Nursing Home - SNL - YouTube

>>> HEY GRAMMY. >> LIKE YOUR SHOES, GRAMMY.

THOSE ARE SHARP. >> I'M REALLY GLAD YOU BOTH CAME

BY TO VISIT MAUREEN. I KNOW THIS IS A LONG DRIVE FOR

YOU TWO. >> OF COURSE, DOCTOR.

WE'VE GOT TO MAKE SURE GRAMMY KNOWS WE STILL CARE ABOUT HER.

>> SO HOW'S SHE BEEN? IS SHE ADJUSTING OKAY?

>> SHE'S GETTING ALONG JUST FINE, MS. CONNOR.

>> ARE YOU MAKING ANY FRIENDS YET, GRAMMY?

>> OH, SHE'S MAKING PLENTY OF FRIENDS.

>> SHE KIND OF SEEMS A LITTLE OUT OF IT TODAY.

IS SHE ALL RIGHT? >> OH, SHE'S FINE.

SHE'S A LITTLE GRUMPY BECAUSE SHE JUST GOT HER PENICILLIN

SHOT. SHE DOESN'T EXACTLY LOVE

NEEDLES. >> PENCILIN?

WHAT'S WRONG? >> JUST A LITTLE GONORRHEA.

WELL I'LL YOU THREE ALONE TO -- >> WHAT?

>> GONORRHEA? [ LAUGHTER ]

>> THERE IS NO NEED TO PANIC. IT'S VERY TREATABLE.

IT SHOULD BE CLEARED UP IN A WEEK OR SO.

>> HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? >> WE THINK SEX.

>> SHE'S 91 YEARS OLD. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> MS. CONNOR, YOUR GRANDMOTHER MAY BE 91 BUT SHE STILL HAS A

VERY ACTIVE SEX LIFE. >> SO YOU LET THEM HAVE SEX

HERE? >> SHE'S AN ADULT WOMAN OF SOUND

MIND. SHE CAN DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS.

CASUAL SEX BETWEEN RESIDENTS IS VERY COMMON IN NURSING HOMES.

IT'S REALLY NOT THAT BIG A DEAL. >> WELL I MEAN, CAN'T YOU AT

LEAST GIVE THEM PROTECTION SO THAT THEY ARE SAFE?

>> OF COURSE, BUT WE CAN'T MAKE THEM USE IT.

WE CAN BARELY GET THEM TO PUT IN THEIR TEETH.

YOU KNOW HOW STUBBORN YOUR GRANDMA CAN BE.

>> WHICH ONE OF THESE GROSS OLD DUDES GAVE MY GRANDMA GONORRHEA?

>> THIS TIME, WE DON'T KNOW. >> WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS TIME?

SHE GOT IT MORE THAN ONCE? >> EIGHT.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> SHE GOT GONORRHEA EIGHT

TIMES? >> WE'RE NOT EXACTLY SURE WHO IS

GIVING IT TO WHOM AT THIS POINT. THERE'S SORT OF A ROUND ROBIN

SITUATION BETWEEN HER AND SIX OR SO OTHER RESIDENTS.

>> THEY ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HER.

>> BELIEVE ME, NOBODY IS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HER, MISS CONNOR.

THEY'RE RUNNING A TRAIN, BUT SHE'S THE CONDUCTOR.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> THEY'RE ALL IN THERE AT THE

SAME TIME? >> WOULD IT MAKE YOU FEEL ANY

BETTER IF I SAID NO? >> YES, IT WOULD.

>>> SEE. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> GRAMMY, HOW COULD YOU? >> MISS CONNOR, RELAX.

IT IS A ACTUALLY REALLY SWEET. AFTER EVERY ENCOUNTER, THE

GENTLEMEN EVEN LEAVE HER A SINGLE ROSE.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> OH, MY GOD.

ALL OF THAT IS FOR SEX? DOCTOR, WHAT CAN WE DO TO STOP

THIS? >> SHE'S NOT DOING ANYTHING

WRONG. AND FRANKLY, IT IS GREAT FOR

MORALE. SINCE MAUREEN HAS JOINED THE

HOME, RIOTS HAVE BEEN WAY DOWN. [ LAUGHTER ]

FROM THE RESIDENTS TO THE STAFF, EVERYONE IS HAPPIER WITH MAUREEN

AROUND. >> SHE'S NOT SLEEPING WITH

STAFF, TOO? >> WOULD IT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER

IF I SAID NO? [ LAUGHTER ]

>> YES. >> I SEE.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> THAT'S IT.

WE ARE TAKING HER OUT OF THIS NURSING HOME.

>> YOU CAN'T DO THAT. >> WHY CAN'T WE?

>> BECAUSE SHE'S ASLEEP. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> OKAY, WELL THEN WHEN SHE WAKES UP.

>> ALL RIGHT, FINE. BUT IT'S STILL GOING TO HAPPEN.

JUST SOMEWHERE ELSE. YOUR GRANDMA LIKES TO BANG.

JUST LET HER. LOOK GETTING OLD IS TOUGH.

IT CAN GET LONELY HERE. A LOT OF THE RESIDENTS HERE WANT

TO GIVE UP ON LIFE. >> OH.

>> WOW. >> BUT THEN WE SEND YOUR

GRANDMOTHER TO THEIR ROOM. AND SHE CONVINCES THEM THAT

THERE IS STILL A REASON TO GO ON LIVING LIKE ONLY SHE CAN.

BY LETTING HER GO NUTS ON THEM. >> DUDE, THAT IS DISGUSTING.

>> WAIT. MAYBE HE'S RIGHT.

>> I MEAN IF IT MEANS THAT MUCH TO THE HOME AND GRAMMY IS HAPPY,

THEN FINE BY ME. >> ME TOO.

>> ME TOO. HA HA.

>> OH, GRAMMY! [ APPLAUSE ]