The Purse Filler (Logic Parody) - YouTube

Scumbag coming into scavenge cause I'm petty got a habit Imma jack it

I'm not spending a penny cause see I stuff that roll up in the ride

Ain't no way to tell I'm keeping no money to buy keep no loot inside my duff bag

Probably cause I'm filling it by stealing shit

I come in with a plan cause I'm shady I leave without paying

I'm thieving like a really really really big baby that's hangry

I'm scoping out the aisle ain't nobody checking me out

Everything I'm after in a minute see yea it's going in my pouch

They won't dare to arrest me cause not a single one of you undercovers can catch me

That may be cause I'm really good at waiting really patient if I say I'm gonna take it

Then I try to be calm and try to be smooth keep cool that's it

Can a single one of you money suckers see my bag? Shit

Notice how I sit and I wait get a glimpse look away

Now days everybody getting paid shits lame

I just watch and I gaze when I see em and I need em I know I'm eating what I'm stealing when I'm filling this I'm feeding myself

Yea yea gotta yoink cause I'm keeping my wealth

Mass thieving like this can't be good for my stealth

When I rob like this am I obvious?

Well it don't really matter cause I'm stealing that shit

Yea I'm stealing that shit oh yea oh yea I'm stealing that shit

Lady how many times you been stealing that shit?

I do it all the time my bad I'm a dick

Scumbag coming into scavenge cause I'm petty got a habit Imma jack it

I'm not spending a penny cause see I stuff that roll up in the ride

Ain't no way to tell I'm keeping no money to buy keep no loot inside my duff bag

Probably cause I'm filling it by stealing shit

I come in with a plan cause I'm shady I leave without paying

I'm thieving like a really really really really really really really really really broke lady

There's no one in line I gotta dip when it's time hit em with that loot loot loot

Then I slide I'm gon' leave em stupefied I'm gonna lift till I die

I got sausage I want those I got both SpaghettiO's

No I ain't done with just that

Yea there's a time to escape but if you ain't come out with the biggest of sacks

Copping myself the greatest of finds then I load my purse up with that

No no oh no no I shouldn't get snacks

I'm gon' get fat, I'm gon' take all four them bags

I'm gon' take popcorn to smash, I'm gon' take lots more then dash

Robbing stores

Scumbag coming into scavenge cause I'm petty got a habit Imma jack it

I'm not spending a penny cause see I stuff that roll up in the ride

Ain't no way to tell I'm keeping no money to buy keep no loot inside my duff bag

Probably cause I'm filling it by stealing shit

I come in with a plan cause I'm shady I leave without paying

I'm thieving like a really really really really really really really really really broke lady

Did a tall, did a tall man in a hat leave?

I'm sorry?

Did a tall man getting gas leave yet?

I have no idea

Yo get back in here! Get back in here now!

I saw everything you stole

I didn't take anything

Dude, open up your bag

Open up your bag

Take it out!

We have you on camera

Either that or you can deal with the police

Alright now let's break this down right here this nice lady's gonna open

the door for she's gonna come inside look up at the counter you know always

gotta look up at the counter then she's gonna bite her nail and she's gonna make her

way into the chip aisle she's got that look of confusion on her face now she's

gonna start looking at all of the huge bags of chips now those are way too big

to fit inside your purse you know that would take up most of the space so she's

gonna keep working her way down no she doesn't want combos she doesn't want

bugles she's gonna make her way towards that famous middle aisle oh snap look at

that canned goods section that's a pretty good selection so she's gonna

look up make sure that customers not paying attention to her last thing you

want is a paying customer to rat you out one more look yep he is going up to the

counter the clerks about to be busy I think I found what I want yep she's

ringing him up I think I'll take one Vienna sausage look up the counter one

more time you know what one's not gonna do I'm gonna grab two look at the counter

yeah they're busy so I think I'm just gonna shove those right into my purse

but wait she's not done yet she found the SpaghettiOs now looks like she's

still in the clear she's gonna take one she's gonna take two SpaghettiOs boom

right into the purse she's gonna pull her purse up then she's gonna give that look

of confusion like I don't know what I want man I don't think they have what I

want here I'm just gonna keep standing here looking around like I don't know

what I want you know as long as it looks like I don't know what I want then

they'll think I didn't want to buy anything you know what I'm saying

but she knows what she wants she wants some Vienna sausages ew

who eats those things who buys those things apparently nobody they steal them

so she's gonna look up at the counter she's good she found the popcorn it's movie

night now she's him grab one nope one's not enough two three four she's gonna

grab four bags of popcorn then she's gonna make her way over here towards the

wine rack and oh this is a perfect spot you know far away hidden from the

register yep let's just slip those bags into my purse and we good we're on the

homestretch alright I gotta finish off strong my purse is nice and

concealed only one thing left to do I got to talk to the cashier you know as

long as you talk to the cashier they won't think you're a thief

So I'm just gonna ask her a dumb question

Did a tall, did a tall man in a hat leave?

Oh dang she doesn't know

Haha alright plan worked perfectly she definitely doesn't think I'm a thief now gotta leave

I didn't take anything

So she continues to deny it she's gonna make her way towards

the car she's gonna throw the purse into the backseat and she's gonna try closing

her door on my coworker now uh oh here comes the boss lady she's a black belt

that's less person you want to piss off now she's gonna try and run her over

So she decides to give up she starts unloading her purse the boss lady has no

clue how much she stole so she's mind-blown right now at how much she's

pulling out she even tried giving back a pack of women's razors before she

realized oh crap I didn't steal those from here so she obviously stole them

from somewhere else so we think we got everything back and then after we go

inside to review the footage we realized she boned us on a Vienna Sausage, she gone!