Never Host a Foreign Exchange Student! (what NOT to do) - YouTube

Have you ever wondered why in the world people open their homes to complete strangers in the name of education?

There are great reasons to host foreign exchange students, and not so great reasons.

In this video, I'll be sharing my top 5 reasons why NOT to be a host parent.

Plus, a true story, you might not believe. Coming up!

Hi, my name is Jenni with Host Family, Exchange Student Life.

And on this channel we help navigate through real life hosting and exchanging

to help you create an extraordinary experience.

Go ahead and subscribe. And at any time during the video you can check out show notes and links in the description below.

Let's get extraordinary!

If you're considering from the slice of over a million students studying here every year,

there's some things you should know about doing it WRONG.

And a good place to begin is with a check on your own intentions.

Here are my top 5 reasons NOT to host a foreign exchange student.

Reason number 5: You have a casual respect for the rules.

Now, in order for you and I to host, we must fill out paperwork, pass a background check,

learn program rules to live by, then, have a coordinator evaluation in our home.

This is simply to ensure safety for the student and provides peace of mind to the student's family

who's sending their child thousands of miles away from home.

Whether for a week or multiple years.

By abiding by the rules you are building the trust necessary to have an extraordinary year for everybody.

It benefits you, the student, their natural parents, the coordinator, the agency.

I've heard some pretty embarrassing stories of host parents breaking rules

that lead to agency action.

Rules such as other adults living in the home that shouldn't be there.

Drinking, drug abuse, police activity...

You know what? If you really don't think the rules are meant for you, don't bother hosting.

It's a waste of everyone's time. Think about this:

It's not particularly fun for a student to pack up and move from house to house

looking for a competent adult.

Do us all a favor. Keep the rules.

OK? OK. Thanks!

Reason number 4 NOT to host

is that you are looking to convert a student to your religion.

Now, most religions have love at it's root.

And if you love your student, love them enough not to make them attend your religious activities.

Most students sign paperwork declaring that they won't make any major life changes while abroad.

That makes sense, right? They're underage and away from family.

In the past, some of our foreign exchange student's friends have been required to attend religious things.

And that mostly makes things awkward, and turns them off to religion in general.

Our students appreciate knowing where we go as a family and we make it a regular point to do things together.

And they know they are welcome to come any place we go, religious or not.

They've expressed feeling respected for those choices and we trust them in our home while we're away.

So don't make them go to Church, OK? OK. Thanks!

Number 3

As a host, you're not running a hotel, or a boarding school and the student isn't just a roommate.

Hosting is more than just room, board and transportation.

Students come with the intent to be a part of a family and to learn and explore.

Number 3 is: Don't be the emotionally absent host parent.

You are in a position to invest care, and your own personal style of guidance.

Instead of indifference, make the time that they live with you to be one that you have good memories of.

Conversations, outings, sharing culture and food.

It just means that your lives are enhanced by doing things together as much or as little as you're comfortable.

For real. It's easier to be emotionally present than emotionally absent.

And flip that coin for reason number 2,

if your purpose of hosting is that you need your student to fill a void or friendship, or parenting, in an unhealthy way,

it's not a good fit at this time.

Don't host if you're emotionally needy.

Possibly, join a club, take a class, or try dating your significant other, or find a significant other.

When a host parent looks to the student as a way to fill a void.

That puts undue pressure on the student.

Awkwardness replaces respect which can lead to friction.

Nobody wants that!

So, don't host if you're emotionally needy. OK? OK. Thanks!

Reason number 1.

I know this is not applicable with every agency,

but some agencies provide host families with a stipend to cover the cost of room, board, and transportation.

Do not. I repeat, do not host for the money.

A stipend is a help in defraying cost of another individual living in the house, but shouldn't be the reason to host.

What we've heard from our exchange students friends is, what that looks like is,

students are watched closely to see how much they're eating at meal times, or,

food isn't available to them.

Other times, it's transportation to necessary places are denied, and other odd things.

But the truth is, students have a sense of when they're being used.

Ugh. Ugh! UGH!

Embarrassing to the home country!

Awkwardness prevails again. Get ready for some friction.

Hosting or exchanging isn't fun for anyone.

Just so you know, that if you host, you're going to be spending more money.

Most of that will go towards food, so expect that reflected in the grocery budget.

Along with water and electricity and some gas while driving them to important tests or activities.

Stipend money is meant to be spent on them,

so, don't host for the money. OK? OK. Thanks!

Like I promised, a true story.

I cannot believe I have to say this *sigh*

Students will come with their own spending money for discretionary items.

What money and belongings they have, belong to them.

One year our family was taking a break from hosting, but we got a call from

our coordinator to see if we'd take in a student the last 6 weeks of school.

After discussion and planning, we took her in.

We were her third home, just that year.

After a few weeks she opened up to me about her experiences.

In her first home, her things...her most expensive things

were disappearing from her locked room while she was at school. Just disappeared.

She spoke to her host family and they denied it.

The agency thought she might just be misplacing things, so nothing was done.

This went on for months.

Obviously, it wasn't her.

Her host family eventually confessed that

their dog was able to open locked doors.

Sounds like my dog ate my homework!?

And to add insult to injury, right before the agency finally moved her to the second home,

a package she ordered that was marked sucessfully delivered, never made it to her hands.

High five that dislike button if you are miffed at host families who exploit!!

There are my top 5 reasons NOT to host a foreign exchange student.

Don't sign up if you don't like the rules.

Don't host if you are trying to convert followers to your religion.

It's not a good time to host if you're vibe is emotionally absent or emotionally needy.

And if you do host, don't be a

if you think this is a way to line your pockets at another human being's expense.

But you and I aren't going to do that, so, everyone's good. Right? Right. Thanks!

Question of the day:

Are there other reasons you can think of that are not great reasons to host?

Place them in the comments below, I'd love to read them.

And thank you for checking out this video. Definitely subscribe for more.

You can check out our Candid Couch Conversation episode where we talk about why your student should leave your home and you can wear your pajamas all day (just kidding).

Until our next adventure

Host Family, Exchange Student Life is helping you navigate through real life hosting and exchanging.

Be extraordinary and we'll talk soon!