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South African President Jacob Zuma & The Panama Papers: The Daily Show - YouTube
Channel: The Daily Show with Trevor Noah
[1]
Um, you know,
a lot of my career,
[3]
I've, uh, I've made fun
of politicians.
[5]
And-and now that
I'm in this job,
[6]
it's mostly
American politicians,
[8]
but that's because
this is America,
[9]
and you guys don't really give
a (bleep) about anywhere else.
[12]
Uh... That's... It's just
a joke, but it's true.
[16]
Um... now, I,
[18]
like, I don't have a problem
talking (bleep) about the U.S.,
[20]
but sometimes it makes it seem
like other countries
[23]
don't have problems
with their politicians.
[25]
Uh, take my president,
Jacob Zuma, right?
[28]
Uh, no, that's...
Sorry, no, that's Idi Amin.
[30]
Please take...
[31]
No, that's Forest Whitaker
playing Idi Amin.
[34]
No, that's Larry Wilmore.
Why are you...
[36]
Oh, no, sorry, whoa,
that's Zuma. Sorry.
[38]
Sorry, I s... I saw the...
[40]
I'm sorry. My bad, Larry,
my bad. My bad.
[42]
I... Corner of my eye.
I'm sorry, man.
[45]
Uh, so, yeah, so, that's
my president, Jacob Zuma.
[47]
All right? And, uh,
and this-this guy--
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the president of South Africa--
he's no stranger,
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uh, to controversy, you know?
[53]
He's-he's a man who's faced
over 700 charges of corruption,
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and that was<i> before </i>
he was elected as president.
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And-and I know, I know--
that should have been a red flag
[62]
to South Africans,
but ever since apartheid,
[64]
we-we strive to be color-blind,
so all we saw was a flag.
[67]
Um... But now, President Zuma
[69]
has gotten himself
into another bind.
[72]
In South Africa the country's
president, Jacob Zuma,
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is facing calls to resign.
[78]
This, after South Africa's
highest court
[80]
determined Zuma broke the law
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in using public funds
to renovate his private home.
[85]
<i> The constitutional court ruled
Mr. Zuma improperly used</i>
[89]
<i> $15 million in state funds</i>
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<i> for home upgrades.</i>
[96]
You know why I love this?
[97]
People looking at that going,
"which one is his home?"
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All of it.
[101]
What you were looking at
was all of it.
[103]
Yeah, President Zuma
spent $15 million
[105]
to<i> renovate</i> his house,
[107]
not build it-- renovate.
[109]
Which is an amazing figure.
[110]
Partly because he can't even
count that high. Uh...
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No, and this is not,
like, a mean joke.
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President Zuma
cannot count that high.
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This is President Zuma
[119]
attempting to say
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769,870.
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Our membership figures
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stood at...
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Listen properly.
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(clears throat)
[152]
(laughter and applause)
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You know what, my favorite part,
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my favorite part is when
he tries to blame the audience
[160]
for the fact
that he can't say the number.
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"700... Uh, listen properly.
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Listen. Listen."
[167]
It's almost like he's saying
to the audience, "Hey, guys,
[168]
"this only sounds wrong because
your ears are (bleep) up.
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Listen properly. Listen.
I'm saying it right."
[173]
Now, the most glaring thing here
wasn't the fact
[175]
that he spent $15 million
but how he tried to justify it.
[178]
For instance, he built himself
a beautiful swimming pool
[180]
at his house, all right?
And then the public said,
[182]
"Uh, why is the government
paying
[183]
for your private swimming pool?"
And then he said,
[185]
"No, uh,
it's not a swimming pool.
[187]
This is a fire pool." And the
people were like, "Uh, what?"
[190]
And he said, "Yeah, you see,
this pool is used
[192]
"if there's a fire.
I take the water from the pool
[195]
"and I splash it onto the fire.
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So it's a government expense
to keep the president safe."
[199]
Uh, that-that's an actual thing
that he said.
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Which is understandable.
It's the same philosophy I use
[204]
when I claim sports cars
on my tax returns
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as a medical expense. Uh, the
IRS goes, "That's a Ferrari."
[208]
And I reply, "No, that's a
microphallic compensation tool.
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That's what that is."
Uh, it's all how you see it.
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It's all how you see it.
[216]
But, you know, that's-that's one
of the downsides
[218]
of African presidents. There's
so much corruption in Africa,
[221]
something you never see
in the West.
[224]
Unless you look.
[226]
The largest leak
of secret documents in history.
[229]
<i> Publication of what are being
called the Panama Papers</i>
[231]
<i> this weekend has exposed
a worldwide corruption scandal.</i>
[234]
REPORTER:<i>
There are huge allegations</i>
[235]
<i> within these documents.
Money laundering,</i>
[237]
<i> arms and drug deals,
tax evasion.</i>
[240]
12 current or former leaders,
[242]
world leaders, have been named,
another 128 politicians as well.
[246]
Edward Snowden even tweeting,
"This is the biggest leak
[249]
in the history
of data journalism."
[251]
11 million documents. That's
ten times what Snowden leaked.
[255]
Oh, (bleep)!
(laughs)
[258]
You know a leak is big
when Edward Snowden
[260]
is impressed by it. Yeah.
[262]
That's like Donald Trump
being impressed by your tan.
[264]
That's what that is.
[266]
-(laughing) Oh.
-(cheering)
[269]
But this-this Panama Papers
scandal is a huge story.
[272]
It's still growing.
We don't even know what it's...
[274]
like, where it's gonna end.
Everyone is talking about it.
[276]
Basically, the story is that,
this weekend,
[278]
someone
at a Panamanian law firm, uh,
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leaked 11 million documents,
[282]
11 million documents
that revealed the alleged owners
[285]
of more than
15,000 offshore shell companies.
[288]
Now, at this point,
Panama has basically produced
[290]
as many leaked documents
as they have douchey hats.
[293]
Um... This is... Why do... why
do people still wear these hats?
[296]
I don't get it. You look like
such a douche when you wear,
[298]
like, a... No. Hey, no, no.
No, that...
[301]
Don't-don't laugh at that.
I wore it once
[304]
in, like, 2008.
Back when they were cool.
[307]
That's not a...
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11 million documents.
11 million documents.
[314]
Now-now, look, uh,
having a shell company
[316]
isn't always illegal, all right,
[318]
but a lot
of very powerful people
[319]
are about to be implicated
in some dubious (bleep).
[322]
Uh, and, by the way,
whoever leaked this,
[324]
unlike Edward Snowden, they
won't find refuge in Russia.
[328]
REPORTER:<i> Russian president
Vladimir Putin,</i>
[329]
<i> he's not named specifically
in these documents,</i>
[332]
<i> but they do reveal
a telltale trail set up</i>
[335]
<i> by his closest inner circle
and worth $2 billion.</i>
[339]
No way!
[341]
You're telling me the guy who
walked through King Midas' doors
[344]
to shake hands
with Bashar al-Genocide
[346]
is up to something shady?
Oh, no!
[349]
(cheering and applause)
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How is anything with Putin
still a surprise?
[354]
But we're gonna be hearing
a lot more about this
[357]
in days to come because the list
of people is kind of incredible.
[360]
REPORTER:<i> The king of Saudi
Arabia; the prime minister</i>
[362]
<i> of Pakistan;
Jackie Chan, the film star...</i>
[365]
No, Jackie Chan!
[368]
We trusted you, Jackie!
[371]
What kind of kung fu is this?
[373]
You know, Jackie Ch...
Jackie, my heart is broke.
[376]
Now Jackie Chan
could get arrested.
[378]
We actually have footage
of the authorities
[380]
apprehending him this morning.
[383]
(grunting)
[392]
(laughs) Oh, if anyone knows
of Jackie Chan's whereabouts,
[395]
remember, approach him
as a group but then fight him
[398]
one at a time.
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