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The President Takes on Tax Day - The President Show - Comedy Central - YouTube
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[1]
(electronic music)
[3]
- Hi, honey!
[5]
Ugly, God.
[7]
DC.
[8]
Should be called
Desperate Clams.
[11]
That's what DC is.
[13]
I mean, not a hot
one in the bunch.
[14]
You gotta go all the way to
Annapolis to find any puss.
[18]
- [Protestors] Hey, hey, ho, ho.
[19]
Donald Trump has got to go.
[20]
Hey, hey, ho, ho!
[22]
- This is way too much
traffic, way more than normal.
[24]
These people wandering
around, yelling,
[26]
"No tax, tax this, tax that."
[29]
I thought we already did this?
[30]
What's everyone still
complaining about?
[33]
- [Donald] So many hippies.
[35]
Hey!
[36]
Excuse me, you old
hippie, you're wrong.
[39]
You're totally wrong, and
you're totally self-involved.
[43]
This is perfect.
[44]
Stop the car.
[46]
- Unbelievable.
[47]
Look at these guys.
[49]
Where's your husbands,
where's your husbands?
[51]
You shouldn't be free.
[53]
It's the weekend,
it's laundry time.
[55]
It's laundry time.
[56]
(protestors chanting)
[61]
- Knock off the
secrecy, Mr. President,
[65]
and publicly release
your own tax return.
[69]
- [All] Knock it
off, knock it off.
[74]
- You don't know what
I'm gonna release,
[76]
but it's gonna be a full
release when I do it.
[78]
Haven't you ever been
to a massage parlor?
[81]
- We are here to say today,
show us the damn tax returns.
[86]
(audience cheering)
[88]
- What a wonderful little girl.
[89]
You wanna take a
picture with me?
[93]
- Let's just do it and
then be done, okay?
[96]
- We are fed up, we're
fed up with billionaires
[99]
bragging that they pay
next to nothing in taxes.
[103]
(audience cheering)
[105]
Well today, across the country,
[107]
Americans are calling bullshit.
[110]
(audience cheering)
[114]
- [Donald] Typical
self-involved protestor.
[116]
I don't like them.
[119]
We need to get rid
of these people.
[121]
- Next, I have the
honor of introducing
[123]
a warrior progressive
[124]
who fights daily
for an America where
[126]
we have an equal say.
[127]
An advocate on the
front line in Congress
[129]
to stop Trump's
dangerous agenda.
[130]
- Excuse me.
[132]
Hey!
[133]
Excuse me!
[134]
You idiot.
[135]
I'm here everybody.
[137]
(crowd roars)
[142]
Thank you so much.
[143]
Thank you so much.
[146]
So many wonderful people.
[148]
Such a large crowd.
[150]
And it's so great.
[151]
It's so great.
[152]
And so many of you support me.
[154]
And you're here to see me.
[157]
And I'm so pleased.
[158]
(crowd boos)
[159]
Is the wind dying down now?
[162]
What's the big deal about
releasing my tax returns?
[165]
First off, I claimed
Ivanka as three dependents.
[170]
My daughter, my
mother, and my wife.
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So what.
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I owe 50 million dollars
to Deutsche Bank.
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Who cares?
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Who cares?
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That's publicly known.
[183]
But what you don't
know is I know where
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all the Nazi gold is hidden.
[187]
(inaudible)
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I have it.
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I have it.
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I have it.
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I have it.
[193]
I have it.
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Just because I have
dirty ties to Azerbaijan,
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I have so many ties Azerbaijan.
[200]
I have ties to Russia.
[202]
But what you don't
know in my tax returns
[204]
is I have the original, uncut,
[206]
David Hasselhoff video
of him eating a burger
[209]
off the floor.
[210]
Remember that?
[212]
Remember that?
[214]
So if we want to
release the tax returns,
[216]
we can do it.
[217]
Boys, let's get the taxes.
[218]
Where are they?
[220]
Aren't you glad I'm not
in Mar a Lago today?
[225]
So we have these taxes,
[226]
and we're going to release them.
[228]
And I want you to know
[229]
that everyone can
look at them now.
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And we're all equal, right?
[234]
So let's release them boys!
[235]
Release the taxes.
[237]
There we go.
[239]
There we go.
[240]
Releasing the taxes.
[242]
I told Jerry to shred my taxes,
[246]
but I thought 'shred'
was Yiddish for collate.
[251]
We're going to make
America great again, folks.
[255]
Thank you so much!
[256]
- [Crowd] Lock him up!
[258]
Lock him up!
[260]
(bombastic symphonic music)
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