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The Misery Index: Joe Is the New Jameela (Season 2 Episode 12 Clip) | TBS - YouTube
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[0]
鈾櫔
[4]
Sorry, I just can't
take my eyes off you.
[6]
Isn't it crazy?
It's like we're looking at --
[8]
It's a mirror.
You are a mirror.
[9]
Do you wonder
what it's like to be --
[10]
'Cause I'm wondering what
it's like to be up there.
[12]
Aren't you wondering
what it's like to be over here?
[13]
Because it's like
looking in a mirror.
[15]
Yeah.
You know what?
Why don't you play?
[16]
You guys want Jameela
to play over here? I'll host.
[18]
-No, really?
-Let's go.
[20]
-Can you do that?
-Let's go.
[23]
Whoa, get over here.
Really? Really?
[26]
[ High-pitched British accent ]
Welcome back
[28]
to "The Misery Index,"
the game where you can
[29]
make a fortune out of
other people's misfortune.
[32]
I'm Joe-meela Jamil.
[34]
Now in this round I'll show you
both the same event,
[36]
and you have to guess where
it lands on The Misery Index.
[38]
Get it right
and Bob's your Uncle,
[39]
you get 2,000
American dollars.
[43]
Whoever wins moves
on to the chance
[45]
to win 30,000
American dollars.
[49]
[ Normal voice ] Jameela, how do
you feel being in my spot?
[51]
I feel good.
[53]
I also really sympathize
with you guys.
[55]
This is terrifying.
[57]
[ High-pitched British accent ]
Okay. Let's get into the game.
[60]
Please, everyone direct your
attention to the Traumatron,
[62]
where my old chum Q received the
worst kind of tickle torture.
[67]
Q is definitely
afraid of spiders.
[69]
Q should have never
told us he's
[71]
deathly afraid of spiders.
-Oh! This is horrible.
[72]
Alright, bud, the rules
of the game are simple --
[74]
we're gonna put a spider on you
and then every time you move
[77]
we're gonna put
another spider on you.
[79]
Here we go.
[80]
No, no. Oh, my God.
[83]
-Oh, my God!
-That's the size of a kitten.
[86]
Please stop, please stop,
please stop.
[88]
Oh, I feel it
crawling on me.
[90]
Aah!
-Here comes his friend.
[93]
Murr: Aah!
[ Chuckles nervously ]
[95]
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
[98]
-God, get them off me.
-Oh, my God!
[102]
-Oh, my God!
-Oh, you moved your head again,
[104]
buddy,
what are you doing?
[105]
Oh!
-Oh, my God!
[107]
You have no idea
what this looks like.
[110]
-Oh!
-Ooh.
[112]
Yep.
[114]
Fun? Fun, Q?
[115]
No, not fun at all.
I'm deathly afraid of spiders.
[118]
When it was done, the crew took
me out for drinks afterwards.
[120]
It was horrible.
[122]
So, you're tortured
with spiders
[124]
is absolutely cray?
[125]
Sal, didn't we do
that same exact thing
[128]
with you and kittens?
[129]
-Yes, you did.
-Yup.
[130]
-And you can step on a spider.
-What kind of
[132]
cold, dead bastard
doesn't like kittens?
[136]
I'm sorry,
you're in my team now.
[138]
Oh, yeah, no, no, no.
Sorry. Sorry. yeah.
[139]
-The first thing you say is...
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[141]
...I'm a [British accent]
cold, dead bastard.
[143]
Yeah, bastard.
[145]
[ Chuckles ]
To Hell with kittens! Yuck!
[148]
Remember your three pillars.
[151]
How about --
What are they, Joe?
[152]
Yeah. [ Laughs ]
They are physical pain.
[154]
What was the second one?
Emotional, emotional --
[158]
[ Normal voice ]
They gave me the wrong ones.
[160]
You can take the boy
out of Long Island,
[161]
but you can't take
Long Island out of the boy.
[163]
Emotional trauma...
[164]
[ Audience oohs, laughter ]
[167]
[ High-pitched British accent ]
It's physical pain,
[169]
emotional trauma and long-term
psychological impact.
[172]
[ Cheers and applause ]
[176]
[ Indistinct ]
[177]
[ Laughter ]
[180]
Now, for
2,000 American dollars,
[182]
talk it through and lock
in where you think
[185]
you're tortured with spiders
[186]
lands on The Misery Index,
[188]
while I enjoy
a spot of tea.
[191]
[ Laughs ]
Oh, my God!
[192]
[ Cheers and applause ]
[194]
Hey, how come
I never get that?
[198]
Lock it in, get to playing.
[202]
Even if
you don't have a phobia,
[203]
I think you're still scared.
[205]
The word "torture"
is in the title.
[207]
Well, it has to be above 50.
I think it's above 60.
[209]
-Okay.
-Okay, we have to lock it in,
[210]
everyone.
-You think it's there?
[212]
-Lock it up.
-We're locked, we're locked.
[214]
We are locked. I think
you got it. You did great.
[216]
Jolly good,
everyone is locked in,
[218]
so let's see who wins
and who can bugger off.
[222]
We got it. We got it.
[223]
Krystal, you said 39.
[226]
-We did.
-We did, we --
[227]
-Yes, we did.
-Oh my God.
[228]
And, Lily, you said...
[231]
-Oh!
-...69.
[233]
Whoa! You guys are obsessed
with 69 over there.
[236]
You guys
got to let it go.
[237]
Quite a difference
in opinions.
[239]
Yes.
Okay, let's see
what our shrinks said.
[243]
Sal:
Let's go! 54 and up, baby!
[247]
Come on! Come on!
[248]
[ Cheers and applause ]
[252]
Krystal wins, which means
we have to say ta-ta to Lily,
[255]
but Krystal is moving on where
she'll be playing for $30,000,
[260]
right after this.
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