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6 Reasons Why You Should NEVER Lend Money. - YouTube
Channel: Ann Wilson | The Wealth Chef
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lending to friends of family good bad
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I'm really clear on this and I'm so glad
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that this is one of my solid money rules
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now in my life because I learnt the hard
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way whatever you do avoid lending money
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to friends and family and I'm talking
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about that kind of lending where
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somebody comes to you and says hey you
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know can you just lend me a little bit
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of money have just not getting my hair
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I've got this business idea can I do
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that or you know I've got myself into
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that I just need to cover it up I'll
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repay you when I get my my next paycheck
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maybe it's your kids that keep borrowing
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from you and I've told my adult kids
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we've all had situation where there's
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something in our life it always seems to
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want to borrow some money so that's the
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kind of borrowing that I'm talking about
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I'll talk about other kind of borrowing
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and where you might consider lending so
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first rule is just don't do it
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find another way to help if you FA
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really are but you know my rule now is I
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do not lend money to friends and family
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full-stop
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because understand this as soon as you
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lend money and somebody borrows from you
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you have changed the entire dynamic of
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that relationship irrespective of how
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you might think you can be unattached
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and disconnected the energetic real
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entanglement in that relationship has
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completely shifted it just has so
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somebody is truly in a difficult
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position if somebody truly is in an edge
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whether if you don't give them some
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money and they don't access this and you
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are their only option they might really
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end up in a devastating financial hole
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then rather consider giving a gift if
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you are able to spare that money give
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truly contributing with no hooks nothing
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back is what real help is about so if
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that's a situation a new feeling pulled
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to give and to lend people consider it
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as a gift don't expect it back that is a
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Hugh
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big difference and when if you truly
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consider that you'll go well does this
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person really need it or not and in what
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circumstances and give it as a gift with
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no hooks if you truly want to help out
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then if you are going to lend money and
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maybe it is for a startup business or
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something that you really believe in
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understand the fundamentals the same
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principle should be if you were going to
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invest in another business or some
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startup venture what are the parameters
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you want to know make sure you get an
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agreement in place have that in writing
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what are the terms of that loan is there
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interest going to be charged over what
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period of time and what is that
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repayment and stick with it don't betray
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yourself by entering into agreement and
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then not being prepared to enforce it
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super super important that you then make
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that clean because it's also about
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respecting both of you and expecting the
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relationship so you can have this loan
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agreement as a completely separate
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entity from some sort of loose booing
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and entanglement between each other next
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if you've been drawn to consider lending
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money to your care your adult kids your
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friend or somebody else really ask
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yourself this question and I doing this
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because I want to be liked am i doing
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this because I've got some I want to be
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seen as the hero of the risk you're the
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helper out now it could be really
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difficult to ask these questions truly
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honestly because it's some never all of
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us have some codependency issues where
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some of our self-worth can come from
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other people liking us not upsetting
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people we're afraid of them rejecting us
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or there might be a conflict or they'll
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be angry and so we're our own worthiness
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can be into woven with somebody else's
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response and if you notice in a pattern
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that you lend money to either a piece
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some sort of guilt you have about having
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money or believing that that makes you a
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nice person notice that maybe just maybe
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that your action
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and you're needing to be liked or avoid
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conflict or be loved or seen as generous
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is actually disempowering the other
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person from learning how to actually
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have a card money skill so they don't
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need to go around borrowing from people
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that your need is actually keeping them
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dependent on you and that could be a
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real hard self inquiry look but you're
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not here to just exist you here to live
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a wealthy healthy life and truly being
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able to dive in and look at your
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relationship with money and worthiness
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is one of the key aspects and then if
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you truly truly want to help person who
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bitterly is borrowing money and you see
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this pattern instead of giving them
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money teach them money skills give them
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a copy of the well chef's book tell them
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to watch some blogs sit down and see and
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tell them to show you what are they
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doing with their money rather give them
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skills that they can transform their
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relationship with money for life instead
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of one of quicks of appeasement that you
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might feel you know that that good old
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saying you know teach a person to fish
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run and give them that fish is
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absolutely applicable here so hopefully
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that's given you some insight setting in
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to my beliefs around lending and
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borrowing from friends and family
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preferably don't even go there rather
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have empowered money conversations and
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let's teach each other how to be
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healthier with money through money
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literacy rather than money codependency
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in relationships so I'm Ann Wilson and
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if you watch this anywhere then over at
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the well chef calm head on over there
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and I'd love to know if you're brave
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enough and I know you are in the
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comments below where perhaps you have
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lent money or borrowed in the past and
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if there's been some kind of funky
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codependency thing going on when you
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look at it in hindsight and maybe shares
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us a bit but what's gone on and what
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you've learned from it as a result so
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remember creating a great relationship
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with money is how you get money working
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for you serving you so you can get on
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and live your great
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most empowered life keep taking it step
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by step and remember to have loads of
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fun
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