The Visa Interview | by Sabarish Kandregula | VIVA - YouTube

Beware of the Visa Interview, brother!!

Feather lite bro. Have seen many interviews!

But here, they will approve only if they believe that you come back to India.

Oh, In that case, I Love My India!!

Can you please give me your passport?

Sure sir.

Yeah

Oh Raghav!!

Yeah...

How do you do?

What do you do?

Alright!! So, Why do you want to go to the United States?

Because, I love my India!!!

I am sorry?

I mean I love my friend who is in USA.

Why do you want to visit your friend?

I have my friend’s graduation ceremony sir.

Oh.

And it is a very important event, as we were kids from childhood.

You mean friends from childhood?

Yeah, I love my India!

Oh, Okay Okay...

So which university is your friend graduating from?

ileana university sir

ileana University?! Never heard in my ten years of service!!

How come sir? It is very famous.

Aren’t you from USA?

Nuts!!

First tell me where is the University?

In her city called ileana sir. It is also called UIUC.

UIUC means University of Illinois, not Ileana.

Yeah, that is what I repeated!!

Okay!!!

So, by which airlines are you flying?

Air India sir. I love my India.

*When Mr.Bush was Mr.President*

So why do you want to go to the United States?

My friend is room shifting sir.

Oh

He asked me for help.

That is why I want to go to the US.

You are going to the United states to help your friend shift his room!!

Exactly

That is very concerning.

Your Visa has been approved. Have a great stay in the United States.

By the by which airlines are you flying by?

Air India. I love my India.

One minute.

Do you recognise him? Do you recall seeing him?

Aaa, l think I grew up with him.

But no sir, I have not seen him.

What the Kattappa!! Your brother said room shifting and he shifted country.

Said he will be back in nine days and its been nine years.

He already made me a Sapota

And you are trying to make me sapota again?

Please sir. Approve my visa sir!

Even my brother said to go to your counter

How do you know that, I am that one?

Even a child can catch you, sir!

Child can catch me?

Your Visa has been rejected. You may go!

Sir, please sir. I love my India sir...

Then stay in India. Stay!!

I love my India sir...

GO

Twelfth BiPC

Yes sir...

First year Computer science

Second year mechanical engineering

Third year Civil

Fourth year bio technology?!!

And now you have applied to do Law in US

I don't belong to any group sir, only groups belong to me!

Sounds astounding, but I'd be glad if I really understand it!

Thank you sir!

Anyways, Which university have you applied for?

Sir.. the name is.. aa...ddd... ccc...

He does not even know where he is going!

It would be in the file, just look for it sir...

Okay custard fruit, tell me which city are you going to?

Dallaspur sir.

Dallaspur!!!

Yo

How about money there?

Sir, I will do part time in full time sir

Also, my friends earning very good money in iPhone business sir

Oh. They work at the apple store?

No sir. They will buy new iPhones...

After few days, they will call customer care and say

‘I lost my phone, I lost my phone. Please believe me, please believe me’.

And

After getting the new phone, they will sell the old phones to our friends in India.

Oh. Isn’t it illegal?

What is legal? What is illegal?

Who are we to decide sir?

Right!!!

Sir, why did you rejected my Visa?

Who am I to reject? Who am I to approve? now fly off from here.

Are you coming from any function?

Yes sir, My marriage.

Marriage?! What about your husband?

He is in USA sir

I am so sorry. He ran away?!

Why will he run away sir?! We gave him two crores dowry.

TWO CRORES!!

Why did you give such a huge amount?

He is a NRI sir. Initial investment is high.

INVESTMENT?!!

Indians come for fifty lakhs only sir.

When it is NRIs, they cost at least 1.5 to 2 crores sir. Mine is a very reasonable deal, I must say.

Are you marrying or doing business transactions?

What is new in this sir? Our front neighbors, side neighbors, back neighbors all got a NRI deal.

We proved we are no lesser to them sir.

Btw what do you want to do after going to the US?

It is no Sudoku sir.I will have a baby in nine months.

My parents come to see the baby and settle there. Few days after my relatives will come. Settle there.

Even them?

And gradually we will transplant my family tree in the US sir.

Not surprised!

Sir, please courier Visa directly to my home

Sure, before that we will courier your husband

I don't understand?

Cool down dear. It does not look good if the entire jungle moves for the ‘Ek tha tiger’.

So we will pull him back here... and make him stay here itself

Sir, How can I face my front, side and back neighbours?!

Do not worry dear. Give us their details too. We will hunt their ‘Ek tha tigers’ and send them back too.

Then it is a fair deal sir.

Satisfied? Now please leave.

Why are you going to the USA?

To do Masters sir.

Which University?

RIT

Will you come back to India after the course?

I love my India sir

Depends Sir

Will you organise rallies for celebrity visits to the US?

Obviously!!

Will you be only with Indians there?

I will be with everyone.

What do you do on long weekends?

Will binge watch Balika Vadhu at home sir.

Will explore the USA.

What do you do when you need to Pee?

Will pee by the road sir.

What if you don’t get a job?

Will get fake experience from the consultancy sir.

If you get the job?

Will marry the girl with highest dowry and upload our marriage pics on FB sir.

Will you organise caste meets?

To hell with the castes sir.

What do you do when you are face-to-face with Mr.Trump?

Who is he sir?

Will you wear dhotis and roam around?

No sir.

Will you greet people on the streets?

I do not do such time waste things sir

Will you litter on the roads?

Any doubt?

Did you slap me by any chance sir?

No.

Okay.

Thank you sir.

It is okay.

Sirrrr..

You go and binge watch CID too... Leave.

Hello sir.

Myself Chaithanya Parayana Rao. You can call me Chipa.

Oh, Okay.

So Mr. Chipa, Why do you want to go the US?

Sir, to establish educational institutions and enhance American education system.

Oh!! Interesting.

So, Do you have any prior experience in the education industry?

We have twenty plus years of experience sir. Thousands of buildings. Lakhs of students.

Crores of money.

And hundreds of suicides.

WHAT?!!

Aa.. I mean ranks sir.

Oh, Interesting stats.

What is the name of your educational institution?

Free Chaithanya Parayana educational institutions sir.

American educations system is already good. Why do you want to go there again?

NRI parents in the US are terribly worried about their children’s education sir.

They feel bad as there are no homework and study hours in the US.

So we decided to go there, Establish an institution per street, Crush hundreds of

children per classroom, scrub, rinse and dry wash them until 10 PM in study hours until they get ranks...

[Ringtone]: *ONE..ONE..ONE.. TWO TWO..all ranks are ours... ranks mean Chipa.. Chipa means ranks...

Hello..

Yeah, almost done. This man is in our track after going through our track record!!

What?! Oh another suicide uh? Cover it up with money guys.

How many times should I tell you not to call me for small things

Sir, looks like there is a technical error.

Cant you see a physical rejected stamp, You Chimp!!

Sir, where do your children study?

Definitely not in your concentration camps!!

Hello...What? A principal is murdered?!! I am coming right away.

aa.. AH?! One.. two.. three..

So, documents show you murdered three people.

That’s right. I am an Ex-MLA too.

Oh, not surprised.

Btw, why do you want to go to the USA?

A NRI cheated and sold me a land that already belongs to me

I will murder that bastard right at the Times square and come back with his head

Approve my visa, SIR!

I can not grant Visas to murder, Sir. You may please leave, Sir!

Give me a Tourist Visa then...

You want a tourist visa to kill a person in the US?!

Yes!!

That is not possible either sir. Please leave sir.

I think this helps

I am surprised!!!

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Hey Trump uncle. No uncle I am not talking to Kim Jong un.

Did you take your BP tablets? They are right under your table.