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How To Stay Married: Controlling the Finances || STEVE HARVEY - YouTube
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- Where's Katrina and Douglas?
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- Hi James, hi Steve.
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I've been married for almost 17 years
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and for that time, I've been the one
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that handles the finances.
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Recently, it just became too much
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so I asked my husband to take over
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and he's done a great job.
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He's implemented some ways to save.
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However, he's cut out the
things I like to spend money on
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and it's causing us to bump heads.
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So I'm trying to figure out what we can do
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so that we are not bumping heads.
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- Yeah and Steve and James,
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since I've taken over the finances,
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I would just like a lot more respect
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from Katrina on the
decisions that I'm making
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instead of us getting into what we call
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intense fellowship about it.
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(audience laughs)
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- [Steve] James, what do you think?
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- Well, I would say that this
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isn't really a questions about finances.
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This is a problem about
control and about power.
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Because, you know, power
is a strange thing.
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When someone gives you power,
trusts you to have power,
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you can use it or you can abuse it.
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She's trusted you with
something really significant.
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She's letting you manage
the finances for the family.
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And so when there are
cuts that need to be made,
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those cuts have to be felt
by everybody in the house.
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And they shouldn't just be felt by her,
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they have to be something
that you feel as well.
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I know a lot of men who understand that
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when they're trusted with stewardship
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of their family in that way,
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when they can handle the
finances in that way,
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they would go without a
lot of the things they want
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to make sure that their
wife and their children
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had the things that they
wanted them to have.
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So I think you have to realize
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there's a tremendous amount of trust
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that she's giving to you
and I think you have to
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make a point of using that power
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and using that trust that she's given you
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in a way that really respects
how much you love her.
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So that's the first thing, I'd say.
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(audience applauds)
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And here's what I'd say to you.
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I think one of the concerns
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that you have to realize
is, it's a tough job.
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Sometimes you have to make tough choices
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and sometimes you have
to bearer of bad news
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and don't shoot the messenger.
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You can't get mad at him
for being the one to do that
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'cause you've trusted him with something
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and he has to be, he's too excited
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that I'm agreeing with him right now.
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- He's so excited.
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- But you do, you have to
trust the fact sometimes.
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But you know what, the
fact that the two of you
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are able to talk about it
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in the way that you're talking about it
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and the fact that both of you
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trust each other the way that you do,
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I think it's a great sign of your future
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and I think it's great.
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(audience applauds)
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- Thank you.
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- Can I ask a couple of questions
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because you said he's cut out
some things that you like.
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Can you give me an example
of some stuff he's cut out?
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- Well I have a budget now
when I go to the grocery store.
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If you go in to get one thing,
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well let me know if we
need an extra things.
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And I'm like, well I just
wanted to get the few extras
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or in the beauty department
if I want to buy eye liner
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or that mascara I don't
think he's ever understood
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how much those things cost.
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His resolution is for me to
go back to work full time
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and I'm like that couldn't be the only,
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can we do something else?
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Please.
(audience laughs)
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- Yeah, what this woman
can't do is come in here
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and ask you for some eyeliner money.
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- No it's not about her
asking me for eyeliner money,
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it's just let me know--
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- She got to call you
when she want to pick up
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more than one item from the grocery store.
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- [Douglas] Right.
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- Now she done let you
take over but you're crazy.
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(Katrina and audience laughs)
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This is the food budget.
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You gotta sit down and talk to each other.
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That's the budget for food.
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Go ahead.
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- If you've been married this long,
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you know, you have to know.
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In a marriage, there's
yours, mine and ours.
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(audience applauds)
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- I agree.
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Thank you, thank you.
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- In the beauty department,
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it costs women way more
money than it costs us.
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They got to get nails,
pedicures, manicures.
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They get all kinds of stuff.
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They got eyeliner, base, lipstick.
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You know and you want that.
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'Cause look at her.
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- [Douglas] She's beautiful.
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- That's right.
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- Thanks Steve.
(audience applauds)
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- Katrina, Douglas, thank ya'll.
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Nice couple though.
- Thank you.
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Seem like a really nice couple.
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Hey folks, up next, we're
gonna help a feuding couple
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who say that their next
fight might be their last.
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(audience applauds)
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We'll be back.
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(upbeat music)
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