4 Steps To Finding the Best Divorce Attorney - YouTube

One of the most frequently asked questions I get is, “How do I find the right attorney?”

In this video, I'm going to take you through all the steps

so that you feel confident you're hiring the right divorce attorney.

But first, will you do me a favor and subscribe to my channel?

That's how these videos are going to get in front of more

of the people who really need to find this information.

I'm Victoria McCooey. I'm a narcissist divorce coach,

a motivational speaker and the creator of The Reclaim Your Power System™.

I help people every day who are right where you are:

stuck in a toxic marriage to a narcissistic spouse

or already engaged in a contentious divorce from one.

Okay. So you want to leave your narcissistic spouse

but you know you need to find the right attorney.

I have boiled this down to a four step process.

Step one is to search online.

There are some sites you can go to.

One is AVVO.com and the other is Superlawyers.com.

Or you can just search divorce lawyers in your area.

Here are the three things you're looking for:

You want to find a lawyer who specializes in family law.

You want to find someone who's been doing it for a good amount of time.

And you want to read the reviews and see what other people have to say about their experiences.

The second step is to book three consultations.

You want to meet with three different attorneys.

So pick the three that you think fit all of the criteria the best

and then call and schedule the appointments.

Yes, they may charge you, and it may seem like a lot.

But it's money well spent.

I suggest to people that they meet with three different attorneys

because you might meet with one and go,

oh, this guy's great, or this woman's perfect,

or you know, I don't need to look anymore because they seem great.

And then they go to a second one and that one's even better.

So if you see three different attorneys,

you get sort of a good, better, best scenario going,

and it helps you make your decision.

Here's a pro tip. if you consult with an attorney,

then your spouse cannot hire that attorney.

So if there's like, the bulldog in your area who everyone goes to,

but they're so expensive that you don't think you could ever afford them,

have a consultation with that lawyer.

Even if you don't retain that lawyer for your own divorce,

once you've consulted with them, now they have too much information.

It would be a conflict of interest. They can never represent your spouse in your divorce.

Another tip when you're calling to make these appointments,

make a note, make a mental note of the staff that's taking the appointment for you.

You're going to be dealing with them a lot if you hire this attorney.

So how are they toward you? Are they friendly?

Are they efficient? Like, what's their demeanor?

You want their front office to be staffed by people that you think are doing a good job.

The third step is to have the consultation and ask specific questions.

Here's a list. What are their fees?

Who else in their office will you be working with?

Normally, when you have your consultation, you're meeting with the head of the firm

but are you going to be working with the head of the firm?

Sometimes, the head of the firm only goes to court or doesn't go to court at all.

Maybe you're only going to be meeting with an associate.

If so, who's that? If you're going to be spending a lot of time with another attorney,

you'd want to meet that attorney as well. What are their fees?

What about paralegals? Will the paralegals be doing work for you?

What are those fees? Here's a question I love to ask attorneys.

Why did you decide to go into family law?

Let's get a little backstory on what they're history is, why they chose this field.

And here's my favorite question.

What was the most contentious divorce you ever worked on and how is it resolved?

This is going to give you such insight into the level of contention they've dealt with

and what kind of thinking they had, out of the box thinking on it.

What was their strategy?

You know, your divorce is going to be very contentious.

So this is a great way to get an idea of how they're going to work under those conditions.

And also, you want to ask about their availability.

Are they spread really thin? Of course, they're not going to tell you that,

but ask what their turnaround time is.

If you call or email, how long should you expect to wait for a reply.

Step four, as soon as you finish your consultation,

you leave the office, get in your car,

I want you to grade the attorney in all these different areas.

So on a scale of one to ten, give them a grade,

a number grade, in each of these categories.

How confident were they speaking to you?

How were they listening skills? Were they really paying attention to what you were saying?

How is their out of the box thinking? Did you feel like their answers were just wrote, routine?

Or were they really thinking of innovative ways of dealing with what you were talking about?

How was their delivery? Did they speak to you in pompous legal-ease that was hard to understand?

Or did they speak in terms that you could identify with?

You know, was it easy to understand what they were telling you?

And finally, personality. Did you like them?

Did you get along with them? I mean, you don't have to be best friends,

but you don't want to be afraid of your own attorney.

You don't want to feel uncomfortable. You don't want to be made to feel unimportant.

You know, how did you get along with the attorney?

So add up all the scores and that is that attorney's grade.

Now when you've seen three different attorneys,

you have three different grades

and hopefully that will help you make your decision on which one to hire.

A lot of people get very nervous about pulling the trigger on

making that decision to hire an attorney.

They get analysis paralysis.

You know, they overthink, they wait too long.

They go on and on worrying about it analyzing.

But it's a big decision. But if you make a wrong decision

or if you find out later that it's not a good fit,

you can change attorneys. People do it all the time.

So I hope this helps wrangle all the fears around finding the right attorney.

If you're in this spot, if you're thinking about divorcing a narcissistic spouse,

and you want some help, you can book a call with me.

There will be a link in the description below.

Did you find this information helpful? I hope you did.

If you liked this video, will you please give it a thumbs up and don't forget to subscribe.

Thanks so much for watching. I've linked a couple of other

videos here that I think you might also like,

so I hope I see you in the next video.