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Fixing Financial Infidelity: Part 1 || STEVE HARVEY - YouTube
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- And we're back with Cherie and Marqus.
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They're a married couple struggling
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with financial infidelity.
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Tell us what's going on.
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- So the first thing
that happened was when
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he took out the 401(k) to start
a real estate business deal.
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And it trunked, it went bad,
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and we had just had a baby.
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In between that I had been
diagnosed with cancer,
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and then we had another baby,
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and then we had to finish up the cancer,
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so we had all these medical
bills that had piled up.
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The second deal that went bad,
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or the money thing that went bad,
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that he didn't tell me about,
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was two years ago.
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He quit his job, and didn't let me know.
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It was like, he came home, was like,
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hey, I gave two weeks notice at my job,
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and I was like, okay. (laughs)
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So, that's the two big things,
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financial things that have happened.
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- So, Marqus.
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- [Marqus] Yes.
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- How did all --
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(audience laughing)
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- How did this happen?
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- I take it, it is my
responsibility as a husband, father,
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in our family, to make
sure I provide, protect,
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and do any and everything for
our family and for our boys.
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So going into our second year of marriage,
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preparing for our second son,
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I figured, gey, I earned
some money, got 401(k).
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I'd been trying to learn
real estate investing,
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so I was like, I've got this
money just sitting to the side,
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let me put it to some use.
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That deal totally went left on me.
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I also had to file for bankruptcy,
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I had to let go of my investment
property, that foreclosed.
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It was rough, it's been very hard.
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- Very hard.
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- So after our third son was born,
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we figured out it was
just best that Cherie
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would stay home with the kids
because the price of daycare,
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just her check alone was
covering daycare and gas,
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just to get back and forth from work.
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It's like it wasn't
worth the added stress.
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Cherie would tell me like,
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you leave home and it's
one version of Marqus,
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but you come home totally different.
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And it's a version that
she never wanted to see.
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So I had to check myself a lot,
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before I even set foot in the door.
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But it got to a point we
were able to sell our house,
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the house we were living in at the time,
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we made some money, paid off some bills,
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and on my way to a business
meeting in Charlotte,
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for my current employer at the time,
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Steve, your book Jump had just came out.
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I listened to Jump,
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(audience laughing)
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on that four-and-a-half,
five hour drive back home,
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I completed that thing,
and within that week,
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I mean, you gave me all
the motivation I needed.
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- He said this is your fault.
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(audience laughing)
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- I'm not saying that, I'm
not saying that at all.
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- He read it and he jumped!
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- It is all one me, it's all on me.
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I'm not saying that at
all, I'm not saying that.
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(laughter and clapping)
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But when you hear things in life,
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you feel like it's a message
directed towards you.
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- I'm just trying to understand how
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(Marqus laughing)
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all of the sudden this interview...
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(laughter)
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On the way to Charlotte, you know,
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you had already made up your mind.
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- Oh, you right.
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- And took this money
off this real estate,
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out the sale of this house,
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you was going.
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You was already going.
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Don't put this on Jump now.
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- I didn't!
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I'm not, I'm not.
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I'm not putting it on Jump.
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- Alright, let's start talking
about where Marqus went wrong
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- Yep.
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- When he started this business,
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now Farnoosh, where do you
think Marqus went wrong?
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- I encourage you to want
to continue this ambition,
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but it's really important
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that you take care of your
household finances first,
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that they are locked solid,
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so you can do this business
with more sense of,
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you know, I can take some
risks and fall, yeah I will.
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But my house is going to not
crumble as a result of it.
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- What are some of the tips
that you would give Marqus?
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- So the first tip, and I love this tip,
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I think everyone will appreciate this,
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is that you don't need a lot
of money to start a business.
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You cashed out your 401(k), not necessary.
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The most important thing in the beginning,
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is to invest your time, and that's free.
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There are also, speaking of
free, resources out there
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for you to latch onto.
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The SBA has resources,
free online classes.
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SCORE is also an organization
around the country,
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they have an office in Atlanta,
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you can actually go in and get a coach,
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who will work with you.
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So invest time, not money.
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Secondly, keep your day job.
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You want to give yourself the
bandwidth to try to experiment
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and take on some risk,
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without really compromising the home life.
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And then last, but not least,
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really create a divide
between the personal life
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and the business life.
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Have your own checking
account, savings account,
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as well as credit card,
same for the business.
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But all the while, where you
really need to be aligning,
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is the communication.
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You both need to be understanding
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what's happening on both sides.
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And in the event your
business needs more money,
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and you need to take it from your savings,
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how is that gonna work?
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What's that going to look like?
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Have that conversation.
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- Okay
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(audience applauding)
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- Okay, let's go to Spirit,
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now they say that they're
on the brink of divorce,
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the question to you is can
their marriage be saved
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from this point where they are?
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- Well, I want to say absolutely,
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because any two people
who work hard enough
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to make something work, can.
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But I want to know the number.
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When you say that he took
money out of the 401(k),
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and you're just learning about it,
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how much money are we talking about here?
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- 25K, 25 thousand.
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- You said that you wanted
to protect and provide.
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- [Marqus] Sure.
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- And what you did was
you stole and you exposed.
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And so there are some real issues here,
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so I will not say absolutely,
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I will say we've got a lot of work to do.
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- Sure.
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- Look, we can beat this guy up all day,
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I understood where he was coming from.
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Because I'm that guy.
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The mistake that was made
was not sharing it with you.
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You could handle it a lot better,
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and I think you realize that now Marqus.
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- [Marqus] Most definitely,
most definitely.
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- Had you shared with with her.
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- Yes sir.
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- So I understand.
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I can get him.
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'Cause what Marqus is, he a comer.
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See I was a comer, it just
ain't nobody seen me coming.
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(laughter and clapping)
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- We're gonna hear what Spirit has to say,
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and we're gonna find out
if our couple can take
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the divorce option off the
table when we come back.
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(jazzy music)
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