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Elon Musk Buys Twitter for $44 Billion, Trump Forgets Name of His Social Media App | Tonight Show - YouTube
Channel: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
[1]
Welcome, welcome to
"The Tonight Show."
[2]
You're here. You made it.
Thank you for watching at home.
[4]
[ Cheers and applause ]
I appreciate it.
[7]
Well, guys,
everyone's talking about this.
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Today, Elon Musk bought Twitter
for $44 billion.
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Yep, he now owns
SpaceX and Twitter.
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It's like Musk is thinking,
"I've seen the heavens.
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Now on to hell."
[24]
Twitter's an odd thing to buy.
[26]
You know, it's like buying
YouTube and saying,
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"Forget the videos.
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I'm just here for
the mean comments."
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That's right -- the richest man
in the world bought Twitter.
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Right now,
Bernie Sanders is so mad,
[35]
he just turned into the Hulk.
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Yeah, Musk has said
that he's pro-free speech,
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so a lot of people
think that he'll let
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former president
Trump back on the platform.
[47]
Yeah, not exactly what we meant
[48]
when we asked for a return
to pre-pandemic vibes.
[50]
But when it heard, the caps-lock
key on Trump's phone was like,
[56]
"I'm back, baby!"
[58]
But listen to this.
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Today, Trump told Fox News that
he will not return to Twitter
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and will instead join
his own platform, Truth Social.
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Wait. So not even Trump
is on Truth Social yet?
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That is -- It's his app.
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He's not on his own app?
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If you're keeping track,
Twitter and Truth Social
[77]
are like the Four Seasons and
Four Seasons Total Landscaping.
[84]
That's right -- Trump's not
giving up on Truth Social,
[86]
but at a rally this weekend,
he somehow managed
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to mess up the name of
his own platform.
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Take a look at this.
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-Because of
this digital tyranny,
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we had to give the
American people their voice back
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by building something called
Troth -- Truth Sential.
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Truth Social.
[104]
[ Laughter, cymbal crash ]
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[ As Trump ] Tough Socials.
[112]
Trout Chapel.
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"Thor: Ragnarok."
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Sadly, even Trout Central has
more users than Truth Social.
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It's interesting.
[124]
Let's switch gears.
[125]
Over the past couple weeks,
there's been
[126]
a rise in COVID cases,
and The White House
[128]
is calling for
caution but not overreacting.
[132]
Even the CDC was like,
"What the hell does that mean?"
[136]
You know it's really bad when
[137]
Elon Musk tries to buy
Clorox Wipes.
[141]
Some more news from
The White House.
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Today, the Tampa Bay Lightning
visited President Biden
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to celebrate their last
two Stanley Cup championships.
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Yep. Sure.
[ Cheers and applause ]
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That's good.
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Biden said he's not a
big Lightning fan,
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but his childhood friend
Ben Franklin is.
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Yeah, and...
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Well, hey, get this.
[165]
Chippendales has
hired a lobbyist
[166]
to help them get
federal COVID aid.
[169]
Yeah, they'll receive
their money,
[172]
but they're just going to
get it like this.
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♪♪
[178]
Some more business news.
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I read that the owners of
JCPenney have offered
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to buy Kohl's for $8.6 billion.
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Meanwhile, Best Buy is
calling up RadioShack like,
[188]
"You up?"
[191]
And, finally,
a hiker in Washington
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had to call the fire department
to rescue her
[195]
after she dropped her phone in
an outhouse toilet
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and got stuck headfirst
trying to get it out.
[204]
It's actually hard
for her to get in touch
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with the fire department because
she had such crappy service.
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And...
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Firefighters were like,
"There's no fire,
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but you'd better
bring the hose."
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Guys, I know a lot of
people find math boring.
[217]
Well, that's why
we've updated math
[219]
to make equations be about
stuff that you can relate to.
[221]
It's time for
"Popular Mathematics."
[223]
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
[226]
-♪ Popular ♪
[227]
♪ Mathematics ♪
[229]
♪ Mathematics ♪
[231]
-Let's take a look at
our first equation here.
[233]
If you take a check mark
plus a dad bod,
[237]
it equals the Nike logo.
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See what I'm saying?
[ Cheers and applause ]
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So, then if you take a
streaming service
[248]
plus the movie
"Gone in 60 Seconds,"
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it equals CNN+.
[255]
It makes you like math again.
[258]
Here's another one.
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Mexican culture
plus Italian culture
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plus a middle finger
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equals Taco Bell's
Mexican pizza.
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I'm still going to try it.
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I'm still going to try it and
I'll probably like it.
[273]
If you take an old-school camera
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plus shooting
the whole roll of film
[277]
plus forgetting to take off
the lens cap,
[280]
it equals Kodak Black.
[283]
You understand?
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And, finally,
if you take positive vibes
[290]
plus positive COVID test,
it equals Coachella.
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There you go.
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That's all the time we have for
"Popular Mathematics."
[296]
We have a great show.
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