馃攳
Crude Madison Cawthorn Video Surfaces & NASA Sends Nude Photos to Space | The Daily Show - YouTube
Channel: The Daily Show with Trevor Noah
[0]
as you know all across the world prices
[2]
have been skyrocketing and it's all
[4]
thanks to the pandemic supply chain
[7]
issues and a russian man who clearly
[8]
wasn't hugged enough as a child
[10]
and because of that everything costs
[13]
more groceries gas blackmail it's
[16]
terrible everything
[17]
and every government around the world is
[19]
trying to figure out how to bring
[21]
inflation down which is why now the
[22]
federal reserve is stepping in with a
[25]
major move that america hasn't seen in
[27]
decades on wednesday the federal reserve
[30]
raised the interest rate by half a
[32]
percentage point the biggest hike in 22
[35]
years the increase makes borrowing money
[37]
more expensive from new mortgages to
[39]
auto loans to credit card rates it's
[42]
designed to cool down consumer demand
[44]
and curb inflation now at a 40-year high
[48]
and fed chairman jerome powell saying
[49]
the aggressive move they're saying it
[51]
can be done without risking a recession
[53]
so there's a path to that now i would
[55]
say i think we have a good chance
[57]
to to have a soft or soft-ish landing or
[60]
outcome if you will
[62]
okay i felt confident in him until he
[63]
said
[65]
a soft-ish
[66]
landing
[67]
soft i like soft-ish anytime you have to
[70]
add
[70]
ish to something
[72]
i don't feel reassured anymore yeah this
[74]
roller coaster is safe-ish
[76]
these clams are fresh-ish
[79]
yeah baby we're monogamous you know how
[81]
this is going to end
[85]
but basically basically
[87]
here's how it all works right the fed
[89]
raises interest rates which means the
[91]
cost of borrowing money goes up which
[93]
means that people and businesses will
[94]
spend less money which then makes prices
[97]
start to come down and it works because
[99]
higher interest rates affect so many
[100]
things in your life it makes a mortgage
[102]
more expensive it makes car loans more
[104]
expensive it makes paying off your
[105]
credit card more expensive it even makes
[107]
buying twitter more expensive that's why
[108]
elon has to go harvest with saudi arabia
[110]
now the trick
[112]
the trick as jerome powell was alluding
[114]
to is that you have to bring spending
[116]
down but not too much too fast yeah you
[118]
got to do it just right or the economy
[120]
could crash and you end up in a
[122]
recession so it's a delicate balance you
[124]
know think of it um you know what think
[126]
of it think of the economy like a house
[128]
party all right yeah you wanted to be
[130]
banging you know what i mean you want to
[131]
be banging but you don't want it to get
[133]
out of control because then no one can
[134]
get a drink everyone's punching or
[136]
fighting over what's left it's chaos
[137]
basically it's chaos so raising the
[139]
interest rates is like trying to calm
[140]
the party down right but if you're too
[142]
extreme and you call the cops or if you
[144]
just like turn on the lights and now
[145]
everyone sees who they were dancing with
[148]
now the party ends the whole thing shuts
[150]
down that's a recession of a party so
[151]
what the federal reserve is trying to do
[153]
is change the playlist just enough so
[155]
people stay but that also makes sure
[157]
that nobody's dancing on the table does
[158]
that make sense you understand what
[159]
we're doing here yeah so it's tricky
[162]
it is tricky
[163]
but they have to try because if they
[165]
don't do something
[167]
a dollar will get you less and less
[170]
every day which is gonna suck for
[173]
everyone especially for the dollar
[178]
man this sucks
[180]
back in the day people used to use me
[182]
for everything you could buy a horse
[184]
with me you could buy windmill hell they
[186]
bought alaska with me and they got
[188]
changed
[190]
but look at me now thanks to inflation
[192]
i'm just a glorified bookmark covered in
[194]
fecal matter
[196]
people don't even want to snow cocaine
[197]
with me anymore
[199]
now they only talk about benjamin that
[201]
loser wasn't even president
[203]
the only things i have left in my life
[205]
now are dollar stores and strip clubs
[207]
and i swear to god and strippers time
[209]
taking bitcoin i'ma kill myself
[214]
dollar's very angry
[218]
all right
[220]
all right let's move on let's move on to
[222]
a politician who will presumably never
[224]
be on money madison cawthon
[227]
north carolina congressman and villain
[229]
on every cw show
[231]
five weeks ago madison cawthon claimed
[234]
that his republican colleagues were
[236]
doing cocaine and having giant orgies
[239]
which he was deeply disgusted by
[242]
yeah because you see he's a true
[244]
christian who stands for traditional
[246]
conservative values
[249]
and so that's what he said about his
[250]
colleagues and clearly he pissed
[252]
somebody off because since he made that
[254]
accusation
[255]
week after week
[257]
people have been leaking things that
[259]
seem to be exposing him as a fraud
[262]
yeah the scandals have included
[264]
everything from pictures and lingerie to
[266]
allegations of insider trading and a
[269]
campaign aid with their hand on his
[271]
crotch and now
[272]
in the words of the esteemed political
[274]
analyst dj khaled another one this is a
[277]
completely shocking video appearing to
[279]
show the congressman completely naked in
[282]
this video it reportedly shows him
[284]
acting crass i guess you could say with
[286]
a friend in a bedroom while not wearing
[289]
any clothing at all now notably this is
[291]
put out by an opposition group this is a
[293]
group that's working actively to try to
[295]
defeat the congressman in the upcoming
[297]
republican primary but the congressman
[300]
he admitted that it is indeed him in the
[303]
video
[304]
yeah
[306]
someone released a video
[308]
of madison cawthon from a few years ago
[310]
before he was in congress naked
[312]
basically pretending to hump his
[314]
friend's face and believe me i wish
[317]
there was another way to say that but
[318]
there is not
[321]
that's the story
[325]
and you gotta admit man these people are
[327]
coming for madison cawthon you know in
[329]
fact the way they're coming for madison
[331]
cawthon
[332]
i'm starting to think maybe those
[333]
cocaine orgies were real you know
[336]
is that too much
[339]
so for the 50th time congressman madison
[342]
corton was forced to release a statement
[344]
explaining why this isn't as bad as it
[348]
seems you are witnessing one of the
[350]
first examples of a politician who grew
[352]
up with a cell phone in their hand with
[354]
the ability to take photos videos and
[357]
have others use that content as a way to
[359]
hurt you most of my colleagues in
[361]
congress right now would not be serving
[363]
in washington if they grew up within a
[364]
single mile of a cell phone growing up
[366]
okay before we address the statement can
[368]
anyone explain to me why the american
[369]
flag is in that video
[372]
that flag wasn't humping anybody
[375]
why are you dragging the flag into this
[376]
madison huh
[378]
you can even see the flag behind him
[379]
like uh-uh uh-uh
[382]
i wasn't there
[388]
now
[389]
as for the point the young congressman
[391]
was making
[393]
as much as i do not like him
[395]
i have to agree
[397]
since the beginning of time people have
[399]
had the ability to insulate what they do
[401]
in private from what they do in public
[403]
but now we have a whole generation who's
[406]
growing up documenting every single dumb
[409]
thing they do or say or hump
[413]
and
[414]
and honestly unless they're breaking the
[416]
law we're gonna have to figure out how
[418]
to deal with this in society right
[420]
because thanks to phones everyone's
[422]
friends
[423]
have dirt on them
[424]
yeah honestly everyone everyone in fact
[426]
if your friends don't have any dirt on
[428]
you that could someday ruin your career
[429]
then i'm sorry you're not friends you're
[430]
just acquaintances okay
[432]
understand that now
[435]
and so i agree i honestly agree
[437]
you know this is just part of the
[439]
product of the times yeah what he was
[440]
doing was extreme but this is part of
[441]
the times like if previous generations
[444]
of politicians have the same technology
[445]
as we do now we might have seen really
[447]
embarrassing selfies of abe lincoln you
[450]
know
[451]
yeah and can you imagine young mitch
[453]
mcconnell with an iphone
[455]
uh i mean even if there was nothing
[457]
scandalous we'd still have to see him
[459]
trying to look cool every single day on
[461]
tick tock
[462]
see
[465]
[Applause]
[467]
[Music]
[472]
yeah he's looked like that since he was
[473]
14. that's just his face
[476]
that would have gone viral by the way
[478]
all right let's move on to a story about
[480]
space jeff bezos's vacation home
[483]
for decades humans have been trying to
[486]
not only find other planets for us to
[488]
destroy but also
[490]
intelligent life for us to colonize
[492]
and we've tried everything you know we
[494]
sent out deep space probes we sent out
[496]
radio waves in the 50s we sent like a
[499]
bunch of dogs and monkeys for some
[501]
reason but now after decades of no luck
[505]
nasa has decided to take things up a
[507]
notch
[508]
nasa's scientists plan to send pictures
[510]
of naked humans into space hoping to
[512]
catch the attention of aliens nudes will
[515]
come with an invitation to respond
[518]
pictures aren't graphic just a drawing
[520]
of a naked man and a woman next to a
[522]
picture of dna
[523]
nasa revealed this as part of a project
[525]
called beacon in the galaxy to send a
[527]
message to any alien civilizations
[532]
okay
[535]
first things first
[536]
they've got to hire more women over at
[538]
nasa because
[540]
only dudes would think the best way to
[541]
introduce yourself is with unsolicited
[543]
nudes hey aliens
[544]
you up there
[548]
what are we doing
[551]
those aliens are going to be really
[553]
upset that they turned on their airdrop
[554]
for everyone in the galaxy
[557]
but also but also but also
[559]
if you are going to send nudes
[562]
why would you send these nudes
[565]
let me tell you something man if i was
[566]
an alien no way in hell i'm coming to
[569]
this planet
[571]
like if someone sent me these nudes and
[572]
they said hey you up i'd be like i am so
[575]
far from up
[576]
i'm in a coma i will never be up again
[579]
i mean look at this thing
[581]
it feels like you sexting with an atari
[582]
what is that huh
[584]
the woman doesn't even have a nose look
[586]
at that
[589]
think about what we say either this
[590]
planet has zero technology because this
[592]
is how they draw themselves or this is
[594]
how they actually look either way i'm
[596]
not coming i'm not coming
[598]
that's a terrible thing to say like
[599]
maybe if i was like a 13 year old alien
[601]
i could make that work yeah you know
[602]
what i mean but but how are these the
[605]
news that we're sending to aliens
[607]
if we want aliens to get interested
[609]
don't send them an etch-a-sketch drawing
[611]
send them coupons for only fans come on
[613]
man get them in the game
[618]
and you know honestly
[619]
even if the aliens are interested
[621]
i think we've got to be careful this is
[623]
sending the wrong idea about us into the
[625]
galaxy
[626]
just imagine for a second the very first
[628]
thing we sent to aliens is naked photos
[632]
what are we only trying to make contact
[633]
with the horniest aliens in the universe
[636]
yeah no wonder every time they abduct
[637]
someone they probe their butts we're
[639]
sending out the wrong five
[642]
you understand how scary this is you
[644]
know what's going to happen here right
[645]
the aliens are going to get here and
[646]
they're just going to expect to smash
[647]
immediately yeah
[649]
and then they're going to be
[650]
disappointed yeah imagine if someone
[652]
you've never even met before texted you
[653]
nudes and then you go there and they're
[655]
like cool now that you're here i want to
[656]
introduce you to joe biden
[659]
that is the worst catfishing ever
[661]
they'll blow up our planet just for that
[663]
oh come your orny horny and they'll be
[665]
like take our studio later we're here
[667]
don't smash
[668]
now we're in trouble
[670]
yeah the only way that would work out is
[671]
if the aliens come and trump is
[673]
president yeah no no no because if
[675]
there's one thing i'll tell you about
[676]
trump he'd out of those aliens
[680]
he'd be like i don't know what they have
[682]
down there but i'm grabbing it i'm
[684]
grabbing it come here aliens
[696]
we should actually hope
[701]
we actually should hope
[702]
that this only reaches the horny aliens
[705]
because you realize how offensive this
[707]
is going to be if it just ends up in
[708]
front of a normal alien they are going
[710]
to be so pissed off
[713]
shayla
[715]
sheila
[717]
those earth perverts left pornography on
[719]
the lord
[721]
yes i'm sure it's not my pornography
[724]
you know i wouldn't be yanking my floor
[726]
flex to a drawing of two hairless
[728]
monkeys
[730]
yeah i mean one doesn't even have a nose
[732]
sheila
[733]
come on you know what i'm into and it's
[735]
not this crap
[737]
plus i don't need pornography i only
[740]
need you you know i love you baby
[742]
i love you sheila
[748]
i love that coffee all right that's it
[749]
for the headlines
[751]
but before we go to a break let's check
[752]
in on the stock market with our very own
[754]
finance expert michael costa everybody
[765]
what is happening in the market today
[766]
man well i'm an expert at this you know
[769]
and and i i am crushing the market i
[772]
mean what are you saying absolutely
[773]
crushing it and as an expert i do have a
[775]
hot tip for you
[777]
and i got a help tip for you as well so
[778]
we'll get into that but but before we do
[780]
before we do the the fed raising the
[782]
interest rates yes this is a great thing
[785]
okay because during the pandemic you
[787]
know you know we lost interest right i i
[790]
lost interest personally i lost interest
[793]
in netflix i lost
[795]
interest in my family you know i
[798]
i lost interest in work to be honest
[800]
with you
[801]
i wasn't trying that hard before but now
[803]
i am really phoning it in okay so
[806]
but but but look raising the interest
[809]
rates it affects everyone and especially
[811]
regular middle-class homeowners like
[814]
myself okay now i have a ski castle in
[817]
corsu ball
[819]
it's the french alps 12 000 square feet
[821]
it's on a nice pristine glacial lake and
[824]
and and if i hadn't locked in my rate
[826]
before this i wouldn't be able to redo
[828]
the kitchen on the main property so
[830]
it's tuscan marble trevor okay so um but
[834]
you know one thing i've learned is
[835]
whenever you complain about renovating
[837]
the kitchen in your fifth home nobody
[838]
has any sympathy but can you imagine a
[840]
16th century ski castle with a bad
[843]
kitchen
[845]
i love to cook
[848]
let's get let's get yeah you're the
[849]
trouble with the nasa sending the nudes
[852]
yes yeah and we'll get to this in a
[853]
second but
[854]
um that's a risky move okay because nasa
[859]
doesn't know who's gonna get those nudes
[860]
i mean what what if it's alien children
[863]
right now now earth is exposing itself
[866]
to children you know do you think about
[868]
that next thing you know earth is on the
[870]
intergalactic sex offender list you know
[873]
and we got to go around from galaxy to
[874]
galaxy knocking on the atmosphere saying
[877]
hello i'm earth i'm your neighbor for
[878]
three billion years i'm legally required
[881]
to tell you i'm a sex offender
[886]
can i get to can i get to the market oh
[887]
yeah okay okay cool so
[889]
look
[891]
yesterday on the news that the interest
[893]
rates were going up the market shot up
[896]
yeah okay today
[898]
on the news that the interest rates were
[899]
going up the market shot down
[903]
all right so i'm an expert here don't
[905]
forget in summary when the news of the
[908]
interest rates are going up the market
[910]
will either go up or it's going to go
[912]
down
[914]
thank you
[917]
well hold on hold on mike
[918]
[Applause]
[919]
but michael that doesn't make any sense
[921]
to me yeah well that's because you're
[923]
not an expert like like me and and
[926]
that's my hot tip okay
[928]
leave it to the experts
[934]
thank you i think michael cox
[939]
[Music]
[948]
you
Most Recent Videos:
You can go back to the homepage right here: Homepage