Rebel Alliance Life Insurance - YouTube

Channel: Studio C

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鈾櫔
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>>THE BATTLE STATION IS HEAVILY
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SHIELDED AND HAS A FIREPOWER
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GREATER THAN HALF A STAR FLEET,
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BUT A SMALL ONE-MAN FIGHTER
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SHOULD BE ABLE TO PENETRATE
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THE OUTER DEFENSE.
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>>PARDON ME FOR ASKING, SIR,
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BUT WHAT GOOD ARE SUB FIGHTERS
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GOING TO BE AGAINST THAT?
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>>WELL, THE EMPIRE DOESN'T
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CONSIDER A SMALL ONE-MAN-FIGHTER
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TO BE ANY THREAT.
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>>BECAUSE IT PROBABLY ISN'T,
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RIGHT?
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>>YEAH, I GOT A FAMILY.
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WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM IF I,
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YOU KNOW-
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I MEAN,
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IT'S CALLED THE DEATH STAR.
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>>THESE ARE ALL GREAT QUESTIONS.
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THEY'D PROBABLY BEST
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ANSWERED BY HR.
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>>HELLO EVERYONE!
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MY NAME IS LIEREN ANTARES
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WITH HUMAN RESOURCES.
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THIS R2 UNIT'S GOING TO PASS OUT
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SOME PAMPHLETS FOR US SO JUST
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TAKE ONE AND PASS IT AROUND.
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>>[R2 SOUNDS]
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>>THANK YOU.
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>>[R2 SOUNDS]
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>>ALL RIGHT, FIRST OFF,
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I'D LIKE TO WELCOME YOU ALL TO
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THE REBEL ALLIANCE AND TELL YOU
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THANKS FOR JOINING THE FIGHT
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AGAINST THE GALACTIC EMPIRE.
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NOW, I THINK I HEARD SOME
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QUESTIONS OVER HERE?
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>>YEAH,
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WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO US?
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I MEAN THE ODDS CAN'T
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BE THAT GOOD, RIGHT?
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>>OH, WELL THAT'S A
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GREAT QUESTION.
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ONE OF OUR PROTOCOL
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DROIDS ACTUALLY DID A RISK
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ASSESSMENT FOR US.
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3PO WHAT WERE THE
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NUMBERS ON THAT?
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>>OH, THE ODDS OF
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SURVIVING THIS ATTACK ARE
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APPROXIMATELY 3,719 TO ONE.
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>>THAT'S LIKE NAVIGATING
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AN ASTEROID FIELD.
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>>IT'S SLIGHTLY BETTER THAN
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NAVIGATING AN ASTEROID FIELD,
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UNLESS YOU'RE IN A Y-WING.
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THEN IT'S MUCH WORSE.
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>>I'M IN A Y-WING.
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>>WELL, GREAT NEWS!
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BECAUSE ALL NEW HIRES ARE
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ELIGIBLE FOR LIFE INSURANCE
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THROUGH TATOOINE MUTUAL
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BENEFITS ASSOCIATION.
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SO, IF AND PROBABLY
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WHEN YOU DIE IN BATTLE,
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YOU CAN REST ASSURED
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KNOWING THAT YOUR FAMILY
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WILL BE TAKEN CARE OF.
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>>THAT'S KIND OF COMFORTING.
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HOW MUCH DOES IT COST?
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>>WELL, YOUR MONTHLY
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PREMIUM STARTS AT 600 CREDITS.
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>>THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS!
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WHAT AM I?
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MADE OUT OF CREDITS?
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>>I UNDERSTAND,
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BUT IT'S VERY DIFFICULT FINDING
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A COMPANY THAT IS WILLING TO
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INSURE AN ORGANIZATION THAT IS
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UNDERMINING THE GOVERNMENT.
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>>THAT'S FAIR.
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>>BUT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE,
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YOU'LL PROBABLY ONLY BE
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MAKING ONE PAYMENT.
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>>OH GOOD.
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WAIT...
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>>ALL RIGHT, LET'S TALK ABOUT
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HEALTH INSURANCE NOW-
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>>I HAVE A QUESTION.
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>>YEAH, MISTER SKYWALKER.
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>>WHAT DOES THE ACCIDENTAL DEATH
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AND DISMEMBERMENT COVER?
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>>THAT JUST MEANS THAT IF YOU
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LOST A LIMB WE REPLACE IT.
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>>LIKE I'M EVER
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GOING TO NEED THAT.
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>>YEAH, THAT LIFE
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INSURANCE POLICY,
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IS IT POSSIBLE TO BORROW AGAINST
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IT IF YOU WANT SOME MONEY TO-
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I DON'T KNOW,
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PAY OFF SOME DEBTS OR SOMETHING?
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>>YEAH, THAT'S POSSIBLE,
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BUT IF YOU DIDN'T
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PUT THE MONEY BACK,
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WE'D PUT A FREEZE ON YOU.
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>>YOU MEAN,
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FREEZE MY ACCOUNT, RIGHT?
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>>SURE.
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>>[WOOKIE SOUNDS]
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>>YES, UNFORTUNATELY ALL
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HUMAN RESOURCES POLICIES
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APPLY TO ALL SPECIES.
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>>[WOOKIE SOUNDS]
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>>THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION,
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BUT RIPPING ARMS FROM SOCKETS
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IS CONSIDERED HARASSMENT.
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>>[WOOKIE SOUNDS]
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>>YOU'RE WELCOME.
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ALL RIGHT,
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AS EMPLOYEES YOU'RE ALL ELIGIBLE
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FOR OUR CUSTOM COMPUTED 401K,
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WHICH THE COMPANY WILL
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MATCH UP TO 10 PERCENT.
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>>THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE
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EVEN FOR A COMPUTER!
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>>IT'S NOT IMPOSSIBLE.
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I USED TO GET RATES LIKE THAT
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IN MY ROTH IRA BACK HOME.
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>>YOU ALSO HAVE THE
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OPPORTUNITY TO DONATE A
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PORTION OF YOUR PAYCHECK TO
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HELP OUT THE REBEL ALLIANCE.
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>>IT'S A TRAP!
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>>NO, IT'S NOT A TRAP!
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LIKE I SAID, IT'S OPTIONAL.
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YOU KNOW,
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WE'RE STILL A NON-PROFIT.
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THERE'S NO WORRIES THERE.
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>>SORRY.
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>>IT'S ALL RIGHT.
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>>WE NEED TO WRAP THIS UP.
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THE DEATH STAR IS APPROACHING.
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>>OKAY!
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OKAY!
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SO FOR THOSE OF
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YOU THAT SURVIVE,
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JUST KNOW THAT YOU
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GET UP TO ONE-WEEK
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VACATION AND TEN SICK DAYS.
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ALTHOUGH I RECOMMEND
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YOU SAVE SOME,
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WE ARE PLANNING A COMPANY
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MOVE TO HOTH LATER THIS YEAR.
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>>[GROANS]
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>>I KNOW!
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I KNOW!
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IT SEEMS WE KEEP SETTING UP
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BASE AND ALERDAAN PLACES.
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>>[CRIES]
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>>OH!
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PRINC- PRINCESS LEIA!
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NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
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ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY TURN TO
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THE BACK PICK OUT A COFFIN AND
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MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!
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>>I HAVE A BAD
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FEELING ABOUT THIS.
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>>THANKS FOR WATCHING STUDIO C!
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TUNE IT NEXT WEEK AND
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MAY THE FORCE, YOU KNOW.
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鈾櫔
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>>THANKS FOR WATCHING THAT VIDEO
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AND MAKE SURE TO SUBSCRIBE.
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>>YEAH, AND DON'T FORGET TO
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LEAVE A COMMENT ABOUT YOUR
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FAVORITE MOMENT FROM STAR WARS.
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>>IT'S A TRAP!
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>>SHUT UP ACKBAR!
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>>IT'S NOT A TRAP!
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I HOPE YOU NEVER GET
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PROMOTED PASSED SERGEANT.