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Trump鈥檚 Train-Wreck Interview with Jonathan Swan on HBO | The Tonight聽Show - YouTube
Channel: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
[1]
-Everybody, welcome to the show.
Thank you for watching.
[2]
I'm Jimmy Fallon.
[3]
They are the Roots right there.
[6]
Thank you for tuning in.
[8]
It's been a pretty crazy day
with the storm
[10]
hitting the East Coast.
[12]
Extreme winds and thousands
of power outages,
[14]
so everyone out there,
stay safe.
[17]
And we're thinking
about you guys.
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Alright. Let's get to some news
and jokes.
[21]
Well, guys, everybody
is talking about this.
[23]
Last night HBO aired
[25]
Jonathan Swan's interview
with President Trump,
[28]
and let's just say
it was so bad
[30]
it made his coronavirus
briefings look good.
[33]
The interview was such
a disaster, at one point FEMA
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showed up and wrapped Trump
in a foil blanket.
[38]
[ Laughter ]
[40]
You could tell things
weren't going well
[42]
because midway through Trump
asked
[43]
if he could talk
to Chris Wallace instead.
[46]
-Incidentally, I took the test,
too,
[47]
when I heard that you passed it.
[49]
-Yeah, how did you do?
-It's not the hardest test.
[51]
-No.
-The picture --
[52]
-The last --
-It's an elephant.
[54]
-"Well, elephant, doesn't really
look like an elephant."
[58]
If you don't know
Jonathan Swan,
[59]
he's an Australian reporter,
which is fun
[61]
because we got to see
a Trump interview
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go down the drain
in the opposite direction.
[65]
[ Laughter ]
[67]
Trump did so poorly,
the only HBO interview
[69]
he'll do now is
Elmo's late-night talk show.
[71]
[ Laughter ]
[73]
That's right.
The interview was on HBO,
[75]
which is why beforehand
they showed this graphic.
[77]
Adult content, child language,
brief stupidity.
[79]
[ Laughter ]
[81]
The interview started off
with Swan asking Trump
[83]
about his response
to the coronavirus.
[86]
Let's see how that went.
[87]
-When they hear you say
everything's under control,
[89]
don't worry about wearing masks,
[90]
it's giving them
a false sense of security.
[91]
-Right now,
I think it's under control.
[93]
-How?
[94]
A thousand Americans
are dying a day.
[95]
-They're dying, that's true.
[98]
It is what it is.
[100]
-"It is what it is"?
[102]
You're the President
of the United States.
[104]
You're not Paulie Walnuts
delivering bad news
[106]
to Tony Soprano.
[107]
"Sorry, T, things got
a little messy.
[109]
It is what it is, capisce?"
[111]
[ Laughter ]
[114]
At funerals while everyone says,
"my condolences,"
[116]
Trump's like,
"It is what it is."
[118]
[ Laughter ]
[119]
"Where are the refreshments?"
[121]
That reminds me of the moment
after the attack
[123]
on Pearl Harbor when FDR said,
"Eh, what are you going to do?"
[127]
[ Laughter ]
[130]
Yep, move over, MAGA.
We got a new hat on the market.
[133]
There it is.
"It is what it is."
[137]
From there things escalated
when Swan directly confronted
[140]
Trump on the country's
COVID statistics
[142]
and Trump responded by
pulling out a bunch of charts.
[144]
Watch this.
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-United States is lowest
in numerous categories.
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We're lower than the world.
[153]
-Lower than the world?
-We're lower than --
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-In what? In what?
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-Take a look.
[159]
Right here.
[160]
Look.
Here is the United States.
[162]
You have to go by the cases.
[164]
You take the number of cases.
[166]
Look, we're last.
[167]
Meaning we're first.
Take a look.
[168]
Again, it's cases.
[171]
-Trump looks like every dad
looking at IKEA instructions.
[173]
This one -- hold on,
this was the -- wait.
[175]
You put the flugendorf
in the flugen.
[179]
No. I'm holding the flugen.
How can I put it in the --
[184]
Eventually Trump just tossed
500 pages into the air,
[186]
and when they landed,
he was gone.
[187]
[ Laughter ]
[189]
Can we see one
of Trump's charts again?
[192]
Swan was like, "Sir, that's just
the alignment page
[194]
from your printer."
[ Laughter ]
[197]
Okay. So his response to
the coronavirus questions
[200]
wasn't Trump's finest moment.
[202]
Let's see if he can bounce back.
[203]
Here's Swan asking about
civil rights icon John Lewis.
[206]
-How do you think history
will remember John Lewis?
[209]
-I don't know.
I really don't know.
[211]
I don't know.
I don't know John Lewis.
[214]
He chose not to come
to my inauguration.
[220]
-He can hold a grudge, huh?
[221]
You know Trump's probably
keeping stimulus checks
[223]
from all the kids
who didn't show up
[224]
to his 5th birthday party.
[227]
Trump's upset John Lewis
didn't come to his inauguration.
[229]
He was like,
"I hope he'd be there.
[231]
I even held 2 million seats
open for him."
[233]
[ Laughter ]
[236]
If all that wasn't bad enough,
for the second time
[238]
in two weeks,
Trump was asked for his thoughts
[240]
on Jeffrey Epstein's
former associate,
[242]
Ghislaine Maxwell,
and once again he said this.
[246]
-She's now in jail.
-Uh-huh.
[247]
-Yeah, I wish her well.
I'd wish you well.
[249]
I'd wish a lot of people well.
[250]
Good luck.
[251]
Let them prove
somebody was guilty.
[253]
Her boyfriend died in jail,
[255]
and people are trying to figure
out how did it happen?
[258]
Was it suicide? Was he killed?
[260]
And I do wish her well.
[261]
I'm not looking
for anything bad for her.
[263]
-Man, for a guy who owned
a bunch of casinos,
[266]
you think he'd know
when to stop doubling down.
[269]
Stop wishing her well.
[270]
She's an accused sex trafficker,
[272]
not a kid going off to college
for the first time.
[274]
He's so nice to
Ghislaine Maxwell,
[276]
which can only mean
she went to his inauguration.
[278]
[ Laughter ]
[282]
Yeah, a lot of people
are calling
[283]
Trump's interview a train wreck.
[284]
And get this. Apparently HBO had
to delete some of
[286]
the best moments for time.
[288]
But we managed to get our hands
on the footage.
[291]
Check this out.
[292]
鈾櫔
[296]
-How do you think history
will remember John Lewis?
[299]
-John Lewis, look, he didn't
come to my inauguration.
[302]
So I'm not a fan.
[303]
The Dalai Lama didn't
come either.
[305]
Neither did Mother Teresa.
[306]
She's very mean.
Very nasty to me.
[310]
She was.
[312]
I don't anything
about John Lewis.
[314]
For me, it goes, person, woman,
man, camera, TV,
[319]
and then way down the list
maybe John Lewis.
[323]
We'll see.
[324]
-The criticism of you
that is most prominent
[328]
is about the communication.
[329]
It's the public health experts
saying that it needs
[331]
to be based in reality.
[333]
-Look, it is based on reality.
[336]
What people don't realize
is America might have
[339]
a lot of Americans with COVID,
[340]
but we have very few
British people with COVID.
[344]
Unlike, by the way,
British land.
[348]
No one talks about that.
[349]
You won't report that.
[350]
Well, no, look, look at these --
look at these --
[353]
look at these charts here.
[357]
Very impressive.
[358]
Four colors.
[360]
I walked right into Kinko's,
I saw this chart on the wall,
[362]
I said, boom, that's the chart,
[364]
then the Kinko's guy
started with all this,
[366]
"Sir, that's just a sample chart
to demonstrate our printing,"
[369]
so there may be
some problems with Kinko's,
[371]
but we're looking into Staples.
[375]
We're looking into Office Max.
[379]
A lot of people are calling them
Stinko's, by the way.
[381]
People are dying.
That's right.
[383]
It is, as they say, what it is.
[386]
I love that saying.
It is what it is.
[388]
Or as they say in French --
people say, hakuna matata.
[391]
America, excuse me --
[393]
America is far lower
than the world.
[396]
-Lower than the world?
-That's right.
[398]
When other countries look at us,
they think, America,
[402]
lower than the world.
[404]
You know, we have some of
the best doctors around.
[408]
Great doctors.
[409]
Some even women doctors.
[412]
I call them nurses.
[413]
-The other day a reporter asked
you about Ghislaine Maxwell.
[416]
You said, "I just wish
her well, frankly."
[419]
-I do. I do wish her well.
[420]
I wish a lot of people well.
[422]
I actually sent her something
at, you know, the jail.
[426]
It was a bear, or as we call it,
a Build-A-Bear,
[429]
and when you squeeze
its hand, it says,
[432]
"Shh, snitches get stitches."
[435]
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
[436]
What even is Axios?
[439]
When I said I'd do this,
I thought I was going
[441]
to be interviewed by a cologne
bottle I saw at Neiman Marcus.
[445]
Axios by Jimmy Choo.
[447]
Sometimes I could put my --
I'll put my hands out like this.
[451]
Sometimes I give you two palms.
[452]
Sometimes I go in, out,
in, out, in, out.
[456]
-Sir, the the question was
how will you ensure hospitals
[459]
don't reach capacity?
[460]
-Well, no, look at these.
[462]
These are the latest numbers,
Jonathan.
[463]
Maybe you have more
up-to-date numbers.
[466]
You're Australian.
[467]
I know Australia is, what,
one day ahead
[470]
or is it two days ahead?
[471]
I haven't been to Europe
in a long time.
[473]
Who are you with again?
[475]
Axios Hollywood?
[476]
Why didn't they
send Mario Lopez?
[478]
I love Mario Lopez.
[481]
Everyone loves Mario Lopez.
[484]
-Interesting interview.
[485]
Yeah, it was a rough night
for Trump.
[487]
Unfortunately, things didn't get
much better for him today.
[489]
During a bill signing, he was
talking about national parks,
[493]
and he had a little trouble
reading the word Yosemite.
[496]
Watch this.
[496]
-We want every American child
[498]
to have access to pristine
outdoor spaces.
[501]
When they gaze upon Yo-semite's
towering sequoias.
[507]
[ Laughter ]
[514]
-"America's full of beauty,
from Yo-semite's..."
[517]
[ Laughter ]
[520]
"...National Park
to the mighty Miss-peepee River.
[524]
[ Laughter ]
[529]
"To the Appalachian Mountains
to New York's Viagra Falls."
[534]
[ Laughter ]
[536]
Alright.
Let's get to some other news.
[538]
Listen to this. I saw that Kraft
is replacing the word dinner
[542]
with breakfast on its iconic
blue macaroni and cheese box.
[545]
Look at this.
[546]
Yeah. For breakfast. Yeah.
[550]
I'm excited about it because now
I can finally stop
[551]
melting Kraft
singles on my Cheerios.
[553]
[ Laughter ]
[555]
Meanwhile, Velveeta is like,
[556]
"Who knew we'd be
the classy brand?"
[560]
Mac and cheese for breakfast.
[562]
In a related story,
the C.E.O. of Kraft
[564]
must be going
through a divorce.
[566]
And finally, this isn't good.
At a museum in Italy,
[569]
a tourist snapped three toes off
a 19th century statue
[573]
while posing for a photo.
[574]
Here's the moment
where it happened.
[576]
Check it out.
Oh, yeah.
[578]
When the security guard
saw three toes on the floor,
[580]
he was like,
"Okay, which three statues
[582]
are missing their penises?"
[583]
[ Laughter ]
[586]
Afterwards the tourist was like,
"It is what it is."
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