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What is the Sandwich Generation || Caring For Aging Parents || Why We Live with My Parents - YouTube
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Wait! You thought we moved in with my
parents to pay off debt? Well, you would
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be wrong because the reason we came here
initially had nothing to do with debt at
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all! That was actually just an added
bonus. So today I'm gonna go over the
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whole story of why we moved in with my
parents and why we are still here three
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years later and what it means to be part
of the Sandwich Generation. And if you
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don't know what the Sandwich Generation
means, don't worry I'm gonna explain it. I
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really should get some wine for this
video. That would make it a lot easier.
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Hey guys! It's Wendy Valencia. My husband
Mauricio and I and our daughter, our
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seven year old, have been living at my
parent's house for the last three years.
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And on a recent video She's On Top, whose
channel I love!!! I'm gonna link 'em down
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in the description box.
I love how like pro female and promoting
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other businesses and everything they are
you should really check him out. Very
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very high end channel. Phenomenal videos. They recently posted the following
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questions on one of my videos we would
love to hear more about your decision to
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move in with your parents how did you do
it how did you approach them how was it
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for Mauricio so today I'm going to talk
about it and I'm gonna give you all the
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details the good the bad the ugly not
the really ugly you don't need to know
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about that it all started back in Mexico
I was stationed down in Mexico I was
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working as a diplomat at the u.s.
embassy down there and I had been there
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for multiple years with Mauricio and
Mauricio was also working as a diplomat
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at the Embassy there in Mexico City and
Maurizio's sister and her husband were
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actually living with us they had come up
from Colombia and we were paying
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Mauricio sister to actually be our nanny
because we were gone so much during the
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day that Molina was just a little baby
so they moved in with us up there so
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while I was there I actually got
medically curtailed out of Mexico City
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y'all know
have dystonia um if you don't know what
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it is it's really painful really
horrible my neck is paralyzed from here
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all the way to here it's it's a whole
big long thing that they couldn't handle
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in Mexico and so I tried to stay as long
as I could but I ended up having to
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leave and so I had a medically curtail
out and it was a very rapid transition
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that we were not planning and I didn't
get to pick where I went I gave a list
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of places I was willing to go but but I
end up getting told I was going to come
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to Washington DC so I got my
notification of where I was going and I
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had 90 days to get there so I knew we
were coming to Washington DC but
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Mauricio was actually in the process for
a good government job a really good one
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and it was something he really wanted to
do because that's what he knew it was in
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law enforcement and he was very excited
about getting this job and we figured
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when he got that job offer based on the
the place he applied we would probably
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get sent to Texas so when he got the job
offer I was gonna have to transfer to
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Texas so I told my parents hey we're
coming up to DC I don't expect us to be
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there more than like five or six months
can we stay at your house for a little
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while until we figure out what's
happening and then you know if we have
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to move to Texas then we will move and
just go straight from your house down to
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Texas and they were totally okay with
that my parents are always very
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amazingly accommodating and helpful
because you know I got my generosity
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from somewhere it is definitely for my
parents my parents are like the most
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generous people in the world so my
parents were actually a static that we
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were coming because because we had been
living in Mexico they hadn't gotten to
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see Melina very much we left the United
States when Melina was 2 months old and
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so they had hardly seen Melina over the
next four years and so they were super
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super excited that they were gonna see
Melina every day for multiple months so
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yeah they were they were very happy and
they were super happy
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you even get to know Mauricio better
because truthfully my parents like
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Mauricio better than they like me I know
it I'm okay with it
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I've come to accept it over the years
he's just a more fun person so we got
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here and we didn't hear anything about
Mauricio job and we didn't hear anything
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and so we just kept waiting and waiting
the time got longer and eventually he
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got notified that he was no longer in
the process and it was truly
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heartbreaking I actually did a video
right after we discovered it was
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life-changing for Mauricio and it was
crushing it was crushing it took him
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almost a full year to get over this it
was like a death in the family it was
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awful and so we reeled from that for a
while and we were we did not even really
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discuss getting out on our own while we
had been waiting we had discussed that
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if he got stationed up here then we
would go ahead and move out as quickly
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as possible but once once that happened
we didn't really discuss it again and
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then about a month later my father got
extremely ill my daughter had pneumonia
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and then she gave the pneumonia to my
father and it became very
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life-threatening very life-threatening
it's kind of a miracle that he made
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through it it was really rough for a
long time and so when Mauricio and I had
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recovered from the loss of the job we
were then taking care of my father and
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helping my mother take care of my father
and my mother was gradually starting to
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decline physically and so she couldn't
help as much so we were pretty much at
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that point for about the next year we
did everything - from cooking cleaning
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you name it we did everything and we
helped take care of my dad and it was it
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was a long year and in time Mauricio did
get the contractor's job and
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this is where we get into the Sandwich
Generation of that and if you don't know
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what the Sandwich Generation is it's the
generation in the middle of the sandwich
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that would be my generation who is
helping take care of their parents and
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helping take care of the kids so my
parents aren't so bad off that they
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can't do anything they certainly are
mobile and independent and everything
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but they need help they need assistance
once my dad was back on his feet my
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mother her health started to decline and
I don't want to go into too much detail
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about my mom and my dad because it
really isn't my story to tell it's their
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story and they've made it very clear
they don't want it to be on my channel
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hope they don't mind me doing it but
it's their lives and so I am NOT going
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to really discuss it in much more in
than these very vague terms so after all
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of this we realized that we could not
leave until their physical situation
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improved so we waited and we waited and
after a time my parents came to the
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conclusion that they did need to move
into a multi-level retirement facility
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and a multi-level retirement facility is
one that has everything from independent
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living all the way up to full nursing
care and oh my goodness when we went and
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started visiting these places some of
these places are amazing like I told my
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mom to forget it I wanted to move in
because they have like I start dining
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beautiful apartments luxury apartments
swimming pools the whole gamut things to
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do one place even had like a wine and
cheese happy hour every evening at 5:00
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I was like how do I get on board with
this but these places have a significant
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financial impact they require a huge
amount of money upfront and additionally
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they have a monthly payment and the
monthly payment gets higher and higher
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depending on the level of care you need
and I know many of you are gonna ask why
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can't they stay in this house and we
stay here and take care of them and that
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is an option but there are stairs in
this house and
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and based on current situations stairs
are difficult so years ago we actually
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told my parents that we wanted to buy
their house if they ever considered
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selling it because we love this
neighborhood the school district is
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phenomenal and it's just a fantastic
area but the houses are crazy expensive
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and this neighborhood is like the
cheapest of all the area so this
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neighborhoods the only one we could
really afford and it is next to
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impossible to get into this neighborhood
so they told us that we will they would
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either rent us or bought we would buy
their their house from them and right
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now we legitimate ly don't know which
direction that's gonna go because a lot
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of it is going to depend on how much
they need to put down in the place that
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they're moving and they won't know that
until the floorplan becomes available
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because there's all different levels of
floor plans and the price ranges like
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hundreds and hundreds of thousands of
dollars so for the the payment down so
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if they get one particular they might be
able to do it without selling the house
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if they pick another one they might need
to sell the house so we don't know if
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we're gonna be buying or renting their
house we've agreed that we're gonna go
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ahead and stay to help out for as long
as they need us until they get into this
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facility that they've chosen to go to
what does that mean for us financially
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well first we're still gonna pay off the
visa and the car next absolutely and
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then I think probably what we're gonna
do is we're gonna save up maybe about
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twenty thousand dollars and it's gonna
be maybe thirty I'm not really sure we
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got to run the numbers but if we buy the
house we're gonna have to pay closing
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costs if we rent we will have to do any
and all repairs that's kind of the
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agreement that we have with my parents
because ultimately the house will be
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ours someday we would have to pay for
the repairs so we will need to have a
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significant pile of money for major
repairs so after we have saved up
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whatever amount of money we've decided
we're gonna save up then we will tackle
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any other debts that we have left oh I
realize that'll problem
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we freaked a lot of you out that we are
actually considering and buying a house
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while we are on a debt free journey but
there are so many moving parts to this
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situation and the numbers actually
hugely work in our favor
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so it would be insane financially for us
not to buy this house if everything goes
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according to plan so I'll see you in the
next one
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see ya we're out
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