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Rebel Alliance Life Insurance - YouTube

Channel: Studio C

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♪♪

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>>THE BATTLE STATION IS HEAVILY

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SHIELDED AND HAS A FIREPOWER

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GREATER THAN HALF A STAR FLEET,

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BUT A SMALL ONE-MAN FIGHTER

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SHOULD BE ABLE TO PENETRATE

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THE OUTER DEFENSE.

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>>PARDON ME FOR ASKING, SIR,

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BUT WHAT GOOD ARE SUB FIGHTERS

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GOING TO BE AGAINST THAT?

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>>WELL, THE EMPIRE DOESN'T

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CONSIDER A SMALL ONE-MAN-FIGHTER

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TO BE ANY THREAT.

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>>BECAUSE IT PROBABLY ISN'T,

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RIGHT?

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>>YEAH, I GOT A FAMILY.

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WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM IF I,

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YOU KNOW-

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I MEAN,

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IT'S CALLED THE DEATH STAR.

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>>THESE ARE ALL GREAT QUESTIONS.

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THEY'D PROBABLY BEST

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ANSWERED BY HR.

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>>HELLO EVERYONE!

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MY NAME IS LIEREN ANTARES

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WITH HUMAN RESOURCES.

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THIS R2 UNIT'S GOING TO PASS OUT

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SOME PAMPHLETS FOR US SO JUST

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TAKE ONE AND PASS IT AROUND.

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>>[R2 SOUNDS]

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>>THANK YOU.

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>>[R2 SOUNDS]

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>>ALL RIGHT, FIRST OFF,

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I'D LIKE TO WELCOME YOU ALL TO

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THE REBEL ALLIANCE AND TELL YOU

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THANKS FOR JOINING THE FIGHT

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AGAINST THE GALACTIC EMPIRE.

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NOW, I THINK I HEARD SOME

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QUESTIONS OVER HERE?

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>>YEAH,

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WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO US?

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I MEAN THE ODDS CAN'T

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BE THAT GOOD, RIGHT?

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>>OH, WELL THAT'S A

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GREAT QUESTION.

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ONE OF OUR PROTOCOL

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DROIDS ACTUALLY DID A RISK

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ASSESSMENT FOR US.

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3PO WHAT WERE THE

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NUMBERS ON THAT?

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>>OH, THE ODDS OF

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SURVIVING THIS ATTACK ARE

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APPROXIMATELY 3,719 TO ONE.

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>>THAT'S LIKE NAVIGATING

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AN ASTEROID FIELD.

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>>IT'S SLIGHTLY BETTER THAN

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NAVIGATING AN ASTEROID FIELD,

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UNLESS YOU'RE IN A Y-WING.

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THEN IT'S MUCH WORSE.

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>>I'M IN A Y-WING.

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>>WELL, GREAT NEWS!

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BECAUSE ALL NEW HIRES ARE

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ELIGIBLE FOR LIFE INSURANCE

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THROUGH TATOOINE MUTUAL

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BENEFITS ASSOCIATION.

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SO, IF AND PROBABLY

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WHEN YOU DIE IN BATTLE,

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YOU CAN REST ASSURED

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KNOWING THAT YOUR FAMILY

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WILL BE TAKEN CARE OF.

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>>THAT'S KIND OF COMFORTING.

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HOW MUCH DOES IT COST?

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>>WELL, YOUR MONTHLY

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PREMIUM STARTS AT 600 CREDITS.

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>>THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS!

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WHAT AM I?

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MADE OUT OF CREDITS?

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>>I UNDERSTAND,

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BUT IT'S VERY DIFFICULT FINDING

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A COMPANY THAT IS WILLING TO

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INSURE AN ORGANIZATION THAT IS

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UNDERMINING THE GOVERNMENT.

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>>THAT'S FAIR.

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>>BUT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE,

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YOU'LL PROBABLY ONLY BE

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MAKING ONE PAYMENT.

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>>OH GOOD.

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WAIT...

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>>ALL RIGHT, LET'S TALK ABOUT

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HEALTH INSURANCE NOW-

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>>I HAVE A QUESTION.

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>>YEAH, MISTER SKYWALKER.

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>>WHAT DOES THE ACCIDENTAL DEATH

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AND DISMEMBERMENT COVER?

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>>THAT JUST MEANS THAT IF YOU

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LOST A LIMB WE REPLACE IT.

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>>LIKE I'M EVER

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GOING TO NEED THAT.

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>>YEAH, THAT LIFE

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INSURANCE POLICY,

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IS IT POSSIBLE TO BORROW AGAINST

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IT IF YOU WANT SOME MONEY TO-

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I DON'T KNOW,

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PAY OFF SOME DEBTS OR SOMETHING?

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>>YEAH, THAT'S POSSIBLE,

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BUT IF YOU DIDN'T

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PUT THE MONEY BACK,

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WE'D PUT A FREEZE ON YOU.

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>>YOU MEAN,

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FREEZE MY ACCOUNT, RIGHT?

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>>SURE.

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>>[WOOKIE SOUNDS]

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>>YES, UNFORTUNATELY ALL

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HUMAN RESOURCES POLICIES

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APPLY TO ALL SPECIES.

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>>[WOOKIE SOUNDS]

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>>THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION,

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BUT RIPPING ARMS FROM SOCKETS

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IS CONSIDERED HARASSMENT.

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>>[WOOKIE SOUNDS]

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>>YOU'RE WELCOME.

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ALL RIGHT,

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AS EMPLOYEES YOU'RE ALL ELIGIBLE

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FOR OUR CUSTOM COMPUTED 401K,

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WHICH THE COMPANY WILL

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MATCH UP TO 10 PERCENT.

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>>THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE

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EVEN FOR A COMPUTER!

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>>IT'S NOT IMPOSSIBLE.

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I USED TO GET RATES LIKE THAT

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IN MY ROTH IRA BACK HOME.

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>>YOU ALSO HAVE THE

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OPPORTUNITY TO DONATE A

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PORTION OF YOUR PAYCHECK TO

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HELP OUT THE REBEL ALLIANCE.

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>>IT'S A TRAP!

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>>NO, IT'S NOT A TRAP!

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LIKE I SAID, IT'S OPTIONAL.

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YOU KNOW,

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WE'RE STILL A NON-PROFIT.

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THERE'S NO WORRIES THERE.

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>>SORRY.

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>>IT'S ALL RIGHT.

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>>WE NEED TO WRAP THIS UP.

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THE DEATH STAR IS APPROACHING.

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>>OKAY!

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OKAY!

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SO FOR THOSE OF

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YOU THAT SURVIVE,

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JUST KNOW THAT YOU

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GET UP TO ONE-WEEK

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VACATION AND TEN SICK DAYS.

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ALTHOUGH I RECOMMEND

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YOU SAVE SOME,

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WE ARE PLANNING A COMPANY

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MOVE TO HOTH LATER THIS YEAR.

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>>[GROANS]

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>>I KNOW!

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I KNOW!

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IT SEEMS WE KEEP SETTING UP

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BASE AND ALERDAAN PLACES.

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>>[CRIES]

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>>OH!

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PRINC- PRINCESS LEIA!

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NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

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ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY TURN TO

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THE BACK PICK OUT A COFFIN AND

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MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!

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>>I HAVE A BAD

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FEELING ABOUT THIS.

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>>THANKS FOR WATCHING STUDIO C!

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TUNE IT NEXT WEEK AND

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MAY THE FORCE, YOU KNOW.

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♪♪

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>>THANKS FOR WATCHING THAT VIDEO

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AND MAKE SURE TO SUBSCRIBE.

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>>YEAH, AND DON'T FORGET TO

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