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Double Hack: Bitcoin Bandits Take Over Twitter While Russia Spies On Covid Vaccine Researchers - YouTube
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[4]
>> Stephen: DID HE DO THAT?
[6]
DID THE DOG EAT YOUR SHOES?
[8]
>> YEAH, YOU KNEW THAT.
[9]
>> Stephen: I THOUGHT IT WAS A
DIFFERENT PAIRT THAT HE ATE.
[13]
WELL, THOSE LOOK -- I'D CHEW
THOSE.
[16]
( LAUGHTER )
WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."
[18]
I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT.
[19]
IF YOU HAVEN'T CHECKED THE
SPORTS PAGES TODAY, CORONAVIRUS
[21]
IS STILL WINNING.
[22]
THE UNITED STATES REPORTED A
SINGLE HIGHEST SINGLE DAY OF
[27]
CASES TODAY JUST BEHIND THE
RECORD SET THE DAY BEFORE.
[30]
I LOOKED IT UP IN THE I NEED A
"GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD
[34]
RECORDS."
[35]
IN ALL THESE CASES, GOVERNORS
AND MAYORS ARE SCRAMBLING NEW
[44]
MASK ORDERS.
[47]
THAT SEEMS A LITTLE LATE.
[48]
IT'S LIKE DECIDING NOT TO SEND A
MOTHERS' DAY CARD, THEN GOING,
[49]
WHAT THE HELL, HAPPY FOURTH OF
JULY, MOM.
[50]
I WASN'T WEARING A MASK WHEN I
SIGNED THIS.
[53]
PLEASE WASH YOUR HANDS.
[54]
ONE OF THE MASKY-COME-LATELIES
IS ALABAMA GOVERNOR AND LADY AT
[55]
THE BAKE SALE WHO JUST LIED
ABOUT THE BROWNIES BEING GLUTEN
[56]
FREE, KAY IVEY.
[62]
IVEY HAS BEEN HOLDING OUT ON
MASKS, BUT ALABAMA JUST HIT
[63]
THEIR SINGLE-DAY DEATH RECORD,
SO YESTERDAY IVEY ISSUED A
[67]
STATEWIDE MASK ORDER.
[70]
TO MAKE THE ORDER MORE PALATABLE
TO ALABAMA VOTERS, THE MASKS
[72]
WILL BE DEEP-FRIED.
[75]
ONE ELECTED OFFICIAL WHO'S NOT
GIVING IN TO THE HEALTH HUGGERS
[79]
IS GEORGIA GOVERNOR AND FACE
BORN FOR A MASK, BRIAN KEMP.
[83]
YESTERDAY, KEMP EXPLICITLY
BANNED LOCALITIES FROM ORDERING
[85]
PEOPLE TO WEAR MASKS.
[87]
SO NOT ONLY IS HE DOING NOTHING,
HE'S STOPPING OTHER PEOPLE FROM
[91]
DOING ANYTHING.
[94]
AND TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE, HE
JUST LAUNCHED A NEW GEORGIA
[98]
PUBLIC HEALTH CAMPAIGN, LICK THE
ELDERLY, IT'S THE LAW.
[108]
TO EMPHASIZE HOW ANTI-MASK KEMP
REALLY IS, WHEN DONALD TRUMP
[110]
LANDED IN ATLANTA YESTERDAY,
KEMP GREETED HIM AT THE AIRPORT
[111]
WITH A MASK DANGLING FROM HIS
EAR.
[112]
LOOK, EITHER WEAR THE DAMN THING
OR DON'T.
[115]
THAT'S LIKE SURVEYING A NUCLEAR
ACCIDENT WITH YOUR HAZMAT SUIT
[116]
TIED AROUND YOUR SHOULDERS.
[119]
AND THERE'S MORE TROUBLING
PANDEMIC NEWS.
[124]
YESTERDAY, WE LEARNED RUSSIAN
HACKERS HAVE LAUNCHED
[127]
CYBERATTACKS ON COVID-19
RESEARCH CENTERS.
[129]
SO THE RUSSIANS ARE GETTING
AMERICA'S CORONAVIRUS DATA?
[131]
COULD THEY SHARE IT WITH US?
[134]
AND IT'S NOT JUST ANY DATA,
SPECIFICALLY, THE RUSSIAN
[137]
HACKERS WERE ATTEMPTING TO STEAL
CORONAVIRUS VACCINE RESEARCH.
[143]
SO IF THEY'RE SUCCESSFUL, IT'S
ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE WE
[145]
START GETTING SPAM FOR A BOOTLEG
CORONAVIRUS CURE.
[147]
VERY MAKE HEALTH, SUPER IMPRESS,
LACK OF DYING PLUS TURGID MEMBER
[151]
ALL NIGHT DRIVE WOMEN GO
CRAZYNUTS WOW WOW WOW BUY NOW
[159]
THE ATTACK WAS PERPETRATED BY A
GROUP NAMED A.P.T.
[161]
29, ALSO KNOWN AS COZY BEAR.
[163]
OR THEIR NEW ALIAS, THE DUKES.
[164]
I KNEW WE COULDN'T TRUST THOSE
BOYS AND THEIR CONFEDERATE CAR
[170]
( REVVING ENGINE, BANJO MUSIC )
>> LOOKS LIKES THEM DUKE BOYS
[175]
DISRUPTIN' DEMOCRACY WITH
ROOTIN' TOOTIN' PUTIN
[179]
♪
♪
[181]
>> STEPHEN: THIS ISN'T THE FIRST
TIME THE DUKES AKA COZY BEAR
[186]
HAVE ATTACKED THE STATES
BECAUSE COZY BEAR WAS ONE OF THE
[190]
GROUPS ACCUSED OF BREAKING INTO
THE D.N.C. NETWORK AND STEALING
[195]
EMAILS AHEAD OF THE 2016
PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION.
[196]
SO DON'T BE SURPRISED ON
ELECTION NIGHT WHEN IT'S
[198]
ANNOUNCED THE NEXT PRESIDENT OF
THE UNITED STATES IS SENATOR
[203]
CORINNE A. VIRUS.
[204]
BUTFOR ONCE, RUSSIA IS THE
SECOND BIGGEST HACKING STORY OF
[211]
THE DAY BECAUSE, YESTERDAY,
MAJOR TWITTER ACCOUNTS WERE
[214]
HACKED IN A BITCOIN SCAM.
[215]
IF YOU'RE NOT FAMILIAR, A
BITCOIN SCAM IS ANYTHING
[217]
INVOLVING BITCOIN.
[218]
THE HACK TARGETED THE ACCOUNTS
OF PEOPLE LIKE BARACK OBAMA, JOE
[219]
BIDEN, MIKE BLOOMBERG, ELON
MUSK, AND KANYE WEST WITH S
[224]
-- WITH MESSAGES LIKE --
I'M GIVING BACK TO THE COMMUNITY
[230]
DUE TO COVID-19.
[231]
ALL BITCOIN SENT TO MY ADDRESS
BELOW WILL BE SENT BACK DOUBLED.
[235]
IF YOU SEND $1,000, I WILL SEND
BACK $2,000.
[238]
IF OBAMA AND BIDEN WERE
PROMISING FREE MONEY, IT WOULD
[240]
HAVE BEEN THE BIGGEST POLITICAL
SCAM SINCE EISENHOWER ROPED
[242]
CANADA INTO AMWAY.
[247]
TO PREVENT IT FROM SPREADING,
TWITTER SHUT DOWN ACCOUNTS FOR
[257]
HOURS.
[258]
I WAS ABLE TO KEEP TWEETING.
[262]
THE PROBLEM IS, TWITTER DIDN'T
JUST DISABLE CELEBRITY ACCOUNTS.
[269]
AS A RESULT,
WHEN THE NATIONAL WEATHER
[274]
SERVICE DECLARED A TORNADO WATCH
FOR PARTS OF SOUTHERN ILLINOIS,
[276]
THE AGENCY'S REGIONAL TWITTER
ACCOUNT FOUND ITSELF UNABLE TO
[277]
WARN RESIDENTS OF THE DANGER.
[278]
THAT'S WHY I FOLLOW ONLY
UN-VERIFIED TORNADO ACCOUNTS.
[283]
(
( DING )
[284]
).
[285]
A LITTLE LATE WITH THE SOUND.
[287]
I ALREADY ACTED LIKE I HEARD IT.
[290]
( LAUGHTER )
WOW, A HOUSE JUST FELL ON A
[290]
WITCH.
[291]
HER SISTER'S GOING TO BE PISSED.
[294]
( LAUGHTER )
GOT THAT REFERENCE.
[295]
>> I DID.
[296]
>> Stephen: YES, YOU DID.
[299]
WE STILL DON'T KNOW THE IDENTITY
OF THE HACKERS, BUT EXPERTS SAY
[301]
THAT THE FACT THAT THEY ATTACKED
NOW, INSTEAD OF WAITING UNTIL
[303]
CLOSER TO THE ELECTION, SUGGESTS
THAT THEY ARE CRIMINALS RATHER
[307]
THAN GOVERNMENT OPERATIVES.
[308]
WHAT?
[308]
THAT MAKES NO SENSE.
[311]
YOU DON'T JUST HACK AN ELECTION
WITHOUT DOING A TEST DRIVE.
[314]
IT'S LIKE FAST & FURIOUS MOVIES.
[316]
YOU DON'T LEAD WITH FLEEING A
SUBMARINE ACROSS A SIBERIAN ICE
[323]
FLOW, THAT'S CRAZY.
[325]
YOU GOTTA START SMALL WITH CARS,
WORK YOUR WAY UP TO A TOKYO
[327]
DRIFT, THEN YOU HAVE THE ROCK
REDIRECT A TORPEDO WITH HIS BARE
[328]
HANDS.
[329]
OTHERWISE, IT JUST SEEMS
FAR-FETCHED.
[335]
TWITTER C.E.O. JACK DORSEY
TOOK TO, WELL, TWITTER, TO
[337]
EXPRESS HIS DISCONTENT SAYING:
WE ALL FEEL TERRIBLE THIS
[339]
HAPPENED.
[341]
FUN FACT: WE ALL FEEL TERRIBLE
THIS HAPPENED IS TWITTER'S
[345]
OFFICIAL MOTTO.
[353]
( LAUGHTER )
, ARE YOU ENJOYING THIS?
[355]
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
[357]
THE COUNTRY IS IN CRISIS, BUT
THE WHITE HOUSE IS DOING
[358]
EVERYTHING THEY CAN TO STOP THE
CORONAVIRUS'S NATURAL ENEMY,
[361]
ANTHONY FAUCI.
[362]
TRUMP'S CRONIES HAVE ATTACKED
FAUCI IN THE PRESS, DUG UP
[365]
OPPOSITION RESEARCH ON HIM, AND
STOPPED MEETING WITH HIM AT THE
[367]
WHITE HOUSE.
[368]
BUT STILL, FAUCI'S MORE POPULAR
THAN EVER.
[371]
CASE IN POINT, HE IS THE COVER
MODEL OF INSTYLE MAGAZINE.
[385]
HUMINAH, HUMINAH!
[387]
I THINK WE FOUND THE LATEST
HOTSPOT DO THOSE SOCKS GO, ALL
[389]
THE WAY UP?
[390]
BUT PERHAPS THE MOST STYLISH
COMPONENT OF THE GOOD DOCTOR'S
[395]
OUTFIT IS THOSE SHADES.
[397]
HOLY C.S.I. MIAMI, BATMAN.
[399]
(AS DAVID CARUSO)
WILL WE HAVE A TREATMENT?
[403]
THAT REMAINS TO BE, VAC-SEEN.
[406]
♪
♪
[410]
I DON'T KNOW IF THIS VACCINE'S
GONNA WORK, BUT IT'S WORTH, A
[415]
SHOT.
[416]
♪
♪
[419]
I HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO THE
PRESIDENT IN MONTHS.
[424]
HE'S AVOIDING ME LIKE, THE
PLAGUE.
[427]
♪
♪
[433]
DOCTOR FAUCI APPEARING ON THE
COVER OF INSTYLE MAGAZINE IS AN
[435]
HISTORIC MOMENT FOR AMERICAN
MEDICINE.
[438]
IT'S ALMOST AS SIGNIFICANT AS
THAT SPORTS ILLUSTRATED SWIMSUIT
[441]
EDITION FEATURING LOUIS PASTEUR.
[443]
HEY, REMEMBER THE 2020
PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION?
[447]
IT'S STILL HAPPENING AND
ACCORDING TO A RECENT POLL,
[450]
BIDEN NOW HAS A 15 POINT
ADVANTAGE OVER TRUMP.
[453]
WOOHOO JOE, YOU'RE DOING GREAT,
BY DOING NOTHING STAY IN THE
[461]
BASEMENT.
[462]
SOMEONE TOSS A CRATE OF ENSURE
DOWN THE STEPS AND YANK THE KNOB
[464]
OFF THE DOOR.
[468]
RIGHT NOW, IT'S LESS A CASE OF
BIDEN BEATING TRUMP AND MORE A
[471]
CASE OF TRUMP BEATING TRUMP,
BECAUSE, ACCORDING TO ANOTHER
[473]
POLL, 72% SAY THE US IS ON THE
WRONG TRACK.
[476]
THAT'S A DEVASTATING NUMBER, BUT
WHO ARE THE 28% WHO LOOK AROUND
[480]
AND SAY, YEAH, THIS FEELS RIGHT
AMERICA IS PERFECT FOR ME, AN
[488]
AGORAPHOBIC GERMAPHOBE WITH A
FETISH FOR FACE COVERINGS.
[493]
NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'M
GONNA GO COLLECT MY URINE IN A
[494]
JAR.
[495]
EVEN THOUGH BIDEN IS LEADING
NOW, THE ELECTION IS STILL
[496]
ALMOST FOUR MONTHS AWAY.
[499]
A LOT CAN HAPPEN IN FOUR MONTHS.
[499]
YOU KNOW WHERE I WAS FOUR MONTHS
AGO?
[507]
WITH OTHER PEOPLE.
[511]
I HAD AN AUDIENCE.
[512]
I TOUCHED THEIR HANDS.
[512]
PROBABLY NOT A GREAT IDEA EVEN
THEN.
[514]
I WON'T FEEL CONFIDENT BIDEN HAS
WON THIS THING UNTIL HE'S GIVING
[516]
HIS FIRST STATE OF THE UNION.
[517]
AND EVEN THEN A PART OF ME WILL
BE THINKING, COMEY COULD STILL
[519]
( BLEEP ) THIS UP.
[521]
OF COURSE, TRUMP DOESN'T PUT TOO
MUCH STOCK IN THE POLLS.
[525]
>> I THINK THAT THE ENTHUSIASM
NOW IS GREATER AND MAYBE FAR
[528]
GREATER THAN IT WAS IN 2016.
[529]
I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T
WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
[532]
I THINK THEY'RE NOT GOING TO
SAY, HEY, I AM FOR TRUMP.
[535]
I'M FOR TRUMP.
[536]
>> STEPHEN: IF YOU'RE DOING SUCH
A GREAT JOB, WHY ARE THEY
[539]
EMBARRASSED TO SAY YOUR NAME?
[540]
WHEN YOU PROPOSE TO SOMEONE, YOU
GENERALLY DON'T SAY, BARBARA,
[544]
WILL YOU SPEND THE REST OF YOUR
LIFE WITH ME HIDING IN THE ATTIC
[547]
SO NO ONE KNOWS WE'RE MARRIED?
[551]
IN FACT, TRUMP'S DOING SO WELL
IN THE POLLS THAT, YESTERDAY, HE
[558]
REPLACED HIS CAMPAIGN MANAGER.
[559]
YEAH, YOU ALWAYS REPLACE SOMEONE
WHEN THINGS ARE GOING GREAT.
[562]
THIS SOUP'S DELICIOUS.
[563]
ARREST THE CHEF.
[566]
THE GUY TRUMP PUSHED ASIDE IS
FORMER TRUMP CAMPAIGN MANAGER
[571]
AND THE OFFICIAL TEMPLATE FOR
THE NFL FOOTBALL, BRAD PARSCALE.
[575]
YOU MAY REMEMBER PARSCALE FOR
HIS TWEET BACK IN MAY, FOR
[581]
NEARLY THREE YEARS WE HAVE BEEN
BUILDING A JUGGERNAUT
[582]
CAMPAIGN--DEATH STAR.
[583]
IT IS FIRING ON ALL CYLINDERS.
[584]
DATA, DIGITAL, TV, POLITICAL,
SURROGATES, COALITIONS, ETC.
[587]
IN A FEW DAYS WE START PRESSING
FIRE FOR THE FIRST TIME.
[590]
I BELIEVE WE HAVE FOOTAGE OF THE
MOMENT TRUMP CANNED PARSCALE:
[599]
>> I FIND MY LOW POLL NUMBERS
DISTURBING.
[601]
>> STEPHEN: OBVIOUSLY, THAT'S
NOT THE REAL FOOTAGE.
[602]
TRUMP DOESN'T WEAR A MASK.
[605]
BUT ACCORDING TO INSIDERS,
PARSCALE HASN'T BEEN COMPLETELY
[608]
CHOKED OUT, HE'S JUST BEEN
DEMOTED, BECAUSE TRUMP REALLY
[614]
CAN'T FIRE BRAD -- HE KNOWS TOO
MUCH.
[615]
(AS TRUMP)
LOOK GUYS.
[618]
WE CAN'T FIRE BRAD COMPLETELY.
[619]
HE'S THE ONE WHO HAS THAT MAP
THAT SHOWS WHERE ALL THE STATES
[620]
ARE.
[625]
WITH COVID CASE NUMBERS
SKYROCKETING IN MUCH OF THE
[627]
COUNTRY, BACK TO SCHOOL SEASON
IS LOOKING MORE LIKE BACK TO
[631]
LAPTOP.
[635]
IN CALIFORNIA, SCHOOLS IN
LOS ANGELES, SAN DIEGO AND
[638]
OAKLAND WILL BE DOING FULL
DISTANCE LEARNING IN THE FALL.
[639]
WITH SO MANY OF OUR NATION'S
YOUNG PEOPLE STUCK AT HOME, TEEN
[641]
TV DRAMAS ARE GOING TO HAVE
ADAPT.
[642]
WE'VE GOT A PREVIEW.
[643]
JIM?
[645]
♪
>> THIS IS AN ON CREEK DAY.
[648]
THIS STORY IS ABOUT STAYING
HOME.
[650]
BUT WHEN HIGH SCHOOL GOES
ONLINE, WELL, LIFE DOESN'T JUST
[658]
STOP.
[659]
HEY, BRADEN, I DIDN'T SEE YOU IN
SOCIAL STUDIES ZOOM.
[662]
WHAT GIVES?
[663]
>> NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
[664]
I THINK IT IS MY BUSINESS
BECAUSE WE'RE TOGETHER.
[667]
I SAW YOUR ZOOM CHATS.
[668]
YOU SENT THEM TO EVERYONE.
[669]
THEY WERE CLEARLY MEANT FOR
STASHLY.
[673]
>> WOW, SOMEONE'S CLINGY.
[676]
SOCIAL DISTANCE MUCH?
[679]
>> STASH!
[679]
ORRY, THAT WASN'T ME.
[680]
LISTEN, CASUALLY, CAN WE GO
SOMEWHERE AND TALK ABOUT THIS
[685]
PRIVATELY, LIKE SLACK?
[686]
>> GUYS, COME ON.
[687]
IN THESE MOST DIFFICULT TIMES,
WE SEXY TEAMS HAVE TO COME
[693]
TOGETHER AND --
>> I THINK YOU'RE FROZEN.
[696]
RADISSON.
[697]
>> NO, HE'S NOT FROZEN.
[701]
HE'S -- DEAD.
[703]
HE -- DIED.
[704]
FROM MURDER.
[706]
>> NOW HE'S FINALLY OUT OF OUR
WAY.
[708]
COME HERE, BABE.
[709]
>> WHERE ARE YOU?
[711]
OH, HERE YOU.
[711]
GO YEAH.
[717]
YOU GUYS!
[717]
>> THIS FALL, WE'RE DEFINITELY
STILL A THING.
[720]
>> STEPHEN: WE'VE GOT A GREAT
SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
[721]
W.
[722]
KAMAU BELL AND THE CHICKS ARE
HERE.
[725]
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, A NEW
SERVICE TO HELP PEACEFUL
[728]
PROTESTERS GET THEIR OUT.
[731]
STICK AROUND.
[732]
♪
♪
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