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Black Enough: biracial people talk about blackness and identity - YouTube
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my friends so there's this thing that
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happens and I make videos talking about
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race on my channel inevitably somebody
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leaves a comment that's like why are you
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been talking about this you're not even
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black and mind you it's always white
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people who comment this and I know why
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they're doing it they're trying to stir
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I get it but that's been a common
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theme in my life that racial identity is
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confusing and weird so I wanted to make
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this video to clear everything up
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I'm definitely black my name is Arielle
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um how do I describe my racial identity
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my name is Derrick I identify as mixed
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probably trending african-american
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because that's how I visually present I
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think of myself as biracial mixed-race
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however you want to call it um I'm
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trying very hard these days to call
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myself black as often as I possibly can
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well so clarify identify as both
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biracial because I have a white parent
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and a black parent and black and I want
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to explain why my racial identity
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doesn't come in a neat package because
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neither does race right like our idea of
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what race is comes from mostly two
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things how we look and what kind of
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culture we grew up in and how I look is
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kind of a minefield if you were to ask
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people to judge my race based on what I
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look like it would sound like the it's a
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small world ride its she's Indian it's
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she's Filipina it's my old boss telling
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people oh the new digital director is
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gonna be great she worked for Hillary
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she's latina it's my friend from high
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schools mom asking who else was gonna be
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at the party so he goes you know Alyssa
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Caitlyn Taylor Oh Taylor is she the
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pretty Pakistani girl it's what are you
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it's a lot of people being very bold and
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specific in their wrongness
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but of course I'm racially ambiguous so
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they have to put me in some kind of
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category to understand me it doesn't
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really matter to them which one I don't
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know if ambiguity itself factors into my
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identity I have other things about me
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that are ambiguous that factor maybe
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more so
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like my gender presentation like people
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see what they want to see in me and you
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know back when I used to have very long
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curly hair I would get stopped on the
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street by Moroccan people who'd be like
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your Moroccan cool let's hang out and
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I'd be like urgently I'm not but hi like
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nice to meet you I'd feel like I could
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be from anywhere but whatever people see
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me as they don't see me or treat me as
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if I'm white like I make it called the
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wrong racial slur on the sidewalk but
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I'm not walking down the sidewalk never
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having heard a racial slur you know my
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phenotype doesn't tell a simple story so
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black is the answer to what are you
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black is the box I check on the form
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because if you're just trying to figure
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out what kind of not white I am so you
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don't actually have to get to know me
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that's the information you're looking
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for so I think like for me woman of
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color is just like this powerful like
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beautiful way of describing myself but
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within that I'm a black woman the other
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major way we think about race is
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cultural and that's messy for me too I
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grew up in a very white area and I went
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to a very white school so I didn't grow
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up watching the same movies or shows or
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listening to the same music as my black
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friends that I've made as an adult it
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took me a while to come into all of that
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I was like 23 before I knew like what a
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fate was like I'm here every week I've
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been cutting it myself since like
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College I didn't grow up with the
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language to communicate like how I
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wanted it to be mm-hmm
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and so like I will do it myself and it's
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not going to be as good as I wanted but
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it's gonna be closer and it's not like
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my mom didn't try to impose some culture
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on me rest assured we always had on
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Whitney or Mariah in the car she was
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left at the first black woman president
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of the State Bar of Wisconsin which is a
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huge achievement in her field and she
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tried to get me to understand the
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gravity of that first she took me to see
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Julian Bond when he spoke at one of
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their meetings she even tried to braid
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my hair and put barrette
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when I was little but I knew that all of
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that stuff made me different and weird
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and I just wanted to fit in in a school
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rise already the kid that everybody
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stared out when we did the Black History
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Month lesson in social studies I didn't
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want to attract any more judgment my
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mother is white she's a redhead
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my father is Trinidadian I think that
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for him even when he was in Trinidad he
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would refer to himself as red because
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he's he's obviously black but he's
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light-skinned black he became black by
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moving to Canada so I think that for him
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he always felt a very strong tie to the
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Caribbean and to Trinidadian culture and
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his black identity is very much tied to
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his his identity as an immigrant the
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identity that he passed on to us was the
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Trinidadian identity you know he wanted
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to make sure that we understood the
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difference between calypso and soca that
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we knew how to eat really spicy foods
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and we knew how to make a good homemade
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curry right like those were things that
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were really important to him than
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talking to us as black women that we
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didn't talk about a lot so my culture
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growing up was pretty white and I'm
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trying to make up for lost time now and
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understand my history and participate
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and all of the joy that comes with black
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culture without being like appropriative
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I don't want a full life where you're
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sort of claiming like the proud parts
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that you like but as soon as there's
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like you know a negative aspect or like
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you face any hardship connected to it
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you like skip back into my privilege
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thank you know I am black if there's any
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like negative aspects of that like my
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privilege to get out of like I'm not
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gonna be the one even it's like skips
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out of that because there's not really
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like a deep rich culture that just
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belongs to biracial people you know like
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neither of your parents quite share that
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experience with you they can't pass down
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biracial nough stew you and more often
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than not your friends don't really get
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it either you're just a little different
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to all of them
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and that can be pretty isolating I do
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sort of feel that there's such a thing
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as biracial court culture in that it is
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a culture of confusion most everybody
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has had to deal with some sort of like
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Who am I how do I qualify what I am and
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what am I allowed to claim okay drink
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talk about someone who would be like
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very much defining in the popular sense
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right like biracial culture or mixed
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culture the beef would push a tee like
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right now there are plenty of legitimate
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criticisms of him for his behavior but
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you went after his identity yes not
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being all right I remember as a teenager
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where they would say some ignorant thing
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that kids say about people with color
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I'd be like guys like I'm right here and
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they go like oh but but you don't count
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right like you're you're you're Arial
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you're not you know you're not black it
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was so painful feeling like I'm not
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black enough is also so deeply tied into
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the degree of privilege that I benefit
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from right like I am I navigate the
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world differently than a much darker
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black woman I have a lot probably a lot
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less challenges than a much darker black
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woman so I think it's difficult to go
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like oh woe is me I want to belong and
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then also have a easier life because of
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this thing that makes me sad right I
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wanted to feel embraced by a culture
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that I loved and I wanted to feel like I
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was a part of it not with an asterisk
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next to my name so I identify with being
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black along with biracial because it's a
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way to ground myself in something bigger
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than me it's so important for me to
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claim my blackness now because I'm so
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proud of that part of me I
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get though that being mixed affords me
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certain privileges because my skin is
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light and my curls are loose and I talk
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in a certain way
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I'm adjacent to whiteness in a way that
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feels safe to white people
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people wanted to include me in there or
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like sort of be happy that they had a
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black friend because they like were very
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clear that they like sort of visually
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saw me as black but they didn't want me
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to act the way they thought black people
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acted they want you to have this sort of
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like performative whiteness I'm more
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likely to be the diversity higher
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because I'm not whatever stereotype they
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envision black people to be it's not
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till I get hired that I get labeled too
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aggressive or too pushy or -
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insubordinate for advocating for even
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better inclusion it's John all this
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weird line where I both benefit from
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white supremacy and undamaged by it if
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you look at the diversity quotients we
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get right it's not like a dark-skinned
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mary jane in the new spider-man
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it's daya light-skinned privilege is
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still a thing and so like
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representations in the culture do skew -
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like - a biracial place because there's
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always gonna be an element of privilege
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in there where I don't want to offend
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anyone and I don't want to overstep but
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I also want to be able to claim my black
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identity and also because I'm in media
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and I want to be able to represent and I
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think it matters that a person of color
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has my job and I think it matters that a
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black woman has my job and then black
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woman has my
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you know all those things are important
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so when people comment you don't look
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black why are you talking about this
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it's because I'm trying to use my
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relative privilege to speak up about
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these issues I'm trying to embrace my
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heritage and all that it entails I'm
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trying to honor my mother and
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grandmother who taught me better than to
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hide from Who I am
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I'm trying to assert that black is
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something to be proud of it's something
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that I'm proud of I am so proud to be
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biracial and black and I'm not gonna
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shut up about it
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in the comments please tell me a little
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bit about how you understand your own
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racial identity if you like this video
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please share it with someone else who
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you think might like it and I'll see you
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soon bye
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[Music]
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