Planning for the future: moving forward after separation or divorce (When Separating) - YouTube

CHRIS: Hey guys

DYLAN: Hi dad

MICHELLE: Here you go...

MICHELLE: Ok kids I'll see you Sunday afternoon, be good! ...

I'll be over later to pick up Jasper.

CHRIS: Actually Michelle... Instead of dropping off Hayley and Dylan on Sunday,

I was thinking I could keep them till Tuesday morning. I can drop them off at school on the way to work.

MICHELLE: Chris, you can't spring this on me at the last minute. You haven't given me any notice.

I don't want Hayley and Dylan to be disrupted during the school week.

CHRIS: Come on Michelle. I want to spend some proper time with them. I want to be involved in their school stuff too.

I don't want to just hang out with them at the weekends.

MICHELLE: This is not the time to discuss this.

I'm not saying I don't think it should ever happen I just think we need to find a time to talk about it properly.

CHRIS: Right, fine Michelle. I'll drop them off around four as usual.

But I want to sort this out. I'm sick of just spending time with the kids only on the weekends.

MICHELLE: Alright, four suits me, thanks Chris

CHRIS: I was so desperate to spend time with the kids

that I'd just badger Michelle. I never sat down to talk about it with her properly.

We actually didn't realise what help we needed.

It took a while for Michelle and me to sort out arrangements that we were both happy with.

It was worth seeing a lawyer.

MICHELLE: I got a lot of well meaning opinions from friends and family about how to resolve our problems,

but I realise now a lot of it was misguided.

The help we got from experts was really worth it.

The more information you have, the better decisions you can make.

Whatever arrangements we make, we need to be prepared to be flexible

their needs are going to change.

MICHELLE: Hi. Mum? Hi. Yeah, I'm just checking you're still ok to pick Dylan up from school today ...

Yeah ... I've got that parent teacher thing.

Ok. Thanks so much Mum. Bye.

MICHELLE: Sorry I'm late.

TIM: No worries Michelle thanks for coming in.

Okay. Hayley's last two assignments have been well below the standard of work she was producing at the beginning of the year.

I understand the two of you separated a few months ago.

CHRIS: Hang on. Sorry I didn't realise you'd been told.

MICHELLE: Someone had to tell them Chris.

CHRIS: Did you know Hayley was failing?

TIM: Just to be clear, she's not failing.

MICHELLE: She's just not doing as well as she could.

CHRIS: Why didn't you tell me?

MICHELLE: You've never been that involved with what's happening at school.

I've always been the one in touch with their teachers.

CHRIS: But I'm supposed to know about important stuff like this.

MICHELLE: Well, nothing is stopping you from calling the school.

CHRIS: Michelle, you're missing the point. It's not about who rings who.

It's about me knowing what's going on with the kids.

MICHELLE: I spoke to your teachers tonight.

HAYLEY: Yeah.

MICHELLE: Mr Gray showed me your last two essays.

I'm disappointed Hayley. It doesn't look like you put much effort in.

HAYLEY: Yeah they were really hard.

MICHELLE: Hayley, is there anything you want to talk about?

NANNA: Grandpa's reading Dylan his bedtime story.

HAYLEY: Thanks Nanna.

NANNA: So how's everything been?

HAYLEY: I'm fine.

NANNA: It must be pretty hard at the moment.

HAYLEY: Mum just doesn't understand. Like, she went off at me the other day about some dumb school stuff.

She has no idea how hard this is. I just feel like I'm packing up and moving all the time.

You get to Mum's and you've left stuff at Dad's. You get to Dad's and you've left stuff at Mum's.

It's so frustrating.

I miss doing stuff with Mum and Dad together.

It's weird with them not being in the same house.

I hate that they've separated.

CALLUM: Ok, Dylan was being bullied by a kid called Jack. Dylan retaliated and pushed him over the wooden railings outside and he hit his head.

CHRIS: Is Jack ok?

CALLUM: Yeah he's fine. Look, the school's got pretty good procedures in place around bullying and I've left the rest of the staff know.

I will try to keep an eye on Dylan.

CHRIS: He's had a pretty rough last six months.

CALLUM: I spoke to him a while back and he told me about what's been happening.

I've noticed he's been acting out a bit. Just generally being more aggressive towards other students.

It's not like him.

MICHELLE: Is there anything you think we should do?

CALLUM: Absolutely. You might consider arranging for him to speak to someone?

MICHELLE: Who?

CALLUM: We could tee up a meeting with the school counsellor.

CHRIS: Yeah.

MICHELLE: Okay.

MICHELLE: We need to catch up and go through a few things.

There's a few big expenses coming up for the kids at school. We need to talk about how we're going to handle them.

CHRIS: Yeah okay no problems. I'll give you a call next week.

MICHELLE: Okay 0:06:51.000.0:06:51.500 CHRIS: See you.

MICHELLE: Bye

NANNA: Hayley. I thought you were supposed to be at your Dad's?

HAYLEY: Ahhh...

NANNA: Get into that room right now and clean it up.

CHRIS: Hi Shannon, what's going on?

NANNA: Well I went over to Michelle's to do some watering and Hayley and Sarah were there.

CHRIS: You told me you were staying at Sarah's place. Go to your room I'll talk to you in a minute.

I should have checked with Sarah's parents what was going on.

NANNA: Oh don't be so hard on yourself. I don't think there was any alcohol involved.

CHRIS: Thanks.

CHRIS: I just got off the phone with your mum.

We're going to ground you for two weeks. No phone, no TV and no computer.

HAYLEY: I've stuffed up haven't I?

CHRIS: Yeah, you have.

Don't ever lie to us again.

I know you've been struggling with things lately, but that's no excuse.

HAYLEY: Yeah ... I know Dad.

CHRIS: Well... you're still my favourite daughter.

MICHELLE: Come here beautiful.

MICHELLE: Hi Chris.

CHRIS: Hi Michelle. Come in.

MICHELLE: Thanks.

MICHELLE: The apartment looks good.

CHRIS: Yeah, it's getting there.

Do you want a cup of tea or coffee? I just boiled the kettle.

MICHELLE: No thanks. I'm okay.

CHRIS: So... what do we need to talk about?

MICHELLE: There's some extra expenses next month.

The kids school fees are coming up and I've got their book lists for the new year.

Also Dylan needs some new school shoes and a few shirts.

CHRIS: Okay. Just let me know what you think you need and I'll transfer it into your account.

MICHELLE: Great thanks Chris. I'll give you copies of the receipts after.

CHRIS: Yeah that's fine.

MICHELLE: At some point we'll need to discuss what we're going to do about the house.

CHRIS: I hope in the future the kids look back on their childhood as a good time in their lives.

MICHELLE: The future... I know our kids can have great experiences growing up.

I've really struggled. I thought Chris was my life partner but he's not.

It's been hard.

From here, I'm going to try harder not to let it get in the way of me being a good parent.

Hopefully in the future they'll be able to see we tried to be the best parents we could.

CHRIS: I hope they look back knowing they were loved by both of us.