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Covid Truthers Claim Unvaccinated Sperm Will Be The Next Bitcoin - YouTube
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鈾櫔
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>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
WELCOME BACK.
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LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR JON
BATISTE, STAY HUMAN.
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THANK YOU JON, DELIGHTFUL.
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COMING UP IN JUST A MINUTE, JON,
YOU KNOW WHO IS THE GREATEST
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MEDICAL CORRESPONDENT ON TV,
DR. JON LaPOOK.
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WE'VE HAD MR. LaPOOK ON MANY
TIMES OVER THE COVID CRISIS AND
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HE'S ON AGAIN TONIGHT.
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WHAT I LIKE ABOUT IT T IT IS NOT
JUST THAT HE IS INFORMED, IT IS
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THAT HE HAS GOT A FUNNY NAME,
LaPOOK.
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>> Jon: ST A COME DOE SHOW.
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>> Stephen: IT DOESN'T TAKE
ANYTHING AWAY FROM HIS
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ACCOMPLISHMENTS OR INTELLIGENCE
OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT BUT WHEN
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YOU TALK ABOUT A HEAVY SUBJECT
LIKE COVID, EVERY TIME YOU SAY
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DR. LaPOOK, IT SAY LITTLE
FUNNY, JUST A LITTLE FUNNY, THAT
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HELPS.
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>> Jon: EASY ICEBREAKER.
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>> Stephen: BALANCES THINGS
OUT.
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FOLKS
>> Stephen: HERE IN THE STATES,
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WE'RE DEALING WITH OUR OWN
SHOCKINGLY FAST SURGE.
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EXPERTS ARE NOW SAYING THAT DUE
TO THE DELTA VARIANT, THE FOURTH
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WAVE OF COVID-19 IN THE U.S.
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COULD BE WORSE THAN THE THIRD.
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ARE YOU SURE THERE'S NOT MORE I
COULD TALK ABOUT IN AFGHANISTAN?
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ALL RIGHT,
THIS COVID NEWS COMES FROM
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DIRECTOR OF THE NATIONAL
INSTITUTES OF HEALTH AND
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INFECTIOUS DISEASE PROP COMIC,
FRANCIS COLLINS.
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YESTERDAY, COLLINS BROKE DOWN
JUST HOW BAD IT COULD GET:
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>> I WILL BE SURPRISED IF WE
DON'T CROSS 200,000 CASES A DAY
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IN THE NEXT COUPLE OF WEEKS AND
THAT'S HEARTBREAKING CONSIDERING
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WE NEVER THOUGHT WE WOULD BE
BACK IN THAT SPACE AGAIN.
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>> Stephen: NO.
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WE CAN'T GO BACK TO THAT SPACE
AGAIN, OR ELSE I'LL HAVE TO GO
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BACK TO 'THIS' SPACE AGAIN.
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IF I'M GOING THERE, ALL OF YOU
ARE COMING WITH ME I'LL FIT YOU
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IN EVEN IF IT MEANS I HAVE TO
CHOP YOU INTO CUBES AND STACK
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YOU LIKE LEGO, I WILL NOT BE
ALONE AGAIN.
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DELTA IS TAKING A HUGE TOLL ON
THE UNVACCINATED-- A GROUP THAT
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INCLUDES CHILDREN AND PEOPLE
ACTING LIKE CHILDREN.
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AND THE REST OF US ARE STARTING
TO GET PISSED OFF.
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IN A NEW CBS/YOU GOV/ME TARZAN
POLL, AMONG CALIFORNIANS WHO'VE
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GOTTEN THEIR SHOTS, 59% SAY THE
UNVACCINATED ARE PUTTING PEOPLE
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LIKE ME AT RISK, WHILE 47% SAY
THE UNVACCINATED MAKE ME UPSET
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OR ANGRY.
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UPSET OR ANGRY?
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WHY CHOOSE?
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THOSE ARE TWO GREAT FLAVORS THAT
GO GREAT TOGETHER.
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LIKE PEANUT BUTTER AND WHISKEY.
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IT'S BEEN A LONG PANDEMIC.
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BECAUSE OF THE DELTA SURGE,
STARTING TODAY, NEW YORK CITY IS
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REQUIRING PROOF OF VACCINATION
FOR INDOOR DINING, GYMS, AND
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ENTERTAINMENT.
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I'M SO HAPPY I'M VACCINATED --
FOR TWO OF THOSE THREE.
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IF MY GYM ASKS, I'M SCARED OF
BILL GATES.
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IF YOU'RE IN THE CITY AND WANT
TO ATTEND A PREMIERE CULTURAL
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INSTITUTION, LIKE, LET'S SAY,
THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER, YOU CAN
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(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
SIMPLY , SHOW YOUR VACCINATION
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CARD.
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AND THEY WILL CHECK TO MAKE SURE
IT'S REAL-- IT'S GOTTA HAVE THE
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C.D.C. LOGO AND BE ALL BENT UP
FROM BEING TOO BIG FOR YOUR
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WALLET.
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AND IT'S IMPORTANT
CUZ FAKE VACCINE I.D.s ARE OUT
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THERE.
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OVER THE WEEKEND, FEDERAL AGENTS
SEIZED THOUSANDS OF FAKE COVID
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VACCINATION CARDS DESTINED FOR
LOCATIONS ACROSS THE U.S..
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THEY BECAME SUSPICIOUS WHEN THEY
NOTICED THE FORMS HAD ERRORS,
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INCLUDING MISSPELLINGS,
UNFINISHED WORDS AND INCORRECT
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SPANISH TRANSLATIONS.
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SO DO NOT TRUST ANY CARD THAT
CLAIMS TO SHOW:
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"PORF OF VARXINATION AGINT EL
NOW, ANTI-VAXERS HAVE ALL KINDS
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OF STUPID REASONS THEY OPPOSE
GETTING THEIR SHOTS.
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BUT MAYBE THE STUPIDEST IS THAT
THEY THINK THEIR 'PURE' SEMEN
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WILL SKYROCKET IN VALUE.
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I GUESS THAT SPAM EMAIL WAS
TELLING THE TRUTH: YOU REALLY
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CN MAKE TONS OF MONEY FROM
HOME.
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IT SHOULD BE NOTED THAT STUDIES
HAVE DEFINITIVELY SHOWN THAT
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GETTING VACCINATED DOES NOT, IN
FACT, AFFECT SPERM QUALITY OR
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COUNT.
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BUT SOME COVID TRUTHERS HAVE
CLAIMED THAT THE VACCINE CAUSES
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MASS MALE INFERTILITY AND THAT
ALL MALES WHO HAVE BEEN
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VACCINATED ARE EFFECTIVELY
STERILE.
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SOUNDS FISHY, BUT I WILL POINT
OUT, THEY VACCINATED PEOPLE OVER
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75 FIRST, AND EVER SINCE, NONE
OF THEM HAVE HAD KIDS.
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WITH QUALITY SPERM SUPPOSEDLY
HARD TO FIND, ANTI-VAXERS THINK
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UNVACCINATED SPERM WILL BE THE
NEXT BITCOIN.
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SO, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, YOU
CAN INVEST IN A "SPANK BANK."
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WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CBS
CHIEF MEDICAL CORRESPONDENT DR
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JON LAPOOK.
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(APPLAUSE)
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