Kai Shappley: A Trans Girl Growing Up In Texas | Emmy-Winning Documentary | them. - YouTube

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[Music]
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[Applause]
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so tell me more about school
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what about the people in your class are
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they nice
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i want to apologize for saying something
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awfully rude
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for no reason
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one evening when we were getting our
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backpacks to
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go and my teacher said girls get your
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backpacks
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um with girl and lucy she said
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no you're not a girl you're a butch man
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you're upset
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then another girl she just shouts out
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kind of on
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um and i say no
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now yell right back at her when i say it
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you did
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so the only bathroom that she's allowed
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to use at the school was locked again
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so she can't even use the nurses office
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it's gonna take too long to get there
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because it's
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all the way at the front yeah
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it's been a rough school year but your
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friends take up for you right
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that's good i'm glad you have friends
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now we wait do you think we need one
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more coat of this no that looks pretty
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good
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it's fine too well i could do another
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coat yeah
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no it's fine
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[Music]
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[Music]
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my earliest memories of kai from the
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very beginning was
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this child just acted very
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different than my other boys
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[Music]
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you know what the best thing i can do to
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cats is i'm not just a cat lover
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but i can make the cats love me
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[Music]
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the kind of baby that kai was was very
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similar to
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my daughter all the little pieces
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were there very early
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i just i didn't know what it was that i
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was looking at
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[Music]
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hey mama i'm going to buy a garden bowl
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for you
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when you wear it when you have it on
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your hair
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you water some um on it and it turned
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into a plate
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a plant bow and the gross flowers when
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you put water on it
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i wish i could have that bow
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by two and a half three years old
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everything was very
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feminine by three and a half kai was
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saying you know i'm a girl mommy
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you know i'm a girl
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[Music]
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the bible is for everyone to know
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to be kind and loving and caring
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isn't that my t-shirt yes i'm using it
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as a dress like myself
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well that's my t-shirt
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are you going to sleep
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hey mommy mommy
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come on okay let's get your hair done
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and get it okay
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[Music]
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they're so crazy
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can you pull your messy bun out you want
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to just wear them down
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you went down pigtails like this you
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know
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mama is a really good boy mom
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you deserve a way better girl mom
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[Laughter]
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and corey didn't ever want her hair
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fixed like this
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she wasn't as girly as you are well now
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she might be
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now she might be we just don't know
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we just don't know where's your bible
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i have it my pink bible i have two
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bibles i have three bibles
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isn't that amazing i have three bibles
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what's your favorite book in the bible
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her pretty necklace she became queen
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because of her story because she helped
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people
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and let's see that's basically it
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[Music]
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okay hi caleb who's praying
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it's not my turn good morning lord
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this is the day that you have made and
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we will rejoice and be glad in it
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yes we will we ask that you
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and pray for donald trump
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to be nice
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we always pray for donald trump and lord
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we do pray for our leaders we ask you
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remove the wrong people
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and you replace them with the right
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people in jesus name
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amen okay
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amen
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[Music]
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it's hard when people that i've known
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and served with in church
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for many years who know that i love the
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lord
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to suddenly because my daughter was born
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transgender
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they suddenly
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i think that i've you know
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allowed satan to take over my family um
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so i guess it's just being watchful to
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see
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which side of civil rights history my
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church is going to be on
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i think that that's something that i
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have to be mindful of as well
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[Music]
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when kai was born i was leading
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a ministry at lakewood church leading
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bible study every saturday night
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attending church and serving as a prayer
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partner every sunday
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i was a straight ticket republican a tea
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partier
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my beliefs about the lgbtq community
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were that you know we needed to help
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them see the truth
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to save them from going to hell
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i remember even thinking before kai was
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three
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that i think this kid might be gay
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and i thought that that could not happen
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and that would not happen we started
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praying fervently
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prayers turned into googling conversion
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therapy and how can we implement
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these techniques at home to make kai
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not be like this
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putting her in time out for acting like
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a girl putting her in time out for
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stealing girl toys
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spanking her
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really spanking her every time
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she would say you know i'm a girl
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no matter what the consequences she's
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persisting in the fact
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that you should already know she's a
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girl
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when kai was about four years old she
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prayed to go home and be with jesus and
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never come back
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father god jesus name help my friends
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and family be
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kind be good
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love each other and become and
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courage and love amen
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my kid was praying to die
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[Music]
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all of the information and data that i
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had read about transgender children
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having a 41
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risk of attempting suicide came flooding
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back and i realized that i had a
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four-year-old
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that was begging the lord to let her die
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i had a four-year-old who would rather
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go be with jesus forever
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then stay here and have to live as a boy
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one more day
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[Music]
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i know you do but everybody does these
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orange
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things are fish eggs i don't know why i
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like them
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they're pretty good they're they're the
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best touch on it
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they aren't um
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[Music]
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um
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[Music]
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we'll really have to
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i don't know i don't think sleep rubbers
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are a good idea why
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not everybody understands what trans is
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let me think about it
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we'll talk to miss gladys when i get
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back
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we will talk about it okay
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literally my love is so strong for cats
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that make them love me so much that
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sometimes they even
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follow me i'm gonna raise
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thousands of cats fill up my whole house
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with
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kitty cats
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tell me about your school well
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they do do something mean to me
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sometimes
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the school so miss walker the
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principal um her boss
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says i cannot use a woman's bathroom
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so i have to use a bathroom that um
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just to make me feel good they put two
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girls to go with me
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and that still doesn't help because
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um i sometimes have
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accidents because um the door locks
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when it closes and people um
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they they just put a magnet to keep the
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door open
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that doesn't work people keep stealing
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magnets for their
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teachers and i'm like holy jesus
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and then they do nothing about it and so
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i have accidents a lot some of us
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that that happens to us um
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we have accidents and how do you feel
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when you have an accident
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i feel embarrassed
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this shouldn't happen and it wasn't my
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fault it was
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the principal's boss's fault
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not mine
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because other girls get to go to the
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woman the girl's bathroom
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and i don't get to and i'm a girl
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so i should go to the girls bathroom
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just minutes ago the texas house voted
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for a so-called
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bathroom bill the bill would require
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students to use the bathroom that
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corresponds with the gender on their
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birth certificate
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it's not a controversial bill and it
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doesn't impact our economy so we just
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want to get it right
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and it's just texas values you deserve
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your privacy
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you deserve your dignity you deserve
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your comfort
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and your safety when you go to the
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ladies room or the locker room or the
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girls bathroom
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in the beginning we were going to be
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stealth
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no one was going to need to ever know
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that kai was trans
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and it actually went pretty well at the
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school i felt confident
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and then the bathroom bill chatter
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started
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and then the superintendent
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notified kai school that that is not the
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way it would happen
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and then i got the phone call from the
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school saying kai will have to use the
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boys restroom
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we need a law that protects the privacy
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of our children in our public schools
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i need to know that i can have the same
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expectation of privacy
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no matter where i am in the state of
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texas
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it's just common sense and common
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decency we don't want
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men in women's ladies rooms this had
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nothing to do with equal rights
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i got the phone call from the school
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early in the morning on a thursday
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by the evening the same day i was
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sitting
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at fox news doing an interview by the
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next
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tuesday just a few days later i was
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speaking at a press conference in austin
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[Music]
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to the lgbtq community i want to say
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i'm sorry
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i'm sorry for every time that i plucked
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a bible verse out of context
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and i hurt you with it i was a hateful
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reflection
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of a loving god please forgive me
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this is the face of a transgender child
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in texas
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and i want you to look at this little
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girl my little girl
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do we as a state really want to force
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her into a men's bathroom
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kai is the strongest willed
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person i have ever known
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i don't think any one thing could have
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broken me
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if kai wasn't such a strong-willed
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little kid
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i would have broken her
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me being broken put me together better
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but if i had succeeded at breaking my
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daughter
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the statistics say that it wouldn't
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have turned out well for her
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when my mom let me start being a girl
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it was
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more than amazing
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it was
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gorgeous it was amazing it was
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the best thing that happened to me so
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far in my life
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[Music]
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b
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[Music]
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you