Office Exam Aur Vaccine | Ashish Chanchlani - YouTube

This is a fictional video.

It is just for entertainment purpose.

So, please do not repeat this in real life.

This video has cuss words.

So, I'm not responsible if your parents scold you.

Who is Kareena ma'am amongst you?

Alright. You have been summoned.

Kareena, go.

Go, Kareena. - Kareena go.

Kareena go.

Oh God! I'm tired of this now.

Kareena Go Kareena!

Kareena Go Kareena!

Kareena Go Kareena!

Kareena Go Kareena! - Hey.

What's happening?

I'll be here in five minutes.

Kareena Go.

I mean come.

The lockdown has ruined the sleeping schedule.

If he comes here and lectures us...

...and I fall asleep or if I die...

...please just inform my family.

So, finally guys...

...we are back in business after lockdown.

So, firstly let's applaud for us as we have survived the lockdown.

What's this?

Sir, sorry sir. I...

I'm used to the lockdown. So...

Sorry.

We used to distribute pamphlets at every household.

And me, with the help of my fingers...

...have helped each brand progress digitally.

And made it popular. That's why we are called...

We have hard working employees like Kunal.

Jadoo, Ashish.

Ritesh, Kareena.

Not you. Kunal.

You did a great job.

He was logging in for 18 hours during the work from home.

I mean, you know. Kunal...

...you have that in you. - What?

When do you sleep, bro?

You work so hard.

Ashish, are you done with your work?

Yes, I have cleaned the floor, you have to mop it. - Hey.

Sorry, sir.

I'm so sorry. I got habitual to it during the lockdown.

Alright.

"Pick up your phone."

"Pick up your phone." - Sorry, sir.

Hello.

Mom, the utensils are drying on the terrace.

The tomatoes are kept in the washing machine for sanitizing.

Chickoo? From where should I get it?

Alright, my brother.

Where else can he be? A garbage should be thrown in the dustbin, right?

Uncle's eggs are broken?

Aunt is crying?

Mom, I know a friend. He will give you eggs.

He owns a poultry farm mom.

Chickoo's leg is struck in a fan?

Oh Mom! Mom.

Mom, stop crying. I'm sitting here.

I'll repair it. I know a person...

...that can repair the fan. Okay. Don't worry.

Ashish sir, may I speak?

Sorry, sir. Because of the lockdown the house...

So, the good news is we have...

...a new brand on board.

'Chuttiya.'

I'm sorry, sir.

What did you just say?

'Chuttiya.' - What?

'Chuttiya.' - What?

'Chuttiya.' - Jadoo, he is talking to you.

Shut up.

The brand name is 'Chuttiya.'

Hair. Ponies.

This is for the people who have baldness...

...and hair growth problems. We have...

...to target that audience in the market.

It means it's a layman's job.

Shut up.

So, in order to promote 'Chuttiya'...

'I'm used to eating in every half an hour during the lockdown.'

'When will we get a break.'

On YouTube, I guess we should focus...

'Stop it, you fool. Will we die of hunger now?'

Ashish.

What are you doing? - Sir, that AC...

I'm switching on the AC.

With the TV remote?

So, Tanishwar. Go ahead...

...and present your views.

Jadoo.

I'm very hungry.

I can see food in everything.

Please help me, Jadoo.

Hey, are you crazy?

Sir, the brands are the bread and butter of our company.

Bread butter. Jadoo, I want to eat bread and butter.

So, in order to grow the business, we need to jam with them.

Jam.

The profits discovered from the last brands...

...were like peanuts.

Peanuts!

Because sir, it was not our cup of tea.

Tea!

But, sir. We can always have the piece of the pie.

Pie!

Our clients will go bananas.

Bananas!

The rest of the journey will be a cake walk for us.

Cake! I want to eat cake!

Jadoo.

Very nice. Kunal...

I'll be back in a minute.

Till then, wrap up everything. - 'Sure.'

Rascal, can't you speak in a simple language?

Bread, butter, jam, peanut...

...tea, etc.

The illegitimate child of Sanjeev Kapoor...

...is this is a marketing meeting or Khana Khazana?

Bro, why are you eating my head?

You are talking about food again...

Bro, if the pumpkin is cut, it will be divided amongst everyone.

Were you born in the kitchen, you rascal?

Oh, the food was so good. Now that I had my food.

I want to go out now.

Let me wear my mask.

Your mask is amazing, bro.

Where did you buy from?

From Ulhasnagar.

Is this a filter?

Are you crazy? This is my mask.

This is the volume button. It adjusts the volume.

Shall I show you? - Yes.

Listen.

Hey boss, your...

Do it again.

Hey boss, your...

Amazing!

Please let me try.

He can't hear. Please give me one.

This is so nice. - Yes.

Try it once.

No. Not now. Hold on.

Come on.

Hey boss, you are a fool.

You are rascal.

Look, a student's life is as cheap as a ball pen.

I mean, we have to come to the college.

We have to pay the fees.

We have to appear for the exams during Covid.

I mean if you want to trouble us. You can do it anyway. What's the need for exams?

I mean, we were sitting at our house in pyjamas...

...we were having fun and...

...they didn't even allow us to enjoy the lockdown.

They used to say that the college will re-open tomorrow.

We didn't enjoy after worrying about it.

Then one day they announce that the exams are tomorrow.

I mean, are you poking fun at us?

Oh man, hit me.

Hit me! Come, hit me.

Hey, not like this...

Hold on.

Hey! Hold on.

I didn't tell you to hit so much.

It's 2020, you fools.

Rascal.

Hey, do you know?

I have studied only Chapter 2, 5 and 8.

And what about the others?

Hey, a gap of two chapters between each other.

Social distancing.

Hey! - Hey!

And what about the chapters after 8?

Hey, only three chapters can be together from one textbook.

Social distancing.

Hey. - Hey.

Bro, for how many marks are the MCQs?

50.

Hey, the paper is of 40 marks.

Oh, Malinga. Sorry, I saw 50 runs...

You know I'm playing MPL. So, I'm focusing on that.

Do you know this is MPL.

This is the IPL of gaming.

You can earn money by playing the running game.

And you can transfer that money to ourselves through Paytm.

Now tell me something new.

That's amazing! I guess you are my subscriber and you watch all the videos.

The MPL has now started the Fantasy Cricket League.

You can create you own team and...

...you will get points according the player's performance...

...and you can earn money.

Let me tell you the best part. This time MPL...

...has the season pass. You have to just buy the season pass once...

...and you can play the entire league for Free.

Hey.

Do you want to promote before your exams?

Get inside. Sir is coming.

Okay. Attitude.

This watchman...

...spits paan while wearing the mask...

...and then he says that why is mouth is red.

Hey. Corona. Bat.

Hey, that's a pigeon.

What should I do? I think every flying thing is a bat since lockdown.

Let me find this bat soup person. I'll teach him a lesson.

Come.

Hey, I'm worried. How is this arrangement?

We can't even copy because of the corona.

Jadoo, how will we copy?

If I show you the paper, you can't even see it.

Yes. You are too far.

Hey, not like that.

How can you see when I don't write anything.

You rascal.

And look at Rohit.

He has been quarantined separately in the exam centre.

Hey, don't worry. I'm positive.

Hey.

I mean, I'm negative but my attitude is positive.

It's attitude.

You should speak the complete sentence.

Hey, why are you laughing?

Sir, you are naked.

The online lectures has ruined everything. You fool.

Hey, stop laughing. I'll be back.

Hey, what?

Sir, I have one doubt. Why only few of us are called here?

Dear, what we have done is the students that are super talented, multi talented...

...smart, sensible, Einstein like students that will be the future of the nation...

...has been asked to stay at home.

And the rest of the useless, fools...

...rascals, unemployed, shameless, people...

...that can't do anything in life...

...those dumb heads... - Hey, stop it, sir.

The thing is, you are the future of our nation.

Wow! He is praising.

And I'm worried about the future.

Oh, he is humiliating us.

So, our college applied this rule...

...and have called you people here.

Alright, I guess this rule is applied to teachers as well.

So, only sir is present in the college.

Hey. Be quiet.

Sorry, sir. I'll pay the fees.

I'll not talk to your daughter as well. Sorry.

Daughter.

You are the one that talk to my daughter till 1 o'clock?

Yes, sir. We spoke till 1:30 yesterday and then fell asleep.

Hey, you are lying, Ashu.

She was talking to me till 2 in the night.

Hey, she said good night to me at 3 at night.

She was talking to me on the video call till 3:45.

Hey, do you deserve her...

Hey, you...

You ruin everything.

Hey.

Shameless students.

He is your teacher.

Sir, she was talking to me...

...till 5 in the morning.

Hey, get out.

I'll fail each one of you.

And your time starts now.

'Everybody has worn the mask.'

'Now let's start to copy.'

Hey, who is talking?

Who is talking?

Come on, write the answer of the first question. Electrolysis...

...is the passing of direct electric current through an electrolyte...

Where is this noise coming from?

Leave it. He can't understand...

...write your answers.

Look behind.

I have a doubt on you.

Open your mouth.

Not he. It's me.

Hey.

I'm asking you one last time. Who is copying?

There are lots of electrons in an atom.

Hey, he is a girl. - Oh, sorry.

Now if you want to distinguish between those electrons...

Hey, he is a boy.

Then we need to name them...

Hey, look here.

By principal quantum number...

Hey, blind and deaf teacher, it's me.

We actually mean the that probability of finding the electron is high...

...within that particular radius.

The first answer is over.

Sir.

Thank you.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you, sir. The paper was very difficult.

Yes.

Finally.

I got the vaccine..

Goodbye, my friend.

Hey, bro. The corona...

...is gone. The vaccine is here.

I have the vaccine.

Rohit, my life.

Come here.

Remove your mask.

Cough on me. - No.

Come on, sneeze on me, baby. - No. Leave me.

Sneeze on me, baby. Come on.

I got the vaccine. Give me some...

...sanitizer. Come to me.

Hey, come let me kiss you.

Tea, cold drinks.

Tea vendor.

Tea in the comments.

Pani puri seller.

I missed you during the lockdown.

Remove your mask. Come on.

We don't need this bad omen.

Vada Pav seller. I missed you so much.

Come close to me.

Come close to me, baby.

Oh yeah. You're my queen, baby.

Yes, daddy. - You're my queen, baby.

Yes, daddy. - And you are king baby.

Yes, daddy.

The salty chillies of your 'bhel.'

The crunchy 'puris' of your pani puri.

We will eat...

...till there are diseases.

Till there are diseases.

Hey, what is this?

Such a clean cloth?

Hey.

The floor mopping cloth. Have you cleaned you bathroom with this?

Clean the knife with this. Come on.

Hey, what is this?

Paper?

Will you serve in paper?

I want the tea in the dirty cup.

Hey, not this brown bread.

The other brown bread that was actually white bread...

...and was brown because of the dirt from the road...

...I want that bread.

And next time, if you serve in paper...

...you have to do this...

This was prepared in the morning.

Oh, you ruined my mood.

I want an old vada.

A bit old.

I have last week's.

Last week's.

Give it to me.

Don't worry. Give me.

Oh! This seems to be a dinosaur's vada.

The Pani puri is made in mineral water.

What are you saying? It means you make this pani puri in mineral water?

Yes... - I don't want to eat.

Hold on.

I mean, did I wait for six months during the lockdown...

...just to have a pani puri made of mineral water?

Hold on, sir. Quality inspection.

Show me your legs.

This pav is not matching with your legs.

What is this? How did you make this?

Hey, your stall is right next to a toilet.

You should have used the toilet water.

Leave the toilet water. You can use sewerage water instead.

Sir, you are disgusting. You are troubling me.

I'm going. - Please don't say this.

It's the sewerage water.

What are you saying?

There's no need of a 'chutney' when the sweat from your chest is into the vada.'

Oh wow! This is called unhygienic.

This is what I want.

Which sewerage water is this?

The one behind Shubham.

Sir, it was raining then...

...it was fresh.

Let me give you a visiting card of a place.

The sewerage water behind Prakash's building is so nice.

The mosquitoes there might get infected to Coronavirus.

And, what is this? There's not a single hair in the vada.

Not a single hair.

You have so much chest hair.

But there's not a single hair in the vada. Why so?

A hair from your mouth.

From your chest.

Or some other place. Please put something in the vada.

Did you do waxing in the lockdown?

Where's the sweat? Put some sweat.

We have blood. You just have to add the sweat.

Hey, put your sweat. I have the vaccine.

Just like this.

Hey, not with this. Do it with your hands.

Where's your dad? He used to run this stall, right?

Now I'm the boss.

Nepotism here too. Just do like this.

Sir, I have an idea.

In order to enhance the flavor of Pani puri.

Do one thing. Raise your hand.

And scratch your bums.

What? - Come on.

Do it properly.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. - Yes.

Come on.

Enough. If you do it again...

...sparks will come out. Remove your hand.

Now with this pure hands, take that puri...

...and dip in the water and feed me.

This will give the real flavor.

Go ahead, baby.

My body is ready. Oh...

Feed me with your own hands. Straight in my mouth.

Tangy.

This tangy flavor was missing in the pani puri at our home.

Sir, I have achieved Nirvana. Yes.

Oh, doctor. The Covid vaccine is working, right?

Hey, yes. Your Covid test is negative.

Now, I will...

Be quiet, you fool.

You have every single disease apart from Coronavirus.

What? - Malaria...

...dengue, TB, Cholera, STD...

...ISD, PCOD, LSD, HIV, everything.

All these diseases have created a new virus in your body.

'Gandavirus.'

'Gandavirus.'

Hey, the Chinese are scared.

They are wondering which is this virus that they were unable to invent.

But, doctor.

Hello, quarantine department.

In my office. Hurry up.

Hold on.

Wait here.

Hey, who are you?

Hey, doctor. The lockdown got over just now.

Quarantine him for 60 years and not 6 months.

Put him in jail.

Hey, this is the Vada Pav seller.

Hey, and this is the pani puri seller.

Hey. What is this?

My vaccine...

'Why did you wait, Tony? Hit it.'

Hold on for a minute, guys.

The video you say was a fictional video.

This was only meant for entertainment purpose.

So, whatever has been shown in the video...

...please do not repeat it in real life.

If you like the video, please like...

...comment us your favorite dialogue...

...and subscribe to my channel.

And guys do not forget to download the MPL app.

The MPL has now started the...

...Fantasy cricket League.

You can create your favorite cricket team...

...and you can win points.

And you can earn money by that.

So, go and download MPL app now.