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SNL Commercial Parodies: Infomercials - YouTube
Channel: Saturday Night Live
[0]
-We'll show you how to master
classic Disney Channel moves,
[2]
like "Eating then Freezing"...
[6]
"Reacting to Stinky Feet"...
[8]
-Ew! Oh! I'm -- Ew!
[10]
-..."Spying in a Doorway"...
[13]
and "Entering on a Scooter."
[15]
-Did you hear
Cody's great-grandmother died!
[16]
-The funeral is Monday!
[20]
-Does this happen to you?
[23]
-[ Sighs ]
[24]
-Is your closet
an absolute mess?
[26]
Are you way too stupid
to keep your closet clean?
[29]
-Hey.
[29]
-Introducing the new
Zipco Closet Organizer.
[33]
Great for shoes, sweaters,
[35]
belts, hats,
[37]
parkas, jeans,
[39]
underwear, socks,
[41]
scarves, Dockers,
[42]
water,
[44]
blankets, lamps,
[46]
trophies, marbles,
[48]
phone books,
[50]
additional water,
[52]
loose peanut butter,
[53]
pie, pie, pie, pie, pie!
[56]
Listen to this testimonial.
[58]
-I got so laid last night.
I was at this club,
[60]
and I went up to
this really hot black girl,
[62]
and I was, like, "Hey,
anybody ever tell you
[64]
you look exactly like Beyoncé?"
And then I went in for the kiss,
[67]
and I noticed she had, like,
a full man's mustache.
[69]
And I was, like,
"Let's do this thing."
[72]
-It's so simple to use!
[75]
All it needs is two meals a day
[76]
and a little bucket
to do its business in!
[79]
Pillows, tires,
important papers,
[81]
glassware, animal feathers,
[84]
dirt, and cheese!
[89]
-A clean closet
is just a phone call away.
[91]
The Zipco Closet Organizer!
[93]
Available at Bergdorf Goodman
[95]
and the gift shop
at the Vatican!
[97]
Order one today!
[99]
[ Upbeat music plays ]
[100]
-Hi, there.
[102]
I'm Miley Cyrus
from "Hannah Montana."
[104]
-And, from "That's So Raven,"
I'm "So Raven"-Symoné.
[108]
-And if you're a teen actor
looking to improve your craft,
[110]
look no further.
[112]
It's the Disney Channel
Acting School.
[113]
At the Disney Channel
Acting School,
[115]
we'll teach you
all the skills you need
[117]
to be the star of your very own
Disney Channel show.
[120]
-Disney Channel Acting
is its own art form.
[123]
And to master it,
you're gonna need
[124]
a special set of tools.
[127]
On the Disney Channel
every person has to be
[129]
the loudest person in the room.
Watch.
[132]
What's wrong, Jamantha?
[134]
If I don't get an "A"
on my science project,
[137]
I can't go boogie-boarding
with Devon!
[139]
-Well, then you should
trick Thomas
[140]
into trading projects with you!
[142]
Good idea!!
[145]
In the Disney Channel world,
[147]
any child is smarter
than every adult.
[150]
-Hey, sweetie, you wanna see
my stamp collection?
[152]
Oh, gee, can I?
[155]
I bet they're super cool.
[ Chuckles ]
[158]
-Sweet niblets!
[159]
You'll also learn
advanced techniques
[161]
like the "Pause then Dis."
[163]
So, you have to pause
and then destroy the person.
[166]
Ask me if I like anchovies.
[168]
-Do you like --
-Ow!
[176]
[ Light clatter ]
[180]
I don't think so!
[183]
-Plus, we'll show you
[185]
how to master classic
Disney Channel moves,
[187]
like "Eating then Freezing"...
[190]
"Reacting to Stinky Feet"...
[192]
-Ew! Oh! I'm -- Ew!
[195]
-..."Spying in a Doorway"...
[198]
and "Entering on a Scooter."
[199]
-Did you hear
Cody's great-grandmother died!
[201]
-The funeral is Monday!
[203]
[ Clatter ]
[204]
-The Disney Channel
is all about sensory overload.
[207]
So you wanna make sure
your clothes are
[208]
as loud and crazy as you acting.
[210]
-I'm auditioning
for "Wizards of Waverly Place."
[212]
What should I wear?
[213]
-How about a bright pink hoodie
with a big-ass daisy on it.
[216]
-Isn't it a little bright?
[218]
-What you say?
[220]
-Let me show you this blouse
I wore on episode 75.
[223]
-Glasses on!
[225]
[ Bag unzips ]
[226]
[ Fire crackling ]
[228]
-That's so Raven!
-Shut up!
[230]
-So come on down to the
Disney Channel Acting School!
[234]
-Call today!
Parent permission not needed!
[238]
♪♪♪
[240]
-Opening jars.
[242]
Every time,
it's the same old story --
[245]
the twisting and turning,
the aching and spraining...
[249]
the scalding and burning...
[252]
the swinging and striking...
[256]
the panicking
[258]
and dragging...
[261]
the digging and burying...
[265]
the lying and stalling...
[269]
the resisting and tasing...
[271]
[ Taser crackles ]
[272]
...the convicting
and sentencing...
[275]
[ Gavel bangs ]
[277]
...the shackling
and imprisoning...
[281]
the studying and appealing...
[284]
the plotting and scheming...
[287]
[ Dogs barking ]
[289]
...the barking and the shooting.
[291]
[ Gunfire ]
[294]
-There's got to be a better way!
[296]
-Now there is!
[298]
Thanks to Jar Glove.
[300]
Jar Glove, the better way.
[303]
Oh.
[305]
-Now only $19.95,
plus shipping and handling.
[307]
[ Cheers and applause ]
[309]
Hi. I'm Dale Sturtevant.
[311]
I've been raising dogs
since I was 6.
[314]
And nothing has brought me more
joy or more sheer frustration,
[317]
than training a puppy.
[319]
With a very young pup,
correcting problem behavior
[321]
can be especially maddening.
[322]
And, like you, I've probably
tried all the tricks --
[325]
screaming myself hoarse,
starving them,
[327]
locking them in a closet
for days on end,
[330]
or just beating them
without mercy.
[332]
But after my third arrest
[333]
and court-ordered
anger-management counseling,
[336]
I learned to channel my rage
into an effective
[338]
non-violent puppy training tool.
[341]
It's called "Dissing Your Dog:
[343]
How to Train Your Puppy with
Mockery and Verbal Humiliation."
[347]
You see,
dogs are much more intuitive
[349]
than we give them credit for.
[350]
They know when they're
the butt of ridicule.
[352]
And when they misbehave,
a well-placed sarcastic comment
[355]
or cutting remark can work
wonders
[357]
where a rolled-up
newspaper fails.
[359]
Whatever your puppy's
behavior problem,
[361]
I guarantee
I can help you fix it.
[363]
Problems like...
[365]
Oh, no, no, no, Humphrey,
don't get up.
[368]
Why don't you just stay there
and relax.
[370]
After all, you did put in
a long day of work
[374]
at a demanding high-stress job.
[377]
Oh, no, wait a minute --
That's me! Now I remember!
[381]
I'm the one with the job.
[383]
You're the one who lies
around the house all day
[386]
in a pool of your own slobber!
[389]
[ Laughter ]
[393]
Hey, Walter!
Thanks for your "help"
[395]
with the new off-white sofa.
[396]
Everybody agrees
that dump you left there
[398]
was the perfect "accent."
So, good job.
[401]
Oh, and by the way,
Milton Berle called.
[403]
He wants his bladder control
back.
[405]
That's it! Good dog!
[409]
Oh, right, Margaret,
you wanted prime rib.
[412]
Here's the deal -- The Palm
wasn't taking reservations,
[415]
and I didn't even try Morton's
[417]
because I understand
they have a new chef.
[419]
So for now, let's just go
with the Alpo, okay?
[421]
I know it's not your first
choice, but keep in mind,
[424]
you're a [bleep] dog!
[426]
[ Laughter ]
[428]
♪♪♪
[434]
I'm so confident this program
works,
[436]
I want to send you Volume 1
of the five-part series
[438]
free of charge.
[440]
Once you've seen it,
I know you'll order the rest.
[442]
Right, Murphy, you brainless
sack of excrement?
[444]
[ Laughter ]
[446]
[ She's being punished.
[447]
Announcer:
To order "Dissing Your Dog,"
[449]
dial 1-800-555-0199. Call today.
[452]
Remember,
there's one thing stronger
[454]
than a dog's sense of smell --
his sense of irony.
[458]
♪♪♪
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