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An Animation Channel Has Stolen My Identity (Again) - YouTube
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hi so about a year ago i made a video
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about a animation channel that seemed to
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be using my likeness in their video that
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was about an adult who still drank
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breast milk he was addicted to breast
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milk allegedly and uh his name was
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jarvis he seemed to look like me you be
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the judge this channel which i don't
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even want to mention the channel you'll
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find the video if you want to watch it
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but we all know why they're doing this
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in the comments they were liking all the
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comments that were
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referencing me the person as if to
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confirm that i was the one that they
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were targeting with their slander and i
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think in that video i probably said i
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didn't know you know if i should make
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the video and i know that they're just
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doing it for views so that was at a time
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when i was kind of finished talking
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about animated stories even today i
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think the trend is kind of
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is kind of dead for those who aren't
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familiar there still are a bunch of
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channels that pretend to tell
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stories that are from the perspective of
[65]
real kids but they're like completely
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fake i think everyone knows that they're
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fake now so it's not news and then the
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channels just try to get more and more
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ridiculous
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and inappropriate with their topics to
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continue getting clicks a couple of days
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ago they put out a video called mommy's
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milk brings all the boys to the yard and
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it brings back their character named
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jarvis who was addicted to breast milk
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and i was getting you know a lot of
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tweets about this and a lot of
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screenshots were being sent to me so i
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feel like people are expecting me to
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respond if you're watching this right
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now i did this is my job and it probably
[103]
helps me more than it helps them but
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obviously you probably don't want to
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support this channel because even though
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this is a funny gag when i haha about it
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the rest of the content on the channel
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is pretty concerning and we won't be
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talking about it today but we will be
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talking about this video in the
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thumbnail we've got a nice lady who is
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wearing a shirt that says milk mommy i
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don't know if that's like a description
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or like a command
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i'm a milk mommy or like milk mommy you
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know i'm not sure which but she is
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holding two baby bottles that she's
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holding a kimbo like she's a veteran of
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some sort of breast milk related war oh
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it's only two minutes long that's all
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you got that's all you could spare all
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right we'll see we'll see what's up but
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before we get into this completely true
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and not at all fictional retelling of my
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life hello and welcome back to jarvis
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johnson
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the premium channel that is free
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um it is
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it is free but if you're watching this
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your premium hi i'm janelle and haters
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will say this is fake you could say that
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about anything that's fake
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and it doesn't make it less fake because
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if everyone says it's fake that everyone
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includes the haters so technically
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speaking people who are going to say
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this is fake does include the haters so
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that's technically true haters will say
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it's fake i'm saying it's fake
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i am also a hater so that doesn't really
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help my point i just had to look back at
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some of this old video to jog my memory
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unfortunately i still remember waking up
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in the mornings and excitedly running
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into mom's room i'd climb up onto her
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bed saying booby mommy booby
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and pull back the covers to find the
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treat i knew was waiting for me
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wow
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just wow by the time i got to high
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school mom was pumping milk for me of
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course i'd drink it from a glass by then
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but i wasn't sure what i'd do when i
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went to college
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thankfully my older sister amanda came
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to the rescue
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my sister's milk was a little thicker
[233]
and tasted a bit sweeter than mom's
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it was
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so good this breast milk joke
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has followed me for the last year i've
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had people
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reference this video on dating apps
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that is the degree to which it's invaded
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my
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personal life honestly they've done me a
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favor it's an easy way to know that
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someone's down to breastfeed me
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that's just kidding just kidding
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no it's like a red flag okay so where we
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last left our fictional animated version
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of myself he was addicted to breast milk
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and uh he had this like long-term
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girlfriend named janelle who doesn't
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exist in real life and he like
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mansplained to her about how boobs work
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and stuff i think and then
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janelle has a baby again janelle doesn't
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exist
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in real life i'm not a father the
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animated jarvis is a is a family man um
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i am not i just want to make sure that
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i'm like separating the two of us but we
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do share the same name and likeness so
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he had a kid i had a child how do i
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refer to this man
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is that he or me this man had a baby and
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then he was like
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sharing the boobs with his wife and
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child uh which uh which sucks
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which is bad sucks is maybe a bad
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choice of words some evenings i drink
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straight from the source while she feeds
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tyson on the other side okay and the
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baby's name was tyson so we've got
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janelle my fictional wife tyson my
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fictional son if i ever have a kid
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tyson is off the table so i'm gonna have
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to date somebody that has to get serious
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marry someone talk about
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kids discuss naming of kids we're
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several years down the line at this
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point where i say we can't name it i we
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can't name them tyson and she's gonna be
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like why that's my favorite name and i'm
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gonna have to explain this entire story
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to her they put a premiere up for this
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they're like all right everybody gather
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round
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live chats let's watch the
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the long anticipated sequel of mr brest
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is best himself i mention all that
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because canonically it does appear that
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all the same characters
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are in the sequel video janelle here is
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wearing a shirt that says mommy's
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milkers i mean that much is obvious if
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janelle has chosen that she wants to
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express herself with it with a shirt
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that that says mommy's milkers across
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the chest
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go off fictional wife janelle that's
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your prerogative but if it is meant to
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be instructive
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or informational in some way it's not
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for fictional jarvis and it's certainly
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not for baby tyson as he cannot read by
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the way thanks everybody for this
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reasonable like to dislike ratio i would
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love to see more dislikes than likes but
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you know you're not in control of how
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you're perceived on the internet so so
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thanks to everyone who doesn't think
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that mommy's milk brings all the boys to
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the yard well i'm sorry janelle your
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milk can bring all the boys to the yard
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i feel like i feel like a
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fictional controlling husband right now
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i'm gonna just backtrack do whatever you
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want to know
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every night when i finished nursing i'd
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stay in the saddle and pump a little for
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jarvis to take to work
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he'd always tell me how the extra
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nutrition really perked him up and
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helped him get through his day at the
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office
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it seems to me that they have made an
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effort to update their character design
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i feel like he's looking me directly in
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the soul right now i can't i can't look
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at this i feel like they're trying
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harder to get my facial hair right and
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you know these he's got glasses on
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i'm not gonna put on a red shirt i'm not
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gonna do what i did last time where i
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dressed up like him you know actually
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halloween is coming up
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no no no i'm not gonna do it i don't
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like how he takes a sip of the breast
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milk from a straw and then starts typing
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at like a mile a minute he's like
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dude check this [聽__聽] out i didn't think
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it was a big deal
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until one day he came home and asked if
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he could start taking another bottle
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into work
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please mommy
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i do look good in green which i i'm not
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you know against apparently the boss had
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helped himself to jarvis his stash in
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the work fridge what is this universe
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where everybody's like secretly got a
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hankering for for breast milk they can't
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keep their hands off of it i guess
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that's why mommy's milk brings all the
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boys to the yard he would be one of the
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boys
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that is being brought to the yard
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um who was not previously in the yard
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but because of mommy's milk
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um
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he's in the yard now you know what these
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do look more like me but it's that's not
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a good thing
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i'm like to believe that this
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conversation spanned over multiple days
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because i'm wearing two different
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he is wearing two different outfits
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so thinking about this for a second it's
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rude to eat someone else's food or drink
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out of the work fridge it feels like
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even more rude
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and and also bordering on weird and uh
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inappropriate and a crime so you drink
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someone's
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wife's breast milk out of the fridge
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because in a normal universe one might
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assume that that is for a child for
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whatever reason it's in the work bridge
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hopefully it's labeled and if not why is
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the boss taking risks with a random
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beverage i i have so many questions
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about this boss and my fictional self i
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have many questions just in general i
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asked him if he told his boss what it
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was
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i said it was my wife's milk
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and
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well he just called me a soy boy and
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told me to make sure i kept the fridge
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stocked this is a real sigma mail move
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to drink your breast milk and then call
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you a soy boy i don't want to justify
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the use of the term soy boy but i'm
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pretty sure i would assume that if you
[590]
were drinking breast milk it
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hypocritical of you to call someone else
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a soy boy this guy's a [聽__聽] gamma
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male dude on top of that do not talk to
[599]
me
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also don't talk to me him don't talk to
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him like that in the workplace that's
[605]
inappropriate i don't care if you are
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the boss that is a abuse of a power
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dynamic sir
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and also
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it's not my his responsibility to keep
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the fridge stocked with his wife's
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breast milk this breast milk doesn't
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grow on trees my wife her his wife is
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not overflowing with extra breast milk
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and it's a it's a strenuous process
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there was a promotion coming up and we
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really needed the money
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dude
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this is just unsolicited work advice for
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any any of you soy boys out there if
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your boss is holding up a promotion over
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you in exchange for your wife's breast
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milk
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there's other jobs out there and
[650]
just leave just leave don't even don't
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even say anything just don't show up i
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would never give this advice in any
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other context but if you were
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specifically in this situation skip town
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honestly change your identity
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just leave never to be heard from again
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so
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i did what any good wife would do my
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poor his poor wife janelle
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i'm sorry to put you in davey tyson
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through this my son is not gonna get the
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proper nutrition that he needs for
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healthy development this is uncalled for
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baby tyson is gonna be like mommy i'm
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here where do milk at mommy's gonna have
[686]
to let
[687]
little tyson know
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that the milk is in conference room 1b
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and the the exec team is
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slurping it down and that's no way to
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raise a family i did what any good wife
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would do and started pumping extra to
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support my man
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okay janelle
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i hear you i appreciate your support
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through all these years you can tell me
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him no you can tell him no i don't want
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to foster a space in any relationship
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where
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if i were to ask my wife to produce
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extra breast milk
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for the boys back at the office
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she didn't feel safe saying no because
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that's got to be the answer we have to
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put a stop to this at once only jarvis's
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boss told everyone in the office that i
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made the best soy milk in town
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and soon he wasn't the only one guzzling
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it down like this guy had one sip and
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he's just he's gone i think we gotta
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wean you off of that stuff i feel like i
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predicted this i've this i have lived
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this life
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i'm looking into an alternate universe
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that's like already happened didn't know
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that part was coming
[753]
question before we
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discuss what we just saw did the boss
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say it was soy milk to the employees so
[760]
he's like lying about the origins of the
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milk also the soy boy comment makes even
[766]
less sense now wait okay wait so the
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boss i guess is confused about the
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origins of the milk
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so he thinks it's soy milk so a soybean
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comet was 100 hypocritical like even in
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that moment so he called him a soy boy
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because he's like
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give me the soy milk soy boy not like
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you're a soy boy interesting no one
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drinks soy milk it's 20 21
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um and we have forgone the soy milk but
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i do feel like soy milk is kind of uh
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it's kind of been retired so why is the
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office obsessed with it why are none of
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the co-workers going soy i haven't had
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soy milk in five years why are we all
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drinking soy milk all of a sudden also
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i've never had my boss share a drink
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around the office of any kind let alone
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milk
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milk is a bit of a strange drink it's
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not considered much of a mobile drink
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like hey you guys want to come over and
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grab some milks have a good night have a
[824]
good time oh man we've gotta we gotta
[826]
sketch out the q2 plan you grab the expo
[828]
markers and i will get the uh milk
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gallons that we'll be consuming
[834]
while we brainstorm it doesn't track but
[837]
everything else in the story totally
[838]
does so all right so now i want to get
[840]
back into the reactions of my co-workers
[843]
upon their first tasting of
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my wife's milk
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it is mine it is my wife's and it is my
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wife's milk and it belongs to me
[854]
and us it belongs to us and also tyson
[856]
is there too my child he gets it third
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every day there'd be a mad rush to the
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fridge as jarvis's co-workers all tried
[864]
to get their hands on the creamy
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goodness first okay stop describing the
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milk that's the office uh fridge
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bodyguard um he's we hired him to
[874]
to keep the fridge safe
[876]
when you've got rare goods in the fridge
[878]
you'll know you'll know that that's what
[879]
you need i haven't
[881]
drank breast milk outside of when i was
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a baby i'm under the understanding that
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it's not the same consistency as a
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pasteurized normal milk or even a soy
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milk you would notice that it's not
[892]
normal i think wouldn't you yeah maybe
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i'm completely unqualified to talk on
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this because i haven't had breast milk
[899]
this is
[900]
i'm having to come clean i'm sorry but
[902]
then things started to get crazy oh then
[905]
things got crazy okay no they were
[909]
everything was like chill before that
[911]
early one morning we were woken by the
[913]
sound of a rock hitting our bedroom
[915]
window i wish i got up that alert the
[918]
core strength in these two congrats yeah
[921]
they really did like make an effort to
[923]
make me look more like myself and found
[925]
three of jarvis's co-workers standing
[928]
out on the front lawn oh the bodyguard
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no he's been corrupted he was just like
[932]
resource guarding like a dog like a dog
[935]
does apparently they were hooked and
[937]
wanted to get it directly from the
[939]
supplier to avoid missing out hey guys
[942]
what are you what are you protesting
[944]
jarvis's wife has to give us milk
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i'm sorry what she's got to give us milk
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the best milk in town since then there
[951]
hasn't been a morning when i haven't
[953]
woken up to a line of thirsty boys at
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the door desperate for fresh milk why
[958]
are we entertaining this my wife is not
[960]
an animal we are not extracting
[962]
resources from her body like this
[964]
especially not for the whole freaking
[965]
neighborhood go home get off my lawn i
[968]
do look good in a brown robe jarvis
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doesn't seem to see a problem with it
[972]
hindsight's 20 20 babe
[976]
but i'm not so sure
[977]
what do you guys think
[979]
let me know in the comments below so
[981]
this is an active problem
[983]
this is an unsolved this is an unsolved
[986]
mystery there's no
[988]
solutions on the table as to how to
[990]
address this we need to have a talk
[991]
janelle call me
[993]
if you watch that if you're watching
[995]
this let's look at the comments i
[997]
literally cannot tell if this is satire
[999]
or not excuse me cosmic brownie
[1003]
literally you cannot okay okay so she's
[1006]
not into it fine why doesn't she put an
[1008]
end to it or draw the line when it comes
[1010]
to his buddies that's freaky all right
[1012]
victim blaming much okay leave janelle
[1016]
out of this a lot of pressure is being
[1018]
put on her and she's not responsible for
[1020]
this situation she's just trying to be a
[1021]
good wife and a good partner to me
[1024]
him tell them it's not soy milk first
[1027]
yeah like what's the what's the thinking
[1029]
here it's like this lady is making
[1031]
soy milk at her house i don't even know
[1033]
how you make soy milk like what is the
[1035]
process why does she do it so well
[1038]
in their minds
[1039]
a thousand a bottle solve the money
[1041]
problem and the milk problem now only
[1043]
bosses can buy it
[1047]
i like it an enterprising young man i'll
[1049]
report back to janelle and let you know
[1051]
how it goes will there be a part three
[1053]
people are flaming him it's like what is
[1055]
wrong with you
[1057]
segment mail see
[1058]
why are you still obsessed with jarvis
[1060]
johnson because if you use duh i mean
[1062]
like i don't think they can monetize
[1064]
this it's like so i don't i don't know
[1067]
dude sad thing is
[1069]
people like this do actually exist
[1071]
i don't know if there's like a
[1074]
breast milk office
[1076]
somewhere where the whole company is
[1078]
running on some dude's unsuspecting
[1080]
wife's breast milk because again i don't
[1082]
think you can produce breast milk like
[1083]
this am i wrong
[1085]
or maybe tyson that's cool and all but
[1087]
do you have any plain milk i can look
[1089]
into please i don't understand this
[1091]
comment are they looking for milk
[1093]
recommendations you won't last five
[1095]
minutes on this video yeah because it's
[1096]
two minutes long
[1098]
okay this channel is troll confirmed i'm
[1101]
glad the full 14 months later we can
[1103]
confirm that this channel is
[1105]
a troll channel this video made me a
[1108]
male lesbian like drake do you live in
[1110]
florida by any chance not anymore i grew
[1112]
up there the oh no this is a okay this
[1115]
is a florida man joke i don't [聽__聽]
[1117]
know
[1118]
is happening but
[1120]
i really don't know
[1121]
i thought they were gonna say something
[1122]
but they were like i don't know and
[1124]
actually upon further reflection
[1126]
i don't know i don't think it's fake
[1128]
world is full of weird people you are
[1130]
wrong but right
[1133]
okay so i have uh
[1135]
you know completely debased myself for
[1138]
content once again and uh there's what
[1142]
am i what
[1143]
that's the two minute video so
[1147]
that's
[1149]
it
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