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Global Warming鈥檚 Island Effect, Elon鈥檚 Twitter Poll Disaster & Biden鈥檚 Fart | The Daily Show - YouTube
Channel: The Daily Show with Trevor Noah
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joining me for today's headlines is my
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good friend michael costa what's going
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on michael
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feeling good man yeah i love sitting
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here this is fun i got a great seat
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well it's the only seats i know i'm
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front row seat watching you perform oh i
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appreciate that and then i'll i take
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notes and stuff and i'll email them to
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you after but this is a great seat you
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know
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what i mean notes like like notes about
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like what i'm doing well just positive
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feedback just enjoy it more and don't
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worry about the criticism though yeah
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okay we're doing this thing together
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just think of it like that it's like
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this thing we're doing here sort of like
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sex we're both in it yep and i
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appreciate that you appreciate me and
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i'm just trying to appreciate you but if
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you send me emails afterwards yeah yeah
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that's true that's true
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and now that i think about it that
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that's been one of the issues i've had
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in previous relationships
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emailing emailing after sex well we live
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and we learn much yeah thank you for
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helping me today all right well let's do
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it let's get into today's headlines
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we kick things off with climate change
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it's humanity's way of getting revenge
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on that titanic iceberg now some of the
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biggest victims of climate change are
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actually going to be island nations
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which could be completely swallowed by
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rising sea levels
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and one of these nations is trying to
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call attention to this danger
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one world leader demonstrating the
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impact of climate change on his home
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tuvalu's foreign minister recorded his
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cop 26 message in knee-high waters
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island nations like his are particularly
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vulnerable to the impacts of climate
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change some world leaders at cop 26 are
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asking if wealthy industrialized nations
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should pay reparations for damage
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already caused by climate change yeah
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that's a powerful image although next
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time i wouldn't smile
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you know i wouldn't be in like the water
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being like we're dying it doesn't have
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the same effect
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but it is powerful still island nations
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can't survive
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if everybody is in waste deep water it's
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a terrible thing i mean there is one
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benefit and that is you can pee whenever
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you want and nobody will know but that
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will make up for all the other problems
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and i hope a message like this will spur
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the world to take action especially rich
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first world nations
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because if these islands sink there's a
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lot of tax haven money that's going to
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drown
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and i know what you're thinking right
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now if this means staten island goes
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away forever then it's worth it right
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trevor no
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we need to protect all islands
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because think about it think about how
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much islands have given to the world
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without islands there's no dream
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vacations there's no rihanna there's no
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cool runnings there's no more seasons of
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the white lotus and then what are white
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people gonna watch huh
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succession yeah i mean i guess they
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could watch succession but that's one
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less show
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you know what i mean white lotus in
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succession of my two favorite tv shows
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did you mention that
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yeah i literally just said that now i
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feel like white people love those shows
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yeah that's what i was saying oh right
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do you find it interesting that he had
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that blue screen behind him in the water
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like was he trying to change his zoom
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background
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doesn't he know that most people make
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their background a beautiful beach or
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the ocean well i think if you if you
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live in a place you try and do the
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opposite background so he would do a
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city background yeah he would probably
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do like like a tiny apartment in new
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york as his background
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well that's an interesting commentary
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that we all kind of want what isn't
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right in front of us
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you know i don't know if it's powerful i
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mean it's just a little observation that
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we have there was a small observation i
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made and and you bring up a great point
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about smiling i think that image would
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be even more effective if it was terror
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on their face
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you know that's also what i said i know
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well that's what i mean i'm really
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absorbing from this seat
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thank you michael yes
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all right let's move on to our next
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story which is about elon musk who is
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the ceo of tesla and jeff bezos on mali
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as the world's richest man musk gets a
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lot of perks in his life right he has
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his own space force he can invent a new
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language to name his baby and he can
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watch hulu without the ads
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another big thing about being super rich
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is that musk basically never has to pay
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taxes
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yeah because all his money is in assets
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like stocks he doesn't actually earn an
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income from doing his job so he doesn't
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have to pay income tax so right now
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right now there's a movement in congress
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to tax wealth instead of income because
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of situations like this and elon musk he
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hates this idea like it's paper currency
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but unlike most super wealthy people who
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would just like quietly pay off a
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senator behind the scenes no musk took
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his fight to twitter
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and he he he hosted a poll right he took
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a poll asking whether he should sell 10
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of his shares in tesla which would earn
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him about 25 billion dollars
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which he would then have to pay taxes on
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and i mean even that people even that
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just shows you how wild it is to be a
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billionaire you hold a poll on twitter
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that says should i pay taxes like you
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normal people try doing that the
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irs will answer that in person they'll
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be at your house yo you send that tweet
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what
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so how did elon's poll go well uh he's
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definitely paying something and the
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twitter verse has spoken elon musk asked
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millions of twitter users if he should
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sell ten percent of his tesla shares the
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results are in nearly 58 percent of
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people said yes while 42 said no tesla
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down big after elon musk asked twitter
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users whether he should sell 10 percent
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of his stock that's taking four or four
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and a half percent out of tesla yeah
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because of elon's tweets tesla's stock
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crashed instantly
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which should be a lesson you never take
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financial advice from random ass users
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on twitter that's what reddit is for
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but at the same time i
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actually find this kind of refreshing
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you know i mean yeah elon musk is
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unpredictable but he's the only ceo
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who's having a good time
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he's running tesla but he's also the
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mascot you know it's almost like if the
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pillsbury doughboy was also the ceo that
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would be so much fun you know just him
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going around the office telling people
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to touch his belly button
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don't tell hr about this
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and by the way if he actually ends up
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paying taxes on that stock you realize
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that's going to be like billions of
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dollars for the united states government
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all of a sudden
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like just at once
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i really hope that you voted in the
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election last tuesday but i really
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really hope you voted in elon's twitter
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poll because that my friends is clearly
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the vote that really matters
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did you vote
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i didn't vote but i feel for
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those astronauts flying on a spacex
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rocket ship right now whose toilet broke
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and they're wearing diapers in
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their own pants
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going i wish someone would fix the
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toilet what's our ceo doing sending out
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a twitter poll
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wouldn't that be frustrating i think i
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think this is a cry for cash he needs
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cat there's a difference between wealth
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and actually having money and i think
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this guy's broke man wait wait you think
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elon musk is like he's cash bro i don't
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think he has any cash i think if you go
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to applebee's with elon musk he can't
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split appetizers with you you know he'll
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smile he'll be like you guys i'm elon
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musk and they'll go we need 11 dude do
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you have 11 i got stock options where's
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your money dude that's what i'm
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saying you know what i mean i i guess
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yeah who's on twitter polls come on
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children what do children not have money
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do you see how i drew that conclusion
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yes i do perfectly yeah
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so that's a really interesting way of
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seeing things thank you i'm glad i have
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you here michael
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all right finally let's talk about joe
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biden president of the united states and
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baby boomer with gen z teeth
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after a rough few months biden just had
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a pretty good weekend
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congress finally passed his big
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infrastructure bill the economy added
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more than half a million new jobs and
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daylight savings means it's not as weird
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when he falls asleep at 5 pm
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unfortunately for biden the story most
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people are talking about
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is this one camilla duchess of cornwall
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just can't stop talking about president
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biden's faux pas in glasgow at the
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climate conference last week he
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apparently passed wind in front of her
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with a palace source claiming his own
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emissions were long
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and loud and impossible to ignore so let
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me translate that for you passing wind
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is farting
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yes joe biden farted that's what he did
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british people are so fancy he passed
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wind
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where did he pass it sounds like you
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were going past it
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no he passed when the wind was passing
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through you that is a fart we have a
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word for that
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and also can you really blame joe biden
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i mean if you're going to blame anyone
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blame british cuisine
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you can't serve a 78 year old man baked
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beans for breakfast and then act shocked
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when he blows the doors off the hinges
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and joe biden can't be happy about this
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getting out both the fart and the news
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about the farts
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because it doesn't matter how powerful
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you are once you fought no one takes you
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seriously
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nobody like i don't care who you are you
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fought people stop taking like jesus
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could come back today but if he fought
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it in the middle of it he'd have to go
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and chill in heaven for another 2000
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years until we forget
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and by the way just by the way of all
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people the british royal family has no
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right judging anybody about anything
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especially not a fart you're the last
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people who can judge good heavens
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president biden farted i simply have to
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go tell my uncle who is also my husband
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about this as soon as he gets back from
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jeffrey epstein's sex island
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you know what if i was joe biden i would
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have just owned this yeah
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i would have gone back to the american
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press and i would have been like yeah
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yeah i fought it and well it wasn't a
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mistake i saw the crown that thought was
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for diana
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man man
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america
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believes in farting that's what i love
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about this country yeah and england is
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you know it's like not proper to fart
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that's why you look at somebody the
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royalty their face is always like
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they're holding it in right but america
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we believe in the freedom to fart that's
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why the american flag is always waving
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that's that's how george washington
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crossed the delaware you know the statue
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of liberty that torch is eternal because
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they hooked up a hose from her butthole
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all the way up to the torch well i don't
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know if that's true
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it's true
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but i'm glad that you were proud yeah
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i'm proud of that the american farts
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that's powerful yeah it's like the
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nation
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powerful like
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you know what i mean
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i think we solved it dude thank you well
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thank you michael and thank you so much
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for being here i look forward to your
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email
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[Music]
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you
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