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Trump鈥檚 Excuses Get More Insane as FBI Unseals Warrant | The Daily Show - YouTube
Channel: The Daily Show with Trevor Noah
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remember how last week the fbi took an
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eight-hour vacation to mar-a-lago and
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went home with a bunch of souvenirs well
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we all had the same question what were
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they looking for at donald trump's house
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this weekend we all found out
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this morning the newly unsealed search
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warrant shedding light on what exactly
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fbi agents were looking for at
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mar-a-lago and what they seized
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according to the documents made public
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by a federal judge agents were searching
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for evidence of three potential crimes
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violations of the espionage act unlawful
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removal of public records and
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obstruction of justice by concealing
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altering or destroying records to impede
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an investigation they found 27 boxes of
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government records including 11 sets of
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classified documents four sets of
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documents were marked top secret and one
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marked top secret sci a classification
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reserved for some of the most sensitive
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intelligence and national security
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information typically only viewed in a
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highly secure location yeah that's right
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turns out trump didn't just have top
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secret documents they were top secret
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sci
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what does sci stand for you ask that's
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also top secret you dumbass
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i'll be honest i didn't even know you
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could have a level of secret above top
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did you know this
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yeah i also don't think it makes sense
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right that's the point of top if there's
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something above top then top is middle
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you know yeah top is top people like top
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gun he's the best fighter pilot if
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someone else come in and then they like
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top a gun i want my money back that's
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not what i was promised
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not to mention if something is top but
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then we find out that there's something
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above that then how do we know that
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that's not the final thing then there
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could be something above that and then
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how do we know that there's not
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something above that but because there's
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no top like top has to be the top then
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there's no end and then like space time
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is what infinite and then do we even
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exist like what does this mean who are
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we
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i'm having
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i'm having a panic attack right now
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stop the show
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[Music]
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so
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it turns out donald trump was in
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possession of top secret documents he
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wasn't supposed to have
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and look i'm not victim blaming her but
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if you ask me the government is partly
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to responsible they're partly
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responsible for labeling the files top
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secret
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yeah because think about it nobody wants
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to read boxes of government documents
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right but if it says top secret on it
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now everyone's interested
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it's the same way you don't label your
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pawn folder pawn
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right the government should do what we
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do just put secrets in a folder called
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taxes 2012 to 2017.
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yeah i've done that my whole life
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my only screw up was i did this when i
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was 12 years old and then my mother was
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like what taxes are you paying when
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you're 12.
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and then she busted me for porn and tax
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evasion anyway the point is
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no matter what their label donald trump
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wasn't supposed to have these documents
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at his house
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and in case you're wondering why these
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documents are top top top top secret
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well hold on to your butts because what
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trump took home could blow them right
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off
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the washington post has reported that
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among the materials sought by federal
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agents was related to nuclear weapons
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programs if you get into nuclear related
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documents that is the highest level it
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does not get any more serious than that
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some of this could be information about
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adversaries some of this could be about
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nuclear weapon design some of this could
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be about our nuclear arsenals uh or our
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launch procedures
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are you me
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donald trump
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might have kept the world's nuclear
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secrets in his basement at mar-a-lago
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the same place rudy giuliani sleeps to
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avoid the sunlight that is so
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irresponsible
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[Applause]
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because you realize the worst case
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scenario with these documents is that
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trump sold them to like saudi arabia the
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best case scenario is that he just lay
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in bed with them and rubbed him all over
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his naked body
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actually not i'm gonna flip that worst
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case scenario is that he rubbed them
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naked on his body hopefully he just sold
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them to the saudis hopefully hopefully
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oh and by the way just today to add to
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this whole saga trump posted that in the
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raid by the fbi of mar-a-lago they stole
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my three passports one expired
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along with everything else
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and i can see why trump is pissed if
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they took his passports
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i mean he's the guy who wanted to build
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the wall and now he's going to need to
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sneak into mexico come as a
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also
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also
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why does donald trump even need a
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passport
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there is no one on earth
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that looks or sounds like this man
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no one he could land on a distant planet
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and the aliens there would be
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we've seen tv welcome donald trump
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just be like thank you now please take
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me to your three boobed woman
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and by the way you do realize there's a
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15 chance trump just misplaced his
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passport right
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it's possible
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it happens all the time you think the
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fbi took something and you find it in
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your sock drawer
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yeah like paul you know maybe melania
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moved them you know it was like oh no i
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guess now i have to go back to slovenia
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by myself bye donal
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bye
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you know
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you know what's been the most fun
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the most fun in all of this
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is how trump
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and the red caps are working so hard to
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invent new excuses for why this crime
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wasn't a crime because you remember when
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when the story first broke right they
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were saying things like there's nothing
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at mar-a-lago except a bunch of notes
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from eric and and if they did find
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something the fbi must have planted it
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well forget all that forget all of it
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that's like two days ago right
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they've got a fresh shipment of excuses
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today starting with it was homework
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the former president is offering a new
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line of defense for taking these
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documents to his mar-a-lago home a
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statement released by trump's office
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friday night contends that everyone
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takes work home sometimes yeah no no you
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know what that's true everyone does take
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work home sometimes but not donald trump
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the man barely took work to work
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and also by the way it's not taking work
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home with you if you no longer have the
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job all right can we agree on that all
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right
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you don't have the job you can't take
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work home with you
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like if you get fired from your
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babysitting job but you still go pick up
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the kid from school
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that's just kidnapping
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but if you don't like that excuse that's
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fine that's fine
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trump's got another one
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like how about obama
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president trump has been making the
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baseless and false claim that former
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president obama took more than 30
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million classified documents when he
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left the white house donald trump
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tweeted
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that president barack hussein obama kept
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33 million pages of documents much of
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them classified how many of them pertain
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to nuclear word is lots
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all right
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okay
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first of all uh this is just completely
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made up in fact the national archives
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came out and said it is not true but
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also for the sake of the argument let's
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say it was true
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these people are the same people who
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have spent 15 years saying obama is
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basically the devil
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but then when they get into trouble
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they're like it's fine we just did the
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same thing as the devil
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and also did you pick up that uh barack
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hussein obama that's a nice little touch
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yeah just to remind the people who he
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really is
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i know what trump is doing he's trying
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to drum up old islamophobia but
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everybody knows that that's barack's
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middle name it doesn't sound nefarious
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anymore you know it just sounds like
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you're his mom barack hussein obama you
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get down here and clean up this mess
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right now
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coming mom but
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but
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if you don't like that excuse it's cool
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baby it's cool
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trump's got another one for you it's
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about how he declassified
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these documents
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in his mind
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and a new defense emerged overnight from
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a conservative journalist tied to trump
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who read a statement from the former
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president's office he had a standing
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order that documents removed from the
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oval office and taken to the residence
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were deemed to be declassified the
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moment he removed them
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oh that's an interesting excuse
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anything trump took home with him was
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automatically declassified because he
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had a standing order
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it's also super convenient that no one
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has ever heard about this rule until he
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got busted for having top secret
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documents at his house but whatever
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i've actually heard this defense before
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yeah usually it's when people get busted
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for having an affair
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you know they'll be like no actually i
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didn't cheat on you i had already broken
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up with you in my mind on the way to
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their house and then on the way home i
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decided to give us another chance come
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here baby i forgive you i forgive you i
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forgive you
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so there you have it three brand new
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fresh excuses
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what oh that's still not enough for you
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oh you you're particular okay i see
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then maybe what you need is a little bit
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of this
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nbc has a peace out quoting sources that
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say the chaotic nature of donald trump's
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exit from the white house contributed to
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sensitive documents being taken to
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mar-a-lago then there were reports that
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trump packed in a rush quote when it
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finally dawned on donald trump in the
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twilight of his presidency that he
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wouldn't be living at the white house
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for another four years he had a problem
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he had barely packed and had to move out
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quickly
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oh my god
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oh this is the greatest excuse of all
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time trump's people are saying because
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he didn't think he was leaving the white
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house he packed in a hurry when he left
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yeah yeah he was so busy planning the
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coup he didn't even think about packing
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is that what happened it's like guys i
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wasn't trying to steal these documents i
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was trying to steal the election why
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would i pack when i thought i'd have
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another 10 or 20 years in the white
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house it makes no sense hello
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[Music]
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you
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