Black Jeopardy with Tom Hanks - SNL - YouTube

>>> THIS IS "BLACK JEOPARDY." >> WHAT UP?

WHAT UP, WHAT UP, WHAT UP? WELCOME TO "BLACK JEOPARDY," THE

ONLY TV GAME SHOW WHERE THE AUDIENCE IS IN CHURCH CLOTHES.

I'M YOUR HOST DARNELL HAYES. OUR CONTESTANTS TODAY ARE KEELY.

>> HEY. >> SHANIECE.

>> OKAY, NOW. >> AND DOUG.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> HOW ARE YOU DOING, SIR?

>> OH, MAN. DOUG, YOU SURE YOU READY TO PLAY

"BLACK JEOPARDY"? >> THEY TOLD ME A FELLA COULD

WIN SOME MONEY, SO LET'S WIN ME SOME MONEY, GIT HER DONE.

>> I ADMIRE YOUR CONFIDENCE. LET'S SEE OUR CATEGORIES.

WE GOT "BIG GIRLS." [ LAUGHTER ]

"HMM, I DON'T KNOW." "YOU BETTER."

"I'M GONNA PRAY ON THIS." "THEY OUT HERE SAYING."

AND AS ALWAYS, "WHITE PEOPLE." [ LAUGHTER ]

KEELY, YOU ARE OUR RETURNING CHAMP, YOU PICK.

>> OKAY, LET'S DO "YOU BETTER" FOR $200.

>> OKAY, THE ANSWER THERE, "YOU NEED HOT SAUCE, DUCK SAUCE, SOY

SAUCE, AND SAFETY PINS." KEELLY.

>> WHAT IS YOU BETTER TAKE YOUR ASS TO THE KITCHEN AND LOOK IN

THE PACKET DRAWER. >> YEAH.

YEAH, THE PACKET DRAWER, YEAH. YEAH, EVERY KITCHEN HAS GOT ONE.

>> OKAY, LET'S STAY WITH "YOU BETTER" FOR $400.

>> OKAY, THE ANSWER, "YOUR JOB WANTS TO TAKE $40 OUT OF YOUR

CHECK FOR A 401(k)." SHANIECE?

>> WHAT IS, YOU BETTER GIVE ME THAT MONEY SO I CAN GET ME SOME

SCRATCH-OFFS? >> YOU DAMN RIGHT.

I MEAN, WHY I NEED A RETIREMENT PLAN WHEN I GOT MONOPOLY

MILLIONAIRES CLUB. >> I PLAY THAT EVERY WEEK.

>> THAT'S GOOD FOR YOU. OKAY.

THE BOARD IS YOURS, SHANIECE. >> LET'S GO WITH "THEY OUT THERE

SAYING" FOR $200. >> OKAY, THEY OUT HERE SAYING

THE NEW iPHONE WANTS YOUR THUMB PRINT FOR YOUR PROTECTION.

OH, OKAY, THEN, DOUG. >> WHAT IS, I DON'T THINK SO,

THAT'S HOW THEY GET YOU. >> YES, THAT'S IT.

[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] THAT'S IT!

>> I DON'T TRUST THAT. >> ME EITHER.

>> NO, I READ THAT GOES STRAIGHT TO THE GOVERNMENT.

>> WELL, THAT'S NOT BAD, DOUG. [ LAUGHTER ]

THE BOARD IS YOURS. >> LET'S GO OVER TO "I DON'T

KNOW," FOR $400. >> OKAY, THE ANSWER, HE SAYS HIS

DOG DOESN'T BITE. SHANIECE.

>> WHAT IS, HM, I DON'T KNOW, HE GOT TEETH, DON'T HE?

>> YEAH, THAT'S IT. ANYTHING.

[ LAUGHTER ] ANYTHING WITH TEET.

>> LET'S STICK WITH "HM, I DON'T KNOW," FOR $600.

>> OKAY. CAITLYN JENNER SAYS SHE BELONGS

ON THE COVER OF "ESSENCE" MAGAZINE.

KEELY. >> WHAT IS, HMM, I DON'T KNOW,

YOU CAN'T DO EVERYTHING. >> YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

THERE WAS A TIME. >> ABSOLUTELY.

>> REMEMBER, THERE WAS A TIME. >> OH, YEAH, I REMEMBER, YEAH,

>> OKAY. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> OKAY. LET'S GO TO "THEY OUT HERE

SAYING" FOR $800. >> ALL RIGHT, THE ANSWER, THEY

OUT HERE SAYING THAT EVERY VOTE COUNTS.

OH, DOUG AGAIN. >> WHAT IS, COME ON, THEY

ALREADY DECIDED WHO WINS EVEN BEFORE IT HAPPENS.

>> YES, YES! [ LAUGHTER ]

THE ILLUMINATI FIGURED THAT OUT MONTHS AGO.

THAT'S ANOTHER ONE FOR DOUG. >> OKAY, WE'RE DOING IT.

LET'S TRY, "THEY OUT HERE SAYING" FOR $600.

>> OKAY. THEY OUT HERE SAYING, THIS MOVIE

DOESN'T DESERVE AN OSCAR. KEELY.

>> WHAT IS "TYLER PERRY'S BOO! A MADEA HALLOWEEN."

>> ABSOLUTELY. ABSOLUTELY, YOU KNOW.

WHEN THAT MAN PUTS ON THAT MUMU I'M JUST TRANSPORTED.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU KNOW, I GOT TO TELL YOU,

I LOVE THOSE MOVIES. I BOUGHT A BOX SET AT WALMART,

AND IF I CAN LAUGH AND PRAY IN 90 MINUTES, THAT IS MONEY WELL

SPENT. >> WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I LIKE YOU SAYING THAT. NO, NO -- IT'S ALL GOOD.

IT'S ALL GOOD. IT'S ALL GOOD.

IT'S ALL GOOD. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> OKAY. KEELY.

IT'S YOUR PICK. >>LET'S GO TO "YOU BETTER" FOR

$600. >> OKAY, THE ANSWER, THE

MECHANIC SAYS YOU OWE $250 FOR NEW BRAKE LINES.

DOUG. >> WHAT IS, YOU BETTER GO TO THE

DUDE IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD THAT WILL FIX THINKING FOR $40.

>> OH, YOU KNOW CECIL? >> YEAH, YEAH.

MY CECIL'S NAME IS JIM AND HE FIXED MY REFRIGERATOR, MY AIR

CONDITIONER AND MY CAT. >> YEAH, EVERYBODY'S GOT A GUY.

YOU ALL RIGHT, DOUG. [ LAUGHTER ]

LET'S TAKE A MOMENT AND HEAR ABOUT TODAY'S PRIZES.

JOHNNY? >> THANKS, DARNELL.

TODAY'S "BLACK JEOPARDY" WINNER WILL RECEIVE THE GOOD CHAIR.

GRANDDADDY NEEDS SOMEWHERE TO SIT.

GIVE HIM THE GOOD CHAIR. AND CAR TAPE.

THE BEST TAPE FOR FIXING YOUR CAR.

CAR TAPE. BACK TO YOU, DARNELL.

>> DOUG, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON BUT THE BOARD IS YOURS.

>> WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH, DARNELL.

YOU PEOPLE ARE FUN. CAN I SAY THAT?

THAT OKAY? CAN I SAY THAT?

>> WE'LL GIVE YOU A PASS THIS TIME.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY, LET'S GO TO "BIG GIRLS"

FOR $200. >> OKAY.

THE ANSWER THERE, SKINNY WOMEN CAN DO THIS FOR YOU.

DOUG? >> WHAT IS, NOT A DAMN THING.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT.

YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT. >> YES!

>> MY WIFE -- MY WIFE'S A STURDY WOMAN.

>> THAT IS MY MAN RIGHT THERE. >> OKAY.

>> GO DOUG, GO DOUG, GO DOUG -- [ KNOCKING ]

>> OH, THE SOUND OF THE BROOM HITTING THE CEILING BELOW US

MEANS THE PARTY HAS TO STOP. DOUG.

I GOT TO SAY, IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE.

>> WELL, THAT IS RIGHT BACK AT YOU, MY BROTHER.

>> ALL RIGHT, WELL, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT OUR "FINAL JEOPARDY"

CATEGORY. "LIVES THAT MATTER."

[ AUDIENCE OOHS ] [ LAUGHTER ]

WELL, IT WAS GOOD WHILE IT LASTED, DOUG.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU KNOW, I'VE ACTUALLY GOT A

LOT TO SAY ABOUT THIS -- >> YEAH I'M SURE YOU DO.

WHEN WE COME BACK, WE GONNA PLAY THE NATIONAL ANTHEM JUST TO SEE

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENS. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]