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Therapist Says Ultra-Rich Are MISERABLE - YouTube
Channel: The Young Turks
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there was a fascinating new opinion
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piece in the guardian confirming our
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suspicions that rich men do indeed cry
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i care
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[Music]
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that's it
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it never gets old like that little
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quivering lip it's it's delicious to me
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the best part is the quivering chin i
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didn't know your chin could
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the i'm gonna be taxed a little bit
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yeah remember he's crying over a
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proposed wealth tax that that was what
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that segment and those tears were about
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now uh luckily uh we have an expert
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weighing in on wealthy people and how
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damaged they really are
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okay this is such a fascinating op-ed
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because
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i always felt that if you're wealthy you
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have an obligation a responsibility to
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everyone to enjoy that wealth you know
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but that is not what's happening so this
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was um written by uh clay cockrell and
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uh it's titled i'm a therapist to the
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super rich they are as miserable as
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succession makes out and of course
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that's a reference to the hbo hit show
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succession which you all should be
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watching right now because it's
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fantastic but um i think the takeaway
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from this is even better so i'm going to
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read a few excerpts and then we'll
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discuss
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succession is built on the idea of a
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group of wealthy children vying for who
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will take the mantle from their father
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none of them are able to convince him
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that they can do it and that is because
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they have reached adulthood completely
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unprepared to take on all responsibility
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i think that's a good description
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without giving any spoilers away right
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now um
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he also writes that over the years i
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have developed a great deal of empathy
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for those who have far too much
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the television program succession now in
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its third third season does such a good
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job of exploring the kinds of toxic
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excess my clients struggle with that
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when my wife is watching it i have to
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leave the room it just feels like work
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so what he's doing here is really um
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justifying some of the anguish that
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ultra wealthy people experience and
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obviously these are difficulties that
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are very different from what the vast
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majority of people experience i would
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argue not being able to
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pay for shelter or provide food for your
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family like
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that is clearly something that needs to
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be addressed and i think should take
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priority in our society however if you
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are raised in a
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fabulously wealthy family as tucker
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carlson was you know as the heir of the
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uh swanson fortune
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um i mean i think carlson is a perfect
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example of how damaged you can end up
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being right and it's because of a number
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of different factors uh the fact that
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you might not feel you have any purpose
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in life because you don't have to work
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for things like other people do um so
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as uh cockrell writes in this op-ed
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well what would it be like if you
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couldn't trust those close to you or if
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you looked at any new person in your
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life with deep suspicion i hear this
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from my clients all the time what do
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they want from me or how are they going
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to manipulate me or they are probably
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only friends with me because of my money
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okay so let's stop right there jank
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weigh in
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yes so this story uh has been conflicted
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it's a roller coaster ride so i'm gonna
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take you through the whole roller
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coaster but first okay yes definitely
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buckle up uh
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first let me just double down on what
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anna said succession is such a great
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show it's executive producers are adam
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mckay and will ferrell uh and adam mckee
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right now the single uh most successful
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producer and director in hollywood he
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did the big short he'd advice he's got
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the leonardo dicaprio movie don't look
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up coming out and he's a huge
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progressive not only has he been on the
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show he watches the show like you guys
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do okay and i ran into will ferrell once
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and he's had nice things to say about
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the show so it's wonderful to see actual
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progressives putting out this message
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and and they're right it's modeled on
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the murdoch family and every time i
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watch it i have great shot in florida
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and i feel so good about myself because
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i'm like oh it turns out these
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incredibly wealthy right wingers
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are neurotic messes
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and they're and they're disastrous
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they're miserable they're totally
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miserable and i feel great about it
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agreed no uh that's the beginning of the
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roller coaster now i don't feel
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since i'm such a
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bleeding heart lib i don't feel great
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that all rich people feel miserable no
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when it comes to the right wing and the
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murdochs of the world who are doing so
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much damage to the rest of us and all
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those republican donors who are
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in favor of their tax cuts those guys i
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have no sympathy for okay so now
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look
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is it true
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or is this just like oh cry me a river
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about how rich you are and everybody
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wants your money and stuff no it's true
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they are actually miserable and it's not
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just this guy saying it every
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interaction that i have had with ultra
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wealthy folks
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they're not in some magical la la land
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where they're all super happy like
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hey we made it we've got money you
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assume that because that's how you would
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feel because you were poor or middle
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class and you've always thought like oh
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if i could just get that and then i
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would feel great etc but they didn't
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grow up that way so let me just let me
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contextualize this further because i
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think it's important so um the very
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people in this country who have
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exploited a system that's rigged in
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their favor which makes them fabulously
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wealthy
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and other people struggle
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still doesn't make them happy it's not
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good enough because that comes along
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with a whole host of other issues
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including are my friends really my
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friends because they like me and do i
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really serve a purpose in life so yeah i
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think that context matters and and look
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i let me just get this off my chest
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right away i don't feel bad for them at
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all like zero percent i feel zero
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empathy for
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oh
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oh do you feel do you feel like maybe
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your friends aren't genuine cry me a
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goddamn river okay are you living in a
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cardboard box on the sidewalk i don't
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think so oh do you feel like maybe you
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don't have purpose in life go find
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purpose don't cry about it okay
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you have endless resources endless
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resources to to
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carve a path of your own without having
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to rely on mama and papa to do
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everything for you i know it's tough
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it's tough when you have someone wiping
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your ass for you every single day and
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you have servants doing everything for
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you it's tough to get out of that
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comfort zone and actually have to work
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for something but if you want to find
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purpose work for it okay after your
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therapy session maybe think about what
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you want to do with your life
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so
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i i'm definitely more conflicted than
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anna on this because
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um
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of two reasons and then i'll go back to
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supporting it okay
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so
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number one it's so hard for us to
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understand how they grew up they they
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have they
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never had to work for anything
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and so
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and i say this i i get how deeply ironic
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it is right but it sapped them of the
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best part of life the best to me the
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best part of life is fulfillment that's
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why i talked to you guys like hey get
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involved go join wolf pack or just
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democrats rebellion by whatever or
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whatever your local group is because
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fulfillment's a hell of a drug when you
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actually work for something and you get
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it accomplished it feels so good nothing
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feels better than that but they've never
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experienced that their whole lives
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and
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everyone around them is also incredibly
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wealthy and spoiled
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and generally miserable
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so
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they're in a bubble
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they have no idea how we feel about them
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and whenever they get they hear
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oh they're going to do a billionaire tax
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or whatever like that
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they think oh the masses are evil
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and they're coming to get our money and
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all they they didn't they never worked
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for and they just want our money and
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everyone around them says the same thing
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so they really think they're right that
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they're the victims
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and i know it seems impossible to
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believe how could they possibly think
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that but they genuinely do right now
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that doesn't necessarily make it any
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better right but i'm telling you how
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they actually think
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and so
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but i've seen it with my own eyes
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they are really miserable
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they never find happiness because they
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don't they didn't earn it
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uh they're constantly worried that
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people are gonna take their money
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they're obsessed with greed in in the
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book that is almost almost done justice
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is coming is the name of my book and
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just you could pre-order it at
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justicecomingbook.com i have a section
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called
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greed is dumb
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and i tell you why
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we as progressives are smarter than the
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richest people in the world
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because if your goal is money
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it's never enough
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it's an endless cycle of greed so
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they're always like more i need more
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they are they're just like gollum
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they really talk and nailed it precious
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dude just you already have enough enjoy
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your schmucks
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you schmuck of schmucks but they really
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are that clueless but i mean think about
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what it also takes to become
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wealthy in a lot of different cases so
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oftentimes i mean
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there are people who will literally turn
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on their own friends like dave rubin um
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in order to acquire wealth but then what
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are you left with
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you're left in a room full of people who
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don't like you don't respect you don't
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really see you as a friend
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uh you abandoned your real friends and
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sure you live in a 5 million mansion but
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it's pretty damn lonely in that mansion
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where everyone in the outside world is
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mocking you constantly right so that's a
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little bit different anna because they
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didn't grow up rich so the the reubens
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and doors of the world they're crying in
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their mansions all alone and yeah but my
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point is like i get what you're saying
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and there isn't there is a difference
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like if you've
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if you've been raised in a wealthy
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family that that's a different
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experience from um you know becoming
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incredibly wealthy but my point is
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wealth by itself is not something that's
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going to make an individual happy what
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makes what makes a person happy like
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really stop and think about it
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let's not joke ourselves obviously we
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all need to have our basic needs met we
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all need to have a roof over our heads
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uh comfort in our lives and all of that
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but your happiest moments in life are
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not the moments where you're like coming
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up with a ton of cash right it's the
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moments where you get to enjoy
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moments with your family right with your
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friends when you have experiences when
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you're at a concert with people when
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you're um you're able to share an
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experience with your loved ones when you
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experience love with your partner right
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intimacy like th that is what that's
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like our
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that's in our code like that's what
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humans are right like a sense of
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community and i think that in our
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society in the united states there's
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just always such an emphasis on property
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on money on wealth on all the material
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stuff that i think it kind of makes
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people assume that money is like the
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end-all be-all of creating happiness in
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your life it doesn't create happiness
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and in the case of these like people who
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grow up in wealthy families
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yeah since they've had everything handed
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to them they don't know what it's like
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to have to work hard and accomplish
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something on your own and feel the
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thrill of accomplishing something right
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that's why they don't have this sense of
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purpose but get over it you can
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create a path for yourself you can use
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the resources that you're super lucky to
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have because of your wealthy family to
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create a path for yourself
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i mean siobhan could have done that she
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could have been the campaign manager for
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the you know bootleg bernie sanders but
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she didn't do it because she wants
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validation from daddy
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i'm talking about succession sorry yeah
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no absolutely yeah so last part of the
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roller coaster here a couple turns left
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real quick um look i've never heard
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anyone say uh oh no you don't need money
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unless they were rich okay
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for poor folks and middle class folks
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you know you need money um but at the
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same time you shouldn't be obsessed with
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it because
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it's definitive it does not bring you
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the happiness you think it brings you
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and there's limits right there's
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different thresholds you get to a
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certain threshold actually 70 000 a year
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we've showed you the studies before i'm
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surprised it's that small that low right
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and that's higher than the average uh
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america's income but it's not like a
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millionaire or anything you get to a
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certain threshold where you're not
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scared to death of of not being able to
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pay the rent or the mortgage and and
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getting humiliated etc you know not
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being able to feed your kids once you
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get past that threshold
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then we're all nearly even and then i'm
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sure there are other thresholds but once
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you get to a point where you're at
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extreme wealth
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the incremental donald's dollars do not
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help you at all they probably hurt you
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right so and by the way but progressives
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at the same time don't hate all wealthy
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people that's crazy there's a lot of
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wealthy people who started out poor
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middle class and made it
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and whether they started out middle
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class or not there's a lot of wealthy
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people who do good things in the world
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so don't use it as a blanket statement
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that's crazy and then the last turn is
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this but if you're not obscenely wealthy
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and but you're middle class you're
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hanging in there you're doing all right
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please enjoy life
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there is no magical place where things
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are filled with unicorns and rainbows
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you probably have it as good as it gets
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no life always sucks like let's just be
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clear about that no matter what no last
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turn i didn't expect but like
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your life is probably not going to get
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any better than it is now
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no
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no hold on but think about it okay
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because again what really does make you
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happy in life it's the people around us
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the people closest to us and as we get
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older those people slowly pass
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and i know that's like a morbid thing to
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say but it really helps me personally
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enjoy the present because i have the
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people that i love the most still with
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me and so when i'm going through
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something tough i'm like hey at least i
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get to go visit my parents over the
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weekend or i get to spend time with
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these loved ones and so try to try to
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put all of that in context whatever
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you're going through right now it'll
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eventually pass but don't forget to
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enjoy the good parts of your life right
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now yeah so to summarize
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rich people
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go do something good in the world you'll
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be shocked at how good you feel that's
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the the cure to the therapy that you
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need okay that's just
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if you're miserable go spend that money
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on yourself and on others and you'll
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feel amazing and if you're not obscenely
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wealthy like these folks
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don't sweat it man it's that kind of
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wealth you don't need it and oftentimes
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it makes you or certainly your kids way
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more miserable and i'll end on this
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russell brandon was once on the show and
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i asked him
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uh because he said he had he was really
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miserable growing up and and then he
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became famous and he always wanted to be
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famous and wealthy and i asked russell
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did did it work
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once you got fame
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did you feel better and he said
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not at all it didn't fill the hole in my
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heart at all
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and so
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it's an illusion it's an illusion that
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the media gives you oh if you're just
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rich or if you're just famous you'll be
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fine no you can be fine now of course
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you need some money there's no question
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about that but there's so many wonderful
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things around you and in a sense
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the good news is we all don't know how
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good we have it it doesn't get that much
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better up there thanks for watching the
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young turks so really appreciate it
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