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Real Lawyer Reacts to Harvey Birdman (Bannon Custody Case) - YouTube
Channel: LegalEagle
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thanks to endo Chino for keeping legal
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eagle in the air and helping me look fly
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dr. quest the pleasure please call me
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Benton and may I call you mr. Brewster
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Birdman okay is it Harvey Birdman or is
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it Harvey Birdman I always thought it
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was Birdman growing up like the
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superhero but upon reflection I thought
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it was a play on words like a person's
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last name it seems like they're using
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both here and I have no idea which one
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it is I think as you can tell bird law
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is not my specialty hey legal eagles
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it's time to think like a lawyer and
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today I am excited to be covering Harvey
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Birdman attorney at law highly requested
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and I used to watch this all the time as
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a kid so I'm really excited to see how
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this holds up as a practicing lawyer
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this is actually going to be the first
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in a couple of cartoon trials that I'm
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going to cover let me know what you
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think the next one is going to be
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because I'm really excited about the
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next one it's one of my absolute
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favorites as always be sure to comment
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in the form of an objection which I will
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either sustain or overrule and stick
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around until the end of the video where
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I give Harvey Birdman a grade for legal
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realism so without further ado let's dig
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into the first episode of Harvey Birdman
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attorney at law okay so the setup for
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this episode is that the two father
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figures in I think it's Jonny Quest are
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having a dispute and the person who is
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not Jonny quests father is taking off
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with the two boys and wants paternity of
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the two of them much to the chagrin of
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their scientist father
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I don't know Benton I guess I think of
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the boys is my own of course you do race
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you're like a second father to them what
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if that's not good enough
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being the second father I'm afraid I
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don't catch your meaning I want the boys
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Benton full time I've raised them and I
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think it's only fair race you're tired
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the adventure of the Yeti snow princess
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took a lot out of both of us take a
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couple of days oh oh I'm taking the boys
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Benton and there's not a damn thing you
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do about it that's definitely assault
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and battery forgot my keys
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Oh potential theft of the car Harvey
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Birdman attorney at law dictating on his
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fourteenth 2:34 p.m. dictating dictating
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Harvey Birdman okay so this is actually
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hilarious because it's has a kernel of
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truth back in the day really just a
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couple of years before I started
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practicing it was fairly common for
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attorneys to take dictation so they
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would record their thoughts on to some
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sort of reel-to-reel tape or a little
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micro cassette or if you were really
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fancy directly onto a computer and then
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you would have your legal secretary
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transcribe all of that and if they were
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a really good legal secretary then they
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would turn that into the basis for a
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pleading or a letter to opposing counsel
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and this is exactly what it would look
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like and often you would have these
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large gaps in the tape where you were
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waiting to think of what else to say and
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for this particular thing
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sadly using dictaphones has gone out of
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favor and now we just type everything
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because most lawyers I think can type
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faster than they can actually talk so
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you really would not save any time doing
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this but this is totally accurate to
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what it used to be back in the day yes a
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doctor quest to see you mr. Bergner and
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any mean request the pleasure please
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call me Benton and may I call you mr.
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Birdman okay is it Harvey Birdman or is
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it Harvey Birdman I always thought it
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was Birdman growing up like the
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superhero but upon reflection I thought
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it was a play on words like a person's
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last name it seems like they're using
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both here and I have no idea which one
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it is I think as you can tell bird law
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is not my specialty what makes mr.
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Benton believe he has any claim on your
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children well I hired him to look after
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the boys but as time went on he became
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more a second father to them I said I'm
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a good
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but maybe I should have made more the
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cat's in the cradle and the silver ball
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I'll take the case but first I need to
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speak to the boys what are their names
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oh of course
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their names certainly well uh yes well
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there's a blond one the blond one whose
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name is oh dear God there are certain
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procedures that you can do to remove
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custody of children away from their
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biological parents it's very very
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difficult to do but you can imagine if
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the father did not actually know the
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names of the children that would be
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probably prima facie evidence that he
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should not have custody over these
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children or putting them in very
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dangerous situations like playing with
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explosives so you have enough on this
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one one minute I'm a penniless orphan
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stuck in his street-sweeping cast the
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next I'm on this really cool needle II
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plane that goes very very fast drinking
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cold American beverages I owe dr. quest
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very much big time then you Hey you know
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he's my dad yes that was the onus on
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August the results were negative thank
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you so this is really good
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Harvey Birdman or Birdman whichever it
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is in this particular episode is doing a
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good job of interviewing the prospective
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witnesses that would be very important
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when you're dealing with a custody suit
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like this and it would be important for
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any trial so you actually really don't
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see witness prep going on very often in
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dramas so good job to this cartoon for
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actually getting one of the mundane
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parts of the legal practice correctly
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oh man Birdman at last we meet again
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yeah I think it probably goes without
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saying that obviously you can't walk
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into court wearing a bird suit and a
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mask
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indogene oh and fun fact wearing a mask
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in public is considered loitering under
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New York law well Turo it was last week
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I was in Zurich last week to knit
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Avenger my personal digital assistant um
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how do you make a tea again do you push
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that and then leave it down or do I said
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I'd live on to defeat you and that
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happens this very day feel the power
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oh my god the power of attorney the
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power of attorney so super powers
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notwithstanding it's actually pretty
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common for attorneys in specific niches
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like family law to know each other very
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very well even in big cities there
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aren't that many well-known family law
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attorneys so if you dabble in that area
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with some frequency you're gonna get to
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know everyone else in the in the family
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law bar and so it makes total sense that
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Harvey Birdman knows this other person
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even if he I think in the background is
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a super villain as well and also true
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story when you pass the bar you gain the
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power of attorney which allows you to
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shoot electricity and energy out of your
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briefcase and hands the power of
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attorney should not do that for the
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judge because someone is the genetic
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parent of a child does that make him the
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one most fit to raise a child
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please never judge there we shouldn't
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have people in the quest family these
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two adorable young boys okay
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so a couple things going on here
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obviously the attorney should not be
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that close to the jury you can't enter
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the well without permission or the
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bailiff will tackle you especially in a
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court surrounded by super villains and
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superheroes other than that though
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I will say that sometimes the attorneys
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accents can make it very very difficult
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to understand them and I will say that
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when I was practicing in a very very
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rural part of Virginia there were times
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when I could not understand what the
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opposing attorney was saying so you know
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sometimes that happens and the attorney
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might not know that he or she is losing
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the jury because what he or she is
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saying is totally incomprehensible that
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definitely happens state your first name
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your last name and occupation lizard man
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lizard man and lizard man you witnessed
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sure from what I saw
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during a mystery of the lizard man is
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mystery lizard man right right you know
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from what I saw it was mr. Bannon who
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was with the children the most thank you
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hey good going bill nice job next
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witness now what is my intelligence in
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your opinion who the best parent is sure
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quest was there physically but it was
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clear to me that Bannon was the primary
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caregiver best pattern Bannon mr. Bannon
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now normally this kind of parade of
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ridiculous witnesses is totally totally
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illegitimate see for example the
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Seinfeld trial where they just bring in
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character witness after character
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witness totally ridiculous it was a
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communist now she exposed her nipple
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mm-hmm
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but here these witnesses actually are
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not testifying to the character per se
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but to the parenting ability of the two
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adults in question I think all of this
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testimony probably would come in and is
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probative
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in other words relevant to the crucial
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question of whether the children are in
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danger and whether custody should be
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given over to the other person so there
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should be some cross-examination going
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on Harvey Birdman should be up and
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cross-examining these people but all in
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all the regular testimony is pretty good
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boy that went well today I'd say as
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celebrations in order sketch sketch
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sketch classic Stan there 11
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okay of course it's ridiculous to have
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the children in a bar oh that does feed
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into the idea that their father is not a
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good caretaker I will say that after a
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day of trial the place you were most
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likely to find a lawyer is at a bar
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probably the one that's closest to the
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courthouse I'd like to call to the stand
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dr. Benton quest dr. quest
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tell us a little about your relationship
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well way too close
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way too close to the witness race and I
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met one night with your boys oh right I
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treasure them I love them dearly mm-hmm
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that's technically improper you're not
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allowed to lead the witness that way and
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it's really damning for his case and
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when I'm not working on my projects like
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a way of accelerating particles to
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subsonic speed using just magnets for
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instance waveforms constant rates
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nothing resolving the sum which
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surprisingly equals the mass of the atom
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and separating them by weight we should
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see sometimes it is so hard to control a
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witness and they think they're doing a
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good job or they could just get lost in
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whatever point that they're trying to
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make whether it's good for the trial or
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not yeah I feel for Harvey Birdman here
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it's hard to control a witness sometimes
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vision Botero
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your witness spend time with your boys
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why yes I think I have young times
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entering watch things that a father does
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with his son would include well
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would you mind Jonny and know how
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to play baseball why I'm not sure so
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here you might think that the the policy
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of never asking a question a
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cross-examination that you don't already
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know the answer to is sacrosanct but
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this is actually a good example of when
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you should deviate from that rule
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because there's really no answer that
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dr. quest can give here that will be
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good
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obviously the attorney knows that this
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guy doesn't know his children very well
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and if he answers the question correctly
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well that he knows whether his children
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know how to play baseball
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or not well you just move on to the next
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question without really any damage being
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done however if the doctor fails to
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answer the question in the way that he
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is clearly failing to do here then he
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will have played into the hands and that
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testimony will be devastating to dr.
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quests case so this is actually a good
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example of asking questions you might
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not necessarily know the answer to ahead
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of time but it can lead to some really
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really good and damning testimony look I
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don't know why bases ball means so much
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to everyone there's important work to be
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done to make things more decent more
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decent than baseball dun dun
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that would be argumentative how long
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have you known the boys why four years
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almost half their lives and how would
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you describe your relationship with them
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on their body guard and tutor this would
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also be improper because this attorney
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has already called all of his witnesses
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and then turned it over to the quests
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presumably the respondent or the
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defendant so you don't get to then call
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new witnesses you'd be allowed to call
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rebuttal witnesses but this is your main
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witness so he's not a rebuttal witness
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so that order of the witnesses is
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totally wrong but you see this in a lot
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of legal shows where they call witnesses
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out of order to make it more dramatic
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you know Harvey Birdman is no exception
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this doesn't seem like race mm-hmm what
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do the boys mean to you they mean they
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mean everything to me
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excuse me I've taught them how to
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summer boats how to tie a tourniquet but
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they've taught me so much more they've
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taught me to care to nurture and I don't
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see why a simple thing like biology
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should get in the way of what I know in
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my heart to be true thank you you're all
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witness I was really good direct
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testimony and really good open any
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questions from the lawyer eliciting a
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great narrative and some great sound
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bites from the witness so great job with
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direct examination bootylicious yes your
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honor your witness
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yes your honor mr. bannon how long have
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you known the boys why four years almost
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half their died as an aiding tell me mr.
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Bennett what do you have to say about
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this sorry yeah you're not allowed in
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the well oh let's see no I tried that
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one already what do you have to say
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about this mr. bird man you better have
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a damn good explanation for this I do
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your honor
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a few months ago during the adventure of
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the sunken safe-deposit box race
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mysteriously became left-handed and his
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shoes suddenly had laces went up till
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then they'd always been slip ons see the
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bartender the game race a drugged frozen
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lime daiquiri during the house and
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tasteful men was the same man who judged
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later dinged your Lexus and drove off
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without exchanging insurance information
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this man created a robot race Bannon and
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programmed it to get the boys and that
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man your honor is in this very courtroom
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okay putting aside the theatrics of a
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robot taking the stand that information
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should have come out in discovery and
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not in trial itself so if Harvey Birdman
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was a good lawyer he would have
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discovered all of this information
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months ahead of the trial itself that's
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what litigation is for stenographer read
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back when I just said yes and that is
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totally accurate that he could ask the
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stenographer the court reporter to read
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back part of the transcript in those
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particular circumstances that's really
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funny Oh drat this confounded machine
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doesn't make any sense doctor dr. Zin
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why was dr. Zin a stenographer though
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picked a
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valchek craft you know if the lawyer was
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complicit with the supervillains
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attempts to get custody of the boys and
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suborned perjury and this false witness
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that guy could get disbarred god it's so
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good I love Harvard man I hope you guys
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like this cuz I'd love to do another
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episode to this it is time to give
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Harvey Birdman attorney at law a grade
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for legal realism so on the one hand you
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have some pretty good trial tactics good
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direct examination reasonably
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cross-examination tactics and some
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testimony that was actually relevant to
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the question at hand which you actually
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don't see all that often on the other
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hand you have an abbreviated time frame
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that is totally unrealistic you've got
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superheroes and super powers going off
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in the courtroom and some totally
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ridiculous nonsense with some robots and
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testimony but all in all I have to say
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this is one of the more accurate
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cartoons when you give it a discount for
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trying to be a comedy and a kids show so
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I will give Harvey Birdman attorney at
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law a b-plus for legal accuracy you can
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really feel the power of attorney the
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power of attorney now whether you are a
[1081]
superhero turned attorney or just want
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to look good you need a quality
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leave your objections in the comments
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and check out this playlist for all of
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my other real lawyer reactions over here
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where I will see you in court
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