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Do Not Read: Nuclear Heartland, Cooking with Coke | The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon - YouTube
Channel: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
[0]
-Welcome back, everybody.
[2]
Thank you for watching
"The Tonight Show."
[3]
I'm about to show you some books
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that you should avoid
at all costs.
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It's time
for the latest installment of my
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Do Not Read list.
Here we go.
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♪ Do not read, do not read ♪
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♪ Do not read these books,
these books ♪
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-Now, before we start,
I just want you to know
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that every book that I'm about
to show you is 100% real.
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These are actual books that
you can find them on Amazon
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or check them out
at your local library.
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They are real.
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All right, let's see what's on
my Do Not Read list.
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This first one is a joke book.
-Oh, great.
[28]
Love jokes.
-Yeah, that's right up my alley.
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This one's called
"The Humour of Germany."
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[ Laughter ]
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Well, it's a hilarious cover.
Already, the cover's funny.
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-Yeah.
What year was --
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I just want to know
what year that's from.
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[ Laughter ]
[44]
-They have some classics
in here.
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-Oh, okay.
-Yeah, here.
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How about this classic
right here?
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A chapter -- "The Incarceration
of Herr Professor."
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[ Laughter ]
[52]
Sounds hilarious.
I'll give it a read.
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-[ German accent ] It's funny!
[ Laughter ]
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-Next up is a cookbook.
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-[ Normal voice ]
Oh, I love cookbooks.
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-I have a great collection
of cookbooks.
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-You do?
-Yeah.
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This one is
"500 Tasty Sandwich Recipes."
[64]
-Mmm.
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-Look at how tasty
that one looks.
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[ Laughter and groans ]
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-Oh!
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Wow!
What?
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That's a sandwich?
-A good asparagus sandwich.
[74]
-Mmm!
-Open face.
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-Oh, put it in the toaster oven.
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-Name what sandwich that is.
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[ Laughter ]
-Oh. The pimento loaf --
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-There's a surprise at the end.
[ Laughter ]
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What do they have in here?
-It's called da laundry lint.
[88]
-Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
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Oh, my goodness.
Look at this.
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They have
ham and peanut butter sandwich.
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-Oh.
-Ham and raisin.
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Pot--
Potted meat.
[97]
-Ugh.
[ Laughter ]
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Mmm, tasty!
-That's pretty good.
[100]
Potted meat, yeah.
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Next up is an activity book
for kids.
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-Oh, great.
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-It's called "101 Things
for Girls To Do."
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-Mm-hmm.
[ Laughter ]
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-I have girls.
This might be great for them.
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-What can they do?
-Let's see what they can do.
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How to sharpen scissors.
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[ Laughter ]
[121]
-What?
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And then run with them.
-Yeah.
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There's other things to do.
There's other things to do.
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Next up is a travel book.
-Oh, I love travel.
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-A lot of people are looking
forward to just
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getting out there traveling,
people who are looking
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to take the family road trip.
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Check this out here.
This is called
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"Nuclear Heartland:
A guide to the 1,000
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Missile Silos
of the United States."
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-Mm.
[ Laughter ]
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I can't wait.
-Let's take a look inside here.
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This one says,
"A Family Outing," here.
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It says, "A Family Outing."
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"We sat, my wife, our three
children, myself, and our dog.
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A few hundred feet away
was a Minuteman missile
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tipped with a warhead
containing an explosive force
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of 1.2 million tons of TNT.
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It hummed during the night."
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[ Laughter ]
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Sounds like a dream family vac--
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You won't forget
that vacation too soon.
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-No, it'll be -- every time
the child closes his eyes,
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he'll remember that vacation.
[ Laughter ]
[172]
"Why am I radioactive?"
[ Laughter ]
[174]
-All right.
Next is a cookbook called
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"Cooking with Coke."
-Oh, is it by Don Jr.?
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[ Laughter ]
-No, it's --
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♪♪
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-Coca-Cola.
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No, the soft --
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"Cooking with --"
"Cooking with Coke."
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Yeah, here we go.
"Cooking with Coca-Cola."
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-Coca-Cola, okay.
-"Cooking with Coke."
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-My mistake.
-"Cooking with Coke."
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-I feel like
a real Peter Douchey.
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-Here's a, uh --
[ Laughter ]
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-Doocy.
-Doocy, sorry.
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Here's a recipe.
Here's sweet and spicy
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shrimp tacos with mango salsa.
-Mmm.
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-Uh, I don't know about
the mango salsa.
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I don't want
the mango overpowering
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the shrimp and Coke.
[ Laughter ]
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'Cause that's just a combo.
-Yeah.
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-That's up there with, like,
ham and raisins.
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-Yeah, I love ham, raisins,
and Coke.
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-We're down to our last book.
It's a self-help book.
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-Oh, I love self-help.
-Yeah.
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This is called "A Guided
Meditation for Beginners."
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-Oh, that's great.
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-We could all use this
right now.
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-Yeah.
-Let's see what tips
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they have for us here.
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-Okay. What's page one?
-Here we go.
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This first page says, "Inhale."
[ Laughter ]
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-Okay.
-Next one says, "Exhale."
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-It's the whole book.
[ Cheers and applause ]
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That's all the time we have
for "Do Not Read."
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If you have a book you think
should be on our next
[257]
"Do Not Read" list,
send your title to
[258]
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