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$10M+ CEO: I actually opened and read these emails - YouTube
Channel: Ravi Abuvala
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I'm going to be auditing five cold
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emails that made their way into my
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inbox.
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We're back at it again with another
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episode of Cold Email Auditing.
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I'll be your host, Mr. Ravi Abuvala
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We have generated tens
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of millions of dollars from cold
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email and our company in
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Scaling With Systems. And in today's video
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I'm going to be auditing five
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different cold emails that made
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their way into my inbox.
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What I would do to change them, to
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have them start performing and what
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I would rank them one out of ten so
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that you know what to stay away from
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and which ones to model after.
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All right. Email number one we are
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getting from Aurelian Amacker
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and this is
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J.V. Opportunity Systems IO
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highest paying offer of the year.
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So if you see this in my other
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videos where I audit some emails,
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you can tell already that there's
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three main parts that I talk about
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with email copywriting.
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The first is the subject line.
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The second is the first line of text
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that convinces someone to keep on
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reading. And the third is the whole
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body slash call to action.
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And the issue that I see a lot of
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people making in the subject line is
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that they put their company name in
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the subject line, which is great if
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someone knows what system IO is, but
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I'll be frank with you, I have no
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idea. what's system IO is and my
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company's name is scaling with
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systems. Right.
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So it's just emails.
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Highest paying offer of the year.
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That's not bad.
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But at the same time, this has
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no personalization in it whatsoever.
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So this person Aurelian
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obviously just took this email and
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blasted to 10,000 people.
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And so why should I respond if I
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don't feel like this is the perfect
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fit for me?
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Why should I, as the end client
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of this, even care about responding?
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So I would change the subject line
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to be like something like you're
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the perfect fit or quick question,
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something that makes it think that
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this email is just for me.
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Hello comma.
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I definitely would add a first name
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after that. No personalization
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whatsoever.
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Systems. Io's collaborated with
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some of the biggest names in the
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industry to create a free offer
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packed with value for your audience.
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Names like Richard Shiffrin, Dan
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Log, Ryan Levesque, Dan
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Sharp, Jason Something and
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Rob Douglas and more.
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So a few things I
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would do right off the bat here.
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Like I've said in my other videos,
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the first line of text
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is the most important.
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The cold email.
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Great copywriting is just getting
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someone's permission to read the
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next line.
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And so if the first line is systems.io
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has collaborated with.
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Whoa, whoa. Okay.
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Who are you?
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Why should I care?
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Like, where did you find me?
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These are all things that you have
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to address in someone's mind.
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It's like writing a really good
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sales letter. So that's something
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that we do with our clients.
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It's going with systems and there's
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people just throw words on the page,
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right? And what they don't
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understand is there needs to be a
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correct order of operations for the
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words they think they're. Because
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when someone gets something they
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don't know, there is literally a
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scientific order of operations in
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their brain that happens.
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How did you find me?
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Who are you?
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Why should I trust you?
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Right. All of these things need to
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be established before we get
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to the call to action and
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aurelian here.
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Excuse me. If I'm pronounce the name
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wrong, just went straight for the
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throat so I would have said hello.
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Ravi, I came across
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your company scaling with systems when I
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was looking for amazing
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potential partners for our company
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systems.io systems.io
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is a company that does X, Y and
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Z, and we've worked with some of the
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largest names like Baba, Rich Friend
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and Long Run The Best Guy, and more
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than I think you'd
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be a great fit for a serious JV
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partner.
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And in return we can either
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promote your offer to our 70,000
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active list or offer you an upfront
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payment, right?
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So they're like, establish
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some credibility, establish who you
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are. I do like that they name
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dropped in here, so that's a good
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thing at least. But once again, it's
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just like it would be like me
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walking up to a girl on the street
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and be like, How do I phrases
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greatness? So I see some girl
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walking up the street and I go to it
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and I'd be like, Yeah, so dinner
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tonight at 7:00.
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Okay, cool. I'll see you there.
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It's just like, Oh, what?
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Who are you? Why me?
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These are the things you have to
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keep in mind. And I always think
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that dating and prospecting
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have a lot of commonalities in it.
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So if you're about a dating,
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well, then maybe proximity isn't for
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you. So does this sound
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worth exploring? Best regards early
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on. And the other thing that I don't
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love about this is, man, is this
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stuff big right here, right?
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So this just screams cold
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message sent to 10,000 people.
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And I don't you know, some people
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might disagree with me here.
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I do not love the profile
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image, the logo, all of the links
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to their stuff, the you know,
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all this stuff here, their website,
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this free button down here, just
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like I never signed up to this
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person's email list.
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And this is way too much
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information. And as soon as I open
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this email, as soon as I see all
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this, I'm exhausted or I don't even
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read the rest of the email.
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So keep it so that it looks like
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someone actually spent the time to
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type this out and send it to you
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and you'll have a much higher
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response rate from that.
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Overall, I'd probably give this
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email a three out of ten or an
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email. Number two here is from
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Chris. It says
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Response for reply.
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Sorry, this is a rugby question.
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Okay, so not a bad
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subject line, to be honest with you,
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because it is it looks like a much
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more personalized subject line.
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I actually really love subject lines
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where the first letter is a
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lowercase letter.
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I've literally sent tens of
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thousands of emails. So some of this
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stuff may seem a little bit.
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For so many people. But, you know,
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when you're when you're sending an
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email quickly from your phone, you
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you sometimes don't even capitalize
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the first letter in the subject
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line. So it it's different.
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It's unique. It makes it looks like
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this person just sent this email to
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me. I'll tell you another little
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quick bonus for those of you that
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are enjoying this video.
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I have had the highest response
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rates in the world.
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When I had an advertising agency and
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I would send cold emails, I was the
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main way we would acquire clients
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and at the very bottom I would put
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that line that said sent from my
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iPhone. Now, this was years ago.
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I don't think iPhone even does that
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anymore, but I would say sent from
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my iPhone. And so it just made it
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look so much more
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personalized. And like I literally
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typed this out on my phone.
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So think of ways that you can do
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that to this person. Feels like,
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okay, you're not they're not a
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number and 10,000 emails that you're
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sending haven't heard back
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from you. I'm not sure what
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happened. Okay. So I've talked about
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this in some my other videos.
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This is obviously a response to
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an earlier email that they sent me.
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Now, Chris, I am going to give bonus
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points here to Chris because
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what he has done is what I notice
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a lot of people don't do is he has
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put his follow up emails in the same
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thread as his original email.
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This is so important because I
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haven't heard back from you. I'm not
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sure what happened. What am I going?
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What are we? Just talk about the last
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person. Who the hell are you?
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Why do you care what happens to me?
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Like, what do you do?
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And now at least I can go
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back to the beginning.
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What it looks like is the bottom
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here. The first email they sent me
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and get a little bit more context.
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Now, the one piece of feedback I
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would give Chris if I was talking to
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Chris or he was a client of mine,
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was that I don't mind
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the follow up emails, but what I
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would really love to see is a
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at least one line of reference in
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the follow up email.
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So I haven't heard back from you.
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I'm not sure what happened.
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Just as a reminder, my name is Chris
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and I help X, Y or Z.
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So that way if I wanted to read the
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rest of the text, I could remember.
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Copywriting is just getting
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someone's permission to read the
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next line. So if I have to go dig
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into my emails or dig into this
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message here just to figure out who
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you are, it's over.
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You've lost.
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I'm not going to do it right.
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So if I
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looks back down here again, I can
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see his original email.
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So let's just audit his original
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email. Hey, Ravi.
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Chris here. You've never heard of
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me. Okay, so I've
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talked about this in a few of my
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other videos as well.
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In your email inbox, if you
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go to Gmail or Apple or
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God forbid, use something like
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Hotmail and you look in the
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actual platform, the email platform,
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you get a subject line when you're
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looking at an email and you get
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something called a pre header text,
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which is the first like 1 to 10
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words in the email before
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you even open the email.
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So what we always want to do
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is we want to make the subject line
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in the pre header text work together
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and then we want to make the first
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line of text that pre text look like
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it was like a very personalized
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email that you're just saying to
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this one person and that will
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skyrocket your open rates.
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So if I was looking at this before I
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even opened this email and I read
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this is a Ravi question, okay, I'm
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curious about this. And then the
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first line that I see in the
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prepared text says, Chris here,
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you've never heard of me.
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I'm out. I'm okay.
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This is someone selling me
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something. I don't care.
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Why do I care if I've never heard of
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Chris before? Right.
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So instead I might be like, Ravi.
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Chris here, love the videos that
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I've seen online of you doing X, Y,
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and Z that panders to
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my huge ego.
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And I'm like, Oh, well, let me open
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the email and see what this is
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about. Right?
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And then and then they can say, you
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may have never heard of me, right?
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But it's past the pre header text
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from afar as a pharmacist turn sales
[492]
guy to a lawyer turned
[494]
mega internet marketer.
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Okay. Okay.
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Once again, w ifm.
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What is in it for me?
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Why why do why do I care
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of your your little mini
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story here?
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Right. I created a video for you and
[508]
your team shared a revenue driven
[509]
new strategy below for your offer.
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Let me know if we can chat if a
[513]
chat makes sense.
[515]
Okay. So here are a few
[517]
additional adjustments I would do
[518]
here. So Ravi,
[520]
Chris here came across your company
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scaling systems when I was looking
[523]
for X, Y and z,
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our company looks like
[527]
creative DHO or DEA UX
[530]
UX.
[531]
Our company Creative Dough helps
[533]
offers just like you to skyrocket to
[535]
seven figures in six months or
[537]
less or their money back.
[538]
I created a video for your team
[540]
walking through exactly how we do it
[541]
for you.
[542]
Get access to it here.
[543]
Let me know if you chat.
[544]
Make sense. Here's my booking link.
[546]
Right. So one and
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also social proof.
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Okay.
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From a pharmacist turn sales guy to
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a lawyer turned mega internet
[553]
marketer.
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For those that are watching this
[555]
video that are in the Internet
[556]
marketing world, anybody that calls
[558]
himself a mega Internet marketer,
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I mean, with no disrespect to Chris,
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I don't want to talk to you know,
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I am mega Internet marketer.
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The mega Internet marketers I know
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they don't call themselves mega
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Internet marketers.
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And also, I think Internet
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marketers also have a bad
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rep. They have like a bad like
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there's a bad connotation when
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someone says Internet marketer.
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Now I started as Internet
[581]
Market, I would consider myself a
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business owner now, but I was
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and ran my business like an Internet
[585]
marketer for years.
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And for me at least, I can see
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it as a as a negative.
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I see as a negative connotation.
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So I would not include that
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personally in my cold email.
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Now the things I'll give Chris
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on here is obviously he has some
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cute things. So you're like, if you
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play your cards right, I might even
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tell you the lamest joke I know.
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And the other at the beginning of
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the follow up email says, I don't
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know if alligators ate the last few
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notes that I sent you.
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So it's like, you know, and then at
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the bottom here, it says below
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average vodka drinker.
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So it's like, you know, okay, these
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are cute little things.
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I'll give them a few points for, I
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guess, being cute.
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But as a B-to-B person, there are
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some huge, huge things that are
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missing here. And especially if
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you're trying to tell me how I
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should drive a revenue strategy for
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my business, I need more context on
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you, and I think this email needs a
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little bit of work. So all in all,
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I'd probably give this email four
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out of ten. Email number three is
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from Mr. Tim Richards.
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Quick question about your ad
[635]
services. Boom, Tim.
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Way to go, my man.
[637]
I actually like this one.
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Now I will say I just reread this
[641]
email. He's talking about the
[642]
advertising agency that I used to
[643]
run. I had an advertising, a
[646]
multiple seven figure advertising
[647]
agency called Prospect Social.
[648]
We service real estate agents.
[649]
I no longer have that company
[650]
anymore, but let's say I did have
[652]
that company.
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Tim would say quick question about
[655]
your ad services is if I did have
[656]
that company, that would be
[657]
appealing to me because I'm like,
[659]
Oh, wow, this is maybe a client
[661]
and say, Hey, Ravi.
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And also, hey, Ravi.
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It's like there needs to be.
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I really don't like grammatically
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incorrect stuff on a cold emails
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it just I think it's use
[672]
a free software like grammarly put
[674]
it inside of there make sure you're
[675]
not looking like a fool when you're
[676]
saying the emails out.
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Because in my eyes I'm like, okay,
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this person can't grammatically type
[680]
correctly. What else is wrong?
[682]
I'm a firm believer in how you do.
[683]
One thing is how you do everything.
[684]
So, hey, Ravi
[686]
bumped into your LinkedIn profile
[687]
when I was looking for Facebook ads
[689]
experts. Let's go back to what I
[690]
talked about previously.
[691]
The subject line matches
[694]
the the pre header text
[696]
and they both seem very
[697]
personalized. So this is going to
[698]
have a really high open rate.
[700]
So bold in your LinkedIn profile.
[701]
When I was looking for a Facebook
[702]
ads expert, we developed an an API
[705]
way platform that helps marketers
[707]
integrate Facebook tech talk lead
[708]
forms, a Google Sheets, CRM and 50
[710]
more marketing apps for automatic
[712]
client transfers between apps.
[714]
Okay, not bad.
[716]
I've talked about this in a few
[717]
other videos as well.
[718]
I recommend everybody that's doing
[720]
cold email use a software called
[721]
it's a website called Hemmingway App
[723]
and it makes your text much
[725]
more easier to understand.
[727]
So you always want to put text in
[728]
there and make it like a third grade
[730]
to fifth grade reading level.
[731]
And this line is a little bit of a
[733]
run online and it's really like
[735]
in a cold email.
[736]
If someone gets confused at all,
[737]
they're just going to exit out.
[738]
So you want to clean this up a
[739]
little bit. So, hey, Ravi bumped in
[741]
your LinkedIn profile when I was
[742]
looking for Facebook ads experts.
[744]
I'm reaching out because
[747]
our company API way
[750]
developed a platform that helps
[752]
marketers integrate their Facebook
[753]
and Tik-Tok live formats with
[756]
50 plus more marketing apps via
[757]
API period.
[759]
Right? So take out some of that
[760]
other stuff that's inside there and
[761]
make that the thing.
[763]
We work with clients such as
[765]
X, Y and Z, right?
[766]
Like this big person, this big
[768]
person, this big person here or we
[769]
worked with over there's over 792
[773]
happy marketing agencies that use
[775]
our clients, including the names
[776]
like X, Y and Z.
[777]
Right? If you're selling cold
[779]
emails, nobody wants to be the first
[780]
to do anything. So I need to know
[782]
how you helped other people with it.
[783]
And I might join a platform just
[785]
because I know somebody else that I
[787]
know is using it as well.
[788]
Because I'm thinking, well, you
[789]
know, they're using if they're
[791]
there with that person, then they
[793]
must be important, right.
[795]
So and it ends with do you use
[796]
Facebook lead forms for clients I
[798]
prospects also so you know I think
[800]
that API sounds like a software
[802]
so they probably don't have sales
[804]
calls, but I don't love leaving
[806]
cold emails with open ended
[808]
endings because it's like, okay,
[809]
then I respond back.
[810]
Yes, I use lead forms and then it's
[812]
just like long back and forth
[815]
of conversations where
[817]
if I was Tim, I might change that
[818]
to.
[819]
Are you currently happy with the
[821]
integration between your Facebook
[823]
lead forms and your CRM?
[825]
Right. Okay, then you can no,
[827]
no, I'm not happy because it's
[828]
frustrating.
[829]
Now, I know this person has a ten
[831]
times more likelihood of
[833]
switching over our software versus
[834]
just saying, do you use Facebook
[835]
lead forms for clients?
[836]
Because let's if we're looking at a
[838]
funnel there, clients obviously
[840]
need to be using Facebook lead for
[841]
them. So it's like, okay, here is
[843]
I'm going to use rough numbers here.
[845]
Here is 10 million people using
[846]
Facebook leads forms.
[848]
Right. And I use Zapier and
[849]
I have a different video on Zapier.
[851]
So you guys can watch that if you
[852]
want to. But I use Zapier, so it's
[853]
like I use Facebook lead forms
[855]
and then the one below that is like,
[857]
am I happy with the automation that
[858]
I'm using right now?
[859]
I actually would go, How many people
[861]
are using Facebook forms?
[862]
10 million.
[863]
How many of them are using a
[864]
software to connect Facebook live
[866]
form sort of CRM, let's say 5
[867]
million. And then the one below that
[869]
is how many people that are using
[871]
a software to connect Facebook live
[873]
forms to CRM are unhappy
[875]
with the way they're currently doing
[876]
it. That could be 100,000.
[879]
So if you're seeing these emails
[880]
out, let's say that are the original
[882]
question here.
[883]
Do you use Facebook lead forms?
[884]
You get 10 million responses,
[886]
which is obviously an exaggeration.
[887]
Then you were trying to sift through
[889]
all of this stuff just to find the
[891]
100,000 that actually are
[893]
using it but are currently unhappy.
[895]
Right. And there's there's a great,
[896]
great bunch of great books and
[898]
ideas around.
[899]
Levels of awareness.
[900]
When you're doing a sales cycle and
[902]
when you're doing cold email, you
[903]
don't want to go to the top highest
[905]
level of awareness because that's
[906]
going to be a very long sales cycle
[908]
for your cold email and instead
[910]
spend some time when you're looking
[911]
for your clients,
[913]
as well as spending some time when
[915]
you're in your cold email to
[916]
actually find people that are
[918]
further along the awareness journey.
[920]
If I was to give you an example and
[922]
hopefully you guys are still with me
[923]
in this video here, but if I was to
[924]
give you an example, what I would
[925]
probably do is I would actually
[927]
there's a few softwares out there,
[928]
like built with where you can find
[930]
people that are currently using
[932]
different softwares and on built
[933]
with you can see if people are using
[935]
Zapier.
[936]
So I would go in and I would find
[938]
people that I knew were using Zapier
[940]
in my cold email.
[941]
I'd be using text that's like, Hey,
[943]
I, you're probably
[945]
using Zapier for your Facebook lead
[946]
forms. Here's why Zapier is
[949]
inferior to our product API
[951]
way, right?
[952]
Then it's like, okay, you're giving
[953]
me everything right here.
[954]
It makes so much more sense.
[955]
And I'm going to hop on a call or
[957]
test out your product or service
[959]
there. Okay.
[960]
Thanks, tim. From api way,
[962]
you know, in the united states for c
[963]
span laws, you do need to have your
[965]
your business address on here.
[966]
So I think he's missing this as
[967]
well. So I just think one or two
[969]
more lines of text and Tim, you
[970]
could have had a bang or email here,
[971]
but so far on today's video, I would
[973]
give this one the best one so far.
[975]
We probably put it in in six or
[976]
seven out of ten.
[977]
E.M. Before we have here is from
[979]
Soroush.
[980]
Excuse me if I'm pronouncing that
[981]
wrong, monetize your knowledge
[983]
with and with interactive live
[985]
classes. Okay, so I've
[987]
said this once, I've said it a
[988]
million times.
[989]
You make the subject line something
[990]
a little bit more personal so that
[992]
I'm more likely to open it.
[993]
If I know it's a sales letter, I'm
[994]
much less likely to do this.
[996]
I talk about this in a previous
[997]
video, but some of the best email
[999]
copywriters of all time, or I'm
[1001]
sorry, were some of the best
[1002]
copywriters of all time.
[1003]
They used to send out handwritten
[1005]
letters or, you know, mass market
[1007]
direct messaging letters to people's
[1009]
mailboxes.
[1010]
And what they would do is what they
[1011]
make the actual physical letter.
[1013]
You know, for some of you may have
[1014]
never seen the letter in your life.
[1015]
You guys are so young, but they
[1017]
would make a physical letter look
[1019]
like it was from one of their loved
[1020]
ones or from their mom or from
[1022]
their kid.
[1023]
And they're much more likely to open
[1024]
it that way because everybody knows
[1026]
or they knew. I should say that if
[1027]
you don't get someone to even open
[1029]
letter in the first place, you're
[1030]
marketing message. No matter how
[1031]
much gold is written in, it has a 0%
[1034]
chance of working. So I would change
[1035]
the subject line to something a
[1036]
little bit more personal.
[1037]
Now, I'm not going to read this part
[1038]
here because this is obviously a
[1039]
follow up. Let me read the first one
[1041]
here. Hi, Ravi.
[1042]
My name is Cyrus.
[1043]
I am the CEO of Light Hall, a
[1044]
streaming platform for educators.
[1046]
Okay, you guys already know I
[1048]
love a line of personalization
[1049]
inside of here instead of just
[1050]
straight to my name is Search on the
[1051]
City of Light Hall because I don't
[1053]
really care, Ira.
[1054]
The reason I'm reaching out is
[1056]
I saw that you were a industry
[1058]
leader in the business.
[1060]
To business, you know, educator
[1061]
space, something along those lines.
[1063]
I'm not saying that I am, guys.
[1064]
I'm just saying flatter me.
[1065]
If you're trying to send me a cold
[1067]
email, flatter me with how you found
[1068]
me. Right.
[1069]
And then. So, hi, Ravi.
[1071]
I saw that you were an industry
[1072]
leader in the B2B education space
[1074]
and I wanted to reach out.
[1075]
My name is Suresh.
[1076]
I'm the CEO of Light Hall, a
[1078]
livestreaming platform for
[1079]
educators, period.
[1080]
New paragraph.
[1081]
Remember, we like to add different
[1082]
lines, different hair.
[1084]
Each line of text should be a
[1086]
different paragraph. It's easier on
[1087]
the eyes to read.
[1088]
We work with 80 plus influential
[1090]
educators with an audience of 10
[1091]
million learners delivered large
[1092]
scale interactive live classes on
[1094]
professional skills.
[1095]
Period. New paragraph.
[1097]
I found your YouTube videos on sales
[1099]
and believe you'd be a great fit for
[1100]
our platform. Okay, so
[1103]
what we should do is take this line
[1104]
here I found you are
[1106]
your videos on sales and I would
[1107]
move that below.
[1109]
Hi, Ravi.
[1110]
Okay. Because now it is
[1113]
that first line of personalization
[1114]
is above where we're starting to get
[1115]
into who I am or who you
[1117]
are. Excuse me.
[1119]
Our top educators would earning
[1120]
$10,000 plus per month teaching live
[1122]
interactive classes with hundreds of
[1123]
paying learners per class.
[1125]
We have even an incentive program
[1126]
for new educators will pay you $280
[1128]
per session of $5 per learner
[1130]
who attends one of your sessions?
[1133]
I love you.
[1134]
I would love to give you a quick
[1135]
demo and enjoy my questions.
[1136]
You may have you can schedule a
[1137]
quick 15 minute call here.
[1139]
So all in all, not about email other
[1140]
than those changes that I will do
[1141]
there gets the points, add
[1143]
social proof inside of here.
[1145]
Only thing I'd probably say is
[1147]
if you could add in
[1149]
more specific names of people that
[1151]
are on here. So okay, you run light
[1153]
hall, but who uses light hall?
[1155]
Right. You said 80 plus influential
[1156]
virtual educators like X,
[1158]
Y and Z.
[1159]
Once again, don't be
[1161]
afraid to use people's real names
[1163]
are the real companies.
[1164]
If you work with them, it can
[1166]
massively help your response rates.
[1168]
And then obviously did a follow up
[1169]
and I will get service
[1171]
credit because of all the emails
[1173]
I've gone through.
[1174]
This is the first that Will gives
[1176]
you a reference in the follow up
[1177]
email,
[1180]
not just in the original thread, but
[1182]
it's in the same email.
[1182]
So really, really great job on that
[1184]
search. The thing I probably
[1186]
say that I would just have to give
[1187]
him the biggest feedback on is move
[1189]
this. I found her YouTube videos
[1191]
above the fold, essentially
[1193]
right below hi rugby and also break
[1195]
out this text a little bit more.
[1196]
So it's just so much easier to read
[1198]
finally on. No red light holds based
[1199]
out of the United States C-SPAN
[1201]
logs. You need your business address
[1202]
and you need a way for someone to
[1204]
opt out your stuff here.
[1205]
So all in all, I'd probably give
[1206]
this 1a7 out of ten.
[1208]
This is actually really good, and
[1209]
I'd bet that this thing's probably
[1211]
producing decent results for source
[1213]
IMO. Number five here by to think
[1215]
it says subject line is free gifts.
[1218]
So you know I don't love it
[1220]
to be quite frank with you, the
[1221]
subject of my free gifts.
[1222]
Why do I care?
[1223]
You know, it's like people that
[1225]
message me say, Oh, I'd love to work
[1226]
for you for free.
[1227]
I don't want free stuff.
[1228]
Right? I if you're working with the
[1229]
business owner, depending on where
[1230]
they're at, they probably don't want
[1231]
free stuff either. They just want
[1232]
things done.
[1234]
And also, who are you?
[1235]
So why free gift?
[1236]
Also, nothing in life is free.
[1238]
There's no such thing as a free
[1239]
lunch rights tends to apple.
[1240]
So just keep in mind that if
[1242]
you're saying free gift, it's like
[1244]
you're trying to trick the person in
[1246]
to be like, Oh, here's this thing
[1247]
with no strings attached,
[1249]
which is obviously there are strings
[1250]
attached. You want me to work with
[1251]
you. So I don't love that subject
[1253]
line. I would put it something a
[1254]
little bit more personalized.
[1255]
Hi, Ravi. I completely agree with
[1257]
what?
[1258]
I agree with you.
[1259]
To get what you want in life, you
[1261]
have to ask for it, as you mentioned
[1263]
in your last YouTube video.
[1264]
Okay, so do think add
[1266]
a line of personalization, which I
[1268]
do like, but I had to
[1269]
read this like closer and read
[1271]
it twice to understand what you're
[1272]
saying already.
[1274]
You're losing in that instance
[1275]
there. So I would have reworded that
[1276]
a little bit. But so I might say
[1278]
I do think the subject line might
[1280]
say something like regarding your
[1282]
last YouTube video.
[1283]
Hi, Ravi. Comma, new paragraph.
[1287]
In your last YouTube video, you
[1288]
mentioned that to get what you want
[1290]
in life, you have to ask for it.
[1292]
And that's been my experience as
[1293]
well. Just a little bit of change
[1295]
there makes it so much easier to
[1296]
read and understand.
[1298]
Next paragraph.
[1299]
I notice that you have your own
[1300]
remote integrator masterclass, which
[1301]
is our one of our products.
[1303]
And for some reason that made me
[1305]
remember an extremely succulent
[1307]
old recession proof campaign
[1309]
that made the founder a
[1310]
multi-millionaire during the peak of
[1311]
the Great Depression.
[1312]
Okay. So I guess he's using a little
[1314]
bit of like like curiosity
[1316]
here, but let's read the rest of it.
[1318]
So I put together an email inspired
[1320]
by that old campaign related to
[1322]
promoting a Guru Masterclass.
[1323]
Also in the email I reveal why I did
[1325]
what I did and why it is important
[1327]
to the reader.
[1328]
Do you want me to send it over?
[1329]
Okay.
[1330]
For those of you that have been
[1331]
paying attention and keeping up at
[1333]
home, what's the main thing that's
[1335]
wrong with this email? My opinion.
[1337]
Exactly.
[1340]
What's in it for me?
[1341]
W I found so I
[1343]
put an email together related to
[1344]
your old masterclass and the email I
[1346]
revealed why I did what I did and
[1348]
why it's important to the reader.
[1349]
It's like, okay, why
[1351]
do I care? What is this email going
[1353]
to do? Like it's there's too
[1355]
much ambiguity here, I know that
[1357]
you think is trying to add
[1358]
ambiguity. So I'm like, Oh, well,
[1360]
what is this and what is this about?
[1362]
But at the same time it makes me
[1364]
for me, it bothers me a little bit.
[1366]
I would like and my cold emails
[1368]
I like to get straight to the point
[1370]
so that I can get someone to respond
[1371]
back and know that they're a good
[1372]
fit. Like I talked about one of the
[1374]
earlier people, they're like, just
[1375]
getting someone to respond is not
[1377]
your goal in cold email.
[1378]
Getting someone who's qualified and
[1380]
has a basic understanding that what
[1381]
you offer is paid and what it
[1383]
is, then getting them to
[1385]
respond. That's what you want.
[1386]
I'd rather have five people respond
[1388]
that actually want to work with me
[1390]
or potentially want to work with me.
[1391]
Then 500 people respond but
[1393]
have no idea what they're doing
[1394]
here. Right.
[1396]
And also it's like I and for
[1398]
some reason that made me
[1400]
remember an extremely succulent old
[1402]
recession proof. It's like, come on,
[1403]
you effect my online
[1405]
product made you remember this
[1407]
that made the founder a
[1408]
multi-millionaire during the peak of
[1409]
the Great Recession. It's like it's
[1411]
just reaching way too much or making
[1413]
way too many jumps here.
[1414]
And and it just this
[1416]
whole email should be rewarded, to
[1417]
be honest with you. I the only thing
[1419]
I like about this email is the
[1421]
fact that he had the personalization
[1422]
of the YouTube video. But I have no
[1424]
idea what this person does.
[1425]
I have no idea who they work with.
[1426]
In the past.
[1428]
I also that remind me remember
[1430]
an extremely succulent old recession
[1432]
movie campaign that made the founder
[1433]
a multi-millionaire. So you weren't
[1434]
even involved in what made this
[1436]
person the multi-millionaire?
[1438]
It's like, So why should I care?
[1439]
Who are you?
[1440]
All these questions are left
[1442]
unanswered. There's no signature,
[1443]
there's no business address, and
[1446]
there's no way to opt out.
[1447]
So in all honesty, this one will
[1449]
probably get a one out of ten from
[1450]
me. The secret to generating
[1452]
millions of dollars from outbound
[1454]
cold messaging has nothing to do
[1456]
with the actual message itself.
[1458]
And I'm about to jump into my screen
[1460]
here in screen share and show you
[1462]
what it does have to do with.
[1464]
And then I'm going to write
[1466]
out a code message for you that
[1467]
is guaranteed to convert.
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