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Financial Infidelity More Damaging Than Affair? | The View - YouTube
Channel: The View
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[Applause]
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one of the um biggest factors that can
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make or break a relationship is money
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money can kill a relationship if it's
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not dealt with correctly a recent survey
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in the united states u.s news and world
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report found that 30 percent of couples
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say they've experienced and these are
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the ones who say it they've experienced
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so-called financial infidelity where
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their partner has lied to them about
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secret purchases hidden debts or how
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much they make
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oh
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i have my own money so we don't have any
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secrets from each other seriously
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i have my own money
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my first marriage was a mess we used to
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have debt we had credit card debt yeah
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oh it was a horror and of course plenty
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of fights and uh and a low sex drive
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it affects everything
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yeah it does but how do you have your
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own money when when
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you're living together and everything is
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together
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well everything is not together i pay
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for certain things he pays for other
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things and then you can actually do the
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same thing we have a shared
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card for all household and children and
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that you know anything we do together as
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a family then we keep them on the side
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because since i was pretty young going
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through my 20s i remember i i didn't
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make a lot i remember investing my first
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paper out check and saying i wanted to
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save because everything i wanted to do
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wasn't going to be very lucrative and i
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wanted my money and i didn't want to
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think about what anyone else was doing
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with it and i had someone give me the
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advice they say always keep some for
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yourself because then you don't have to
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concern yourself
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with what your partner is spending and
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max is grateful for that because i don't
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spend is i'm a saver i'm my dad's
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daughter i keep my money and he will
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spend a little more loosely and freely
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and i'm like well what's that what's
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that i don't have to do that because you
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get married later in life right how old
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were you when you got married 37 37 no
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but you didn't you got married later
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well the first one was 22 22 but your
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second marriage you got married later
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because i think i think women are are
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like 100 years later
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you know
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manny and i built our our uh finances
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together right we got married a little
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bit younger and so our i think our
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thoughts about the finances are a little
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different because we feel that uh it's
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just sort of one big pool but but i will
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say um i don't like being questioned
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about money you know your husband yeah i
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don't want to be asked how much this is
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or how much that is about make money
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what if you didn't work and he was the
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only br i don't know what your situation
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is if you don't work and your husband is
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the breadwinner then you're in a
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different position right
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we're very similar to sarah we basically
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have joint savings joint checking but
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then we have our separate
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spending accounts and i think it's smart
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if my husband wants to go you know on a
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golf trip to pinehurst i don't want to
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think about how much she's going to
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spend i don't need to know that coming
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here will announce in both accounts you
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put your own money roughly i kind of we
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put if
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for the family i'd say we're kind of a
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hybrid of youtube i i will say i'm
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notorious for my online purchases come
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to the door and i shuffle over get them
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and hide them from my husband because he
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does not need to know like how often i'm
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online shopping for things like i check
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every big expense i'm like
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max there's a box uh what is this from
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he's like are you gonna do that in every
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box you know what that sounds like
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financial uh infinity war
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i hide purchases
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you know
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you're doing so i know that you said
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i hide um uh poultry purchases
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live poultry correct where do you hide
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your chickens i i hide i hide chicken in
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the closet um in the laundry room
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what do you mean live chickens yeah or
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dead chickens live chickens
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when they're dead they're high
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i i recently hid um a coupe renovation i
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remember your flooring you put on there
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i have a very large coop now
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whoa is that a bar has your husband
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noticed it
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he knows it now
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i i uh i do that yeah
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i never heard of anyone hiding i will
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say i mean that's a no why transparency
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is key though i think hiding deaths
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would be a huge flag yeah and height and
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also lying to your partner about what
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you make is super weird to me we're very
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honest about what we have but i'm going
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to keep my little bucket and he's going
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to keep his you know my father was a
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gambler i've mentioned this on the show
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before he worked for coca-cola and i
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think pepsi no coke and he
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[Laughter]
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in fact one time i bought pepsi home and
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he had a fit but he gambled money he
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gambled the money we lived in the
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tenement we didn't have a car we'd have
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a house because of his gambling habit
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okay yeah so one time but he but the one
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thing about my father he was smart
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enough to not go to a loan shark
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because then they would have threatened
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to break his legs yeah but what he did
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do was he went to like the household
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finance of these places that lend you
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money but then they would call they
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wouldn't break your legs but they would
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threaten to take your property so one
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time they this is before the godfather
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the this company
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the company calls up my mother
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and they say and i hear my mother say to
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this household finance
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take him leave the
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furniture oh no
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it's like take the take leave the gun
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take the cannoli same idea
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and and and i don't know what happened
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we haven't seen her father
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wow yeah but i mean he was like he was a
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good person but he couldn't the gatling
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addiction gambling is a terrible
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addiction it ruins families it really
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absolutely and now we realize that there
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is such a thing as gamblers anonymous
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that people need to deal with that the
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way they deal with alcoholism because
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it's very it's very very destructive to
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families i know from personal experience
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okay
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okay one time i thought he was having an
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apple seizure of some sort because he
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stopped
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i said what's the matter he was
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listening to the uh to the horses coming
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in at belmont we'll be right back
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