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Jonathan Pie: 'Boris Johnson Is a Liar' | NYT Opinion - YouTube
Channel: The New York Times
[5]
Mm-hm, yeah.
[6]
No, no, no, itâs
great to be here.
[7]
Great to be here.
[9]
Itâs The New York Times. Itâs very exciting.
[12]
Yes, I can hear you, yeah.
[14]
See if you can do
something with these eyes.
[16]
Iâve got bags like
Yodaâs ball sac.
[19]
So you just want me to explain
why British people are so
[22]
[expletive] off with Boris
Johnson, basically.
[25]
In a way that an
American audience
[26]
can understand, right.
[27]
Without swearing,
obviously. Sorry.
[30]
Let me think.
[30]
Boris Johnson, a demonstrable
liar whoâs only out
[33]
for himself.
[35]
Donât know if that sounds
familiar to an American
[37]
audience.
[38]
Boris Johnson, a
narcissist with [expletive] hair.
[44]
Again, sound familiar?
[46]
Actually, I canât
say âliar,â can I?
[49]
Really?
[50]
Oh, in the U.K., you
canât call them liars.
[53]
You have to say, like,
âOh, he inadvertently
[55]
misled Parliament.â
[57]
Seriously, I can just
come out and say it?
[59]
Call him a liar?
[60]
Oh, God bless America.
[63]
OK, letâs go
for one, shall we?
[65]
Yeah.
[65]
The first thing you need to
know about Boris Johnson is
[68]
heâs a liar.
[70]
Trumpian is the ease with
which he tells porkies.
[73]
But Boris is a product
of a system that â
[76]
Sorry?
[77]
Porkies, porky pies.
[79]
Lies.
[80]
Cockney rhyming slang.
[81]
You know, âapples and pearsâ
and â you donât have that,
[83]
do â no, of course you donât.
[84]
American audience.
[85]
Sorry, New York Times.
[88]
Boris Johnson is a liar.
Just keep it simple.
[91]
Stick to that. All right.
[92]
Letâs start from
the beginning, OK?
[95]
It began with a party.
[98]
âIt seems there really
might have been a Christmas
[100]
party at Downing Street.â
[101]
âStaff here in No.
10 held a large party,
[103]
seemingly breaking
Covid rules.â
[105]
Two parties.
[107]
âNew allegations that he
broke his own Covid lockdown
[109]
rules again.â
[111]
Sixteen of them.
[112]
Sixteen separate piss-ups,
most of them when the rest
[116]
of the country was
in full lockdown.
[118]
âYou should not be
meeting friends.
[119]
If your friends ask you to
meet, you should say no.â
[123]
At a time when the prime
minister was telling us all
[126]
to have no social contact
with friends, colleagues
[129]
and, in thousands of
instances, dying relatives,
[133]
when the cops were handing
out fines for anyone inviting
[136]
more than two people
over for a cup of tea,
[138]
the people who set those
rules were having work drinks,
[142]
summer garden parties and,
later, Christmas office quiz
[146]
nights.
[146]
But the one that got
us really riled up.
[149]
âTwo parties were
held at No. 10,
[152]
the night before the Duke
of Edinburghâs funeral.â
[154]
Boris was forced to apologize
to the queen when it emerged
[158]
two of those parties took
place the night before her
[161]
husbandâs funeral.
[162]
The queen, sheâs
our head of state,
[165]
bit like your president.
[166]
But sheâs in her 90s, so sheâs
a lot younger than your guy.
[170]
So on the day that the
queen sat on her own at her
[174]
husbandâs funeral because
of rules Boris had set,
[177]
his closest colleagues
in government were taking
[179]
Alka-Seltzer and the
morning-after pill,
[182]
having got blind
drunk on B.Y.O. M.&S. G.&T.s.
[185]
B.Y.O., âbring your own,â
booze, drink, alcohol.
[188]
M.&S., Markâs and Spencerâs. Itâs like a British upmarket
[192]
Walmart, except you can buy
butter instead of military-
[194]
grade assault rifles.
[196]
G.&.Ts, âgin and tonics.â A sort
of English alcoholic Sprite.
[201]
Anyway.
[202]
âAll the guidelines
were observed.
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I thought that I was
attending a work event.â
[208]
Boris denied any knowledge
of any parties until it became
[211]
clear he was at some of them.
[214]
âMr. Speaker, I
want to apologize.â
[216]
I.e., he lied.
[218]
To the country
and to Parliament.
[220]
And he did it again this week
when he lied to Parliament
[222]
by denying that
heâd previously lied
[224]
to Parliament.
[225]
And thatâs Boris all over.
[227]
His lies are no secret.
[229]
He essentially
lied to the queen
[230]
when he illegally
shut down Parliament.
[232]
He lied to the
country when he said
[234]
Brexit would be good for
farming and fishing
[237]
and trade deals
and the economy.
[240]
Heâs been fired
twice for lying.
[242]
He was fired as a journalist
from The London Times
[245]
newspaper for simply
just making stuff up.
[248]
And he was fired for lying
about shagging someone behind
[251]
his wifeâs back.
[252]
And âshaggingâ is English
for âmaking love,â
[255]
but in a sort of around
the back of the pub
[257]
and next to some
bins sort of way.
[259]
A pub, thatâs a British bar
where they serve warm ale
[262]
and Scotch eggs.
[263]
Scotch eggs, theyâre boiled
eggs covered in sausage meat
[266]
and bread crumbs, and
theyâre [expletive] disgusting.
[270]
Sorry, Iâve just gone a bit
off track there, havenât I?
[273]
Bit nervous. New York Times.
[276]
How can someone with
demonstrably questionable
[279]
morals and a more than casual
relationship with the truth
[283]
reach such a
powerful position?
[285]
One word springs to
mind: entitlement.
[288]
Boris comes from a long
succession of posh,
[291]
upper-class, bumbling
idiots who were destined
[294]
for greatness only because
no one has ever or will ever
[298]
tell them theyâre not.
[299]
Boris went to Eton,
a sort of Hogwarts
[303]
for wankers, where you
get taught Latin and tax
[306]
avoidance whilst wearing
full evening dress.
[308]
These people have never
spoken to a real person
[311]
in their life, apart from
perhaps their chauffeur.
[314]
Then on to Oxford,
where Boris Johnson
[317]
was part of the infamous
Bullingdon Club,
[319]
a fun elite social
club for the boys.
[322]
Activities included smashing
up restaurants and burning
[326]
50-pound notes in front of
homeless people, allegedly.
[330]
âBut you know, it was
great fun at the time.â
[332]
And the British
government is full of them,
[335]
entitled arseholes â
[337]
sorry, sorry â
entitled assholes
[340]
with a Bentley and a nanny
making decisions for us
[343]
all about things that they
will never understand.
[346]
Aristocrats running the fifth-largest economy in the world
[350]
whilst allowing 30 percent
of British children
[353]
to live in relative poverty.
[355]
Where the rich get richer
and the poor literally
[359]
get hungrier.
[360]
Millionaires who spend their
time in government giving tax
[364]
breaks and P.P.E. contracts
to their rich mates.
[367]
Cannibals,
self-serving parasites,
[371]
tapeworms in tiaras, swimming
through the intestines
[374]
of the state, sucking
all the goodness out
[377]
of it for their own
repugnant gratification.
[379]
Boris was born into wealth.
[382]
He never wanted for anything,
never really earned his place
[385]
in the world.
[385]
A narcissistic serial shagger,
an opportunistic liar whoâs
[391]
happy to work outside the law
and the realms of accepted
[394]
decency.
[395]
And who has dragged his
once great political party
[398]
into scandal and
moral bankruptcy.
[402]
Sound familiar?
[403]
You can see where Iâm
going with this, right?
[405]
Boris and Trump, both products
of a broken political system
[409]
that rewards
ignorance and hubris.
[412]
And like Trump, Boris
says he loves his country.
[415]
Yet Boris and his cabal of
vicious, right-wing populists
[420]
show open disdain for all
the things good about it.
[423]
The N.H.S., the welfare
state, teachers
[426]
and judges, the courts.
[427]
They hate the BBC and
allow corporations
[430]
to churn raw sewage into
our rivers and beaches.
[434]
Selling off and
deregulating anything
[436]
they can for a quick buck.
[438]
Allowing and openly
encouraging the country
[441]
to rot from the inside out
so they can sell it for scrap
[445]
to the highest bidder.
[449]
Bring it back a bit?
[450]
Yeah, too much, too much.
[453]
It was the self-serving
parasites, wasnât it?
[455]
OK, letâs go for another.
[458]
Actually, can I
get a cup of tea?
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