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21 Life Lessons for Teenagers - YouTube
Channel: Ali Abdaal
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hey friends welcome back to the channel
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in this video i'm gonna go over 21 bits
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of advice that i would give
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to my 18 year old self let's get into it
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firstly
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think about the game that you're playing
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and think about what are the victory
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conditions of that game when you were in
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school
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then the game was very much a game of
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try and get really good exam results to
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try and get into university
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but when you go to university uh that is
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probably not the game that you're gonna
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continue to play
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and you might fall into the trap of
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continuing to try and play that exam
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results game
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because it's just what you've known but
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it's one of those things that if you are
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going to play that game and you know
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there's nothing wrong with playing that
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game but if you're going to play it
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you want to do it intentionally rather
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than accidentally and this question of
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what game am i really playing
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um it's actually quite a good one to
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keep asking yourself every few months
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just to make sure you're still playing
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the game that you thought you were
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playing
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and that crucially that you still want
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to be playing the game that you have
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found yourself playing because to be
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honest that decision that you took when
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you were 16 to go to medical school
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you don't need to hold yourself to that
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decision for the rest of your life
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and you absolutely can and should ignore
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the sunk costs and just think
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what's the game i'm playing right now
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and is this the game that i really want
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to be playing
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secondly you should try and develop some
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skills that you know are going to
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compound over the long term now this is
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something that you won't appreciate when
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you're
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18 because you're going to be just
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thinking about the short term and you're
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going to be thinking
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like everyone does in their own like
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interest in the here and now
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but you really want to start doing
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things at 18 or even younger than that
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but you want to start doing things at 18
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that are going to compound over time
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firstly please please please pay
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attention to your posture
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that is one of those things that when
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you're 18 you're spending hours an hour
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sitting on the computer hunched over
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like this because you're cool
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you won't see any problems when you're
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18 you won't have any pain you won't
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have any issues like that
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but further down the line maybe when
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you're 26 you might be thinking
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damn my posture is really really crap
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and i wish i'd corrected this eight
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years ago point number three you really
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want to be taking
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lots more photos than you think you
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should because
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again you won't notice it at the time
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and you might think it's a bit of an
[115]
inconvenience taking photos of stuff but
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your university years are never going to
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come again
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and in the future you're always going to
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be so glad
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of the memories that you recorded by
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taking photos at events
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and taking photos even of your friends
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as you're having chills in your room
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point number four
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you really want to be more of a
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documentarian of the stuff that you're
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consuming and the stuff that you're
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creating i.e please please please
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when you read a book or when you read an
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article or when you listen to a podcast
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or when you read
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i don't know the four hour work week or
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something like that when you read these
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books
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please write some notes about what your
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thoughts and feelings were
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as you were reading them again it's one
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of those things that you probably won't
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appreciate at the time because you'll
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think oh i've read this book i just want
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to go on to the next one
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but if you just take even 10 or 15
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minutes to consolidate your thoughts and
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to think about okay what did i actually
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learn from this
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and how have my my feelings how's my
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reactions how's my behavior changed as a
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result of reading this thing or
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listening to this podcast then that is
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actually going to help you in the
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present
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moment but it's also going to be really
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interesting to look back on in the
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future
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and even better if you put those things
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on a public website
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then that is going to get domain value
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and then your own brand will start to
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grow
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much more quicker than it actually did
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because you were just taking the time to
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document the things that you were
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learning along the way
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and doing your best to try and help
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others point number five try and be
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a connector or a hub that helps connect
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to different people and different
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friendship groups
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you're gonna have a lot of anxiety and
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insecurity going into university about
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making friends you're going to be
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worried that you're not going to make
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friends you're going to be worried that
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no one's going to like you
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firstly take heart because literally
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everyone suffers from those anxieties
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when they go to university as well but
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secondly
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realize that any friendship group needs
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someone to
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bring them together and and be okay with
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being that person
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be okay with being the person to set up
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a whatsapp group for a group of friends
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be okay with taking the first step
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towards inviting people to your room to
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hang out be okay with organizing an
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event
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be okay with all that kind of stuff
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because everyone when they're in that
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position
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they want someone to take charge and you
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can absolutely be that person if you
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want point number six uh you're going to
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do a pretty good job of putting yourself
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out there at university you're going to
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join all these clubs and all these
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mailing lists and all these societies
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and you're going to go to all these
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events and recognize that while that's
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all very good
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there's always more that you could be
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doing and if if it's a choice between
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sitting in your room one night watching
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the vampire diaries or
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you know making the extra effort to get
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dressed and go to that event that maybe
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you've been putting off
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please go to the event again it's one of
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those things where
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the individual event that you go to
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probably won't matter
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but the more you expose yourself to
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other people in a non-weird way
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the more your surface area for
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serendipity will just increase
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and you're going to find yourself
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meeting people and making friends in the
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unlikeliest of circumstances
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but the way that you can essentially
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optimize that luck in your favor
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is by putting yourself out there more
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than you currently are point number
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seven
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get a door stop those things are
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fantastic they wedge your door open and
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keep your door wedged open at all times
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maybe not when you're asleep but
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basically every other time and actively
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encourage people to come to your room
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and actively encourage people to
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interrupt you while you're trying to
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study
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because you're never going to remember
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those like extra
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few bits of productivity that you had
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but if someone feels comfortable enough
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to come over to your room at 11 o'clock
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at night just to have a bit of a chat
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those are the conversations that
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compound into friendships further down
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the line and those are the things you're
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going to be more grateful for
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rather than the fact that maybe you got
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an extra 0.1 percent on that essay that
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you're working on
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point number eight don't be mean to
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people you will only ever regret it
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point number nine
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buy some bitcoin and absolutely do not
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under any circumstances try and sell it
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point number ten
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nothing good ever happens after 2 a.m
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you're gonna really enjoy
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hanging out with people until four or
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five in the morning recognize that up
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until 2 a.m
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those hangouts are useful after 2 a.m
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those like
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they fall off a cliff and nothing good
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ever happens and you just want to sleep
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you want to kick people out of your room
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and go to bed because then
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you won't completely waste the next day
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with this sort of effectively a hangover
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from staying up until six in the morning
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and then getting two hours of sleep that
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is proper grim
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nothing good ever happens after 2 a.m
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point 11 do a little bit of work a
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little bit of studying every day when
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you're 19 you're going to discover the
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magical power of something called active
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recall and spaced repetition and the way
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that our memory works is that it's like
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if we do a little bit of something every
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day
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over a very long period of time that's
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far more likely to end up in a long-term
[363]
memory
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whereas if you do a burst of work and
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try and cram for a test or for an exam
[367]
like that stuff is absolutely not going
[369]
to stick in the long term and
[370]
when you get to actually being a doctor
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and someone like a surgeon that you're
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working with asks you a question about
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anatomy
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you're going to kick yourself and you're
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going to wish that damn i really wish
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i'd done a little bit of work every day
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and i would have kept up my knowledge of
[383]
anatomy
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or kept up my knowledge of physiology
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because you know that you knew it at one
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point
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but it's not going to come to you when
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it really counts further down the line
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so again
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a little bit of work every day goes a
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very very long way firstly towards
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helping you in your exams
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but more importantly towards giving you
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that knowledge that you can
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that you can then have as a foundation
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for the rest of your life point number
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12
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seek forgiveness rather than permission
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at some point you might get the idea to
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start a particular business or a website
[407]
or even a youtube channel
[409]
seek forgiveness rather than permission
[411]
don't feel like you have to email the
[412]
university to ask them for permission to
[414]
do a thing or email your college tutor
[416]
to ask is it okay if i do this
[418]
just do it and if they have a problem
[419]
with it you can always seek forgiveness
[421]
further down the line point number 13
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please please please stop worrying about
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what other people think of you
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because they're really not thinking of
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you you're going to walk around you're
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going to go to all these events and
[429]
you're going to think people are looking
[430]
at you and judging you and caring about
[432]
what you're doing
[433]
they're really not everyone has got
[434]
their own anxieties everyone has their
[436]
own problems
[436]
most of the people like 30 of the people
[438]
that you're going to meet have
[439]
are struggling with their own mental
[441]
health problems that you're never going
[442]
to know about until like 10 years down
[443]
the line
[444]
so don't worry so much about other
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people judging you because they're
[447]
really not
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people are nice people are friendly
[449]
people just worried about themselves so
[451]
you
[451]
you do you and stop worrying about it so
[453]
much point number 14 whenever you're
[454]
really struggling with something
[456]
ask yourself how hard should this really
[458]
be and how hard can it be
[460]
and something that tim ferriss likes to
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say what would this look like if it were
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easy when you're in your first year of
[465]
medical school at cambridge you're going
[466]
to think it's a big deal you're going to
[468]
think oh my god
[468]
i'm a first year medical student at
[470]
cambridge university that's a big deal
[472]
this should be really hard and you're
[473]
going to convince yourself that it's
[475]
really hard
[475]
and you're going to you're going to
[476]
sabotage yourself because you're gonna
[478]
be acting in a way
[479]
as if this thing is harder than it
[481]
actually is and then by the time you get
[482]
to your second year you're gonna realize
[483]
that oh
[484]
actually this isn't so bad and a big
[486]
part of the anxieties that i had around
[488]
it in my first year
[489]
a big part of those were actually
[491]
because i was just i just worked myself
[492]
up and my mindset was
[494]
approaching this as if it's going to be
[495]
hard point number 15 it's absolutely
[497]
okay to skip lectures
[499]
oftentimes the lecturers just read out
[500]
from the lecture notes anyway and you'll
[502]
have the lecture notes
[503]
and if you want you can just go to a
[505]
cafe or a coffee shop or a restaurant
[506]
and you can just go through the lecture
[507]
on your own time that's completely chill
[509]
just make sure you don't like try and
[511]
summarize it because taking notes as
[512]
you're going to find out when you read
[514]
the book make it stick and when you
[515]
discover the evidence-based study tips
[517]
you're going to realize that taking
[518]
notes is a waste of time for the most
[519]
part
[520]
so don't try and summarize your lecture
[522]
notes but also don't feel like you have
[523]
to go to the lectures point number 16
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it's absolutely okay to fall behind with
[527]
your university work
[528]
during term time your terms are going to
[530]
be eight weeks long that is not a lot of
[531]
time
[532]
and you're gonna keep up for the first
[533]
like two or three weeks and then you're
[535]
gonna start falling behind and behind
[536]
and behind
[537]
and you're gonna feel really bad about
[538]
this because you're gonna think oh my
[539]
god i'm such a waste man
[541]
everyone else around me is keeping up
[543]
whereas i am like really falling behind
[545]
firstly don't worry like 90 of the year
[547]
group is also falling behind they're
[548]
just pretending they're not
[550]
but secondly your holidays are really
[551]
long and there's nothing really to do in
[553]
the holidays other than
[554]
go to the local library with your
[556]
friends from school and all study
[557]
together and that's actually quite fun
[559]
so it's okay to fall behind during term
[561]
time
[561]
during term time you have all these
[562]
societies you have all these fun things
[564]
that you could be doing
[565]
so don't prioritize work over the social
[568]
stuff
[568]
because it's only for eight weeks you
[569]
can prioritize work during the holidays
[571]
point number seventeen
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when you read this book the four-hour
[573]
workweek you're going to realize that
[574]
you can develop sources of passive
[576]
income
[576]
please please please when you have that
[578]
thought process run with it
[580]
and try and do those things because
[581]
further down the line like at the start
[583]
when you're 18 and 19
[585]
you're going to be putting so much
[586]
effort into making these like websites
[587]
and these projects
[589]
and you're not going to see any returns
[590]
for a very long time but
[592]
eight years down the line you're going
[594]
to be so glad that you spent a little
[595]
bit of time in your university years
[597]
trying to do these extra projects to
[598]
make yourself a bit of money on the side
[600]
and to be honest it's not even about the
[601]
money it's more about the skills that
[603]
you gain
[604]
during that process you know trying to
[606]
make something and trying to charge
[607]
money for it is one of the best
[608]
learning experiences in life in general
[610]
and you're going to see this time and
[611]
again as you try more and more projects
[613]
throughout your university years so when
[614]
it comes to making money
[615]
from this from this sort of stuff don't
[617]
obsess over it but also don't treat it
[619]
as something evil because
[621]
you know the art of trying to monetize
[622]
something will itself teach you so many
[624]
lessons point number 18 really try your
[626]
best to enjoy
[627]
the journey and not focus so much on the
[630]
destination university is going to be
[631]
the best
[632]
time of your life and it's only really
[633]
going to happen once and it would be a
[635]
shame
[635]
if you look back on that time and you
[637]
think damn i was so focused on trying to
[639]
climb that
[640]
you know the greasy pole of achievement
[642]
i was so focused on trying to get to
[644]
get to that first class or get to
[646]
slightly higher marks that i forgot to
[648]
enjoy myself while i was there and you
[650]
know it's totally okay to have goals
[652]
it's totally okay to shoot for things
[653]
like i want to get a first class i want
[654]
to go for rank 1 i want to do all this
[656]
kind of stuff but just don't forget
[657]
to you know as they say smell the roses
[660]
on the journey
[660]
as brandon sanderson would say in the
[662]
mistborn series and the stormlight
[663]
archive by the way you should read those
[665]
sooner than you did
[666]
uh life before death strength before
[668]
weakness journey before destination
[669]
point number 19
[670]
share your work and yourself with your
[672]
friends without any expectation of
[674]
something in return you're going to
[675]
realize this a few months into
[676]
university that
[677]
everything becomes so much easier when
[680]
you work together with your friends and
[681]
you treat the exam as your
[683]
collective enemy rather than viewing as
[685]
like a single player game that you're
[687]
playing and competing with other people
[688]
there's really no need to compete with
[690]
your friends or compete with your year
[691]
group
[692]
instead think of it as a collaborative
[693]
endeavor and when you're sharing stuff
[695]
don't worry about tit-for-tat don't
[697]
worry about like i shared this essay
[698]
plan with john and then
[699]
john didn't share something with me just
[701]
like just like share openly you're going
[703]
to look back on that time and you won't
[704]
even remember
[705]
like you know what was the essay john
[707]
gave you but you all remember the
[708]
feeling of camaraderie that you're going
[710]
to have with your
[711]
medical student colleagues when you're
[712]
all kind of working together and sharing
[714]
resources amongst one another point
[715]
number 20
[716]
really carve into your heart the
[718]
serenity prayer which is
[719]
god grant me the strength to accept that
[721]
which i cannot control the courage to
[723]
change what i can and the wisdom to know
[724]
the difference basically
[725]
don't worry about the stuff that it's
[727]
out that's outside of your control
[728]
because it's going to cause you undue
[730]
stress and anxiety and worry
[731]
instead focus on the things that you can
[733]
control and focus on doing what you can
[735]
to make them better and finally point
[736]
number 21 please please please
[738]
learn how to study efficiently for your
[740]
exams but you're going to waste hours
[741]
days and weeks and even months
[743]
doing using ineffective study techniques
[745]
you're going to think that rereading
[746]
your notes is useful you're going to
[747]
think that
[747]
summarizing your notes is helpful you're
[749]
going to think that highlighting in
[750]
pretty colors is going to be useful
[751]
what you don't realize is that when
[753]
you're 18 what you don't realize is that
[754]
there's a huge amount of scientific
[756]
evidence around what makes effective
[758]
studying and you really want to try and
[760]
learn it sooner rather than later
[762]
if you want to learn this effective
[763]
studying stuff the best thing you can do
[764]
is check out my class on skillshare who
[766]
are very kindly sponsoring this advice
[768]
video now this class is absolutely
[769]
fantastic because it's like five hours
[771]
worth of content
[772]
and it piles absolutely everything that
[774]
i now know eight years later about how
[775]
to study effectively
[776]
using evidence-based techniques and
[778]
strategies if you want to check this
[779]
class out you should be one of the first
[781]
1000 people to hit the link in the video
[783]
description because that will give you a
[784]
free trial to skillshare
[786]
and then during your free trial you can
[787]
watch all five hours of this class and
[789]
then you can suddenly immediately have
[791]
the superpower of being able to
[792]
effectively and productively study for
[794]
your exams while you're there you might
[795]
as well check out the other classes that
[797]
i've got on skillshare as well there are
[798]
two of them
[799]
themed around productivity and how to
[800]
live a more productive life which is
[802]
something i know you're into and there's
[803]
a really long one about how to use
[804]
flashcards
[805]
specifically the app and key to really
[807]
supercharge your medical school
[808]
knowledge
[809]
and you're going to be really glad that
[810]
you discover anki further down the line
[812]
but you're going to wish that you used
[813]
it for anatomy and biochemistry and
[815]
physiology
[816]
sooner rather than later all of those
[817]
classes and thousands more are available
[819]
on skillshare so be one of the first
[820]
1000 people to hit the link in the video
[822]
description
[823]
and then after your trial ends the
[824]
annual premium subscription to
[826]
skillshare is less than ten dollars a
[827]
month
[828]
you spend more than ten dollars a month
[830]
on pointless subways and pointless
[831]
coffee and pointless takeaway
[832]
you absolutely can and should spare that
[835]
ten dollars a month to buy
[836]
a skillshare premium subscription it's
[838]
literally so good and going back to
[839]
point number two which is learn skills
[841]
that compound over time
[842]
there's like tons and tons of stuff that
[843]
you can learn on skillshare that you're
[845]
not going to learn at university so
[846]
please
[846]
spend some time during your university
[848]
years investing in yourself
[850]
invest in a skill share subscription and
[851]
hit the link in the video description to
[852]
get free access to my class about how to
[854]
study for your exams
[856]
effectively and efficiently oh and one
[857]
more thing another piece of advice that
[858]
i forgot to give is that you really want
[860]
to get started with investing your spare
[862]
money in stocks and shares you're going
[863]
to make a website and it's going to make
[864]
a bit of money but you're going to do
[866]
the stupid thing and just have that
[867]
money sitting in your bank account
[868]
depreciating over time instead what you
[871]
need to do is start investing it in
[872]
stocks and shares
[873]
as soon as you possibly can 18 is not
[876]
too young
[876]
14 is not too young 11 is not too young
[878]
basically the earlier you can get
[880]
started the more you leave time for that
[881]
money to compound over time
[883]
if you want to learn how to actually get
[884]
started with investing i know it's quite
[886]
complicated it feels like a black box to
[887]
you right now but please click that
[889]
video over there
[890]
which is my ultimate guide to how to get
[891]
started with investing and make again
[893]
that investment in your future thank you
[895]
so much for watching
[896]
have a great life and i'll see you later
[898]
[Music]
[899]
bye
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