24]
So please, stop eating the Tide Pods.
[27]
And make sure to keep an eye
out for Cascade Dish Pops,
[30]
the lollipop that cleans your dishes.
[32]
That lolli... uh, could we
stop, could we, sorry...
[36]
Are we calling it a lollipop?
[39]
I'd love to see one, if
I could, just get it.
[41]
If we could fly one in?
[48]
(laughs)
[48]
Our company has been
innovating new products
[50]
since it was founded, and
we're proud to continue
[53]
that tradition with our Vicks VapoRub
[55]
Winter Blast gum-flavored bon bons.
[63]
Do, do these look just like
mints, like diner mints?
[68]
I'm lookin' at it, and man
that looks like a mint to me.
[71]
I mean, am I crazy?
[76]
- What do you mean the same as Tide Pods?
[77]
I also don't understand, now
that we're talking about it,
[79]
what does "gum-flavored"
mean in this context?
[82]
Bubble gum flavored?
[83]
Gum tastes like anything.
[88]
We're gonna get our fucking
ass handed to us in court.
[95]
You're not rolling on this, are you?
[97]
Forget dryer sheets, with
Gain brand dryer powder,
[100]
you simply pour the powder into the mixer,
[103]
you take your dryer
stick right here, and...
[105]
This is cotton candy.
[107]
Am I the asshole?
[108]
Like, how do you not get...
[110]
We, can we just cut?
[111]
Can you cut the camera real quick?
[115]
I, I'm trying to understand
right now how this happened.
[118]
I've been busting my ass on
this fucking Tide Pods fiasco,
[121]
and I turn my back for three seconds,
[123]
and now our entire line of products
[125]
is shaped like fucking candy.
[127]
And I'm trying to understand
how this happened.
[129]
Why are you crying?
[130]
With Tampax push-cicles,
you get to choose between
[133]
chilly cherry, frosty fruit
punch, or ice cold cranberry.
[136]
We, okay, not only should
none of these be flavored,
[140]
because why would you flavor them?
[143]
This is the coldest thing I've ever held.
[146]
And, as in everything else today,
[149]
people will try to eat these!
[151]
Even if they're not poisonous,
[152]
we don't want people
eating fucking tampons.
[156]
- Why are they poisonous?
[159]
You'll go cuckoo for cleanliness
[160]
with our cocoa butter
premium Pampers brand choc...
[163]
So the kids eat shit.
[166]
Right?
[167]
That's what this is,
the kids, they eat shit.
[169]
It's chocolate, diaper, poop.
[172]
Let's see here, ope, there it is.
[175]
Is it chocolate?
[176]
Is it poop?
[176]
Do we care?
[177]
Does anyone care?
[178]
Who knows?
[179]
Who gives a fuck, right?
[180]
I'm not gonna do this product,
so we'll be moving on.
[183]
Jesus Christ, okay.
[185]
Try Crest brand dinner paste,
for the hungry consumer
[189]
on the go, throw a fluoride-filed
meal bag in your gullet?
[196]
Oh, fuck.
[202]
So we do make food.
[204]
So we do now make food.
[207]
Meal bag.
[211]
- I'll kill you.
[212]
It doesn't matter if we make the day,
[214]
because none of this is gonna be usable,
[216]
do you understand?
[218]
That's a hamburger.
[221]
- That's a razor?
[222]
That's a Gillette razor?
[225]
Bring me shaving cream right now.
[227]
And if it doesn't shave
my face, it's your ass.
[230]
You get that, right?
[231]
Here we go.
[238]
Oh my God.
[240]
That is a killer shave.
[241]
That is like baby's bottom smooth.
[245]
The other stuff, I don't know about,
[247]
but this is, the hamburger
is working for me.
[252]
- Hi, it's Mike Trapp from College Humor.
[253]
Click here to subscribe.
[254]
Click here for more fun things.
[256]
And send help to keep me from sinking.
[258]
Please, please help.
[260]
Please help.
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