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Back in Black - Republicans Don't Know What Insurance Is: The Daily Show - YouTube
Channel: The Daily Show with Trevor Noah
[1]
There's so much health care news
to talk about,
[3]
it's hard to get to all of it.
[5]
Thankfully, when a news story
falls through the cracks,
[8]
Lewis Black catches it for a
segment we call "Back In Black."
[12]
♪ ♪
[19]
Let's face it,
America sucks at health care.
[22]
For starters,
we're the only country
[24]
that decided to turn illness
into a goldmine.
[28]
That's why,
even though my proctologist
[31]
is just a pervert in a lab coat,
[34]
I have to keep him
because he's "in network."
[37]
And the way things have been
going, I wouldn't be shocked
[41]
if the Republicans'
new turd sandwich of a bill
[43]
makes it to Trump's desk
and he actually eats the thing.
[47]
But here's
why Republicans in Congress
[49]
will never be able
to fix health care--
[52]
they don't even know
what health insurance is!
[56]
You have to buy all of these
different kinds
[59]
of health insurance,
a lot of which you don't need,
[62]
can't afford, don't want, isn't
right for you and your family.
[65]
The young healthy person's gonna
be made to buy health care,
[68]
and they're gonna pay
for the person, you know,
[70]
who gets breast cancer
in her 40s,
[72]
or who gets heart disease
in his 50s.
[74]
The whole idea of Obamacare
is the people
[76]
on the blue side pay for
the people on the red side.
[78]
The people who are healthy pay
for the people who are sick.
[81]
Now listen, Paul Ryan,
[83]
you spoiled vanilla milk shake,
[85]
you fountainhead of spit,
[88]
you vomitorium of congeniality.
[92]
Insurance isn't the healthy
paying for the sick,
[95]
it's the healthy paying
[97]
to slow down pay down
their inevitable demise,
[100]
which might be helpful
in a country
[103]
that stuffs hot dogs into pizza.
[106]
But while we're at it, why do I
pay for the fire department?
[110]
My house isn't on fire
and it never will be.
[114]
(cheers and applause)
[118]
And not only are the GOP
[120]
trying to sneak this
douche document into law,
[123]
they're also using Obamacare's
[125]
own money to undermine it.
[128]
The administration
is using money
[130]
that is supposed to help people
get insurance
[131]
by putting up, online,
[133]
these advertisements trying
to convince legislators
[135]
to vote against the
Affordable Care Act.
[138]
Deductibles are higher,
coverage is less,
[140]
the gap is getting wider.
[141]
You're going against the
American system of competition,
[144]
capitalism, "the best wins"
sort of scenario.
[148]
The system had
a lot of problems,
[150]
but it wasn't in crises.
[152]
There wasn't a crises.
[154]
There is now.
[156]
Oh, we're in a crisis all right.
[159]
Health care isn't more
affordable, but at least now
[162]
we've got those taxpayer-funded
[164]
136 YouTube views.
[168]
A video of my left nut
would get more hits.
[173]
Not ...
[175]
(cheers and applause)
[177]
Not my right one, though.
[179]
He's shy.
[182]
This whole thing
is not brain surgery.
[184]
If you want affordable
health insurance to work,
[187]
you need young healthy people
to sign up.
[190]
So since none of you assholes
know how to make that happen,
[193]
I made some new ads for the HHS,
free of charge.
[197]
Hi. I'm Dr. Lewis Black.
[200]
Want to know why the
Affordable Care Act is failing?
[204]
Because young fidget-spinning
(bleep) nuts across America
[208]
think they're invincible,
so they aren't buying in.
[212]
Well, news flash.
[214]
Life is just death
in slow motion,
[218]
even if you feel hashtag
#blessed.
[223]
If you think it's expensive
to replace a cracked iPhone,
[227]
try fixing a shattered femur.
[230]
Age is just a number,
especially for blood clots;
[233]
they'll take you down
at any age.
[236]
Think you'll be young
and healthy forever?
[239]
I have arthritis
in my entire body,
[242]
except for these two fingers.
[246]
Health insurance
is only about your health,
[249]
so (bleep) it.
[251]
Sign up for health insurance.
[255]
(cheers and applause)
[258]
Now, that's advice
we can all agree on.
[262]
-Trevor.
-Lewis Black, everyone.
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