BLACK SPEAK | How To Talk BLACK (Ebonics) - YouTube

Helloooo fellow white people! Do you want to sound cool to impress girls or land the

job of your dreams? Well, today i’ll be teaching you how to talk like a black thug

from the ghetto!

#1. Add extra syllables onto the ends of words.

Let me show you an example. Now, as you heard, the black girl was saying the word “expenses”,

and she added an extra “es” to the end of it, making it “expenseses”. Sounds

quite cool I dare say. So, if a word ends in the letter “s”, you simply add another

“es” onto the end of it - for example, expenses becomes: expenseses. Another example

would be: “Hello sir! Please pour the champagne into the glasseses.” or “Hello sir! I

am going to the gym to exercise my quadseses.” In this last example, you may have noticed

that i added 2 sets of “es”’s, and this is because, the final word, must be at least

3 syllables. If i had only added 1 set of “es”’s, it would have been: Quadses,

which sounds quite silly, as the final word must be at least 3 syllables, for example:

Quadseses, or even, quadseseses.

#2. Greet people with black greetings. How many black people do you think greet each

other with greetings such as: “Hello sir!” and “Hey, buddy.” Exactly. if you want

to greet like a black person, you should address people as: “Sup ninja”. So, if you are

speaking to a black person, if you want to sound hip and cool, you can greet that person

with the phrase “Sup ninja.” Ninja is a term of endearment in the black community,

so black people will appreciate that you are a cultured and educated person who knows about

this fact. I recommend you start trying this immediately and tell me how it worked out

as it’s the easiest way to build rapport with black people.

#3. If, in a word, the letters “s” and “t” are next to each other in the word,

you should replace the letter “t” with a letter “k”. for example: “Hello sir,

can you tell me what skreet we are on?” In this example, I have changed the word “street”,

to “skreet”. If you want to sound even more authentic, you should pronounce the “s”

as a “sh”, therefore “street” wouldn’t be only “skreet”, but “shkreet”. Another

good example would be: “Last night at band practice, I did quite a jolly good job skrumming

the melody on my trombone.” As you can see, i changed the word “strumming” to “skrumming”,

or “shkrumming”. Now, for some reason, this only works if the letters “s” and

“t” are also followed by the letter “r”, which you can see in the examples I gave,

“street” and “strumming”. However, if not followed by an “r”, this does not

work, for example: “In the school play, Peter Pan jumped down from the mast of the

boat.” In this example, if you tried to change the word “mast” to “mask”,

it would not make sense, and it would sound quite silly. One rapper who uses this tip

quite a lot, is the rapper called: Gucci Man. So, if you want to hear this tip being put

into practice, take a listen to some of his songs. Also, gucci man used to be fat, and

now he is skinny, so, it’s quite an inspirational story. As i always say: If you want to do

something, just put your mind to it, and YOU CAN DO IT! However, if the rumors are correct

and the government cloned him during his last prison stay, disregard everything I just said

about him being an inspiration, because if you want to be a true black, you need to hate

the government. #FuckThaPolice.

#4. Don’t do white things. If you want to talk like a black person, there is no point

doing it, if you are just going to cancel it out by doing “white things.” Here are

some examples of “white things”: playing cricket. playing lacrosse. wearing the brand

brooks brothers. wearing the brand abercrombie and fitch. driving an rv. driving an electric

car. knitting. using the word “literally” - this last one is something that filthy white

millenials do quite often, for example: “Hey man, I literally just got back from the mall,

there was a sale at the brooks brothers outlet and everything was literally 20% off!” NO

BLACK PERSON HAS EVER SAID THAT SENTENCE!

#5. Settle your problems the correct way! Now, I have created this little diagram. On

the left, we have 2 races: white, and black. And on the right, we have 2 methods of solving

problems: #1 - Tell the person causing the problem to shut the fuck up, and if they don’t,

then beat them up. and #2 - Go on your social media accounts and tell everybody how offended

you are. Now, in this exercise, I want you to match up the race, with the method of solving

problems that you think corresponds to that race. I will give you TEN SECONDS to complete

this exercise. So, have you solved it yet? The correct answer is: white matches up with

problem solving method #2, and black matches up with problem solving method #1. If you

have a problem, you must solve it yourself! Being offended is something only stupid whiteys

do. Do you think black people would have solved the problem of slavery if all they did was

talk about how offended they were? No! Now, white people are going to find this tip quite

difficult, because they are used to being offended all the time. Even if they are not

actually offended by something, they are used to going on their social media accounts, and

acting like they are offended, so that they can get likes and shares, from other people

who are not actually offended but are acting like they are so that THEY can also get likes

and shares! It’s just part of white culture. It’s quite a bit of fun. Also, white people

are used to being offended on behalf of other people. For example, if somebody says the

word ninja, and a black person is not offended, then it is the job of the white person, to

be offended ON BEHALF OF THE BLACK PERSON. This is because, the black person is not intelligent

enough to understand that they are supposed to be offended, and it is the white person’s

job to inform them of this fact, thus ruining their day and making them sad, when they previously

were not.

#6. Play black sports. How many black people do you think play sports like: cricket, and

golf? None! Black people only play black sports. If you live in america, then acceptable black

sports include: Basketball. If you live in England, then acceptable black sports include:

basketball, and football. Now, when i say football, I mean real football, not that silly

game that americans call football even though they play it with their HANDS, I mean REAL

football, the kind you play with your FOOT. Quite a lot of black people in England go

to the pub to have a pint and watch a bit of football. I think, that i may in fact,

start a petition, to start referring to american football, as: American soccer. This way, real

football will be referred to as football, and american football will be referred to

as american soccer. Yes, this is quite a good idea indeed. So, leave a comment below, and

let me know who your favorite american soccer team is! Mine is the 42ers, or whatever number

it is, i don’t know because i don’t keep up with silly sports like AMERICAN SOCCER.

#7. Say the word “shit” a lot. If you want to talk black, you should say the word

“shit” a lot, at random times. You should also pronounce it with a silent “t”, like

this: “shi”. Here is an example of this.Now, in that wonderful piece of music, you heard

the white rapper say “let’s get it,” and then you heard the black rapper say “shi

let’s get it.” What was the purpose of the word “shit”? In fact there was no

purpose, and it was just there to sound cool! You also noticed that it was pronounced: shi,

instead of shit. So, this is quite a good tip, to add to your repertoire

BONUS TIP: If you want to come off authentic, you shouldn’t only talk black, but also

dress black. Unfortunately, nowadays you have to be rich in order to do so. Back in the

good all days, all you needed was an X X X X X L white T-shirt that cost 3 dollars and

your father’s oversized jeans, however nowadays things are a bit trickier. You will need designer

clothes, like clothes from Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Balenciaga and Supreme. On top of that, you

should also get some expensive jewelry - back in the day, a simple gold chain was enough,

but now you need a thick 30 karat gold chain with flawless diamonds all iced out - ah,

“iced out”, that is the black term for jewelry with a lot of diamonds in it, so you

will probably have to ask your father for more allowance, unless you are as rich as

me and are able to afford those things with your normal allowance.

So that’s it for this language tutorial Sirs - uh, I mean - ma’ ninjas! They always

say that if you want to learn a new language, you should move to a country where they speak

the language to pick it up. In this case, you don’t need to move to another country,

because you can just move to your local ghetto and start practicing these tips immediately

until you master the art of blackspeak. If this video helped you, make sure you don’t

forget to like this video, comment on this video, share this video on instagram facebook,

and twitter, with any black people you know! Just post it and tag them in it so they know

it is about them, and they will feel honored that you were researching their culture! Also,

subscribe to my channel, turn on the notifications and donate money to my Patreon! Bye!