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MIDDLE CLASS RESTAURANT PROBLEMS : STAND UP COMEDY -Kenny Sebastian - YouTube
Channel: Kenny Sebastian
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I recently did something
I always wanted to do.
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I took my parents out
for a nice dinner
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to a very expensive restaurant.
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Ordering is very difficult with my dad
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because he has to make sure
everyone is on the same page.
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Are you on the vegetable Szechuan page?
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I am on the veg...
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You are not on the
vegetable Szechuan page.
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You are still in soup.
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Kenny, come to vegetable Szechuan page.
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I said, ‘Dad, I can’t because
I don’t have the menu’.
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Because waiters do this weird thing.
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When they distribute the menu,
they guess who is educated or not.
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You get it. No, you don’t.
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You get it.
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You? No. Okay.
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You look like you’re going to pay.
You take it.
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It’s like they don’t have enough menus.
It’s my precious.
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There are only four in the world.
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You can’t print more.
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It’s awesome.
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And, waiters...
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I like waiters.
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Waiters are very different
in different restaurants.
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Waiters, I love.
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The poorer the restaurant is,
lesser shit they give about you.
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It’s like a privilege to have him.
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You haven’t decided yet.
Bloody shit.
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The complete opposite if you go to
an expensive restaurant.
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There are annoying waiters.
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Hi, sir. Hi.
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Please take a seat.
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Are you having a good time?
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Sure? Okay. Bye.
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In the middle of the meal, suddenly,
‘Hi. I was watching you from there’.
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And I hope you are having a good time.
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Do you like the food?
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You better like the food.
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I don’t have a family.
I have no one to talk to but...
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Will you marry me? No. Okay.
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Waiters in normal restaurants
don’t give a crap.
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They will get pissed off
if you send something back.
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Sir, there is no salt in this.
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Here is the salt.
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Waiters will try the entire meal
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to convince you to do something.
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Which is something my family did.
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No middle class family
has ever done in a restaurant.
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We ordered dessert.
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Yeah. We ordered dessert.
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Yeah. We ordered dessert.
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and the reason no middle class family orders dessert
because the logic every dad applies...
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Why are we paying Rs.150/-
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for one scoop of ice cream
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when outside for Rs.70/-
we get one kg vanilla ice cream?
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That too, buy one get one free.
That’s two kgs.
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It’s a standard rule, by the way,
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of ordering in
a Chinese restaurant.
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My mom loves Chinese
so we always go to a Chinese restaurant.
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Standard rule of ordering
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which is – one fried rice,
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one noodles
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and one gravy.
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Sometimes we feel crazy
and we order two gravies.
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That’s right.
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Since I was paying,
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we finished the meal
and my mom asked, ‘Hey,
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what will Savio order?’
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My dad said,
‘What the hell did you just say?’
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I said, ‘Dad, calm down.
It’s on me.’
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So we ordered another noodles.
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Poor thing,
my mom couldn’t finish it.
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The middle class people get it.
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Rich people are thinking,
‘So? What’s the big deal?’
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It’s a middle class family.
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You don’t waste food.
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Especially non-veg noodles!
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So what does
my dad decide to do?
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Everybody. Team work.
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Everybody, eat it together.
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Come on. You can finish it.
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You want.
You also eat. Come on.
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And the waiter came to take...
there was one noodle there.
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No, no. Parcel this.
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Tomorrow dinner is sorted.
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You can hate it. It’s nice.
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You guys can clap.
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Sweet. Thank you.
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You guys are not doing shit.
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My God.
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These rich people.
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Okay. I’m going to check again.
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How many of you have called
for the manager in a restaurant?
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Come on. Don’t lie.
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How many of you have called
for the manager?
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Yeah?
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Anyone from here?
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You have? You have?
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Okay. You guys are rich.
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I’ll tell you why.
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When poor people have food,
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at the end of it they thank God.
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Thank you we got food and they leave.
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We are grateful that
we have food in our belly.
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Rich people. No.
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I don’t like this.
Call the manager.
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I love managers.
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They are these mystical creatures
that appear like ninjas.
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Hi. Good evening, madam.
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Is there a problem?
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I heard you had a problem.
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I have a tingling in my,
you know,
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managerial DNA.
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Love managers.
They all look the same.
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They all wear the same retarded
black blazer that does not fit them.
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It’s never gone for dry cleaning, by the way.
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It’s like they hand down
that blazer from generation to generation.
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Son, you will grow up
and wear this.
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In a manager family
when a child is born,
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it doesn’t say mama and papa.
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Good evening, madam.
Can I help you?
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Is there a problem, madam?
You want dessert?
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You want dessert?
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No? Vanilla. No?
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Call the manager.
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That’s the thing,
poor people hate choices.
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We know what we want to buy
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before we leave the house.
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It’s very clear.
That’s why we left the house.
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Okay.
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Rich people have this privilege.
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I’ll see what I want.
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That’s insane.
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I don’t know how that feels.
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You go to a restaurant...
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Because of my shows
I travel a lot.
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Go to 5-star hotels. Best place.
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Because there is
a good mix of people
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who are not used to this environment
and rich people.
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Poor people hate choices.
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There was this guy trying
to order coffee.
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Hi, I want coffee.
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Sure, sir.
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Do you want light, cappuccino,
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espresso?
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First one.
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Sure. Light, medium,
dark, lethargic?
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Give coffee. And he ran away.
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He never came back.
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Rich people are completely opposite.
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They are very specific.
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I want eggs that are poached.
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While you are beating them,
please be gentle.
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And kiss them good night.
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I also want Earl Grey tea.
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Given to me by Earl Grey himself.
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The waiter has no idea
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what to do so he calls the manager.
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Hi, madam.
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So you wanted to have Earl Grey, huh?
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Sure, madam.
Give me 15 minutes. It’ll be done.
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You can tell a manager anything.
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I want UFO.
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Give me 15 minutes.
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I will find alien life on
other planets and come back.
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Managers do this thing
where they go into a corner.
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Into their managerial room.
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They discuss
what you just told them.
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It’s got nothing to do with
what you are saying but...
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One second.
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Mutton sauce, cheese roll,
butter roll, chicken...
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Hi, madam.
I just spoke to the head chef.
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I am so sorry to inform you.
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It’s like a baby died.
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I am so sorry to inform you
but we don’t have Earl Grey tea today.
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I’m so sorry.
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It’s been looked into.
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Two people have been killed inside.
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