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YOU vs Half-Life's Gordon Freeman (Could You Defeat And Survive Him) - YouTube
Channel: The Infographics Show
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It's another wonderful day in City 17, or
at least you think it is.
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Truth is ever since you started drinking Dr.
Breen's Private Reserve, you really can't
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remember if you've ever had a bad day before
in your life.
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Then again, you can't remember much about
your old life anyways because just like any
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career-focused Combine Civil Protection Force
member, you opted in for the memory erasure
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in order to ensure fast promotion.
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Who needs personal memories when you're raking
in all that sweet, sweet mullah!
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Besides, you think you like your life much
better now.
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At least it's quieter, and you seem to vaguely
recall something about evil spirits, possessed
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girlfriends, and throwing said girlfriends
off cliffs or out windows.
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Oh well, new alien overlords, new you.
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As you watch from your post on City 17's train
station, the latest citizen transfer train
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rolls in.
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Oh boy, you sigh to yourself, more goobers
from other cities come to see the glory that
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is The Citadel.
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Well, you resolve to rough up a few of them,
wether they have authorized transfer tickets
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or not.
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A civil protection force officer who beats,
is a civil protection force officer who cares.
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You watch the citizens exiting their train
cars and can't help but overhear one of them
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as he looks over his shoulder at another citizen
and says, “Hey, I didn't see you board...
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that's strange.”
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Strange indeed- could this be a stowaway?
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Impossible, no human could survive the harsh
conditions outside of the Cities.
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You decided you'd better check it out and
make your way over.
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The mystery man looks... well, rather unassuming.
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Kind of like a nerdish book type really.
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He's got a goatee and thick black glasses-
ha, goatees are so pre-seven hour war.
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What a total nerd.
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As you approach him you knock over an empty
aluminum can and instruct this stranger to
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pick it up.
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It's so pathetic the way citizens always do,
terror that you might shoot them in the face
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if they disobey in their eyes... because of
course, you might actually shoot them in the
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face.
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That reminds you, you have to check in later
with your supervisors on exactly how many
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humans you're allowed to kill now... with
the suppression field up nobody's had a kid
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in decades, and well, much like the rest of
earth's resources, humanity is becoming a
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rapidly diminishing resource.
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This citizen though looks down at the can
and, well, you can't believe it, he hesitates!
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There's something in his eyes, something...
defiant.
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It's almost like he hasn't lived the last
twenty years in an oppressive police state
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overseen by alien rulers from another dimension.
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You go to teach this citizen a lesson when
suddenly one of your fellow officers steps
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in, informs you that this one is wanted for
questioning.
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You offer your services, nothing makes a day
better than some random beatings, but the
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officer declines, says he can handle it himself.
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You watch this goateed stranger walk away
and shrug your shoulders, now he's somebody
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else's problem.
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You've got enough on your plate already with
random beatings, the occasional shooting,
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and of course, avoiding being transferred
off world.
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You shudder at the thought, death is a better
fate than being sent to one of the Combine's
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other worlds.
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A while later, what seems like a half-life
to you, there's alarms and your supervisor
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screaming in your ear.
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This goateed man has escaped, and whoever
he is, he is very high priority target- you
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mutter a curse and start booking it, thinking
about the hell the poor sucker who let him
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get away is going to be stationed at when
this is all over.
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So you decided to join the Combine's Transhuman
military and gave up your liberty to become
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a brutal thug for an interdimensional empire,
and now Gordon Freeman has shown up to absolutely
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ruin your day.
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How in the world are you going to fight, and
defeat, the most dangerous man in any dimension?
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Dr. Gordon Freeman is an MIT trained theoretical
physicist, whose expertise is pressing buttons
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and pulling levers.
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That of course is when he's not busy kicking
alien ass all over two different dimensions.
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Freeman was originally assigned to the Black
Mesa research facility, where a resonance
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cascade during a teleportation experiment
ended up accidentally opening up a portal
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to the alien world of Xen.
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The incident prompted a military invasion
of the Black Mesa facility in order to contain
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and clean up the threat posed by the alien
creatures.
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Ever resourceful, Freeman was forced to fight
for his life against both interdimensional
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aliens and human military forces.
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Despite having no weapons experience, Freeman
quickly developed a proficiency in small arms,
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becoming a crack shot with multiple weapons.
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However, his expertise extended into even
heavy weapons such as shoulder-fired anti-armor
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weapons and explosives.
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Basically, an alien invasion forced Morgan
Freeman to become a nerd Rambo.
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Upon Freeman's return to earth thanks to the
intervention of the mysterious G'Man, he's
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come home to discover a world that has been
overrun and is now ruled by aliens from another
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dimension.
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Needless to say, Freeman is more than a little
pissed, and along with his trusty crowbar
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he's aiming to turn this alien invasion around
and set the people of earth free.
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For you though this means you'll be out of
a job, and though you can't quite remember
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your past, you know for a fact that you don't
want to go back to what you think was a life
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of battling evil demons and spirits who possess
your girlfriends and force you to yeet them
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out open windows.
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This 'free-man' must be stopped, and besides
you've invested so much into the Combine's
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401k plan already.
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Taking down Freeman is not going to be an
easy task, most notably because every time
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that you and your fellow Combine soldiers
get close to doing so, he seems to have a
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number of lucky interventions.
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Even when trapped in a certain death scenario,
Freeman's own personal guardian angel, the
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enigmatic G'man, seems to swoop in at the
nick of time and teleport him away.
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How in the world are you going to fight that?!
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Well, you could try and use Combine technology,
but despite being an extremely advanced alien
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race, the Combine are actually pretty terrible
at teleporting, and can't even teleport between
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two places in the same universe.
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They can only move between universes.
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Then of course there's that pesky D-O-G machine
that keeps swooping in to save Gordon.
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A giant quadruped robot, the thing may have
been built out of trash but man can it take
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a beating.
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You've personally watched Freeman blow countless
gunships out of the sky, and yet even your
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heavy weapons don't seem to do much but occasionally
slow down DOG.
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Honestly, you're starting to wonder why the
Combine doesn't just copy the design, and
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why in the world is some young human engineer
working with literal trash doing a better
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job of building murder machines than the intergalactic
alien empire?!
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Screw it, you'll just jump into the fray and
overwhelm Freeman with numbers.
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After all, there's literally millions of your
fellow Combine soldiers, and countless other
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soldiers can be teleported in from other Combine
worlds if you really need them.
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And there's what, like 60 human rebels left?
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This will be a walk in the park, and you and
your fellow evil alien overlord transhuman
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cops chuckle to yourselves as you ride an
APC to the battle.
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Except as soon as you exit the vehicle one
of your buddies gets immediately gunned down.
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You rush for a covering position and watch
as another squad member drops.
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Roaring in anger, you pop up from behind your
cover and open fire on Freeman, but watch
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as the bullets literally ping off his armor.
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Meanwhile, like three shots from his rifle
drops yet another one of your buddies.
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You are seriously starting to have second
thoughts about this whole Combine business.
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Why in the world is the scruffy human resistance
able to build better armor for its soldiers
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than the freaking intergalactic alien empire?!
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What, did the Combine also invade the Star
Wars universe and get the guy who makes Storm
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Trooper armor to design its military force's
armor?!
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Well, screw it, you're not going to sit here
and get turned to swiss cheese for an evil
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alien empire that can't even build better
body armor than some pathetic human resistance
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members.
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Or make better war robots than some girl can
manage to do with a pile of junkyard trash.
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You throw your rifle down and surrender, because
clearly there's no beating Gordon Freeman
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in this dimension- and even if you did, well,
you can't beat his G'man guardian angel and
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neither can your alien overlords.
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Hey, you might have failed to take down the
legendary Gordon Freeman, but maybe you want
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to know how to take down the evil Freddy Fazbear
instead- click on this video here.
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Or perhaps you'd enjoy this other video instead!
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Either way, click one now, because unlike
Valve, we won't make you wait twenty years
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for a sequel!
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