Season 5, Episode 92 - Where Credit Is Due | Red vs. Blue - YouTube

Church: You want us to turn her back on again?

After we just went through all that trouble to shut her down?

Caboose: But she said she know's where O'Malley is!

Church: Well maybe she was lying? How could she possibly know that?

What do you think, Tex? Can we turn her back on again? Disable her guns or something?

Tex: Not a chance, she's a wreck back here. I'm not even sure how she was operational anyway.

Caboose: Oh! I know! Uh... we can put her inside my head! Like O'Malley! I've got lots of extra room in there.

Church: Yeah... I bet. And no... she's not that kind of A.I.

Tex: She could only be moved over if we had a similar class of vehicle.

Church: Yeah... if only we had some other kind of big vehicle that we could move her into.

We can't use the warthog because that doesn't have anything....

Wait a minute...

Tex?

The ship?!

Could we move her into one of those onboard computers?

Tex: If we set up a hard line, yeah. I bet we could do it!

Tucker: Church!

Wait!

Church: Huh?!

Tucker: Church, hold on a second! I've got something to tell you!

Church: Tucker, what?! What is it?!

Tucker (out of breathe): I just wanted to say...

... I gotta hard line Tex can use...

Bow chicka bow wow!

Tex: How did you even hear that?!

Tucker: Pfft... I'm like Superman... I know when I'm needed.

(Unintelligible noises)

Sarge: Shake it off you big orange baby! What happened to ya?

Donut: He's been chasing the dragon!

Simmons: Donut, shut up! He was drugged just like me!

Donut: That's what I'm saying!

He fell off the wagon and shook hands with the devil!

Simmons: Shut up!

Donut: He's been ridin' the wave and trippin' the technicolor dreamscape! Far out maaan!

Druggie loser.

Simmons: Will you stop, Donut!?

All you're doing with your stupid anti-drug lingo is making me actually want to try drugs.

Donut: Choose life, Simmons!

(whispers) Choose it.

Simmons: Yeah. That sounds like fun.

Sarge: Who knocked ya out, Grif?

Was it those dirty blues?

Grif: No... some kind of bat person!

Sarge: Bat person?!

Simmons: Sarge... I'm not sure Grif knows what he's talking about.

Sarge: Grif doesn't know what he's talkin' about, eh? Stop the fuckin' presses.

Simmons: No! I mean specifically right now.

Whatever chemical they used to knock us out may be effecting his perception or his memory.

Donut: And it can cause undue stress to his family and seriously impair his ability to operate...

Simmons (angrily): SHUT UP, DONUT!

Grif: I wasn't hallucinating.

There was some kind of crazy bat thing and another guy and they were talkin' about a kid...

... and a sword...

... some kind of deal they made.

Donut: H'okay wait. Is this a joke?!

This is a prank on me right?

You guys found my Harry Potter fanfiction.

Grif: This has nothing to do with you, Donut.

Donut: H'okay, right, sure! Well if the bat person turns out to be a sailor... and the guy turns out to be a bartender and the sword turns out...

Well... lets just say this all sounds a little too familiar!

Grif: I'm telling the truth!

This really happened!

Sarge: Sure! We believe ya buddy!

Note to Simmons... Grif has gone mad. Need to kill him ASAP.

Grif: I'm not crazy!

Sarge: Second note to Simmons... Grif has developed super hearing!

Possibly acquired from the bat people!

Post note... original plan still applies!

Grif: Wait a second!

I can prove I'm not crazy cause of the bomb!

The bomb!

Simmons: Yeah. That's a good way to prove you aren't insane.

Just start screaming 'The bomb. The bomb.'

Grif: The bomb was there!

That's how I could understand what was being said!

They needed him to translate!

Sarge: The bomb?

You mean that loudmouth guy?

Grif: Yeah! The enormous ball that's always ready to explode!

Donut: Okay, seriously!

There's coincidence...

... and then there's outright plagiarism.

I'm gonna have to sue somebody!

Tex: She's all set.

Transfer should take awhile.

Church: Um...

Are we sure we want to put her in this ship?

Tex: Mm...

It's still flyable but I'm gonna remove the ignition coil just to be sure.

If O'Malley is in her somewhere they aren't going anywhere without it.

Church: You want me to hold it?

Tex: Are you kidding?

Church: Well...

Thought it was worth a try.

Tex: Hey, Caboose!

How's it going in there?

Caboose: Looks good.

Although I have to tell you the ship looks a lot bigger on the inside then the outside.

Tex: How's the read out?

Caboose: Well...

All the red lights are red and all the blue lights are blue.

Tex: What about the green lights?

Caboose: Those are black.

Tex: When the green lights turn green and the red light turn black I want you to get a hold of me right away.

Caboose: Uh, okay!

Um...

What about the blue lights?

Tex: The blue lights don't matter.

Caboose: Then why do they...

Tex: Okay! Okay, thanks, Caboose! Good job!

Caboose: Oh, okay!

Andy: Hey, Grif!

Just tell them where the kid and the sword is...

... and you can go.

Girf: Wh-what?

Andy is that you?

Why are you helping monster people?

Andy: Hey!

Gotta make a livin'!

Green Alien: Hnk. Hnk? Wnkwnk. Wrear.

Andy: He say's someone's comin'!

And we gotta go!

See ya, Grif!

By the way! You look like shit!

Zing!

Grif: Unh? Okay... bye...

(slurred) I'm gonna...

(slightly slurred) go to sleeping again...

And he was translating between the two of them too!

So if we find Andy

He can tell us exactly what's going on!

Sarge: Sounds like we've stumbled across something totally diabolical!

Good work uncovering the plot, Simmons!

Simmons: Thank you, Sir!

Grif (angry): Simmons?!

I just told you everything!

Sarge: But Simmons was the one that led us to you after he stealthily avoided capture.

Grif: Avoided capture?!

They knocked him out first and picked me at random!

Sarge: Yes... a randomness that Simmons used to save the day!

Grif: He had nothing to do with that!

Sarge: But it was Simmons that found the underground cave!

Grif: By trying to bury you alive!

Sarge: A tactic that was clearly multilayered.

Once again, Simmons treasonous insurrection proves to be the glue that holds this unit together!

Simmons: Just wait til you hear about my upcoming assassination attempt!

Sarge: Oh, don't spoil it!

Caboose: Hello!

Yes!

I'm here to talk to you about subscribing to our channel!

And done!

Bye!

(Quietly) What the heck just happened?