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Trump's Tax Returns Reveal Massive Personal Debts, Tax Liabilities And Staggering Business Losses - YouTube
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>> Stephen: FANTASTIC.
[1]
FANTASTIC TO BE HERE, EVERYBODY.
[3]
WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."
[5]
I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT.
[8]
PUT THE COFFEE DOWN, DON'T WANT
ANYBODY TO GET BURNED.
[13]
WE'VE HAD SOME FUN WITH DONALD
TRUMP OVER THE YEARS.
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WE'VE LAUGHED, WE'VE CRIED,
WE'VE MOSTLY CRIED.
[17]
BUT EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE YOU
GET A TROUBLING REMINDER THAT
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HE'S PRESIDENT.
[20]
LKE THIS WEEKEND WHEN, TO FILL
RUTH BADER GINSBERG'S SEAT ON
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THE SUPREME COURT, TRUMP
NOMINATED FEDERAL JUDGE AND
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IN-HOUSE ATTORNEY AT WESTWORLD,
AMY CONEY BARRETT.
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SENATE REPUBLICANS CELEBRATED BY
HAWKING FUNDRAISING T-SHIRTS
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THAT SAY, "NOTORIOUS A.C.B."
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R.B.G.'S NOT EVEN IN THE GROUND
YET AND YOU'RE STEALING HER
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NICKNAME?
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THAT'S THE MOST GHOULISH MOVE
SINCE 1865 WHEN ANDREW JOHNSON
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CALLED HIMSELF HONEST ANDY.
[42]
"I SHALL NOT PERISH FROM THIS
EARTH."
[47]
A LOT OF VOTERS SEE THIS AS JUST
A NAKED POWER GRAB, BECAUSE
[50]
ACCORDING TO A RECENT
"WASHINGTON POST"-ABC
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NEWS-FROSTED FLAKES POLL, 57% OF
AMERICANS SAY THE SUPREME
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COURT PICK SHOULD BE LEFT TO THE
WINNER OF THE PRESIDENTIAL
[61]
ELECTION.
[62]
THE MAJORITY OF AMERICANS DON'T
WANT TRUMP TO FILL R.B.G.'S SEAT
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RIGHT NOW.
[70]
BUT, IF THE MAJORITY OF
AMERICANS GOT WHAT THEY WANTED
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HILLARY CLINTON WOULD BE
PRESIDENT, JON SNOW WOULD BE ON
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THE IRON THRONE, AND MALLOMARS
WOULD BE AVAILABLE YEAR ROUND.
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COME ON, NABISCO!
[80]
HAVE YOU HEARD OF REFRIGERATED
TRUCKS?
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SEASONAL COOKIE MY ASS!
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FIGHT IT?
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FIGHT IT.
[98]
BUT THERE'S NOT A LOT DEMOCRATS
CAN DO TO STOP BARRETT FROM
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BEING CONFIRMED.
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AS ILLINOIS SENATOR DICK DURBIN
EXHALED THIS WEEKEND:
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>> WE CAN SLOW IT DOWN PERHAPS A
MATTER OF HOURS, MAYBE DAYS AT
[108]
THE MOST, BUT WE CAN'T STOP THE
OUTCOME.
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>> STEPHEN: SENATOR DURBIN IS
RIGHT.
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JUSTICE BARRETT IS INEVITABLE.
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LIKE DEATH AND DONALD TRUMP NOT
PAYING HIS TAXES.
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SPEAKING OF WHICH, LAST NIGHT WE
LEARNED "'THE NEW YORK TIMES'
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OBTAINED DONALD TRUMP'S TAXES
FOR THE LAST 20 YEARS."
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WE GOT THE RETURNS!
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AND TRUMP IS IN SOME DEEP W-2
DOO.
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NOW, "THE NEW YORK TIMES"
WOULDN'T REVEAL THEIR SOURCES,
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BUT WE DO HAVE THIS EXCLUSIVE
LEAKED FOOTAGE OF "TIMES"
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REPORTERS OBTAINING TRUMP'S
RETURNS.
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(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
NOT SURE WHY IT CUTS BACK TO
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ALFRED MOLINA SO LONG THERE AT
THE END.
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HE'S A FINE ACTOR BUT I THINK
WE'RE DONE WHEN HE GETS THE
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TAXES.
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( BLEEP ).
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( LAUGHTER )
( CRUNCHING SOUNDS )
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ONE OF THE BIG HEADLINES IS THAT
IN 2016, THE YEAR HE WON THE
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PRESIDENCY, TRUMP PAID $750 IN
FEDERAL INCOME TAXES.
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( LAUGHTER )
$750?!
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TRUMP PAID STORMY DANIELS
$130,000, AND HE SCREWED THE
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COUNTRY WAY MORE.
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AND 750'S GENEROUS BECAUSE,
TURNS OUT, TRUMP PAID NO INCOME
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TAXES AT ALL IN TEN OF THE
PREVIOUS 15 YEARS.
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PARTLY BECAUSE OF QUESTIONABLE
SO-CALLED BUSINESS EXPENSES,
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INCLUDING MORE THAN $70,000 PAID
TO STYLE HIS HAIR DURING "THE
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APPRENTICE."
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HE SPENT $70,000 ON THAT?
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I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GOING TO SAY
THIS, BUT... HE SHOULD HAVE PAID
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MORE.
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TRUMP FOUND SO MANY LOOPHOLES
THAT IN 2010, HE CLAIMED, AND
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RECEIVED, AN INCOME TAX REFUND
TOTALING $72.9 MILLION.
[231]
I ASSUME WHEN THE GOVERNMENT
SENDS YOU A REFUND THAT BIG, THE
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CHAIRMAN OF THE FED SHOWS UP
WITH A GIANT NOVELTY CHECK.
[237]
AND YOU KNOW HOW TRUMP'S ALWAYS
TALKING ABOUT HOW HE'S UNDER
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AUDIT?
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TURNS OUT, THAT'S BECAUSE THE
I.R.S. ISN'T CERTAIN THAT
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TRUMP'S REFUND WAS, UH, THE
LEGAL.
[250]
AND HE BETTER WIN THIS AUDIT,
BECAUSE IF HE LOSES HE WOULD OWE
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THE I.R.S. TAXES AND PENALTIES
THAT COULD EXCEED $100 MILLION.
[255]
(AS TRUMP)
"HEY, MEXICO, FORGET ABOUT THAT
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WALL.
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JUST PAY FOR MY TAX BILL.
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UNCLE SAM'S GONNA TAKE MY
THUMBS.
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HE'S GONNA TAKE MY THUMBS!"
THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE OL' FAKE
[276]
BILLIONAIRE PRESIDENT WOULDN'T
BE ABLE TO PAY THAT BILL
[277]
BECAUSE TURNS OUT THE
PRESIDENT'S BUSINESSES HAVE
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AMASSED CHRONIC LOSSES THAT HE
AGGRESSIVELY EMPLOYS TO AVOID
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PAYING TAXES.
[285]
IT'S A CLASSIC "PRODUCERS"
SITUATION.
[288]
TRUMP TRIED TO EARN MORE MONEY
WITH A FLOP THAN WITH A HIT.
[292]
ALSO, THERE ARE NAZIS.
[296]
IN FACT, SINCE 2000, TRUMP'S
BELOVED GOLF COURSES HAVE BEEN
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$315.6 MILLION IN THE HOLE.
[304]
SOMEONE NEEDS TO EXPLAIN TO HIM
THAT IN GOLF YOU WANT A LOW
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SCORE, IN GOLF BUSINESS YOU
REALLY DON'T WANT TO FINISH 315
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MILLION UNDER PAR.
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ONE OF THE FEW THINGS THAT
EARNED TRUMP ANY MONEY WAS "THE
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APPRENTICE," WHICH BROUGHT HIM A
TOTAL OF $427 MILLION.
[322]
SO TRUMP MADE MORE MONEY IN
REALITY TV THAN HE DID IN
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REALITY.
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THAT EXPLAINS HIS NEW SERIES
"SO YOU THOUGHT HE WAS A
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MILLIONAIRE."
[333]
NOW, SOME ARE SAYING HIS DIRE
FINANCIAL STRAITS PROVE THAT HE
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ONLY RAN FOR PRESIDENT TO
REANIMATE THE MARKETABILITY OF
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HIS NAME.
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BUT IT'S A CLASSIC BRANDING
STRATEGY.
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>> ADVERTISING IS BASED ON ONE
THING --
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>> DESTROYING DEMOCRACY!
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>> Stephen: IN ADDITION TO
TRUMP'S BUSINESS
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LOSSES, HE IS PERSONALLY
RESPONSIBLE FOR LOANS AND OTHER
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DEBTS TOTALING $421 MILLION.
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TO PUT THAT IN LAYMEN'S TERMS: I
CAN'T.
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IT'S $421 MILLION.
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BUT I WILL SAY THIS: WHEN I
GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE, I OWED
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MY UNIVERSITY
$100, 'CAUSE I LOST A LIBRARY
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BOOK, AND THEY WOULDN'T SEND
ME MY DIPLOMA.
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I HAD TO BORROW IT FROM MY MOM.
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BUT $421 MILLION, NORMALLY YOU
DON'T FIND SOMEONE WHO OWES THAT
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KIND OF MONEY IN THE OVAL
OFFICE.
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YOU FIND THEM WASHED UP ON THE
BANKS OF A RIVER.
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AND TRUMP ONLY LOOKS LIKE HE
WASHED UP ON THE BANKS OF A
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RIVER.
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♪
♪
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♪
>> BLOAT GLOAT SLAM!
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>> STEPHEN: SO, SOMEBODY OUT
THERE, WE DON'T KNOW WHO, HAS
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GOT THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD
BY THE SHORT HAIRS.
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IF HE GETS REELECTED, AIR FORCE
ONE IS GONNA END UP ON
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"PAWNSTARS."
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"BEST I COULD DO IS $2,000.
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IT'S GOT A LOT OF HAMBURGER
STAINS."
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IT'S BAD, IT'S VERY, VERY BAD
FOR A PRESIDENT TO OWE SO MUCH
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MONEY.
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IN FACT, SIGNIFICANT DELINQUENT
DEBT DISQUALIFIES MOST PEOPLE
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FROM OBTAINING A GOVERNMENT
SECURITY CLEARANCE BECAUSE IT'S
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A POINT OF LEVERAGE FOR FOREIGN
ADVERSARIES.
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YOU CAN'T TRUST ANYONE WITH THAT
KIND OF CONFLICT OF INTEREST.
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YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO GO IN FOR
LIVER SURGERY AND FIND OUT YOUR
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DOCTOR OWES A LOT OF MONEY TO
HANNIBAL LECTER.
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"IS THE PATIENT SEDATED?
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GREAT, OPEN THE CHIANTI AND
START SAUTEÉING THE FAVA BEANS."
[440]
NOW, OF COURSE THE PRESIDENT HAD
A RESPONSE TO THESE ALLEGATIONS.
[442]
AND MUCH LIKE THE FINANCES
THEMSELVES, IT DOESN'T EXACTLY
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STAND UP TO SCRUTINY.
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HE TWEETED, "THE FAKE NEWS
MEDIA, JUST LIKE ELECTION TIME
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2016, IS BRINGING UP MY TAXES
AND ALL SORTS OF OTHER NONSENSE
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WITH ILLEGALLY OBTAINED
INFORMATION AND ONLY BAD
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INTENT."
[460]
WAIT.
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IT CAN'T BE BOTH MADE UP AND
ILLEGALLY OBTAINED.
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IT'S A LIKE A HUSBAND SAYING
"I'M NOT SLEEPING WITH YOUR
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SISTER!
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ALSO, WLKING IN ON US WAS A
HUGE VIOLATION OF OUR PRIVACY."
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THIS WEEKEND, JOE BIDEN PICKED
UP A KEY ENDORSEMENT: FORMER
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PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER AND
BUILDING THAT WISHED TO BE A
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REAL BOY, DWAYNE "THE ROCK"
JOHNSON."
[482]
JOHNSON MADE HIS ANNOUNCEMENT IN
A VIDEO ON SUNDAY MORNING.
[487]
>> HAPPY SUNDAY, EVERYBODY.
[488]
WE ARE APPROXIMATELY FIVE WEEKS
AWAY FROM ELECTION DAY.
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ARGUABLY THE MOST CRITICAL
ELECTION OUR COUNTRY HAS SEEN IN
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DECADES.
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>> STEPHEN: POWERFUL WORDS-- I
ASSUME.
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I WASN'T LISTENING BECAUSE I WAS
TOO DISTRACTED BY HOW
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ABSOLUTELY MEAT-BEEFED HE IS!
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GOOD GOD.
[503]
IT'S LIKE SOMEONE STUFFED A
CASHMERE SWEATER FULL OF BOWLING
[506]
BALLS.
[506]
JEFF KOONS CALLED.
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HE WANTS HIS STEEL BALLOON
ANIMAL BACK.
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♪
♪
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♪
>> POP ART SLAM!
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>> STEPHEN: THE ROCK ALSO POSTED
A CLIP FROM A ZOOM CALL HE DID
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WITH BIDEN AND KAMALA HARRIS
WHERE HE HAD A QUESTION FOR
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THEM:
>> HOW WILL THE BOTH OF YOU EARN
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THE
RESPECT OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE
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ONCE YOU'RE IN THE WHITE HOUSE?
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>> BY DOING WHAT WE SAY WE'RE
GONNA DO.
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BY KEEPING OUR WORD
THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE STRONG,
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THEY'RE TOUGH.
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>> STEPHEN: OKAY, ARE YOU JUST
SAYING THAT BECAUSE YOU'RE
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LOOKING AT THE ROCK?
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(AS BIDEN)
"THEY'RE STRONG!
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THEY'RE TOUGH.
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THEY'RE BALD!
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THEY'RE 'JUMANJI,' THEY'RE 'FAST
& FURIOUS,' THEY'RE HOBBES,
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THEY'RE SHAW, THEY'RE 'BALLERS,'
JACK!
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COME ON!"
JOHNSON ALSO HAD KIND WORDS FOR
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BIDEN'S RUNNING MATE:
>> KAMALA, I'M GONNA EMBARRASS
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YOU JUST FOR A LITTLE BIT
BECAUSE I'M GONNA TALK ABOUT
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YOUR-- YOUR AMAZING EXPERIENCE.
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YOU HAVE BEEN AN ATTORNEY, A
DISTRICT ATTORNEY, A STATE
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ATTORNEY, A U.S. SENATOR, SMART,
TOUGH.
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I'VE SEEN YOU IN THOSE HEARINGS
AND, UM, IN MY OPINION, YOU ARE
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A CERTIFIED BADASS.
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>> STEPHEN: WOW, THAT IS HIGH
PRAISE.
[577]
THE ROCK CERTIFYING YOU A BADASS
IS LIKE TRUMP CERTIFYING YOU AS
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HAVING A BAD AS.
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(AS TRUMP)
"VERY DUMPY.
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VERY DIMPLY.
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NICE PUDDIN' PANTS.
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YOU COULD REALLY PUNISH THE
PORCELAIN WITH THAT TERRIBLE
[593]
TUSH."
[595]
NOW, THIS ENDORSEMENT COULD GIVE
BIDEN AN EDGE IN SWING STATES
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LIKE NORTH CAROLINA, WHERE THE
PRESIDENTIAL RACE IS TIGHT.
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ALTHOUGH NOT NEARLY AS TIGHT AS
THE ROCK'S SWEATER!
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I MEAN, COME ON!
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IT'S LIKE A PILE OF CANTALOUPES
SQUEEZED INTO A ONESIE FROM THE
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BABY GAP!
[609]
IT'S TOO BAD FOR TRUMP THAT HE
DIDN'T LOCK DOWN THE "FAST &
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FURIOUS" VOTE, BECAUSE ACCORDING
TO A BRAND NEW "WASHINGTON
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POST"-ABC NEWS-E.L. FUDGE POLL,
NATIONALLY, BIDEN HOLDS A
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COMMANDING TEN POINT LEAD.
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BUT REMEMBER, THAT'S WITH A
MARGIN OF ERROR OF PLUS OR MINUS
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ONE ELECTORAL COLLEGE.
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AND WEIRDLY, MEN HAVE NOT HAD
MUCH CHANGE OF HEART FROM FOUR
[629]
YEARS AGO, BECAUSE "TRUMP'S LEAD
AMONG MEN IS ABOUT THE SAME AS
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HIS MARGIN OVER HILLARY CLINTON
IN 2016."
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COME ON, MY MANS!
[638]
YOU'RE CLINGING TO TRUMP LIKE A
WORN OUT PAIR OF BRIEFS.
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LET HIM GO, HE'S NOTHING BUT
LOOSE WAISTBAND AND SKID MARKS,
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AND HE'S MAKING THE WOMEN IN
YOUR LIFE LOSE SEXUAL INTEREST!
[649]
SPEAKING OF WOMEN LOSING
INTEREST, "WHITE WOMEN-- A GROUP
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THAT TRUMP WON BY NINE POINTS
BACK IN 2016, NOW FAVOR BIDEN BY
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A 15 POINT MARGIN."
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WOW, THAT'S A 24-POINT SWING.
[660]
AND THE FIRST TIME TRUMP HAS
MADE THAT MANY WOMEN GO AWAY
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WITHOUT HAVING TO PAY THEM.
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♪
♪
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>> STORMY SLAMIELS!
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>> STEPHEN: WE'VE GOT A GREAT
SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
[675]
MARIAH CAREY IS HERE.
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BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, I'LL
PREVIEW TOMORROW'S DEBATE.
[678]
♪
♪
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