The First Ten Steps Toward Separation and Divorce - YouTube

What are the first ten steps toward separation or divorce.

Hi, I'm Brian Galbraith and owner of Galbraith Family Law.

We're divorce lawyers with offices in Barrie, Orillia, and Newmarket.

There are many considerations when going through a separation, but here are probably the best

top 10 first steps for you to take.

Number 1, take care of yourself.

You've heard flight attendants say when the oxygen mask drops down from the ceiling, put

it on yourself before you go to help anyone else.

Well, that's good advice when you're going through a separation and divorce.

You need to look after yourself before you can look after your family or children and

so on.

So what that means is obvious.

Eating well, getting good sleep, getting exercise, finding some spiritual nourishment such as

meditation or religious help or getting some help through a counsellor or therapist.

There's a very good book I recommend.

It's by Abigail Trafford.

It's called Crazy Time.

It's a really great explanation of the emotional journey of separation and divorce.

Get that, take the time to read it and look after yourself.

Number 2, safety.

You need to ensure you're safe, and your children are safe, especially if there has been any

domestic violence in your relationship.

So if there has been domestic violence or if you feel there is risk of some domestic

violence, I recommend that you speak to the people at your local shelter, and they can

help you develop an emergency plan so that you can extricate yourself in the event of

a risk of violence erupting in your family.

Number 3, joint accounts.

Some people come to us and they say they have got joint bank accounts, joint credit cards

and so on, and they're worried that their spouse is going to run up the credit after

separation.

Well, if that's the case, you can always freeze your credit cards and freeze the joint account

so that that doesn't happen.

Number 4 is start collecting documents.

Lawyers love paperwork.

We're going to need your last three years' of income tax returns.

We're going to need proof of your bank statements, mortgage statements, life insurance statements,

any other paperwork regarding your financial circumstances, both on the date of marriage

and the date of separation.

Start putting that together and bring it all in.

If it's not relevant, we'll send it back with you.

It's a good idea to start collecting that material right now.

Number 5, your children...

you have to start thinking about your children.

How much time they're going to spend with each parent.

How you're going to share the holidays and that sort of thing.

We always recommend that you work with a parenting coach or family coach who can help you develop

the best parenting plan for you and your family.

We always recommend that you not tell the children about the separation until you have

that plan together so that your children will know when they're going to see each parent

and how that's going to work.

Then, some of the messages that you want to convey to your children is that well...

it's okay for them love both parents.

Both parents love them deeply and they're going to have a meaningful relationship with

both parents.

They're going to see each parent on a regular basis.

A family coach can also help you with a more detailed approach to making sure that your

children have the least amount of impact by the separation, so we will give you names

of family coaches when you come in.

The children are probably the most important issue of any divorce.

The least important, household contents.

As well, you need to start thinking of about what items of the house you want and why.

Make a list and put a couple of notes down beside each item as to why it's important

that you receive those items and think about the items that you're willing to give up to

your spouse.

There's a lot of compromise in any separation, so start thinking about what are your priorities

and what you want to give up.

Number 7, don't fight.

Don't seek revenge.

One of the worst things that can happen is criminal charges can be laid in a... after

a separation or through the divorce process.

It really can be detrimental to the whole family.

If tension is rising, extricate yourself from the situation, especially don't get into a

fight or argument in front of your children.

That can be very detrimental to your children's long term emotional mental health.

Number 8, seek employment.

If you're able to and it becomes economically self sufficient, you have an obligation to

do so.

Start developing a plan of how you're going to become financially secure and independent

from your spouse.

If you're already the breadwinner, well that's easy.

You're going to just continue to do what you've been doing so well.

If you had been economically dependent on your spouse, you need to start thinking am

I able to go back to school, should I start a business, should I look for employment?

What can I do?

We'll help you come up with a plan when you meet with one of our lawyers.

Number 9, educate yourself.

There are a lot of decisions to be made during a separation or divorce, so one of the best

things you can do is start to prepare for making those decisions.

Our website is www.galbraithfamilylaw.com.

We have dozens of really great articles about family law that are worthwhile reading and

studying and understanding, because then when you meet with one of our lawyers, you will

have a better understanding of the choices you have to make.

Lastly, number 10, book a consultation with one of our lawyers.

All we do is family law.

We do it everyday, so we can help you.

When you come to that consultation, bring with you the questions that you have and our

lawyers will help you understand your legal rights and obligations, but also understand

your choices and how you can get a resolution in a timely manner and a cost effective manner

and get a resolution so that it brings peace to your family so you can get on with life.

All we do is family law so we know what we're doing.

If this video has been helpful, give it a thumbs up or like it and share it with a friend.

Do contact us at: www.galbraithfamilylaw for a consultation so we can help you as you begin

your journey towards separation and divorce and a new life and new beginnings.