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John Oliver Anticipates A Brexit 'No Deal' - YouTube
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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU LUCKY
BOYS AND GIRLS,
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MY FIRST GUEST IS THE EMMY
AWARD-WINNING HOST OF "LAST WEEK
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TONIGHT" ON HBO. PLEASE WELCOME,
JOHN OLIVER!
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( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( BAND PLAYING )
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( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( BAND PLAYING )
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>> Stephen: NICELY DONE!
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GOOD EVENING.
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GOOD EVENING TO ALL.
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>> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU
AGAIN.
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>> LET ME SAY THIS, THERE ARE
VERY EXCITABLE KAY POP FANS
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OUTSIDE.
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YOU HAVE NEVER TRULY HEARD
DISAPPOINTMENT UNTIL YOU PULL UP
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IN A LARGE BLACK CAR, HEAR
SCREAMS OF KAY POP BAND WHEN YOU
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GET OUT, NOT A MEMBER OF A KAY
POP BAND.
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OH, MAYBE NEXT ONE.
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>> Stephen: YOU COULD DO IT.
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IT'S ALL ABOUT CONFIDENCE,
ISN'T IT.
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>> Stephen: IT IS.
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UCCESS IN A K POP BAND IS
90% CONFIDENCE.
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>> Stephen: THE REST IS
SINGING THE KOREAN.
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>> THEY FEEL LIKE JUMPABLE
HURDLES.
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>> Stephen: NICE TO HAVE YOU
BACK.
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THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE FOR
YOUR ANNUAL CHECKUP.
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>> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.
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>> Stephen: EXACTLY.
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WE'LL GET THERE.
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I PUT THE GLOVES AWAY,
UNFORTUNATELY.
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( LAUGHTER )
YOU'RE ABOUT TO START SEASON
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SIX.
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>> YES.
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>> Stephen: YOU PROBABLY
ALREADY STARTED BUT IT
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LAUNCHES --
>> WE STARTED SUNDAY.
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WE HAVE BEEN PREPPING THINGS.
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>> Stephen: CONFIDENCE HIGH.
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FEEL GOOD?
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THINK YOU'RE GOING TO SQUEEZE
OUT THE SHOWS THIS TIME?
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>> CONFIDENCE HIGH?
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NO.
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MY CONFIDENCE IS NEVER HIGH.
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SELF-LOATHING HIGH, CONCERN
ASTRONOMIC.
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>> Stephen: YOU'RE A CREATURE
FUELED PURELY BY ANXIETY.
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>> THAT'S RIGHT.
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>> Stephen: I'VE GIVEN YOU
LOTS OF HELL OVER THE YEARS, YOU
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KNOW I'M JUST JOKING.
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I HAVE ENORMOUS RESPECT FOR YOU
AND I KNOW THAT YOUR WORK IS
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INCREDIBLY HARD BECAUSE LOOK
WHAT IT IS DOING TO YOU.
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>> THANK YOU.
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>> Stephen: YOU ARE DECAYING.
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YOU ARE DECAYING BEFORE OUR VERY
EYES.
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YOU WORE JET BLACK HAIR THE LAST
TIME I SAW YOU.
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YOU LOOKED LIKE YOU WERE IN A K
POP BAND THE LAST TIME I SAW
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YOU.
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>> THE KEY IS TO START FROM NOT
A PARTICULARLY ATTRACTIVE POINT
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BECAUSE THAT KNOCKS THE EDGE
OFF.
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IF YOU SALT AND PEPPER IT, IT'S
JUST HE WAS MORE TIRED THAN
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BEFORE, HE ALWAYS SEEMED
EXHAUSTED WITH NO REASON.
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>> Stephen: YOU'RE VERY
DISTINGUISHED.
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>> OH.
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>> Stephen: I'M OUT OF FRENCH.
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TOTALLY 100%.
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WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THE NEW
POLITICAL REALITY THAT YOU'VE
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RETURNED TO?
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BECAUSE YOUR LAST SHOW WAS RIGHT
AFTER THE MIDTERMS, RIGHT?
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>> YEAH, JUST AFTER THAT, AND
THEN OUR LAST SHOW WAS KIND OF
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TRYING TO WORK OUT WHY THE WORLD
SPENT 12 MONTHS IT SEEMS
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SHIFTING TO THE RIGHT, WHETHER
IN HUNGARY, POLAND, BRAZIL, AND
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TRYING TO FIND ANSWERS TO THE
BOTTOM OF THAT DEPRESSING
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VOLCANO.
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>> Stephen: WE JUST PASSED THE
MIDPOINT IN TRUMP'S HOPEFULLY
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FIRST AND ONLY TERM, AND SOME
SAY THE END IS IN SIGHT.
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I DON'T SAY THAT BUT --
>> I DEFINITELY DON'T HAVE THAT
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KIND OF OPTIMISM.
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TO SAY WE'RE HALFWAY THROUGH HIS
PRESIDENCY IS TO IGNORE THE
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POSSIBILITY OF A SECOND TERM.
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WE ARE TWO TO SIX YEARS AWAY
FROM IS PRESIDENCY.
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( BOOING )
OH, WOW.
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IS THIS A BIG TRUMP 2024 FANS IN
HERE?
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>> Stephen: THREE TERMS.
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THREE TERMS.
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WH>> WHY NOT?
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>> Stephen: HE HAS TO GO AT
SOME POINT, CONSTITUTIONALLY.
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>> WE ALL HAVE SOMETHING TO AIM
AT.
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WE ALL HAVE A FINISH LINE LIKE
IN A MARATHON THAT WE ALL
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STUMBLE OVER, BE COVERED IN A
CAPE AND HAVE SOMEONE SAY, YOU
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REALLY SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT.
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>> Stephen: WHICH IS TO STAY
ALIVE TILL JANUARY 21, 2025?
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>> I THINK THAT'S WHAT WE ALL
HAVE TO DO, ALL OF US ESPECIALLY
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RUTH BADER GINSBURG.
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( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
I MEAN, LISTEN, IF SHE CAN
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FUNCTION TINKERBELL STYLE AND WE
CAN JUST KEEP HER ALIVE BY
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CLAPPING OUR HANDS, AT THAT
POINT PELOSI NEEDS TO GO FULL
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ALLIGATOR CLAP.
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BELIEVE, CHILDREN!
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BELIEVE!
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( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: YOU STILL GET
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ACROSS THE POND TO YOUR FAMILY
AND FRIENDS IN ENGLAND.
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>> I HAVEN'T BEEN BACK IN 18
SNOONTS YOU TALK TO THEM ABOUT
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BREXIT?
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>> YEAH.
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>> Stephen: A MONTH LEFT
BEFORE EVERYTHING GOES TEA
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KETTLE UP.
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( LAUGHTER )
>> YES, YES, THAT IS -- YOU
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STUMBLED INTO, YES, THAT'S AN
ACCURATE PHRASE.
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THE TEA KETTLE REALLY COMES TO A
SIMMER.
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>> Stephen: REALLY GOING TO
THE TIN.
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>> THEN WE'LL REALLY HAVE TO
DUNK THE GARABALDI, IF YOU KNOW
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WHAT I MEAN.
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TOO DEEP A CUP.
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>> Stephen: YEAH, SURE.
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THE THING WITH THE CURRENT
PRESIDENT, IS AGAIN, THERE IS
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THAT END POINT IN SIGHT,
TECHNICALLY WHENEVER THAT POINT
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IS.
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WITH BREXIT, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
INTERNATIONAL DAMAGE THAT COULD
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END UP BEING DONE HERE, SOUTH
VERY, VERY BAD.
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>> Stephen: HAS ANY HAPPENED?
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MARCH 26?
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>> TWENTY-NINTH.
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>> Stephen: IT'S, LIKE, IF
THEY DON'T GET A DEAL, THEY JUST
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HAVE TO LEAVE WITH NO DEAL.
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>> THAT'S RIGHT.
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>> Stephen: WHAT DOES NO DEAL
MEAN?
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>> IT MEANS WE'LL SEE.
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WE'LL SEE WHAT IT MEANS.
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IT'S LIKE SAYING TO SOMEONE WHO
JUST JUMPED OUT OF AN AIRPLANE
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WITHOUT A PARACHUTE, WHAT DOES
THIS MEAN?
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I GUESS IT MEANS A MASSIVE
EXERCISE IN CONFIDENCE.
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( LAUGHTER )
LET'S HOPE THIS WORKS OUT FOR
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YOU.
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I DON'T REALLY SEE WHAT YOUR END
PLAN IS HERE.
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>> Stephen: WHAT EFFECTS HAVE
THERE BEEN, ALREADY?
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>> WELL, IT HASN'T HAPPENED YET.
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THAT'S THE CRAZY THING.
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BRITAIN VOTED FOR BREXIT TWO
YEARS AGO.
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IT HASN'T HAPPENED.
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THE BRITISH ECONOMY CONTRACTED
AND THE POUND IS DOWN 13%.
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>> Stephen: HAVE PEOPLE
CHANGED THEIR ECONOMIC PLANS?
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>> BASED ON MOTHERLE SHEEP
FARMERS ARE DECIDING HOW MANY
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SHEEP SHALL I HAVE OR SELL MY
SHEEP ALTOGETHER.
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>> Stephen: WHAT YOU DESCRIBED
IS ILLEGAL.
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( LAUGHTER )
THOUGH COMMON, I UNDERSTAND, IN
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SCOTLAND.
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YES.
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( APPLAUSE )
>> I'M STILL NOT QUITE SURE WHAT
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THAT APPLAUSE IS FOR.
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>> Stephen: I KNOW EXACTLY.
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IF YOU ASKED THEM, I'M NOT
SURE THEY COULD DESCRIBE IT.
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THAT'S THE PROBLEM, YOU'RE
HAVING TO THINK SO LONG TERM.
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THEY HAVE LAMBS THAT WILL BE
BORN IN POST-BREXIT BRITAIN AND
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YOU WON'T KNOW HOW MUCH TO SELL
THEM FOR.
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>> Stephen: OR WHEN TO SHEAR
THEM.
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>> WHEN SHALL I SHE SHEAR YOU.
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>> Stephen: YOU HAVE TO GET
CONSENT.
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>> HAVE YOU EVER SHEARED?
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>> Stephen: I HAVE.
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I LIKE THE SMELL.
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>> DID YOU?
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>> Stephen: LLANO LYNN.
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THERE'S A FUNK.
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>> Stephen: WEEE WANT THE
FUNK, GOTTA HAVE THE FUNK.
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♪ WE NEED THE IF YOU THINK ♪
♪ GOTTA HAVE THAT FUNK ♪
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>> THEY'RE ALWAYS THERE.
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KEEP IT GOING, AT SOME POINT,
CBS WILL HAVE TO FIGHT THE
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ROYALTIES ON THAT.
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♪ WE'VE GOT THE FUNK ♪
>> Stephen: DON'T GO.
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BACK WITH MORE JOHN OLIVER.
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WE HAVE A SPECIAL PRIZE!
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