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Feds Arrest “The Crocodile of Wall Street” for Laundering Billions in Bitcoin | The Daily Show - YouTube
Channel: The Daily Show with Trevor Noah
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bitcoin the only money that doesn't have
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slave holders on it
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one of the advantages of cryptocurrency
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was supposed to be how it was secure
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from theft
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and i would explain why but instead just
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ask that one dude at the next party you
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go to he'll be very happy to go into
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great detail
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but despite the super security of crypto
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they have unfortunately been some major
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crypto heists over the years and the
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same technology that makes it hard to
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steal
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also makes the perpetrators extremely
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hard to catch hard
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but not impossible this morning the
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justice department announcing the
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largest single seizure of funds in the
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department's history investigators say
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hackers broke into an online currency
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exchange back in 2016. stealing 120 000
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bitcoin which at the time was worth 71
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million dollars but today it's worth a
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staggering 4.5 billion ilya
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lichtsenstein and his wife heather
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morgan are charged with laundering
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bitcoin tied to the hack using thousands
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of small transactions and accounts set
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up with fake ids
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holy four and a half billion
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dollars
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in stolen bitcoin
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this is huge
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you realize you realize there's 330
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million people in the united states and
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that's 4.5 billion dollars
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so that means you could give each person
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in the u.s
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10
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[Music]
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if you
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fi
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you could give everyone some money
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and by the way you might think that
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everyone who uses bitcoin would be happy
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that the police were able to track down
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the stolen crypto but it turns out no it
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turns out a lot of the crypto community
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actually took this as bad news because
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cryptocurrency is supposed to be
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anonymous and if the fbi can trace
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bitcoin to someone who might have stolen
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it
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wants to stop them from tracking
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innocent people who are just using
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bitcoin to buy heroin and automatic
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weapons this is scary stuff
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but where some people see a problem
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i like to see opportunities
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which is why my friends
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i've created a new form of currency that
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is totally anonymous and completely
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untraceable and it comes
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with just a little bit
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of cocaine on it
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so if you're interested
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i'm going to be selling these on my
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website for 50 each
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i think it's a steal
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now you're probably wondering who are
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the criminal geniuses who are part of
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one of the biggest financial crimes in
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history well you know when they say you
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should never meet your heroes
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yeah this is why lichson sign a u.s and
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russian citizen is described in a
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profile online as a tech entrepreneur
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and according to morgan social media
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profiles she's a serial entrepreneur and
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a part-time rapper in one of her songs
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morgan calls herself the infamous
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crocodile of wall street i'm many things
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a rapper an economist a journalist a
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writer a ceo
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i know what you're thinking the bitcoin
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crimes are nothing compared to calling
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this rap
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what was that a rapper an economist a j
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yo rap is not just like saying wha
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what is that
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and also even if you are a rapper you
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know it's never a good sign for your rap
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career when you're listing all your
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other jobs in a song you're just a
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rapper this person's running around like
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yo yo yo this definitely doesn't pay the
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bills i have to do a bunch of other
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things because as you can tell no one
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would pay for this
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and this wasn't a once-off crime by the
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way the rap video not not the money
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this woman it turns out has been
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spitting wet fire everywhere that she's
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been given a chance hodo
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what i gotta do yodo our mission is
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noble yeah i wanna be a mogo
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my attendee's going global building
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empire comes down to noble you mean
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istanbul
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get icy like froyo all gotta stay vocal
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bitcoin aetherium hodol
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amc gamestop yolo
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please jesus i beg you no more
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like
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what is she which rap is she listening
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to that she thought that was a reference
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for rap that's what i want to know
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like where was she listening to rap and
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she's like i could do that
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i'm going to go and do the exact same
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thing
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no no yo yo
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what if you're sitting next to her in a
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room what are you thinking are you okay
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in there
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here's the tip kids if you want to look
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cool while doing your rap don't read
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your lyrics off to the side
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practice and learn the thing because
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otherwise it sort of eliminates your
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swag the whole time she's like doing
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this to catch the next rhyme that's
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ditto
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you can't do that no rapper would have
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succeeded can you imagine if tupac was
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reading his rhymes off on the side you
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claim to be a player butter just screw
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sorry guys scrooge why we bust on the
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back can we get up can we get a
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different font if you have
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4.5 billion dollars why are you on tick
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tock what are you doing on tech talk
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huh the whole point of being on tick
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tock is to get followers so that you can
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get paid so you can be rich enough so
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you don't have to be on tick tock
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anymore no one wants to be on tick tock
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you think shaq is dancing for fun that
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man has deaths look at the pain in his
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eyes
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they're coming for his family
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i'll never understand how people are
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smart enough to commit the biggest
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crimes but then dumb enough to never get
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away with it i mean
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like
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there's a better way to do this crime
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and i'm not trying to give anyone advice
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on how to do crime please i'm not giving
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advice but here's the thing
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if you steal crypto don't just keep it
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all in one place yo what you got to do
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is break it up into multiple wallets you
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keep those wallets offline in separate
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drives right then you make sure that
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your keys are not in the cloud or
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written down anywhere then you move to a
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country that doesn't have any
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extradition laws to the us then you
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launder the money slowly using other
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crypto or nfts and again i'm not giving
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advice on doing crime
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[Music]
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you
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